Snow might look pretty but the reality is that unless you’re the kind of cunt who wants to go fast down a mountain with two sticks attatched to your feet it’s fucking useless.
Snow should be banned from all urban areas at once. Those who believe in God might ask why it is he’s made it so difficult to get to the supermarket. If he really did love you he wouldn’t have made you fall over, crack your elbow and spend 13 hours in the emergency room without being seen.
Snow is for the countryside, for hills and mountains, and those who choose to live amidst such savagery have no cause for complaint. Those of us who choose to dwell in a once thriving metropolis deserve better. Why, when times were good, did we not install undersoil heating the length and breadth of the city? Snow can’t stick if the ground is 24C.
Short-term thinking once again and yet another reason why both FF and the Greens should not only be voted out of government but be executed as a warning to the designate adminstration that no similar lapses in judgement will be tolerated.
I am not dreaming of a white christmas. Not unless you mean a white russian christmas and even then they’re not exactly white but a more beige hue.
My Honda 50 doesn’t do well in the snow despite my exceptional ninjacat balance. The games of football via which I can vent my frustration and aggression are cancelled. It’s quite likely that I will go on a rampage around Clery’s with a 3-iron.
And there’s little sign of it stopping. Is this what it’s going to be like from now on? I hope not. No wonder the Finnish are world leaders in killing themselves.
It’s inhuman.
Snow is not only for hills and countryside, it’s also for RTE *stars*.
Edinburgh – there is underground heating on the Mound. No vile comments please.
Inhuman. Pfft.
It’s a pain in the ass this week, though, yes, my Christmas Eve plans are spoiled.
I have one 7 year old Scrooge as well, who is making it all far more difficult. Where’s the apple cheeks, carols and sledding I expected from winter parenthood??
Football on Ice – an interesting thought. Adidas skates.
Just as ambulances are yellow these days. Otherwise I was brown bread earlier.
Can you believe people cycling in this?
i love it. falling over twice hasnt been fun and driving is a pain (anyone else noticed how inefficient your miles per gallon becomes driving on snow and ice?) but i still like looking at it.
I saw a chinese dude cycling on one of those fold-up bicycles with the two small wheels HM. He did a great job; looked like he was well used to it.
HM I’ve been wondering about that too … last winter in all the ice there were lads going around delivering pizzas on those light little mopeds.
I have seen people cycling through London across slippery junctions and all sorts …
Mind you it is great entertainment watching them fall off and then get up with a shocked expression as if it never occurred to them the ice might be for them.
Its not inhuman, black bolt is though
took a snap of me bollix this a.m.
http://i53.tinypic.com/ngvgis.jpg
blue with the cold itchy
Surprised your blog hasn’t been shut down for a couple days.
What we really need is those domes over cities we always used to read would be everywhere by 2002. It would be absolutely brilliant, we would be living in a giant greenhouse with no rain, snow, hale. Just drop some fans on the side of it to blow fresh air in and move it around. Brilliant. Another massive failure on FF’s account.
Does the cold ease the itchiness Itchy?
Fuck football, here’s a new hobby for ya:
http://blog.modernmechanix.com/mags/qf/c/PopularMechanics/2-1950/med_motorcycle_skis.jpg
“Can you believe people cycling in this?”
Reminds me of a great epitaph:
Here lies John
John is gone
John’s bike stopped
But John went on.
Global warming, bitchez!
Snow is great as a short novelty, or long term in a country equipped for it. It’s this inbetweeny thing that shouldn’t be allowed. Like mochachino
it does christy.
do you think I should change my nick or explain my nick?
Em. I don’t really suffer from an itchy bollix. I’m just kinda fixated by them
Having an itchy bollix is no different from having an itchy anything else.
If it itches, scratch it. Doesn’t matter where you are.
C’mon itchy – be honest, peadar gave you crabs.
It’s a veritable winter wonderland out this way. Pure white snow everywhere. A thing of singular beauty. Still coming down, lovely big fat lazy flakes of the stuff.
It’s forced me to cancel plans to go in to town and do some Christmas shopping though.
Oh well, I’ll just have to take to the couch for the afternoon.
i’m going down the local when (if?) i get home. with any luck, i’ll be snowed in there
Despite Snowmageddon, the Roma beggar is still camped out down the street.
I don’t have anything against roma beggars but the one time I did meet them in town…think it was after we went to see Enron The Miusical, which incidently flopped on Broadway, (YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH AMERICAN SWINE, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT INVOLVES SINGING AND DANCING AT YOU!”) anyhow. where was I.
