What a weekend it’s been. The local and European elections provided plenty of interest, even for somebody like me whose interest in politics isn’t all-consuming, by any means.

My main woman, Joan Collins and her shoulder pads, got elected in my local area. Go Joan!

On a European level it looks like it’s curtains for Declan Ganley as he failed with his bid to be elected in the North West and so far Libertas have won just one seat in the European parliament. That makes me very happy as the Libertas machine and its rampage of online advertising gave me and many websites a pain in the arse.

I rejoiced in seeing the witless Caroline Simons eliminated in Dublin and Libertas as a political entity is now essentially irrelevant.

It’s cheerio to Mary-Lou as well as the Shinners poison dwarf lost her European seat in Dublin. She’ll have all the time in the world to explain away her attendance record now. This also makes me happy.

Fianna Fail have suffered, as you would expect, in urban areas but have still managed to maintain some of their traditional vote in rural areas. It’s surely no less than they expected but it must hurt all the same. Bertie’s brother Maurice never came close to being elected in the Dublin Central by-election where Maureen O’Sullivan romped home. Ahern also lost his seat on Dublin City Council. Ha and indeed ha.

And the Greens, talk about paying the price. I wrote something a while back saying they’d suffer for their association with the most inept, crooked government of all time and so it has come to pass. They have been practically wiped out and it’s entirely their own fault. They had the chance, more than once, to show that they had some balls but they chose to stay in power and have now been kicked right in arse by the electorate.

They’ve lost all their council seats in Dublin, most of them around the country, and even the likes of Dan Boyle have blamed their association with FF for their poor results. The Greens were the easiest to punish for the failures of the government and they’ve taken the brunt of the backlash.

Senator Dan Boyle

Still, John Gormless won’t pull out of government though. I think he’s mad. At this point he could walk away, hold his hands up and say ‘We got it wrong, sorry’, and people would have a bit of respect for that. This desperation cling to what’s left of power is shameful and ever more damaging for the Greens. What’s left of them.

The most interesting part of the weekend for me though was how I got the information about the counts, who was in, who was out, etc etc.

Bar one period where I was in the car and listening to the radio all the breaking news I got has come via the web. Using Twitter and following people like Suzy and Alexia, lurking around and occasionally joining in with the liveblog and the RSS feed of the increasingly influential and important Irish Election.

We’re probably still very much in the minority but those of us who followed the events this way got our news first, we got testimony from people at the counts. We got reaction and opinion, speculation and punditry, we got video and audio, and we got it not on our radios or TVs or in newspapers but at our computers or on our phones.

It’s a big shift, an important shift, and for me the most interesting part of it was that the info came from people I trusted. People whose blogs I’ve read for years, who have earned the right to be believed, to be considered worthy and at times pivotal sources of information.

Where they have led this weekend you can be sure the mainstream will follow. They have to follow or they’ll get left behind.

So big congratulations to all of them and to everyone else who engaged them on Twitter, on their blogs, in comments and so on. It was collaborative and a big step forward for the web and its influence in Ireland.

Now, we just have to wait for the inevitable general election. That should be fun.

Imagine, they had been working on it for months, and this is the best picture they could get of Brian Cowen. Click for big.

He looks like he’s about to lick his fat lips seductively before slowing undressing and … no ….. no …. NOOOOOOOOOO.

***

And in light of Fianna Fail’s attempts to curry favour with bloggers, which hasn’t worked out to well for them, we have this (again click for big).

Patrick Cosgrave, Director of Rock the Vote, is still sending me emails when I have asked him time and time again to take me off their mailing list. They have ignored me and in the last 24 hours I’ve received a number of unsolicited press releases that I have no interest in.

I wonder if Rock the Vote’s financial backers gave them money to become spammers. How long before they try and sell us Rock the Vote generic Viagra or try to phish our bank details?

For further comment please contact Patrick Cosgrave on 01 642 5030 / 086 3711925 or email press@rockthevote.ie

On May 3rd I said:

Well done to Rock the Vote. They’ve made me want to not vote in protest. Stupid cunts. Without the question the worst thing I have ever seen.

Today I received an unsolicited email from press@rockthevote.ie, saying:

Hey guys,

The latest Rock the Vote video for your viewing…

Now, I would have thought that somebody who called you ’stupid cunts’ and said that your project was the worst thing they’d ever seen might not be the kind of person you want to spam to tell them there’s more of the worst thing they’ve ever seen.

