Overpriced and full of cunts they might be but a good night out in the pub can’t be beat. Obviously Ron’s is my local but I do like a pint elsewhere from time to time.
Problem is there are too many bars and not enough pubs and anyone who uses the word ‘gastro’ to describe their premises needs to have their face scalded off. I got a taxi into town last week and the subject of pubs came up. Joe le Taxi spoke about The Long Hall, a very good pub indeed with a fine pint, and told me how he’d been going there for years.
“Yer man”, he says, “you know the fella behind the bar, shuffling along. Wouldn’t smile to save his life. The other week I was in there and asked him for two pints and I says to him ‘I bet you’re not going to give me a smile today’ and yer man just grunts”.
Which is entirely reasonable if you ask me. Folk demanding smiles when you’re serving them food or drink could very well be the most irritating kind of customer in the world. I wouldn’t blame yer man for not smiling as much as I wouldn’t blame him for dispensing a good glassing to my otherwise entertaining driver.
If you can get a space in the window in the Long Hall, and you have time, settling in with a few pints to watch folk walk by is always good juice. I’m fond of people watching, I like to assign different characteristics to them as they amble up the street. ‘Psycho’, ‘puppy fondler’, ‘Damien Rice fan’, ‘Fianna Fail voter’, ‘heroin addict’, ‘heroin addicts moth’, ‘off-duty fireman’, and so forth.
Of course the name of the pub has a part to play in its standing. The Long Hall wouldn’t anywhere near as welcoming if it were called ‘The Bishop’s anus’ or something modern and wanky like ‘Zomgoose’. Ron’s Bar would be far less authentic if it were named ‘Ron’s Bar and Grill’, mostly because he doesn’t not have a George Foreman.
Some pubs, however, just have it spot on. Click for big.
[photopress:theoldcunt1.jpg,thumb,pp_image]
Service with a smile makes me nervous.
Pubs named The Bleeding Horse in town and The Boot Inn near Swords give me pause for thought
I like The Bleeding Horse. Everytime I go in there for a pre-Tripod gig-stiffener drink I end up in the smoking part, because my friends all smoke. The smoking zone is always full of grass and hash fumes. It is a nice bonus.
Excellent, looks like that place in Portobello that used to have mud wrestling or some similar shenannigans of a Sunday morning.
Do they have a micro-brewery? They might not get too many takers for a pint of Old Cunt Bitter, or Old Cunt Stout.
Aw the ould cunt, Crumlin’s fifth scariest public house.
I used to like Solus, but lately it has slithered down hill. Boo. Love The Duck though, quack be upon it.
Hartigans just off the top of Stephens green (opposite the sugar club) feels like it (and the lady behind the bar) arrived here in a time machine. Great Guinness too.
Hate the flourescent lighting in Hartigans though.
Crumlin’s fifth scariest public house.
heh
Conan – we are a deviant society, I’m sure it’d work.
Tomo – used to drink in Hartigans way back when. Had a pint in there last year and it hasn’t changed one bit.
That shuffling Long Hall barman is Walter Matthau’s long lost brother, Mick Matthau.
oweners long and hall’ luck would have it his name was not tool
You’re dead right about the pub/bar comparison. Every time I’ve come back to Dublin over the past years, there’s been some nice old pub that’s been ponced up beyond recognition. What was once a comfy dive with a well-worn-slipper aesthetic now looks like a Mr. Kipling cake turned inside-out.
Same crap has happened over here too.
Most of the new pub styles are to cater for women or what the owner thinks women want ie stripped pine, a fucking piano and the ability to provide a meal for nine inside ten minutes. And its got to smell like a hairdresser’s little sister.
I vote we start taking over hairdressers. Sawdust on the floor. A smelly old labrador sprawled across the floor fartin’ away and all of it nice and gloomy with an overlay of 50 years at least aroma of stale beer, lost bets and argument.
That’d teach them.
A smarmy travelling salesman goes into a pub at lunchtime and chirpily addresses the grumpy barmaid:
“A pint a steak and kidney pie and a few kind words my dear!”
She slaps the pint and the food onto his table and starts walking away.
“And the few kind words?” he asks.
“Don’t eat the pie.”
Where do all the hot single Eastern European and Asian women hang out?
Eastern Europe and Asia, respectively
Holemaster
October 26th, 2010 @ 11:16 am
Where do all the hot single Eastern European and Asian women hang out?
From what I’ve seen and where I’ve been I notice that they hang out in the Raddisson Prague and “Cabbages & Condoms” restaurants in Bangkok.
(You asked for that one)
like were your going HM! check the cuban night they have on wednesdays in the pub on parnell st! used to be called the outback!
is it me or was it easier to meet people on a night out than it is now?