Romanian beggar lady. I gave her money when I was standing outside McDaids with my friend who smokes. She then appeared at Grogans where I told her “No; I gave you cash already” She was not happy. And then again when standing outside Bruxelles. She needs to go on a customer realtionship management course.
85,000 of 4,000,0000 speak Irish, The government paper designed to promote the use of Irish, spoken by 2% of the population gets headline treatment on RTE and launched by BIFFO.
What the fuck? Aren’t there more important things. Oh. I forgot. The people who run this shithole, teachers and cops, speak Irish.
What a load of fucking cock.
Ah, snow, snow, snow!
On the South side of Dublin, we are up to our oxters in the stuff, and everything has ground to a halt.
No traffic, no one in the shops, no buses, no one walking, cycling, nothing.
I kinda like it.
I know it’s alright for me to say that, if I had small kids to organize for Crimbo, I’d be freaking.
I spent the morning feeding birds in the garden, please remember the poor fuckers and give them a drink of water, if you can.
Jo, my son was known as Ebenezer for years, cos he was a miserable git every Christmas.
I’m happy to say he grew out of it!
How is the water in Dublin now? Back on properly or still rationed?
http://dublincity.wordpress.com/
Holy shit, there’s a blizzard going on.
This is freaky, Mr. Silla went to Aldi in the jeep, and by the time he came out, about ten minutes, the windscreen had frozen over.
The temperature is really really low for daytime, so if you’re in work, folks, leave early to get home.
fuck it on me way for stout
Clicked on the Blogroll link to Conan … “This blog is open to invited readers only”. What kind of having it’s period Queen is this? Talk about up himself!
Got in trouble when I was a kid for buying presents all in one stop at the post office counter.
Premium Bonds for Mr and Mrs Focker and Sweepstakes tickets for brother and sister.
Nobody seemed too happy about it but its the thought (and not having to shop very far) that counts.
Snow. Getting a bit old now alright. I never thought I’d be looking forward to fucking rain. Rain, rain, lovely rain. We miss you.
And still all round me people are getting off work because of the snow and I’m here working away as usual. Stupid self-employed bastard fucktard.
soon to be having pints as black as goose shit
Crank, my heart bleeds!
Joe Duffy talking to some eejit about a book what he wrote about talking mice, fascinating!
Obviously that’s the most important thing in the world today, at least in RTE Land.
Sleeveen bastards!
I was listening to those limerick guys who have the song about the horse this a.m. Silla and they said that on their tv programme tonight they’re going to give Joe Duffy his “medicine”.
Hopefully it’s a laxative. Or Gorbys’, those wall-melting trips from the 90′s. allegedly.
Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful.
And there’s really no place to go,
So let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
Fuck off Silla.
Sigh, fingers crossed, Silla.
Now, we wait and see if the gas delivery arrives…
I was a right little bollix as a kid too Jo and turned out to be a well rounded individual.
But are you happy, itchy?
And did your mother survive intact?
nobody is happy all the time unless they’re in the loony bin on qualudes all day.
20% of the time unhappy
60% of the time content
10% of the time happy
10% of the time off me tits
I find that a good proportion to aim at.
second part – yep
‘Is this what winter’s going to be like from now on?’
Most probably yes. Or no. Depending. It’s a bit like how we didn’t actually have the IMF or the ECB over visiting. Until we did. Or like how some priests weren’t actually raping the children. Until they were. Or how the banks structures were sound. Until they weren’t. So the same applies here: we don’t actually get enough white stuff to call it an emergency. Until we do. Did. Have. Are. Oh, and you won’t be needing any under-pavement heating to melt it either. Until you do. Is it too late to stop and get off this boat?
You’d get a much better divot with a pitching wedge.
80% of the time happy
10% of the time freaked
10% of the time stressed
Oh. My. Go. It’s pissing snow outside again everybody. Look! Look!
I was a right little bollix as a kid too Jo and turned out to be a well rounded individual.
…and if you believe that, you’ll believe anything!
Course, you’ll survive it, Jo, but intact?
Well, that’s a different story.
Seriously, Jo, some day you’ll look back and it will all seem like a really bad dream.
A very, very, very, long bad dream.
There are compensations – not sure if this works for the gals – you can piss your name in it. Late night beer drinking outside the back, then taking a creative slash – the “H” is difficult – wish my name was Zorro – great wandy name
There are compensations – not sure if this works for the gals – you can piss your name in it.
