I was in Fish Bar the other day. Getting fish. And some chips. And tasty it was too.
However, that’s not the point. The point is this young lad called Karl came in. I know his name was Karl because his mate called him Karl. And because he had the name Karl tattooed on the side of his neck, in a font that can only be described as a cross between Times New Roman, something really gothic and Comic Sans.
I’m not a fan of tattoos really but I can understand why people might want them. I struggle to understand anything above the neckline, however, and certainly not your own name.
Is it there in case your forget? You wake up one morning and think not only ‘Where the fuck am I?’ but ‘Who the fuck am I?’
‘Let me look in the mirror. Hurrah! I am Karl. Take that memory’.
Also, it struck me that this young man might very well be the kind of young man who might possibly engage in behaviours in which it would be best if nobody knew your name. Having it scrawled across your neck is not a good idea. Unless this was his way of avoiding a life of crime, knowing that he would have to kill every witness, ever, if he did do something bad.
Then, earlier, I stopped at Leonard’s Corner and crossing the road there was a bloke with his name on his neck. I couldn’t make it out because it was garnished with a giant angel’s wing. Just the one wing mind.
Anyway, my point is, neck tattoos. No. Especially ones with your own name.
It’s the Age of Stupid.
Maybe his name isn’t Karl. Maybe people just call him that because it’s tattooed on his neck.
More importantly, Ezio’s has really taken a dive under the new management, hasn’t it? Who thought scrawling special offers in six-year-old’s handwriting in black marker on fluorescent pink cardboard was a way to draw in the discerning foodies of Kimmage?
He woke up, looked in the mirror and discovered his name was Lrak.
No to all tattoos, horrible things.
Might have been a political statement.
heh crank
most footballers have tattoos now. haven’t been able to see any of the tattoos in detail, but think they probably read something along the lines of “property of manchester united. if found, please return to old trafford. do not feed”
plus, why do black people get tattoos? fair enough if they were done using tippex, but…
His Mother had it done when he was younger so that she could tell all her bastard kids apart.
Reminds me of the old penis tattoo joke.
I thought the same Crank. His parents should have named him Bob.
When I was three years old, my mum wrote my name on the inside of my duffle coat in case I got lost.
You can’t fault Karl’s mum when it comes to thoroughness.
True story – My parents gave me a really short name ‘cos they thought it would be easy for me to spell. Shows what high hopes they had.
He woke up, looked in the mirror and discovered his name was Lrak.
heh
Beery – yeah, the signage leaves something to be desired but Ezio’s pisses all over Capri. They are such cunts in there.
“No to all tattoos, horrible things.”
lol
He woke up, looked in the mirror and discovered his name was Lrak.
I really hope his girlfriends name isn’t Regina. And if it is, I hope she doesn’t have a swarthy complexion.
As a tattoo fan and with a heavily tattooed body – I haven’t gotten round to tattooing the neck or face yet. No plans to either
I did see a guy with a small “Hand Wash Only” cleaning tag tattooed to the back of his neck and you just cant beat the “——-CUT HERE——” on the oul neck
Note self: Close mouth when doing the shake after a piss.
HM – Get “Close Mouth” tattooed on yer lad…….
I’d like to spend a couple of weeks, no, make that months, reading the tats on Angelina Jolies tits and the ones on her other body parts as well.
“HM – Get “Close Mouth” tattooed on yer lad…….”
That’s too long.
Maltesers are evil cunts.
Probably not a fan of Erik ‘Lizardman’ Sprague so…
http://www.thelizardman.com/
More preposterously pithy painted people here. A good documentary, worth a look just for the american lion man, not for the sqeamish though…
http://www.indiemoviesonline.com/watch-movies/modify
Not in this territory, Icarus.
And that lizard guy, sad really.
Grotesque, tasteless, ignorant, tatooed peasants. Tatooes, always a bad sign.
”Not in this territory, Icarus”
Fuck them. Global village/economy my hole.
Get “Close Mouth” tattooed on yer lad…….
eh… no Ted.
(someone might take it literally)
Heh, Sniffle.
I’m surprised by how people can be so anti tatoo. It’s becoming as mainstream as piercing these days.
I think it’s the type of tattoos and the position of them. Do people forget they’ll old some day?
