books
The Order of the Phoenix Park was my first book, released in March of 2008. Here’s the bumpf off the back of it.
For three years Twenty Major has written a daily blog. Now though comes a tale so bizarre and abominable that mere words on a computer screen wouldnt have been able to do it justice. These words need to be on paper …
When Twenty Major’s friend, record-shop-owner Tom OFarrell is brutally shot in the stomach, his dying act was to scrawl the number 60 in blood on his chest and dial Twentys number into his phone. When Twenty is called to the scene of the crime he hasn’t a clue why Tom was trying to contact him or what the hell the number 60 means. But himself and Tom go back a long way and he vows to find Tom’s killer.
Then things take a turn for the worse: Folkapalooza is announced a massive free concert due to take place in the Phoenix Park with headlining acts Damien Rice, James Blunt and David Gray. Something is wrong really wrong.
Why are people obsessed with Folkapalooza? What has turned the Goths outside the Central Bank into acoustic loving drips? Who is the ginger albino and how does it all link to Tom? Can Twenty, Jimmy the Bollix, Stinking Pete, Dirty Dave, Lucky and even Ron himself, save the people of Dublin and, less importantly, the rest of Ireland, from a fate that is, quite literally, worse than death?
And solve a murder along the way?
So there you go. Some people liked it, some people didn’t, which is entirely their prerogative.
Anyway, here’s some of the stuff people said about it:
Sick, twisted, weird, politically incorrect, foul and brilliant, THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX PARK is a guilty pleasure that makes pot noodles look like porridge … this a great read and a fine accomplishment for his first novel. – RTE
The humour in THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX PARK is gleefully silly in the manner of cult comedy The Jerk … Throughout, the Major has irreverent jabs at numerous targets (including Hot Press, the bloody upstart) and keeps the story moving at a brisk pace. Overall, a highly entertaining read – HOT PRESS
Twenty Major is the child of Wodehouse, Python and, especially, Flann O’Brien. It’s simply absurd, and it has the exuberant anarchism of the truly silly. A real page turner - THE DUBLINER
THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX PARK by Twenty Major is the worst book I have ever finished. The book concludes with an acknowledgments section. The last line, directed at the readers of his blog, is: “Thank you all, you magnificent c***s.” That, really, is all you need to know: either it includes you, or it doesn’t. It is, though, likely to include the twenty-something male sitting across from you on the bus home, who will be chuckling over Twenty’s violent nihilism, toilet truths and use of the word ‘c**t’. He and his mates are going to make this a bestseller. - THE IRISH TIMES
Treading a frequently blurred line between comedy, farce, thriller and social commentary, THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX PARK (a very Colin Bateman-esque title that ) does possess an infectious energy … and a few cracking ideas - EVENING HERALD
That’s what the media had to say but some fellow bloggers had their tuppenceworth to throw in. Here are a couple of those:
Twenty elevates the use of profane invective to an art form. He weaves a wealth of pop cultural references in the novel that are like a delicious in-joke to the reader. It’s a fun page-turner that is also as much of a love letter to Dublin as anything Joyce wrote. – Dante and the Lobster
Overall, a great read and a fantastic first novel – I can’t wait for the next one to come along. In the next few years we might just realise that Twenty could be Ireland’s answer to Terry Pratchett! - Elly
My foremost impression of the book is how funny it is. It’s a really enjoyable, laugh out loud read. His style encapsulates his favourite in-jokes, but they’re accessible – Infantasia
Book 2, which is entitled ‘Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder’ will be published in February/March 2009. Here’s the bumpf.
IT’S JUST DAYS after the Folkapalooza concert and having saved the world, Twenty Major is looking forward to some R&R but little does he know that his murky past is about to catch up with him…
Notorious Dublin gangster Tony Furriskey is calling in his marker. Some time ago he helped Twenty and Jimmy the Bollix out of a hole and the time has come for them to repay the favour…or end up swimming with the Dublin Bay prawns. Tony’s youngest daughter, is about to marry a man he thoroughly disproves of and it’s down to Twenty and Jimmy to make sure the wedding doesn’t happen.
They must follow the young man and his pals to Barcelona where the stag weekend is taking place, infiltrate the stag party and make sure, one way or another, that the wedding doesn’t happen.
But will Twenty’s Barcelona past catch up with him? Which one of the group finds true love at last? And can they put down the cheap mojitos long enough stop the wedding? In the city of Gaudi and Picasso, Twenty, Jimmy, Stinking Pete and Dirty Dave are more gaudy and pickarse-o as they try and enjoy the Mediterranean sun while getting the job done.
You can pre-order from Amazon right here.