Strike up a conversation with a girl and she nearly screams rape!!
I did deserve that.
I think it’s you rickrolling. I don’t know how half the women I meet put up with me for more than 5 seconds. Oh yeah, that’s right, they don’t.
Women tend to be very forgiving souls.
The back room in the Palace for daytime drinking.
Anseo, Camden St. for nighttime drinking.
O’Loughlin’s Dun Laoghaire if you want a step back in time – not even a toilet for the lay-dees.
Not that I ever get out.
I’d like to see a picture of a “heroin addict’s moth”, it sounds great fun for HM & Porridge’s picture talents
A smelly old labrador sprawled across the floor fartin’ away
Not needed if Major in residence.
Women tend to be very forgiving souls.
What ?
She’s lulling you into a false sense of security HM
A Heroin addict’s moth”
Boooo!
Avoid watering holes that were made over and are now go by the name of lounge. They suck. Yuppee joints.
DRINK
feck!!
Co-sign on Anseo, I used to live on Francis street, so the liberty belle was my local back then, salt of the earth kinda pub, very welcoming.
Since the smoking ban the smell in most pubs could put them in the ‘gastro’ pub bracket.
Excellent HM, well worth getting a window seat for. Difficult to recognise without the attendant heroin addict though, you must have a trained eye Twenty
I hate that thing in newish pubs wanting to appear old where they seem to smear the walls with poo
HM – Pravda for Eastern European women and Asian women don’t seem to drink.
IS THAT PUB REAL
OR HAS IT BEEN PHOTOSHOPPED
I WOULD LOVE TO VISIT IT IF ITS REAL
fintans confirmation money did post recently that the cops would go to jail and stipesreplied ” sure, hhahahah shoulda gone to specsavers”
Stipes wins
http://www.rte.ie/news/2010/1026/garda.html
Nigeria
North Korea
Burma
Ireland
It’s going to be a re-trial Itchy. Must be some serious shit that the Judge is talking about.
They’ll go down alright.
THE WEE BASTARD GOT OFF LIGHTLY…AND YOU LOT WOULD END UP AS CANNIBAL MEAT WITHOUT THE GARDAI, YOU DUMB-ASSES.
betcha they won’t.
What did you make of Donegal then gluastean? protecting us then too, eh?
The Gardaí have a corrupt and violent core. Try to make a complaint against a Garda and see what happens to you.
They’re mostly thick cunts who couldn’t get into college.
Aaaanyway
So getting back to pubs. There’s a great pub in Drogheda called Carbury’s. At least it used to be there about 15 years ago. It’s down by the docks area.
the cornerstone next to the Screen is nice for a few!
Altho it can be full of fucking gards sometimes!!!!!
Bray Root, it’s an actual pub in Crumlin.
Pub owner: “The old Aunt I said, not Cunt”
Mr Tourettes: “I’ll still want paying”
Ah now, curb your enthusiasm Holemaster.
Thanks Twenty
will be visiting that pub in the near future
FACT
In 1964 , after being stitched 5 times in the childer’s hospital, the da bought me a glass of coke in the submarine bar. (no anaesthetic) –
there was a smell of man about the place .
The Sub was a horrible green bomb bunker until the 90s. Their regulars used to charter whole planes to go Ireland matches.
it had roundy portal windows as i remember – i wonder did john lennon have a drink there ?
Used to wonder why it wasn’t underground.
Hey 20, is there usually 32 cunts drinking in that bar, 6 of them in a specially cordoned off VIP area?
Another long pub – in Winthrop street – cork – the long valley – used to be a hitler lookalike ran the joint – Walter I think his name was – dead now – played scratchy Wagner on the long player – now famous for door step sandwiches.
( Walter in Winthrop who liked Wagner – very net chic )
And what about Limerick’s own tub of blood – class act.
http://www.thefoulmouthedcunt.co.uk/
The Long Valley sandwiches are still very good. No sign of Adolfs or Valkyries unfortunately.
You’d imagine bars that are struggling these days would have theme nights- like an Opera night where they play Wagner or Mahler and so on.
It’d be different and if there are no crowds in midweek you are more likely to draw people in than lose any customers.
Possibly get media coverage as well. It would also give rise to marketing tie in with breweries and drinks wholesalers.
Might pay to get in an Opera singer to belt out a few. I’d go to see that and spend a few bob. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard a soprano blow some walls out.
Bray-Root, God bless your innocence, you obviously don’t know the city very well.
If you’re going Crumlin way, I hope your life insurance policy is up to date, you are not carrying any valuables, you’re not parking a car outside, and you have a large group of minders with you.
Even then, don’t do it!!