Friend of mine got a pretty buttefly tatoo when she was a teenager. Now in her fourtys, it looks like a purpely snot.
Zzzzzzzzzz Zzzzzzzzz
NO Jean Byrne NO!
Feel asleep during Evelyn Cusacks forecast there sorry.
A friend said her friend got a tat of a lock done over her crotch, with the intent that her eventual husband would get the key in the same place… and also to give the nurses in the nursing home something to gasp over when they were giving her a sponge bath :)
My friend was quite amusing about it, said, I dunno, it’s not like she’s never been unlocked before…
I think bad tats are deeply entertaining. But body modifcations are far far worse – all those lumpy people. Bleh!!
It’s better when they get Oriental characters on base of their spine, and don’t know what it means. It probably reads “no entry” in Chinese. Then when they are about to give birth, the Doctor tells them Sorry, I can’t give you an epidural to ease the pain, your tramp stamp is in the way.
off topic. Dare ya:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDlaJlb1ezg&feature=player_embedded
http://2.media.tumblr.com/K3mNGPhX1iu4u5jznrNes9u7o1_500.jpg
Heh!
http://vision02.com/wp-content/uploads/Audacious_Amputee_Tattoos_6.jpg
Ha, Ha, Har, Har…………..
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_bQ0SqifjNcg/Sq8rNNMtjsI/AAAAAAAADuc/GGTVio2oMNY/s400/gun-tattoo-4.jpg
Mc Carthy/Dundon, this guy shoots blanks.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bQ0SqifjNcg/Swd8LimFGmI/AAAAAAAAIeY/MyBYOZ2E3Pg/s400/head-tattoo-3.jpg
Remember the bald bearded guy with no chin? Gluey, this ones for you.
Right Slab, I won’t cut my toe nails so close after seeing that foot pic. On Failblog there’s a whole section devoted to twats who had too many pints, got a tattoo, then wake up to find their tattooist was barely literate, and can’t spell “system” or any word with letters in it. And they don’t wash off. Not even with battery acid. (or so I heard)
An American friend of mine once described Jacksonville, Florida as a hive of whitetrash where the tooth:tattoo ratio is about 1.
I might be a little late in on this but all tattoes are knackery. All of them.
neck tattoos are the sovereign rings of the twenty first century. the mark of a thourougbred knacker.
Fine Gael just like Fianna Fail.
http://www.independent.ie/national-news/td-who-cut-salary-in-half-gives-out-plum-jobs-to-family-members-2602054.html
Tattoo’s are one of those things you either love or hate Supergrover – does’nt make you a knacker because you have 1
Personally I love them – even the bad ones
What’s with the barcode tatoos? My phone has a barcode reader and I’m always tempted to ask, “Mister? Mister, can I scan your tatoo?’
But I’d be afeared of doing it and then asking, “Jaysus, is that the sale price?’
Yeah, fair enough, Dessie. Personal opinion only, I think they’re hideous and knackery but obviously I know plenty of people who have them and I don’t think they’re knackers, just that their tattoes are knackery. There’s a difference.
I think my big shark bite scar is much better than a tattoo any day. I have hours of entertainment explaining to curious people, especially the Ladies, how I came by it and how big the Shark was.
It’s the better class of greyhounds that have tattoos ….
http://eddieraysmoviereviews.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/totally-fake-shark-attack-jaws-2082557-450-307.jpg
Me and my pal Jaws, foolin around.
Former MP Jim Devine jailed for 16 months over expenses
Quite a hefty sentence!
Not all tatoos are knackery. Some are fuck hot and dirty. Oh yes.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_RUfmJE_QXhc/ShAT5DTiy3I/AAAAAAAABeQ/UqQvw1c1P3U/s400/the%252Brock%252Btattoo.jpg
I suppose it’s all about points of reference, what you see.
Oh well I’m stuck with my knackery tattoos now
1 of these days the suit will be complete
I’m not too fussy about them
Paul Gogarty just made me eat crisps.
‘..I’m not too fussy about them..’
Apparently they come in a series, DJ. Gas, ain’t it?
You have a very interesting and intriguing way of writing. You did not say much, but I was captivated enough to read your entire post.
Thanks for this … And your very insightful tweet on Amy Winehouse about Shame and Tragedy.
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