This latest video features some half-witted, zany cunt called Frazier who needs his face introduced to wall. Repeatedly.

So, Rock the Vote, you pack of witless clits, stop fucking emailing me with your dreadful shite.

Honestly, Rock the Vote is worse that Ireland’s Eurovision entry this year. In fact, if this year’s entry had a baby with those two retarded gingers that were in it a couple of years ago it would be better than Rock the Vote.

Update: After sending an email to Rock the Vote telling them I didn’t care to receive any further emails about their terrible project I received this in reply:

Apologies. Your blog suggested you were interested. Call into the office at any point if you’re interested in inputting for the years to come. Call in after May 24th.

Fuck me, told you they were stupid.

Further update (Tuesday afternoon): They just emailed me again with a press release I don’t care about. That’s just too much now.

It’s gonna be awesome, isn’t it?

Enda “Man of the people” Kenny versus Bertie “Snivelling little shitebag” Ahern. I can’t wait. I think Enda has come along in leaps and bounds since he dyed that ginger right out of his hair and Bertie is showing the strain, big time. The bags under his eyes, the nervous twitches, the shuddering jowls and the knowledge that his campaign is floundering will see him go on the attack.

Enda Kenny: “…and that’s why the rainbow coalition is not just for fans of Barbara Streisand and musicals. It’s for everyone. The people of Ireland who need a change and who *thumps hand on podium* deserve a change!”

Bertie Ahern: “Your mum.”

Enda Kenny: “What?”

Bertie Ahern: *raises middle finger in well known gesture*. “Smell yer ma”. 

Enda Kenny: “It’s typical of this government that they reduce things to the lowest common denominator. Look at crime, it’s been reduced upwards. Hospital waiting lists, reduced upwards. House prices, reduced upwards.”

Bertie Ahern: “Yeah. That’s what you say.”

Enda Kenny: “That’s NOT what I say. Those are facts.”

Bertie Ahern: “Says who?”

Enda Kenny: “Says everyone.”

Bertie Ahern: “Yeah. Yeah. Where’s your proof?”

Enda Kenny: “The proof is all around you. The people waiting on trollies are your proof. The people killed by muderous criminals are your proof.”

Bertie Ahern: “Got any of that proof with you?”

Enda Kenny: “Well no, but-”

Bertie Ahern: “There you go then. You’re spoofing. Liar, liar pants on fire.”

Enda Kenny: “Now listen to me…”

Bertie Ahern: *puts fingers in ears, starts doing comedy walk around stage*. “La la la la laaaaaa. No proof. No proof. No proof. La la la la la laaaaa. Can’t hear you.” 

Enda Kenny: “This is nonsense.”

Bertie Ahern: “I know you are.”

Enda Kenny: “No, this whole situation is a farce.”

Bertie Ahern: “I know you are but what am I?”

Enda Kenny: *gets the ginger rage and punches Bertie in the nose*

Personally I think it should be mandatory for both of them to drink a couple of stiff whiskeys beforehand and by a couple I mean a pint. A couple of pints.

I haven’t looked forward to a TV program as much since Tales of the Gold Monkey.

So you too can welcome home murdering scum. The party that likes to party. Yeah.

Update: And don’t you just love the way the comments on that shinners’ blog are all ‘anonymous’?

Obviously under pressure Bertie Ahern hinted at something marvellous today when he met with Ian Paisley for a pint of Bass and a cheese sandwich at the site of the Battle of the Boyne today.

“History can make many turns”, he said.

Perhaps others weren’t paying as much attention as me but it’s obvious Fianna Fail have invented the Time Machine©. How else can history, which has already happened, make many turns?

After all the shite I bet this is the thing that’ll win him the election.

It’s about time somebody in the press gave that sly cunt a hard time. More please. He’s been given a free ride for the most part and his ignorant refusal to answer direct questions has been, for some reason, tolerated by press, the opposition, everyone.

Now that he’s on the trail make life as uncomfortable as possible for him. Sadly I just missed the local FF candidate last evening. He was out canvassing and I was just going out. I’m fucking sorry about it too.

I wanted to tell him how I’d never vote for his party because of Bertie Ahern, the poxy little fucker. After I got him to mow my lawn, of course.

video via Damien