Monthly Archives: December 2010
Oh hi, Mark!
I hope your Christmas went well and you ate and drank so much that you could barely move and that even after a monstrous poo you still felt full. I have been a bit sick. Some kind of chest infection … Continue reading
It’s the host blunderful lime of the gear
The comment spammers are getting personal. I used to love reading your blog, but lately it’s been a little boring. I’ll still read it though =) Aw, thanks. At least I think that was a comment spammer. Perhaps the fact … Continue reading
Tis the season
I’m going to trudge my way into town later on to do my Christmas shoplifting. I’ve made a list and I’ve checked it twice. Jimmy the Bollix – he is still distraught over the death of Leslie Nielsen so an … Continue reading
Is this what winter’s going to be like from now on?
Snow might look pretty but the reality is that unless you’re the kind of cunt who wants to go fast down a mountain with two sticks attatched to your feet it’s fucking useless. Snow should be banned from all urban … Continue reading
A Christmas bargain …
… spotted in DID earlier on. Click for big. [photopress:bargain.jpg,thumb,pp_image]
The 12 cunts of Christmas
Saturday night was weird around town. There was an atmosphere which wasn’t at all Christmassy. There was aggression. Lots and lots of aggression. People sitting minding their own business in a pub being hassled by a thick-necked mouthbreather over a … Continue reading
The Journal
If you’re a young, aspiring journalist, maybe you might want to have a look at this. What struck me though, was this: PLEASE NOTE: Successful applicants will be contacted within two weeks. We apologise but due to the volume of … Continue reading
I have seen the future
I envisage a dark future. An Ireland in which streets are empty, shops are boarded up, people live underground and scurry about the place knowing that being on the surface has rewards but brings much danger. Just a few of … Continue reading
Did you ever wonder?
I had a very strange dream last night in which an Italian friend of mine and his girlfriend were starring in a play I’d written. Disburbing really because I hate plays. His role was that of a denim clad cowboy … Continue reading
Whack whack
From the comments on yesterday’s blog by Johnnie390 I remember those things. One of the guards, sorry, the Brothers, in the school always made sure he had a spanking new brown leather. The leather. I was recently trying to explain … Continue reading
From the comments on yesterday’s blog by Johnnie390
I remember those things. One of the guards, sorry, the Brothers, in the school always made sure he had a spanking new brown leather.
The leather. I was recently trying to explain to somebody of a much younger generation what would happen if you didn’t have your homework done when I was in school. Or what would happen if you were talking in class and the priest/teacher in question lost his temper with you.
Bamboo canes, leather straps, dusters in the face, sideburn reefs (not that they were really sideburns, but still), clips around the ear, punches and digs.
“And why didn’t you hit them back?”, this younger person asked.
“Hahahaha”, I said.
“But how dare they do that. That’s assault”, they said, indignantly.
“Hahahahahahaha”, I said.
The only way you could get some pleasure out of it was to pull your hands away at the last minute and sometimes the strapper would become the strapee, whacking themselves on the leg. Often though the frocks got in the way and not enough pain was inflicted. And then they’d go mental altogether and isntead of 6 straps you’d get 12.
I also remember at the start of every day someone had to give the weather in Irish. This bit always made me cringe. ‘Please not me, please not me, please not me, please not me’ because I never knew any of the weather in Irish.
“Ta sé ag sunolíocht”, I said one day when the ‘please not me’ didn’t work, but the laughter didn’t make up for the subsequent strapping.
Ok, it did.