And therein lies the difference between the sexes: One worried about the psychological effect children have on a parent, the other wishing to change their name so it’s easier to piss it in the snow.
It is truly what keeps the human race going.
I have Phil tattooed on me mickey sniffle. When I’m happy it reads Philadelphia
*gets his coat
30% Happy
50% Stressed
60% Worried
You should be on a reality show, HM, they always give 120%.
And they can’t add, either.
Peninsula Ireland are anti-employee cunts:
http://www.independent.ie/national-news/christmas-holiday-too-long-say-workers-2469286.html
Every single survey they do is purely for getting news coverage and cheap nasty PR for themselves. And all their surveys are thinly veiled anti-employee guff.
That’s not so good, HM, your percentages. Not gonna think about mine right now.
80% congested, though. I broke down today and bought Sudafed.
Stupid school has got in the way of playing in the snow. Some sliding, tomorrow, hopefully.
Ah I’m a lot more than 30% happy. Only kidding. I was being drole, hence the greater than 100% total (in case anyone didn’t catch that) *cough silla*
Which reminds me. I really detest people who demand 110% of something or someone.
100% is the total.
I agree, HM, I also hate this “going forward” business.
The act of going needs no further elaboration, by it’s very nature, if you’re going, you are going forward, unless you’re going backwards, which is a whole different thing.
Also, pro-active is a stupid phrase, as active is quite sufficient on it’s own, the pro is superfluous.
It’s the Americanization of Europe, I hate it.
My favourite, though, is “burglarised”, as in, “My house was burglarised.”
Give me strength!!
Silla,
“It’s the Americanization of Europe, I hate it.”
Mentioned it already. Welcome to the club.
Schoene Gruesse aus Europa (Festland).
Silla wait until you hear an American tell you that they ‘elevatorized’ down to the ground floor …
Never mind Iraq and Afghanistan and so on they should be up at Nuremberg for that alone.
The Hague isn’t big enough.
Aint global warming nice? Keeps the glaciers at bay. Here’s a tip for all of yous, don’t eat yellow snow.
Jayaua, the lakes of Killarney are frozen!
They have been winterized!
Should have read, “jaysus”.
I have been idiotized.
Cap, Americans tell me nothing, I never speak to them.
I just can’t dumb down far enough.
Silla, duh.
My mother was American. She was quite astute and deep thinking. C’mon, for god’s sake.
Prefer to call americans yankees, gringos or just ole halfwits.
I don’t actually know any Americans, Jo, my opinion is purely based on TV and books, and is therefore completely imagined, wholly biased and has no basis in fact.
My friends tell me the same as you, it’s a pity we never see this side of them in popular culture.
I suppose it’s the same thing as other nationalities thinking we Irish are leprechauny and all live in a backward, corrupt, diddley island…
Oh.
Jo was she from east coast or west coast? Because thats where they store the educated ones.
Silla,
“I don’t actually know any Americans, Jo, my opinion is purely based on TV and books, and is therefore completely imagined, wholly biased and has no basis in fact.”
Surely you watch the news??
Yes, I watch the news, but imagine anyone judging us lot by watching the news????
They’d think we’re all thick ignorant crooks, and we may be bad, but you know we;re not that bad.
Another one is ‘misremembered’. A handy new word for people who lied their ass off at first and then pretended that they forget the details.
Oh and ‘redacted’ – in other words ‘blanked out’ so our lies aren’t exposed and can’t get sued or sent to jail for being fucking fucktards.
I like discombobulated though. Never use it but I like it
“If he really did love you he wouldn’t have made you fall over, crack your elbow and spend 13 hours in the emergency room without being seen.”
The lord doth work in mysterious ways Twenty. It might have been for your own good.
Exactly Anne – but for that fall he might have been abducted by aliens, given an anal probe, forcibly converted to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and become a FF voter.
“Clicked on the Blogroll link to Conan … “This blog is open to invited readers only”. What kind of having it’s period Queen is this? Talk about up himself!”
Exactly, Tony. I’d have replied earlier but I was digging apostrophes out of snow drift’s.
haha, Conan
I remain unprobed thank you, Maggot/Anne.
“I remain unprobed thank you, Maggot/Anne.” That can be arranged Twenty.. I’ve read there’s a lot of pleasure to be gotten from those nether regions.
