People who make airports worse than they already are need a good kick in the ringpiece. Like the Gardai who have been on an unofficial ‘go slow’ (I know, how ironic), since a €29 a day meal allowance was withdrawn.

€29 a day for a meal allowance? Where were they going for lunch, Chapter One?

€5 on an O’Brien’s sandwich and a coffee, maybe an extra euro so they could get a pack of cheese and onion, that’s about as much as I’d give them. €29 a day?!

So what they’ve been doing is checking everyone’s passport as they disembark, asking them questions, being all friendly and nice and if we need any further evidence this is a concerted campaign by the Gardai that is it. Since when are the cunts friendly and nice?

So huge queues build up in passport control and all because these guys don’t get a whopping meal allowance. Here’s what I’d do. I’d say ‘Hey lads, sorry about that. We shouldn’t have taken away all that money so you can add to your already protruding bellies. To make it up to you join us on this flight where we’ve got Michelin star chef, that cunt from Mint, to prepare you a fantastic meal’.

So they all get on the plane, you pay some sick-of-life pilot to fly the thing over the Bermuda Triange, plane disappears, Gardai disappear and that cunt from Mint gets it too. Simple.

I know there’s a lot of shit going on in the world at the moment but making people queue when they don’t have to is as low as it gets.