Monthly Archives: December 2010
Polls and the future
So FF are behind Sinn Fein in the latest poll. Hardly a surprise is it? I suspect an Ian Huntley – Gary Glitter coalition could do better than them at this stage. Yet amidst all this our future remains so … Continue reading
Snow myths
I don’t believe that thing about no two snowflakes being the same. I saw two identical ones just five minutes ago when I was going out to rev up the H50. People just aren’t looking closely enough. Then there’s that … Continue reading
The Greens come clean
From their Twitter, click for big. [photopress:greentweet.jpg,thumb,pp_image] Sums them up exactly. Out to further their own agenda and they have done so at the expense of the rest of us. The arrogance of that is just stunning. Obviously they had … Continue reading
The machines would spoil it
“You know what, Twenty”, said Dirty Dave, “I can’t wait for this upcoming election to show that lot in Fianna Fail what I really think of them”. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah. I’m going to vote them out!” “Vote them out, you … Continue reading
“You know what, Twenty”, said Dirty Dave, “I can’t wait for this upcoming election to show that lot in Fianna Fail what I really think of them”.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m going to vote them out!”
“Vote them out, you say?”
“Yes indeed. I’m going to show that tub of lard Cowen, yer man who owns the hardware shop in Rathmines, whatserface who looks like a mare with lipstick, and the Ahern brothers, that we won’t forget what they’ve done to this country and by the power of Greyskull we won’t let them forget it”.
“So who are you going to vote for then?”
“What do you mean? I just told you. I’m voting Fianna Fail out”.
“Yes but vote them out you have to vote somebody else in”.
“Really?”
“Well, yes. Really. So, are you going to vote for Fine Gael?”
“Enda Kenny. Are you mad? He got the leadership skills of the reverse Pied Piper. And he talks through his nose”.
“Labour?”
“Don’t think so. I mean Joan Burton is sexy and all but so is Kathy Bates and that’s no reason to go watch a Kathy Bates film, is it? And anyway, Pat Gilmore or Eamon Rabbitte just don’t do it for me. They’re like xFactor contestants. They sound good until you turn the AutoTune off and then you realise the noises they make are actually off-key and annoying”.
“The Greens then?”
“No way. Firstly, I don’t like how they call themselves Green and claim to be environmentmongers when we all know it’s a cloak for their rampant republicanism. Secondly, John Gormley is a Jesuit and I had bad experiences with them in my time. And thirdly, I want to beat Eamon Ryan’s face in with a pair of Converse. Not happening”.
“Sinn Fein”.
“That’s like asking you if you’d vote Damien Rice”.
“Fair point. An independent candidate then?”
“Well, I’d have to assess them on their merits but a poltician that is such a Johnny-no-mates that he can’t even get into one party is dodgy to me. It’s hardly as if they have stringest entry rules, is it? I mean if Paul Gogarty can be accepted into one then any half-witted spacker can. Untrustworthy”.
“Leaves you in a bit of a predicament then, doesn’t it?”
“I suppose it does. I’ll just have to fall back on the old reliable”.
“What’s that?”
“Drawing a great big cock, with lumpen hairy balls, on the ballot sheet”
“Democracy at work”, I said, practising my cock drawing on a beermat.