Things I have learned from the election campaign

Gerry Adams’ favourite word is ‘repudiate’, and like the rest of Sinn Féin has perfected the art of talking out of his hole. They make less sense than a Dan Brown book.

Despite the need for change a Fine Gael majority is scary.

John Gormley’s election posters have his personal URL on them and not the Green Party. Subtle disassociation will not work. I expect them to be wiped out completely.

Joan Collins says ‘pacific’ when she means ‘specific’. I’m sorry, but I can’t have any faith in somebody who can’t pronounce words to represent me or my interests.

Fianna Fail have mastered invisibility. Bar some high profile faces I haven’t seen any of them around.

Lots of people still don’t know who to vote for. There is no great belief that change will make things better, only a widespread acceptance that it’s all we’ve got.

We could probably pay off a large chunk of what we owed if the parties had come together and put their poster printing budget into a big pot. I’ve never seen so many.

Anghus O’Snodaigh looks like he’s made 43% pig.

A local Green candidate has the biggest gums I’ve ever seen. His name is in Irish and I can’t be arsed looking it up. The gummy twat.

Some of the independent candidates are clearly mental, and more mental they are the worse their flyers and pamphlets are. They can’t realistically have any hope of winning.

Anyone who makes an election song should be horsewhipped.

On Monday morning fuck all will change.

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42 Responses to Things I have learned from the election campaign

  1. Holemaster says:

    The Mario Rosenstock version of Vincent Browne is the only thing keeping me going.

  2. Twenty Major says:

    I only saw one of it and it’s probably the worst impression of anyone I’ve ever seen.

  3. Rapmachine No Diggidy No Doubt says:

    Anghus O’Snodaigh looks like he’s made 43% pig – LOL thats fuckign true

  4. sniffle says:

    joan burton ? ( or did I not get it ,,, again )

  5. kevtherev says:

    I got a leaflet from an independent and it was all about trying not to allow his dog ‘Rusty’ to run wild in mucky fields. All these fuckers are mental and yes you are bang on.. Come Monday morning … No Change

  6. Yep. Two wings of the one party state swapping around the trough. Never mind the pope will be over to kiss it all better next year.

    Better start saving the euros to pay off your 170,000euro per head debt to the ‘bondholders’. If you don’t want explodey then basically get saving. The bailout won’t pay for itself you know.

    Lenihan-2-390×285.jpg

  7. I’m sorely disappointed not to see more in the way of silly graphs in the media. We really are falling behind the rest of the world in the field of moronic election charts be they line, bar, pie or the rather saucy pendulum. I must have a word with my TD about it.

  8. The Beer Nut says:

    My favourite DSC independent is the one who looks like the Major from Fawlty Towers. I want to caption his posters with “Papers Here Yet?”

  9. Slab says:

    I can’t wait ’till Monday. I won’t have to listen to the cunts telling us porkies about how they would run the country. I’m looking foward to getting back to what we do best….. Moaning about the cunts who fuck us all up. Why can’t we have a fucking earthquake????

  10. Twenty Major says:

    haha, I think I know the one you mean

  11. peadar says:

    I only saw one of it and it’s probably the worst impression of anyone I’ve ever seen.

    fucking hell, do you like anything or anyone? ya contrary auld cunt.
    the browne sketches are very good. cause i said so

  12. christy says:

    I like the new reply thingy

  13. Slab says:

    I’m voting for Nobody. http://www.indymedia.ie/article/89964
    At least he’s honest.

  14. Anne says:

    I just thought of a good election song…..

  15. Silla says:

    When Joan Collins was in Dynasty , playing Alexis Colby Carrington Dexter, she had perfect diction and pronunciation.

    What happened????

  16. Silla says:

    I believe there is a guy running as an Independent in Crumlin whose manifesto is a sheet of drawings of his “inventions”.

    I kid you not!

  17. maggot says:

    Anghus O’Snodaigh looks like he’s made 43% pig.

    And Mr Garrison is his father ?

  18. Slab says:

    Just seen Enda running, http://www.finegael2011.com/game/
    Sweet Jesus, can they really be serious. This twat wants to be Taoiseach.
    Gadaffi looks more like a Taoiseach.

  19. Crank says:

    Ah no. Gadaffi looks like a pantomime dame. Enda looks like Buttons.

  20. Slab says:

    He’s certainly The Prized Clown

  21. Slab says:

    Baron Hardup needs to kick him up the jacksie

  22. Holemaster says:

    I think Gormless votes in the same place as me. Might wait for him to tell him I voted for nutjob independent instead of him.

  23. Silla says:

    Watched the Floozie being lowered into her new Jacuzzi this afternoon, in the Croppy park near Euston Station, this afternoon.
    Joe Duffy was there.

    I never liked that statue, and the fact that Smurfit was allowed to plonk it in O’Connell Street, courtesy of his good friend Charvet Haughey, didn’t allow me to look kindly on it. But it looked a lot better today, and the little park looked like a much better setting, even though I’ve never seen this park open. There’s usually a few likely lads drinking Dutch Gold on the benches outside, alright.

    Some kids standing on the railings watching the action started shouting
    “Joooooeee Duffy!”
    over and over, it was hilarious!

  24. Robert says:

    Brilliant and a half

  25. itchybollix says:

    maggot says:
    February 24, 2011 at 8:57 pm
    Heh!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en-GB&v=JHBQ2fu9ta8

    :)

  26. Robert says:

    ..this election is not so much a contest as a cuntfest

  27. Silla says:

    Philistines!

  28. Twenty Major says:

    Haven’t seen that

  29. Crank says:

    Only 6 hours to go until I can vote. I’m so excited I might burst. CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE!

    Yes We Can! Yes We Can! Yes We Can!

    *probably not…*

  30. Crank says:

    Yay! Only 3¾ hours to go!

    Vote early and often. With a ballot box in one hand and an Almanac in the other – Fianna Fail have been in power in this country for 61 of the last 79 years. Time to even up the score.

    VOTE — VOTE — VOTE — VOTE — VOTE — VOTE — VOTE — VOTE — VOTE

  31. maggot says:

    Some cunt in all seriousness has started a thread titles ” Vote FF…The patriots choice “

  32. GLUAISTEAN says:

    THE REVOLVING DOOR OF THE DAIL IS ONCE AGAIN SET IN MOTION – DEFINITELY A CASE, NOT OF GIGO, BUT OF CICO…. I CAN ALMOST FEEL SORRY FOR YOU LOT STUCK OVER THERE -BUT THEN I REMEMBER THE JEERERS WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT THEY WERE THE GREAT FELLA’S FOR BEING IN THE LAND OF THE CELTIC TIGER,
    AND I START LAUGHING MY ASS OFF.

  33. Johnnie390 says:

    How are tings in Donnie Carnie??

  34. murty says:

    It’s normal that people don’t know who to vote for – there are no convincing stand-out candidates. If there were any the government wouldn’t have lasted
    as long as it did because people would have demanded change. Why would you drive a clapped out old banger if you have a shiny new beemer in the garage
    with a tankful of petrol? You wouldn’t. But if the car in the garage is another clapped out old banger in a different colour you wouldn’t be in such a rush.

  35. jean says:

    I’m in that constituency too – his name’s Noel Francis Bennet. No photo of him on the ballot sheet, no information anywhere online except for this:
    http://www.broadsheet.ie/2011/02/24/now-thats-an-election-leaflet/

    13 handwritten & photocopied pages! I’m gutted I didn’t get a copy.

  36. twunty says:

    It’s always wise when criticising somebody for bad spelling or grammar to check your own spelling. It gives you a little bit of stature.

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