So Mickey Martin gets the job and he is Top of the Cunts
*cue Yellow Pearl*
I have to admit I care as much about this as I do his sister Linda’s many Eurovision attempts. With any luck the people will have their say in the election and FF will become little more than a minor irrelevance in the next few years.
Frankly I’ve got bigger fish to fry. There’s a patch on my right shin that never, ever gets wet when I shower. I don’t know why that is but it remains unsoaked, the hairs on my leg crisp and dry. They would go up in flames even in the midsts of my cleansing.
Perhaps this is my superpower. Has-a-dry-bit-on-his-shin Man.
That would be fuckin typical.
No idea whatsoever as to how to respond to this news of your arid shin. None. Perhaps you could somehow save Queensland with it.
MMartin is Linda Martin’s brother? Really? If that’s true, it unsettles me, somehow.
First in, fuckers!
*Does the (lonely) first in dance*
My superpower must be based on belly button fluff. It is quite something to behold.
My superpower is based upon talking absolute shit and getting it right 1% of the time
E.g. “I told you Ruby/SG in the pub that Ivan Yates business is going to go wallop.”
“Correct itchybollix, but you also told us 99 other things that night which were completely wrong.”
” Ah fuck off”
I used to get away with it
As for Micheal Martin; I like the headline twenty. He can come around to my place and debate anytime with my Dunlop Teniis Racquet. The new head of the most financially and moral corrup bunch of horrible cunts wants a debate.
Still no arrests. Debate that you fuck.
When a river steamer’s engines have broken down due to incompetence and the crowded boat is drifting uncontrollably towards a high waterfall, do we actually care if they change the captain?
Do we fuck.
Plays theme from Huck Finn*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCRiLyL0koc
Heh – Twenty. I have the same thing on my right shin. It’s a small patch about half-way down. Bizarre. I always thought it was something to do with my knee diverting the water to the side or something.
An ability to debate does not equate to an ability to run a country. I would stay away from that if I was the rest of them.
He’s trying to turn it into ‘Taoiseach Idol’
or the T-Factor… or I’m a Taoiseach Let me in there!
Dear 20 majors,
Last night, the Fianna Fáil Árd Chomhairle did me the honour of electing me Úachtarán Fhianna Fáil.
This Party has a unique and positive role to play in our country’s future. Under my leadership, Fianna Fáil will be clear in its approach to the urgent issues of today and in the path it proposes for the future. With the right policies Ireland can and will come through this crisis.
At these difficult times, our country needs an election which is as serious as the issues we must tackle. This can only happen if the leaders of the parties show a real commitment to moving away from political business as usual.
I will be initiating a full national tour in order to take our message to every part of the country. To you, our supporters, I ask you to work to ensure that Fianna Fáil candidates are elected in this, one of the most important election campaigns in our nation’s history.
I know the task ahead will not be easy.
But I have never shrunk from difficult decisions before, and I promise you that we will meet this challenge with a campaign as vigorous and full of ideas as any Fianna Fáil has ever waged.
Ar aghaidh le Fianna Fáil.
Micheál.
Micheál Martin TD.
Úachtarán Fhianna Fáil
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Micheal Martin served as Minister for Education and Science (1997–2000), Minister for Health and Children (2000–04), |Minister for Enterprise, Trade and Employment (2004–08) and Minister for Foreign Affairs (2008–11).
Its a bit late to be coming up with vigorous ideas now Micheal.
Your party owes the Irish people at least 34billion euros for keeping the books closed on Anglo-Irish Bank alone.
The invoice for that little caper will be presented for immediate payment on 25th February if confirmed as election date.
Thank you
Oh no, you have an Achilles Shin!
This is also known as Shinguarditis (Shinféinitis in Irish) – never, ever let sunlight fall on it.
I thought i was alone! brothers of Shinguarditis coem together!
Dear Con,
I apologised for that in my inauguration speech .
Again, I’m sorry Con.
We are where we are though, and I’m looking for your support in the coming weeks and your #1 on Feb 24th .
Ar aghaidh le Fianna Fáil.
Micheál.
Micheál Martin TD.
Úachtarán Fhianna Fáil
Heh heh, steamer, heh heh.
My superpower is my sense of direction. I am SenseOfDirectionMan and my cape looks like the big arrows ball on the exit for Naas.
“Oh no, we’re in Lucan without a sat nav, if only SenseOfDirectionMan was here.”
De de dehhh… “Do not fear, SODM is here, how can I help?”
“We’re trying to get home from the shops. We’ve lived here for ten years and we still get lost after the third roundabout”
“Sorry people, even I cannot find my way in Lucan, it’s roads are my cryponite”
Just above and to the right of my Adams apple, there’s a 2” circular patch where no hair grows anymore – no shaving required – just happened recently.
So, 2”-circular-patch-alopecia-throat-man
But HM, you’ll be known as Sod’m Man to the citizens of Gomorrah (aka West Dublin).
