Snow myths

I don’t believe that thing about no two snowflakes being the same.

I saw two identical ones just five minutes ago when I was going out to rev up the H50. People just aren’t looking closely enough.

Then there’s that other snow myth that if you bury somebody in snow they freeze to death … erm … myth, yes.

It looks as if we’re going to be snowed in though. Or at least snowed to the point where we don’t want to go out. A checklist is required:

Booze – check

Delicious Major – check

Flour – check

Yeast – check

Tomatoes – check

Mozarella – check

Various meats for putting on top of the flour, once it’s been made dough, tomato sauce and cheese – check

Entertainment – tv, check, PS3, check, torrents download films, check

Everything seems to be in order then. See you on the other side.

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76 Responses to Snow myths

  1. Extra lighters. Cangles. Pleasantly plump woman who doesn’t talk much. Bingo.

  2. Holemaster says:

    Hmmm.

  3. Holemaster says:

    A woman who doesn’t talk much? Do they exist?

  4. on the dry says:

    lady as thin as karen carpenter check

  5. Crank says:

    Lady as thin as Karen Carpenter who doesn’t talk much – check. (They do exist, really). Lucky me.

  6. Alfie says:

    Get a couple of rough cut tyres, or some cheap chains, put them on the drive wheels, or let a bit of air out of those stupid slick tyres that make drivers think they’re on the F1 Circuit.

    A day late getting back into London, but getting loaded with necessary supplies of DIY flooring, to go to Dorset, this could be interesting, there is no motorways in Dorset, be alright if I get marooned near one them country pubs,storeys about black dog, big cats, and what became of the last driver to stray of the beaten track, and ask a pint of that dodgy looking black shit.

  7. Russell Brand - (the baldy red-headed one) says:

    A woman. full stop

  8. Des says:

    what you got for the PS3?

    Like em pleasantly plump also, surf the waves!

  9. on the dry says:

    she has to have a fanny like a mouses ear

  10. itchybollix says:

    Russia and FIFA walk into a bar. The barman hands over the cut. What a corriupt shithole of a planet we live in.

    (forgot to change my name back earlier, sorry)

  11. Holemaster says:

    Cheese stuck in it?

  12. They say that if Mama Cass had shared her chicken sandwich with Karen Carpenter, they’d both be alive today.

  13. Christy says:

    Good list. *adds hot baths and hot chocolate*

    And a man who: laughs and plays, talks wisely, jokes stupidly, respects own time and space for both, and bears no physical resemblance to a dying anorexic. Also, must have traits of a human hot water bottle. Too picky?

  14. itchybollix says:

    Is that dude from the AA, Conor Faughnan?, is he a signed up member of Fianna Fail ‘cos he’s talking total bollix. “Roads are gritted, they’re doing a great job”

    ?

  15. Des says:

    he has shares in the AA

  16. itchybollix says:

    Read this last night on the way home, enjoyed it in most part

    http://www.ft.com/cms/s/2/db51065a-dbf1-11df-af09-00144feabdc0.html#axzz16yQ38m1y

  17. Things have got bad since the Asgard went down in the Bay of Biscay arrrrrhhh…. ’tis the curse of the Boyne Valley and the cluireachans are among ye… arrrrhhhh…’tis the black spot cut from the leather cover of a bible … there she lies fourteen fathoms deep and calling … calling … I think I’ll have a curry this evening.

  18. Silla says:

    God, yis are all very specific in your prefrences when it comes to women.

    I’d have thought most of you would be lucky to have a woman with a pulse, as opposed to what you’re probably used to, one that requires a puncture kit on standby:-)

  19. Holemaster says:

    Fuck load of snow due overnight from the west. It’ll be Irish snow as opposed to the Russian snow we’ve had so far. They’ll meet in the skies over Athlone. There’ll be trouble.

  20. Twenty Major says:

    I’d have thought most of you would be lucky to have a woman with a pulse, as opposed to what you’re probably used to, one that requires a puncture kit on standby:-)

    haha

    Des – had Fallout Vegas, now FIFA (boooo) 11 and Assassin’s Cheese

  21. Holemaster says:

    Silla. I’m very picky about my women. After several years searching, I’ve managed to tick all the boxes. It took a string of several women to do that though.

