“You know what, Twenty”, said Dirty Dave, “I can’t wait for this upcoming election to show that lot in Fianna Fail what I really think of them”.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. I’m going to vote them out!”
“Vote them out, you say?”
“Yes indeed. I’m going to show that tub of lard Cowen, yer man who owns the hardware shop in Rathmines, whatserface who looks like a mare with lipstick, and the Ahern brothers, that we won’t forget what they’ve done to this country and by the power of Greyskull we won’t let them forget it”.
“So who are you going to vote for then?”
“What do you mean? I just told you. I’m voting Fianna Fail out”.
“Yes but vote them out you have to vote somebody else in”.
“Really?”
“Well, yes. Really. So, are you going to vote for Fine Gael?”
“Enda Kenny. Are you mad? He got the leadership skills of the reverse Pied Piper. And he talks through his nose”.
“Labour?”
“Don’t think so. I mean Joan Burton is sexy and all but so is Kathy Bates and that’s no reason to go watch a Kathy Bates film, is it? And anyway, Pat Gilmore or Eamon Rabbitte just don’t do it for me. They’re like xFactor contestants. They sound good until you turn the AutoTune off and then you realise the noises they make are actually off-key and annoying”.
“The Greens then?”
“No way. Firstly, I don’t like how they call themselves Green and claim to be environmentmongers when we all know it’s a cloak for their rampant republicanism. Secondly, John Gormley is a Jesuit and I had bad experiences with them in my time. And thirdly, I want to beat Eamon Ryan’s face in with a pair of Converse. Not happening”.
“Sinn Fein”.
“That’s like asking you if you’d vote Damien Rice”.
“Fair point. An independent candidate then?”
“Well, I’d have to assess them on their merits but a poltician that is such a Johnny-no-mates that he can’t even get into one party is dodgy to me. It’s hardly as if they have stringest entry rules, is it? I mean if Paul Gogarty can be accepted into one then any half-witted spacker can. Untrustworthy”.
“Leaves you in a bit of a predicament then, doesn’t it?”
“I suppose it does. I’ll just have to fall back on the old reliable”.
“What’s that?”
“Drawing a great big cock, with lumpen hairy balls, on the ballot sheet”
“Democracy at work”, I said, practising my cock drawing on a beermat.
“Drawing a great big cock, with lumpen hairy balls, on the ballot sheet”
Careful.
That might be interpreted and counted as a vote for Fianna Fail.
More anti-shinner shite.
What sort of a cunt are you?
The sort that always voted FF or FF that’s who.
I’m going to use both of your books as toilet paper.
Cunt!
hah, it’s not just ant-shinner though, is it?
Lung, heh
You know what I mean.
By the way, which of your books would be most gentle on my arse as my dangle-berries are itching like fuck and dripping blood?
I swear my arse looks like Brian Cowen with a cold sore.
The second book probably better for that kind of thing
Dirty Dave TD is the answer. He can trust himself, surely?
You have two books Twenty? What they about? Any porn in them? Are they still in stores? Are they suitable gifts for Christmas I wonder?
i can blow the shape of a fanny on a pint of stout’ but i havent done it in weeks
Why would you do that on a pink OTD?
*pint*
Heh ‘on a pink’
..as an aside & on a cheerier positive note, Interpol were on top form in the Olympia last night…that’s Interpol the band not Interpol the police…great gig, played all their old (better) stuff and with The National & Arcade Fire later this week its a none too shabby week for gigs in Dublin (tickets bought way back when I had some money)…who better to distract one from all the shit than a couple of angsty indy bands from New York & a mad shower of musical wizards from Canada
The main thing is get the fuck out and vote. Every single FFer in the land will vote so it’s our national duty to vote and make sure we counter every single one of theirs twice over.
Wheres Bono these days
Shouldnt he be helping the country out …
because i can anne’ but i only miss the stout
Bono…He’s busy being a cunt!
Bono is busy looking for something, I heard he still hasn’t found it.
It’s a fair point twenty. The alternatives are sorely lacking and in some parts of the country non existant. It’s like going to the knackers yard to recruit horses for the Grand National.
Pretty much snowed in here now but it’s beautiful and oh so quiet. For a day or two I shall pretend I live in Narnia and not in this bankrupt cesspool of deceit.
(Crank – through the wardrobe)
Bono is liaising with his accountancy and PR advisors on the impending reduction to €40,000 of his artists’ exemption. The words ‘Do they know it’s Christmas time at alllllllll..’ keep running round his brain.