HM, most Asian and East European women are not allowed to go out to pubs, or anywhere else, for that matter. So you’ll have to settle for the native women, I’m afraid. Sorry to disappoint you!
pub quiz on sunday works quite well in my local in blanch. used to be dead, now good crowd having a bit of fun. publicans can’t sit back anymore and just wait for the cash to come flowing in
The native women let themselves go too easily.
Do you mean they let themselves go in a devil-may-care, throw-caution-to-the-wind kind of way, or let themselves go in a grow-a-moustache-and-put-on-10-stone kind of way?
Ah now- I often see those presented as ‘models’ in irish papers and just as often see breathtakingly pretty women passing on the street in Ireland.
I will admit though that something weird sometimes happen to Irish women when they get married- and men too for that matter. They seem to over a period of months turn into their mothers and fathers.
Women seem to dress more conservatively and men let themselves go a lot. But I have to say in Ireland you are likely to see very beautiful women passing by who are far more attractive than some painted dolly freezing her tits off in a bikini at a mall opening.
Oh there’s loads of real knockouts but a lot women and men get lazy and don’t think they need to keep impressing.
Big mistake and disrespectful.
Jo will kill me for that.
Why do RTE interview Heroin addicts when they’re doing a Vox-pop on social welfare cutbacks as if that’s representative of people on welfare?
They love to maintain a stereotype.
You don’t think it might have something to do with the disappointment of all her hopes and dreams dying in the dust of a loveless marriage, a husband who drools over Cheryl Cole as he scratches his hairy arse, ungrateful children who sneer at her every time she speaks, the expectation of society that she should work outside the home and then come home to do another days work, the inevitable effects of gravity and childbirth, and the copious amounts of alcohol drunk in a desperate attempt to block out reality?
No?
Must be just me, then.
In my experience, most women prefer to be at home with the children. And most men prefer it too. It’s better for children in the long run, no doubt about that. It’s easier on everyone. Life is about being happy.
It’s also better for community. Families get to know each other properly. So when you die, there’s a big selection of cakes and sandwiches at the wake, not just ‘shop bought’.
“pub quiz on sunday works quite well in my local in blanch. used to be dead, now good crowd having a bit of fun. publicans can’t sit back anymore and just wait for the cash to come flowing in”
Would that be the bell? I lived in Huntstown for years and pissed away a chunk of my wages in that place.
@Silla – There’s enough pressure on us as men too, since sex & the city we have to be a 6foot hyperambitious novelist/investment banker who spends his free time as a volunteer fireman, works with handicapped kids, looks good in speedoes and has rippling abs all year round to be considered worthy of their attention.
Fair point, HM. The deliciousness of the home made sambo can not be over estimated.
As for the SATC effect, if only life was that sinple!
Simple, even.
sinple was more apt.
Why would I kill you for that, HM? It’s what happened to me, among other things.
You picked it up on the Jo-dar!
The ideal situation is to have a choice. If my wife earned more money than me and had better career prospects, I’d have no issue with…..
What the fuck, we were talking pubs here.
So what about the Old Chinaman? Now that was a scary boozer.
Humphrey was the Oberstarmfuhrer in the Long Valley in Cork, Sniffle. The nearby Hi-B is one of my favourite pubs in the country. As for Dublin… The Pembroke in the old days, The Magnet (until that er… incident), Ryan’s in Queen St, and for dens of iniquity the Blue Light used be hard to beat.
Peters Pub, Mercer street, simple decor, great staff, haven’t been in there in a while, but it looks the same from the outside.
So what about the Old Chinaman? Now that was a scary boozer.
Scary indeed if you weren’t a regular, but we had to keep it that way or we would never have gotten away with openly dealing and smoking in the shadows of Dublin Castle for so many years.
I’ve never found a pub to replace it in my heart.
Look, I still have one of their stools as a memento…
Stupid ‘Image Adding’ thing.
It won’t beat me.
Another try.
The Meeting Place and The Jetfoil on the docks were the scariest pubs in dublin, both now defunct.
As my current drug dealer keeps reminding me,’tis a little bit of history I have there.
I usually let him sit on it before we do any transactions in return for a few free joints, and then buy my own stuff off of him when he’s on his way out the door.
Wow the Jetfoil. I never knew the pub but I remember that Captain Scarlet type jet boat from the early 80s.
Cravens near Parnell St?
I’ll tell you what’s really scary.
Going into the Master Mariner at 6am (It’s an ‘Early House’) with three gay friends who were still a bit pissed and frisky from the night before, and drinking in the company of aggressive burly dockers. That’s a morning I’ll never forget.
Git, is that blood and bits of hair on the legs of that stool?
Don’t ask stupid questions.
Of course it is.
Anyone remember Hijaks, in O’Connell Street, the first wine bar in Dublin?