  22. on the dry says:

    still single thank god time for a walk in the snow. will walk by ryans house

  23. itchybollix says:

    Russell Brand – (the baldy red-headed one)
    December 2nd, 2010 @ 4:11 pm
    A woman. full stop

    that’s picky?

  24. DD says:

    A light dusting of snow, must be about time for the water to be cut off.

  25. Holemaster says:

    White dogs look filthy in this snow.

  26. Silla says:

    HM, surely the aim of the gamw is to gey all your preferences in the one woman?

    Unfortunately, I’m spoken for.

  27. Silla says:

    Fuck, my spelling is gone mad.

    Must be my mouse-ear shaped fanny!

  28. Loco Lobo says:

    All that snow with more coming and winter doesn’t start for another fifteen days. A suggestion: gather the gasbags who comment on Twenty’s blog to go outside as the snow falls and gab at it until it melts. Problem solved.

  29. porridge says:

    “that’s picky?”
    still the same species itchy

    “working” from home is great. like being on holidays – dvds, xbox, afternoon snooze, pints and hungover in the morning – but getting paid for it. happy days

  30. Holemaster says:

    “Working” from home really is good because you don’t have to pretend that two hours work takes eight hours.

    But if you work for yourself, you’re fucked either way.

  31. Crank says:

    Pot: “gather the gasbags who comment on Twenty’s blog to go outside as the snow falls and gab at it until it melts.”

    Kettle: Cruel, very cruel.

  32. DD says:

    “A suggestion: gather the gasbags who comment on Twenty’s blog to go outside as the snow falls and gab at it until it melts. Problem solved”.

    A suggestion:

    http://www.williambowles.info/gispecial/2006/0306/100306/image002.jpg

    Problem solved.

  33. Anne says:

    lady as thin as karen carpenter – dead.

  34. Silla says:

    Yep, she’s pretty skinny by now alright.

  35. on the dry says:

    lena zavaroni he he

  36. Silla says:

    Reminds me of the old joke about guys wanting to be buried next to Marilyn Munroe, something about doing unmentionable things to dusty eye-sockets….

  37. on the dry says:

    you will be glad to here ryan has yellow snow

  38. maggot says:

    Petfood Twenty – or else you wont last too long.

  39. Crank says:

    The undertaker that was charged with Marilyn Monroe’s funderal claimed years later that all the local undertakers held a party and did the deed with Marilyn the night before.

    Lovely people.

  40. Crank says:

    Oh, and well done OTD. Maybe brown next time?

  41. on the dry says:

    when i am back on the stout crank

  42. itchybollix says:

    IBack on topic. ‘m just going to look forward two days, when saturday comes I’ll start again

    - Booze – going to Smyths tonight i order to observe potential serial killers.

    - Food – Marks and Sparks Macaroni Cheese in the oven at 180 presently.

    - Entertainment – Hearing that England got two votes and one of those votes was from England was a good start. HA! The National tomorrow night. All I want is a nice quiet entertaining evening with no alarms and no surprises. Mozart is coming along and upon hearing about my plastic predictmenmt has kindly offered to bankroll my w/end. Thanks dude. May look into that PS3 gaming thing. Does it have Gorf and Asteroids? ‘cos if it does ye’s are all toast. The Phoenix and Private Eye. That’s me sorted ’til saturday I hope.

  43. itchybollix says:

    my “i” and “n’s are a bit banjaxed

  44. sniffle says:

    would have been much easier to get to london then bloody moscow

  45. Crank says:

    You could spend a few minutes hoovering the accumulated detritus out of your keyboard itchy. Or do what I do and turn it upsidedown and whack it off the desk a few times.

    Or the sad times when I have to take it all apart and really clean it out. A sort of keyboard enema if you will.

  46. on the dry says:

    oh to be in bangkok eating tom yam goong itchy

  47. Loco Lobo says:

    DD, it takes a true wierdo to get off watching men being burned alive. You fit the bill. Keep away from children. Far away. You sick shit.

  48. itchybollix says:

    *leaning forward peering at the keyboard, leaning back saying ..ughhhhh.

    nah. you are right crank, it is fucking manky. though it’s my mank so it’s kosher.

    fuck it….i’ll probably end up doing it now.

  49. maggot says:

    you need a proper ashtray itchy.