Oh oh, oh oh, down with that sort of thing Anne. If Twenty wanted s*x to be mentioned, well by golly he’d have set up a s*x blog wouldn’t he now Anne, you dirty filthy munty from Limerick with a horse outside yeeehaaaww.
He didn’t twitch at the Jehovah Witness bit or voting FF.
He’s been probed!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OCcQxsfTkk
i’m heading down to the hill with me video cmaera. stay tuned for crazy footage of driving as follows.
queue of traffic at bottom of the hill coming into donabate village getting ready to make a run at getting up the hill
first car revs up, there’s a dude at the bottom of the hill who gives you the ok to make a run at like at the start of a drag race.
and makes a run at the hill, and if you’re like me doing it :) you’re shouting C’CON YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKERGETUP THEFUCK
and you make it and at the crest of the hill you, like me are shouting WOOOOHOOOOO! YEAH!
and then you drive into your car parking space and some cunt is in it and you get stuck in a snowdrift. after 3 1/2 hours on the m50 and m1 and belfast road and hearse road you fall at the last ‘cos some cunt is in your parking space.
jesus i’m fucking exhausted, what a fucking driving experience from hell
looked like 1 out of 5 not making it up the hill and sliding back down.
10% happy
90% naked
Heh. Backwards sliding buses are a bit unnerving in an Austin Powers steam roller scene kind of way.
VUN Herr Lenihan … zere is only VUN Herr Lenihan… Vun Herr Leeeennnnnihan- zere is only vun Herr Lenihan.
Mein Gott I am pissed. SILENCE! I fight you all. Come on zen you mutterfockers … scheisse vere are mein keys?
Christmas tree is sparkling away, nice snowy scene outside the window with loads of snow covered roofs and trees, a warm glowing turf fire, presents wrapped and a warmed glass of brandy.
Nice.
“Snow might look pretty but the reality is that unless you’re the kind of cunt who wants to go fast down a mountain with two sticks attatched to your feet it’s fucking useless.”
Too right. Going fast down a mountain on two wheels is way more fun. Pretty shit in the snow though.
Cycling in the snow: Holemaster would you rather have 45 minutes of kinda-scary-but-kinda-fun getting home from work on the bike, or 3 – 4 hours of unimaginable frustration in the car?
i’m not budging, worn out, now know what a F1 driver feels like after 3 plus hours of intense driving, at 20 mph. i’ll take footage of that scene tomorrow,
pass the bottle there hm.
VSOP or XO?
fuck it. thanks anyway
http://i52.tinypic.com/2q0mt6s.jpg
I think you can have over the 100% with the naked/happy equation, surely? It must be possible to be 100% naked AND 100% happy, I hate to think otherwise.
My mother once said (I’m sure I’ve said this before), in response to Madonna’s statement thateven stupid British people are cleverer than most Americans – oh, Jo, you don’t realise how stupid Americans can be.
But that doesn’t mean that the intelligent ones aren’t great.
As per above, I’d hate to be judged and written off by someone who’d only met Anto the Knacker or Brian the Clown. That’s a horrible thought, isn’t it? That Lost In Europe video must have lowered our stock when it hit Youtube.
Silla,
“They’d think we’re all thick ignorant crooks, and we may be bad, but you know we;re not that bad.”
Indeed the yankees are badly educated, world-naïve and a threat to world peace.
The European nation-state is dead – long Live Europe!
Enuff for now, time for a cognac. :)
Just for you Silla my love:
http://homebuying.about.com/od/buyingahome/qt/92607_WinterHom.htm
And sniffle, the most imporant thing about writing your name in the snow is remembering to dot the ‘i’s right at the end.
No personal offence intended Jo … I have worked in the states and like a lot of people cannot reconcile the nice Americans I meet with the great herd of morons in the middle.
They can’t help it given the state of their media and a consumer culture which just breeds cattle rather than discerning people … lad from the Canadian embassy once told me that they have a map on the wall in the embassy in London which shows a physical map of the North American continent with a red stripe down both coasts and in thos sections it says ‘future Canadian empire’ and in the blue bit in the midwest from the Lakes down to the Gulf of Mexico is entitled ‘Jesus Country’!
I’m still wearing socks Jo, but I’m a miserable grinch this time of year.
There, that’s better than admitting I didn’t quite think that comment through before typing.
The most interesting thing about this post is “Twenty you ride a Fifty” Magic bet you have some great shaggin stories on that one.