I have a horrible feeling that this will actually salvage a few seats for FF. Not amongst those that weren’t going to vote for them anyways, but some of the waverer’s amongst the previously FF voters will be swayed back into the fold.
“Sure, he’s apologies, he’s a lovely man, I’ll vote for them with him in charge…”. I heard one potential voter in Cork today describe him as a “lovely affable man”, as if it was a point in his favour for public office.
I’ll take the efficient, un-corruptible cunt who does more than fix potholes every time, thanks.
My own superpower is an inante ability to sense changes in barometric pressure. That would make me Barometer Man… and Jean Byrne could be my Lois Lane….
Holemaster – SODM? Really? You’d want to be careful with that one.
I was wondering if anyone would pick up on that. Well done people.
Ah, you can count on me.
Sod’em and Begorrah – the NAMA play.
I’m “Weird Hair In The Morning” Man
@ jo – re your huck finn comments – that’s the new “improved” edition ?
Heh – Twenty. I have the same thing on my right shin. It’s a small patch about half-way down.
Yep.
Not only is my super power crap, it’s not even unique
Why would anyone want to vote for the b*****d who brought in the anti-smoking laws ?
I think everyone is getting upset for nothing. Michéal has apologised, we can put everything behind us. It was a mistake but it never happened and we can move on.
Should a Fianna Fáil canvasser appear at your door, you are now entitled to do a ‘kick Bishop Brennan up the arse’. Immediately apologise and it never happened and they can move on – to the next house. Repeat as necessary.
My superpower is attracting bluebottles. Huge big hairy fuckers. Even in winter. In the snow. Indoors.
Could be worse I suppose. Could be blue balls.
The FFers are going to send elderly people out canvassing. Wait and see.
Excellent- lets’s see who these FFrs are in local areas.
Fvck that… I ain’t canvassing for those pricks
Use mobile phone video record facility for FF canvassers.
If they are elderly it works like garlic on a vampire.
Old people’s only enemy in the jungle- modernfangled technology. They’d hate it.
my superpowr is sweaty wrist man, oh ya and fuck finna fail
“his sister Linda”- no relation twenty, although apparently Linda Martin is a cunt too. To hear Twink tell it, anyway.
DID ANYONE HEAR THAT FUCKING SOCIOPATH THERE?
sorry, uncap
Bertie Ahern is comparing the Quatar building football stadiums to irelands not building one (in his fucking name)
Eh
QUATAR HAS FUCKING OIL YOU FUCKING CUNT!
And even if we did have oil, we wouldn’t get a penny for it.
Yeah, I heard that Itchy. Right after a passer by tore stips off him and Bertie’s reaction was, “Ah, there’s alsways people hanging around here [outside the Dáil] trying to get themselves on television.”
That’s him in a nutshell, undermine the validity of the complaint and score a point off the complainant – never deal with the substance.
He also said, “I wish someone had told me what was going on in the banks.”
That “someone” wouldn’t be Cowen, or Seanie, or Geary, or Drumm or Sheehy, or Fingleton, would it? Folks with pensions as gold-plated as his own.
You carry the umbrella man gene – same as the elephant man gene but with functionality.
As a superhero I would be Wake-Up-20-Minutes-Before-The-Alarm-Goes-Off Man.
It’s an unnatural talent. Just too long a time to get up and too short a time to roll over and go back to sleep without worrying about the fecking alarm going off.
Either that or Inappropriate-Hyphen Man.
Lung, that’s a great one.
I’d like to be ‘GoesAsleepStraightAwayMan’
“Oh no, if only…ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
My superpower would be as NiceMan. I’d nip into a telephone box and emerge liking humanity.
I’m delighted to see that Bertie Ahern is bitter and jealous, and the way he spoke of that woman is typical, and rervealed more than he wanted about the contempt he has for ALL of us, cos we didn’t appreciate him, dontchaknow, nor did we allow him his pet project, the Bertie Bowl, that would have seen his name immortalised in Dublin.
Twenty, that dry patch means you’re going into male menopause.
HRT is the man for you.
Either that or you’ve been abducted, probed, skin sampled. and returned to Dirty Dave’s without you noticing.
On Bertie’s Team
http://irishelectionliterature.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/mmartin07a1.jpg
One way for Michéal Martin and Fíanna Fáil to rescue themselves at the forthcoming election might be to adopt (and adapt) the electioneering tactics that Peter Cook’s character E.L. Wisty developed for “The World Domination League” :
I’ve had some wonderful ideas for getting the dominating going. I’ve got some extremely subtle advertising slogans that should get the public behind us. Things like “Vote for [us]and lovely nude ladies will come and dance with you.” It’s a complete lie, of course, but you can’t afford to be too scrupulous if you’re going to dominate the world.
Probably wouldn’t work for the gay vote and most women voters (but might work for the lesbian vote). Still, you can’t please everyone.