  50. sheepshagger says:

    DD nice image.
    He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword.
    Loco is only peeved that it’s US getting their just desserts.

  51. itchybollix says:

    I do have thing for ashtrays maggot, this is my current fave. by the way, i was just kidding about the orange bastid the other day, and I would expect nothing less than the wrong answer..,I’d been watching Stormont and Edwin Poots talking about the union jack with a grin, a SF’er talking about not wanting them hanging, and all the panto stuff going on.

    http://i55.tinypic.com/wvpk5e.jpg

  52. maggot says:

    That is one cool ashrat – No worries about the OB – I’m not a sensitive soul!

    My favourite – though I mean to get one of those brass fly ones where the wings flip up!

    famousgrouse_wadepdm.jpg

  53. sheepshagger says:

    I thought fag ash was good for the carpet.

  54. Crank says:

    My keyboard has certainly required less frequent cleaning ever since I quit smoking. Now if I could just find out who’s using it to store biscuit crumbs. Mind you, if we stay snowed in much longer, I might be glad of them.

  55. DD says:

    “DD, it takes a true wierdo to get off watching men being burned alive. You fit the bill. Keep away from children. Far away. You sick shit”.

    That would include Iraqi and Palestinian children?

  56. Magoo says:

    Snow makes me go all into cheese on toast and baked beans and legs of lamb and stuff that I’d never normally bother with. But now I’ve run out of it all so I’m going to curry the dogs tomorrow.

  57. Silla says:

    Another fine mess you’ve got me into, OTD.

  58. SAm Crea says:

    I read your message a bit quickly, and read
    ‘TV and … PS3′

    as

    TV 3…

    I was going to come round and test your ‘burying in snow’ thesis…

  59. Taximan says:

    It’s a tad chilly here at the minute. I may have to turn off the fans at home tonight and sleep under a blanket for the first time this winter.
    It’s only just the 26C here in the West Indies, SUCKAHS!!

  60. tomo says:

    i’m still stuck on “mouse-ear shaped fanny”. thanks for that, Silla.

  61. Loco Lobo says:

    DD The world heard about the public stand you took when Saddam was killing Iraqi children by the thousands with poison gas and their parents with them. It made the news throughout the world.Your famous for your bravery.
    Sheepshagger : If it wasn’t for the US you’d be speaking Russian and they would be using the nape of your neck to scrape the shite from their boots. With a name like Sheepshagger you should hang with DD and the two of you should be kept away from chilren. In your case, animals as well.

  62. itchybollix says:

    taximan fucker. i hear you otd , there a guy on koh chang island who does a chinese cabbage with oytster sauce that is fucking amzing. rice, 3 /4 leaves of his cabbage and some of his sauce. he’s from cambodia. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

    Magoo
    December 2nd, 2010 @ 9:57 pm
    Snow makes me go all into cheese on toast and baked beans and legs of lamb and stuff that I’d never normally bother with. But now I’ve run out of it all so I’m going to curry the dogs tomorrow

    heh

    engerland are fast out of the blocks in the 2nd test , aus 11 for 3. pieterson still there in the team maggot, no eoghan morgan.

    thank fucking god for test cricket

  63. itchybollix says:

    in response to dd and the truth

    born free

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0B8qDQFJ0I

  64. SAm Crea says:

    what happens if you log on to wiki-leaks?
    Does Jason Bourne come to your house and kill you with a tea-towel?

  65. itchybollix says:

    worse sam. foxnews endorses the opinion that you should be executed. god bless america

    http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/

  66. maggot says:

    Great start in the cricket – 3 wickets for 2 runs!

    Take that Aussies

    Hums Rule Britannia.

  67. itchybollix says:

    another bertie ahern, brian cowen and mary harney vile scummy legacy

    http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/cable/2006/09/06DUBLIN1020.html

  68. porridge says:

    “worse sam. foxnews”
    mmmm.. sam fox

  69. Heywood Jablome says:

    Here, whatever happened to the “We never sought a bailout” party line of a week or so ago?
    ‘Government sought bailout – Lenihan’
    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2010/1202/breaking51.html

  70. on the dry says:

    sam likes the mouse – ear

  71. Ibanez says:

    time for hot whiskey heaven

  72. Senor Dingdong says:

    Internet check
    My hand check
    My cock check

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