I can’t believe how many African people there are.
cold african people
Eh. Something wrong with the photo in this report. There’s no show whatsoever in it and it’s reporting on the opening of a new road today? Looks like the Indo rolling out a good news story under FF instruction.
http://www.independent.ie/breaking-news/national-news/ministers-hail-new-dual-carriageway-2443713.html
Rumours that Ivor Callely is changing his name by deed poll to “Great Big Cock With Lumpen Hairy Balls” are entirely well-founded.
Best worst 20
( FF, FG, Lab, Shinners, Jackie Healy )
OR
( Damo ) .
Damo wins….in a Sophie’s choice kinda way.
“I can’t believe how many African people there are.”
they’ve always been there, it’s just that they stand out better in the snow
That’s a an idea twenty. I’ve never missed a vote and I never spoiled a vote. Until last week. Last week at Malahide Cricket Club AGM we had to have a secrret ballot to elect a body to the executive. The choice was so bad I just put “x” on my sheet. Spoiled vote. I think for the first time ever I may spoil my vote in the general election. And a cock and balls seems about right.
with regard to Bono. Some wanker, who used to work for Decaln Ganly – so he is a wanker – said on Vincent Brrowne last night that if taxes are increased then Bono would leave the country.
Eh. Yep. Sounds good to me
Itchy, don’t spoil it. Just vote for anyone other than FF. If you don’t like the opposition list then vote for the least likely non FFer to get in.
The next government is going to be very unstable anyway. It will be made up of parties with different ideologies no matter who gets in.
Well I, for one will be voting Sinn Fein. Fancy a change is all…
Believe me, it really can’t get any worse
If only this lady was running…
“Well I, for one will be voting Sinn Fein. Fancy a change is all…
Believe me, it really can’t get any worse”
Replacing one set of gangsters for another set of gangsters! Yeah…that’s the answer! The day SF hold power in this counrty is the day I renounce being Irish!
There is a bloke who is advocating the Swiss system of government for Ireland. Can’t remember his name or the name of his organisation but he’s a completely sane and intelligent man. His proposition is perfectly sound and would be very sensible for Ireland. It essentially makes local communities far more involved in government and reduces the power of central government.
any update on this would be appeciated.
I’m in Blancahrdstown at the moment and need to get to Donabate.
How’s the m50 and m1 northbound anybody? Got to get a train to town at 7.20 to see Janelle Monae.
who’s she HM?
HM said: “If only this lady was running…”
Even when she’s sitting down you still couldn’t catch her.
According to the radio, Dublin city is at a standstill with cars unable to cross the bridges on the canals, the M50 is also at a standstill, buses are abandoned all over the place, the Five Lamps junction is an ice rink, and the whole place is in shite.
By the way, Operation Freeflow started today.
Just heard that flights are suspended at Dublin Airport.
Bono’s new extension on his mansion is finished, by the looks of it, and he’ll probably move back in for Christmas.
Aw!
Well for some, innit?
very good on the freeflow silla ha ha
good interview:
http://www.villagemagazine.ie/index.php/2010/10/%E2%80%9Cireland-is-a-disturbed-child-in-a-fantasy-world%E2%80%9D/
Unbelievable amount of snow here in the country, way more than at any time last year. Large branches of trees have started to come down with the weight of the snow. Something else to worry about.
+1 for operation freeflow silla.
puts a bit of colour their faces porridge
Gruggs, feck off then you welsh cunt!
Operation Freeflow really has started, the hubby saw cops checking speeds when he was coming home from work this morning, the cops were on every corner.
Unbelievable!
Bet they’re not there now!
*drums fingers on door waiting for any answer from anyone
Itchy, people are stranded at the Red Cow, the M50 is fucked, I don’t think you’ll make it Northside at all. All roads are gridlocked out of town.
Sorry I can’t help you itchy. Miles and miles away from the big smoke here. All I can say is the gig better be worth it. Personally, if Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon and Elvis were gigging up the road, I still wouldn’t leave the house.
This from Broadsheet itchy:
http://www.broadsheet.ie/2010/12/01/safe-home-dublin/
thanks
i’m home. 1 1/2 hours. m50 is fine, m1 is fine. itchybollix will be leaving the building in 1 hour with a stop off in Smyths for a sneaky one…
speaking in the third person again..hoping nobody is at the gig and i get to bring janelle home here on the 11.20 train…
JANELLE MONAE
01 Dec 2010
Tripod
…**TONIGHT’S SHOW IS UNAFFECTED BY WEATHER CONDITIONS, AND WILL GO AHEAD AS PLANNED. MS MONAE AND HER TOURING PARTY HAVE ARRIVED IN DUBLIN**
Bloody Bono is in Australia, advising our pollies on world poverty, carbon emissions and other shite. Could you please ask him to come home?
Which home?
Does he have a little grey home in the west?