They sold revolting plonk and we only went there when normal pubs were closing early, as they used to do on St Patricks day and other random occasions.
lol git. You could smoke that seat. Don’t know cravens HM and I think the jetfoil was the boozer for the rave-heads coming down from The Asylum? I was never there..is that it silla? near westland row side of the liffey?I spent a season or two in the chinaman. No scary things, everybody was lovely.
No, Itchy, the Jetfoil was far down the quays, surrounded by warehouses and vacant lots, a really seedy rough spot. You had to go out of your way to go there, and usually to get dope.
It “burnt down” in the 80s, allegedly by the General.
Bartley Dunnes anyone?
They used to say there were 50p pieces nailed to the floor of the gents loo in Bartley Dunnes.
Or was that Rices in south King Street, where the shopping centre is now?
I’ve a load of biker mates who have a soft spot for Bartley Dunnes in their hearts, but I was frequenting the Baggot Inn and Toner’s in those days and never had the pleasure.
It was a kinda ‘find your own groove and stay outta mine’ vibe I had going with my brother at the time, to both our detriment.
It was the Old Chinaman that brought us back together, naturally.
Upstairs in the old Baggot Inn, where the pool tables were, was a mad place. There were a lot of fights there, and pool balls and cues were the weapons of choice. Ah, the good old days!
Apart from that, the place was a rickety death trap.
I went there ostensibly for the bands, but more so for the fact that the people on the door were collecting money for the bands, and were subsequently much more likely to allow a 16yr old like myself into a pub than a regular pub might.
Kind of a win-win thing when you think about it, or a win-win-win if you want to be pedantic.
ass, not the bell. pub quiz on in vineyard, or blanch house as it was known. bell is a bit of a kip, especially as the greyhound closed and its denizens moved over.
not too many biker friendly bars – luckily the dice bar, bruxelles and hogans haven’t changed too much
Some might say it was a coincidence but just like somebody tried to explain to me that when she’s driving around town looking for a parking spot she say’s a prayer to her “parking angel” and hey presto!” the angel makes a space appear I believe that this is, eh, a fucking 54-1 shot, not angels but still a coincidence.
I got back from the shop and heard about Tariq Aziz on Channel 4 news. The reporter, Lynsay Hilsum?, saying he was the 8 of spades so I thought I’d fish him out and do a photo for the day. The very first card from the pack, including jokers etc was the 8 of spades. I’m trying to wangle it into the jfk thing and ryan turdidy. and brian cowen.
i hope they don’t kill him. the death penalty is base, vile shit. septic tanks love it of course. yanks like killin’ people.
Was Cowen repsosible for Shannon getting used for the illegal invasion of eyeraq too or was there someone before him in foreign affairs? i.e. Is he like Harney in the way that everything she touches turns to shit?
cheese.
http://i54.tinypic.com/fa9e0k.jpg
The Toby Jug off south King Street used to serve anyone.
I once got served in there wearing my school uniform. Maybe they thought me and my friend were strippograms, but it wasn’t that kind of place!
the fox and pheasant too. near slatterys. I think. probably gone. Low flat roof. NOFX a band of skateboarding punks from California going all Frank Sinatra on us singing “loungecorp” at us on a sunny sunday afternoon. the wahrf tavern. now there was apub I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of. A friend of mine lived on the east wall and insisted on going there. It was like a H-Block.
Silla
October 26th, 2010 @ 10:29 pm
The Toby Jug off south King Street used to serve anyone.
I once got served in there wearing my school uniform.
hah
jools holland on friday has a good list; dunno who is on live tonight from
Paul McCartney
Neil Diamond
Elvis Costello
The Black Keys
Aloe Blacc – dunno who that is
11.20.
twentymajor tv times
http://www.bbc.co.uk/later/
I’m in love with duffy since the show just gone by.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4rDZH0Dakc&feature=related
Ah Yer a cunt! Every now an agin with your blogs ye make me feel homesick, why can’t ye stick with the cunts e fuck!
It’s a very Dickins moon out there right now. Almost full, lighting up the passing clouds. Whoooohoooo.
howling at the moon HM- The ramones;
this pic from rte frontpage. he looks like the fucking eejit hypnotist on littlebritain catchphase “look into my eyes, look into my eyes etc” or he looks like bmbi caught in the headlights.
spoofing clueless bambi gets found out by the masses at some point?
http://i56.tinypic.com/2rpfwug.jpg
A fella in the gents in the Begger’s Bush pointed to the blue deodorant blocks in the urinal and said to me as he shed a tear for poor ol’ Ireland ‘Isnt it desparate what they do with the soap’ Thats the Ballsbridge crowd for ye!.