I was going to post a well researched piece called ‘The 10 reasons why God, and any tard that believes in him, is a complete cunt’.

But then I saw the new Defamation Bill which makes Blasphemous Libel a crime. I capitalised it because it’s so important. I thought to myself ‘Goodness, if I blaspheme then I could be in serious bother. Someone might sue me for the hurt I have caused them and take every last penny I have. And I don’t have too many pennies’.

But then, right, I got to thinking that if I call God a cunt then it’s not libel, as I don’t think calling someone a cunt is libel. Unless that person wants to get really pedantic, proving in court that they are actually a woman’s front bottom. So God is a cunt. And Dermot Ahern is a cunt. Show me your labia, Dermot, and I’ll happily retract. Until then you’re a fucking cunt.

But let’s say I say all Catholics are cunts. Still not libel. If I say all Catholics are child molesters that’s probably the right kind of territory but how is that going to work? Are ALL Catholics going to sue me for blasphemous libel? A class action suit against lil ol’ me? Unlikely.

And if we accept that God or Gods or whatever do exist, and I realise that I’m asking you to believe in something which is about as likely as the Tooth Fairy, but exist in a different plane from the rest of us, how can they use human laws when they’re Gods? And Jesus, you can’t libel Jesus. He’s dead. You can’t libel the dead.

If I got a TV sketch show and I had a character called Shylock McGinty, the loveable one-legged Jew from the Liberties who was an alcoholic but had a really big nose and was somewhat miserly with his money, would that open me up to this new bill? I don’t think so. It’d be simply rehashing old stereotypes about religions, it’s not blaspheming.

And if we accept diversity in what people think and believe then surely we have to accept that what might be good for the Jewish goose is not as good for the Muslim gander?

What exactly do you have to do blaspheme? How can they prove it’s actually blasphemous? And what’s stopping me, should I be prosecuted under this bill, from setting up my own religion which has a fundamental teaching that being sued for blasphemous libel is blasphemous to my own religion, thus seeing me counter-sue and we have a vicious, blasphemous circle?

I have no doubt at all this is one of the most stupid, archaic, pointless and nonsensical pieces of legislation I have ever seen. It’s making other countries laugh at us. Even ones full of radical Islamists who we know don’t find anything but chopping people’s heads off funny.

But surely nobody is ever going to get prosecuted under it. Are they?

Can you believe this shit?

A NEW crime of blasphemous libel is to be proposed by the Minister for Justice in an amendment to the Defamation Bill, which will be discussed by the Oireachtas committee on justice today.

Minister for Justice Dermot Ahern proposes to insert a new section into the Defamation Bill, stating: “A person who publishes or utters blasphemous matter shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable upon conviction on indictment to a fine not exceeding €100,000.”

Fuck right off. While I’m quite happy to accept the fact that some people need the crutch that is religion to get through life, and I’m quite happy to let people believe in whatever they want, this is absurd.

Ireland is a secular state, I really thought we were making progress in that regard. The Catholic Church bum-fucked this country for years. We’ve been witness to a litany of abuse, corruption, crime and very little punishment. They’ve made millions from the people of Ireland down the years. And now we could go to jail and get a fine of up to €100,000 for ‘blasphemy’? Give me strength.

And let’s look at it this way – how can you blaspheme something which does not exist? There is not the slightest shred of evidence that such a being as ‘God’ exists. There are holy books and sacred scrolls but none of them prove the existence of God.

So until such time that there is irrefutable proof that God is real then you cannot blaspheme. Belief and faith in God are no substantiation, or transubstantiation. The fact that millions of people believe in God, or Allah or whatever flavour of the one idea, is no proof that God exists.

This is possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s like saying you can be fined for libelling Santa Claus or the fucking Tooth Fairy.

Here’s what I think, if there is a God then he’s a fucking cunt. Possibly the biggest cunt that the world has ever seen. Bigger than Gerry Ryan, worse than Cristiano Ronaldo, he makes Hitler look positively fun-loving. How many have died in the name of God? How many have been tortured, raped, mutilated, oppressed? I’d say you could live to 500 and you wouldn’t be able to count that high.

And the number of people whose lives have been made better by this most outrageous of human fictions is far, far less I’d wager.

It is unbelievable to me in this day and age that people with education and learning still believe in God. It’s nonsense. It’s a fairy-tale but the grimmest, bloodiest fairy-tale of them all. I do not believe in God. That is my right. And until somebody gives me proof positive that God exists then you cannot libel or blaspheme him/her/it.

So what if something is offensive to someone’s religion? Don’t read it. Don’t listen to it. Don’t watch it. I find the whole concept of religion offensive. That we in the 21st century still tolerate religions which make women cover themselves from head to toe, that make homosexuality a crime punishable by death, that spread fear and set man against man simply because they choose to believe something different, that shortcircuits people’s brains so they fly planes into buildings for fucking fucks sake, is offensive to me. It’s a shocking sad indictment of the human race. How advanced we are.

We deny people medical treatment on the basis of religion, we deny them the chance to have their diseases cured because working with stem cells goes against their precious sensibilities, it’s madness.

The most uncaring, closed-minded, ignorant people are, in my experience, those who try and live by the teachings of a book written thousands of years ago. Their behaviour totally at odds with what their faith allegedy preaches. Religious fundamentalists are the most dangerous people on this planet.

God is a cunt. In all his guises. ‘His’ word has caused so much pain and misery and suffering in the world, and for what? Seriously, for what? Someone tell me.

So stick your fucking blasphemy clause up your hole, Dermot Ahern and anyone else who tries to make it part of our consitution.

I’ll blaspheme whoever the fuck I want.

Update: And one thing I forgot to mention – doesn’t this government have better fucking things to be doing at the moment?

Unemployment rising, the ESRI report saying that “Ireland was set to experience the sharpest fall in economic growth experienced by an industrialised country since the Great Depression”, banks insolvent, deflation, health cuts, education cuts, and everything else that’s wrong, and they’re wasting time on this?!

The perfect illustration of why FF must be obliterated in the local/european elections, and then in the next general election.