So it’s strike day. I read in the paper that Gardai in rural areas are turning off their mobiles so as not to help their colleagues or people or anyone else. They’re going to sit on their holes doing nothing [insert obvious joke in here].

Strikes me it’s the perfect day for organised criminal gangs to carry out a bit of the old illegal felonious yardbird stuff they like to carry out. Response times? Pfff, don’t make me laugh.

It might also be a good day to take out David McSavage. In the interests of public comment I watched the second half of his ‘Savage Eye’ show last night.

It is, without question, the unfunniest thing that has ever been broadcast on TV anywhere in the world. And I include Arab TV where they show live HD beheadings of screaming westerners.

Saying the word ‘Queer’ in a thick bogger accent is not funny. Riverdance sketches? Brilliant. Why had nobody thought of that before? The lads at Langerland would want to have a look at it as well. It struck me some of the stuff was just ripped off from their cartoons. There were ‘jokes’ about paedophile priests and as my arch-competitor in the old Entertainment Ireland awards blog vote thingy Maman Poulet pointed out, they come in the week when the Dublin Diocesan report is to be published, heaping more shame upon the Church and no doubt causing further anguish to the victims.

He tried surreal, we got shite. And I don’t mean any old kind of shite. I mean the kind of shite that it riddled with worms and clumps of unidentifiable body tissue. It was far, far worse than I had imagined.

And we paid for it with our licence fee money. Whoever commissioned this abomination ought to be fired. Whoever viewed this prior to broadcast and allowed it to be spewed onto national television ought to be thoroughly ashamed of themselves them horsewhipped. And there are another 5 episodes to. If RTE had any stones it would cancel it immediately and replace it with half an hour of the test card or simply a high pitched tone. It would have more merit as a piece of entertainment than the muck McSavage has foisted upon an already distressed nation.

If the public sector workers went on strike to protest about this TV show then they would have unanimous support from the whole country. He makes the cunt who invented those Spar ads with Louis Walsh and Bertie Ahern look like the greatest comedy genius that ever lived.

If the Gardai can find the time to stitch up innocent Donegal publicans then the fact they haven’t done a thing to McSavage, who is guilty of so much, is an absolute shame on them.

Put it right, coppers. What else have you got to do today?

Some time ago I was walking through town and I neared the top of Grafton Street. ‘Comedian’ David McSavage was there with his guitar and his amp spewing his ‘unique brand’ of aural pollution. A man and his daughter passed by the circle of cretins who were standing around listening to McSavage.

Ever the wit he said something to the man about the girl being a bit young for him. Classy. The man ignored it, the girl asked her Dad something, I decided it would be perfectly acceptable for me to go and hit McSavage in the face. I was persuaded by my companion on the day that while undeniably pleasurable it would probably not be worth it in the grand scheme of things.

I did not punch him in the face and to this day I regret it because he really needs to be punched in the face. If I had the powers of Manimal, who could transform himself into animals, I would turn into a donkey, stand in front of McSavage and kick him right in the teeth.

The reason I mention this man is because he has a new TV show coming up. Called ‘The Savage Eye’. Yesterday’s Sunday Times ran a big two page spread on him in the Culture section. And not once did they mention that McSavage simply is not funny. And not only is he not funny, he’s a cunt.

This is the same Sunday Times that likes to slate pretty much everything. I’m sure when Liam Fay gets around to reviewing the TV show he will give it a good hammering, which is what he does to every TV show he reviews. I’m not sure why they employ a TV reviewer who doesn’t like anything on TV, but there you go.

A publication that, certainly from an Irish perspective, sees reviewing as the art of criticising something, had nothing critical to say about a man who has proven time and time again that he is to comedy what Josef Fritzl is to babysitting.

Maybe they’re keeping onside with the Andrews clan, what with cousin Ryan now hosting the Late, Late (and I wonder did he help facilitate the production of this monstrosity), and now a man of real influence if limited talent.

How is it that Ireland, a nation famed for writers, wits and performers, has provided a 6 episode platform for an outright cunt to prove to everyone he is as funny as cancer? I know a man who has a genuinely funny sitcom yet he can’t get near anyone to produce it, least of all RTE. Yet they have the money for this wanker? And the Sunday Times don’t have the balls to say anything about it? They’re wankers too.

The country is in a bad enough state already without foisting this twat on us. That they are using licence fee money to pay McSavage should make it perfectly legal to never pay the licence fee again.

I haven’t seen him around town much lately but if  he deigns to perform on the public streets again and I hear him make a ‘joke’ like the one about the man and his daughter, I won’t be dissuaded from giving him the smack in the chops he deserves.

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More on McSavage here and here and here on boards.ie (lots of stories of him being a cunt to wade through) – and there was a brilliant YouTube clip of a voicemail he left for the manager of the Sugar Club. The video is set to private though, anyone have a copy?

Did any of you watch Savage Eye, the TV show RTE have given to Ireland’s unfunniest man, David McSavage?

I didn’t, because David McSavage is about as funny as having your eyeballs sliced open with a rusty blade while being raped your dad.