We had a fundraiser in Ron’s last night for that old earthquake thing.

“Hatin’ for Haiti’ was a resounding success. Each person had to get up and rant about something they disliked intensely. Jimmy’s prolonged tirade about the fat old one from Boyzone and how he could be directly linked to the financial and political crisis in this country was a thing of wonder.

Stinking Pete spoke about how much he detests public speaking, Splodge about people from Luxembourg and even old Charlie down the end of the bar had a go, explaining why people who put your change on the counter when you have your hand out for it ought to be exterminated in concentration camps.

In the end we raised a good old sum of money which Ron put in a pint glass behind the bar before doing his bit about how he hated fundraisers and as such was confiscating the money to help pay for the urinal Dave cracked when he passed out in the jacks last week.

Hey, needs must.