If there’s one thing that being online quite a lot teaches you it’s that there is, literally, no end to the amount of stupid people or to the stupidy of the stupid people.
Even when it’s blindingly obvious something is a joke there are those who will read it as if it were real, take offence, complain in the most vigorous terms then stomp off in a huff. Oh, so you’re never going to visit the site again, eh? There’s a shock, but I bet you will. I bet you’ll visit again and again until you find something that sates your desire, your need, to be offended. And then you can mount that high horse, that 20mb always-on, faster in the mornings high horse that you groom each day.
Weirdos. Then there are the people who are purportedly experts in the internet. They might work for an organisation and they’ll email you and say ‘Hey, it’d be great if you could write a whole blog post about this thing we do and it’d be even greater if you could use this exact text that I’m sending you as well as this logo (please ensure you make the logo as big as possible, thanks!!)’.
Now, I’m no Don Draper, in many ways (although I’d give him a good drink-off), but my understanding of the advertising industry is that if you want to advertise something you pay for it. Would this person send an email to RTE and say ‘Hey, I made this great TV ad and it’d be just swell if you could show it, at prime time! Great!’?
I doubt they would. I remind them of this when I tell them to go shove it up their holes. And for the most part they tend to take great offence at this. As if I am somehow disrespecting them because I won’t advertise their shite for free.
Stupid. Dense. Moronic. Internet people.
Still, for every 450,000 idiots there’s a piece of genius like this. Click for big.
[photopress:goodnews.jpg,thumb,pp_image]
Crowd sourcing is my latest pet hate. Instead of paying experts and professionals for sound advice, a company will create a competition with a shit prize to get 10,000 people to give them 99% shit ideas in the hope they can find one good one.
The time spent sifting through the crap ends up costing more than engaging the experts in the first place.
Marketing people are detestable little parasites.
What sort of things do they ask you to advertise Twenty? Or is it all quite random?
All quite random really, Christy.
HM – it amazes just how ignorant some people are of just basic etiquette.
Nice rant over at your place, btw.
ESP? Though likely LSD. I was going to reply to Christy saying “I bet it was Guinness”. Then clicked on HM. Weird. Perfectly true as well HM. I blame Karl Rove with his database of voters
So now I’ll say
Christy
September 10th, 2010 @ 10:52 am
What sort of things do they ask you to advertise Twenty? Or is it all quite random?
Ciggies. gotta be ciggies. Or The Taleban.
Or soft soft extrasoft loo roll for his poo trips
Nice rant over at your place, btw.
How much did he charge you HM?
Example of a sell out blog post:
“So I was sitting in the Renault Clio Sport 1.2 when I spotted John across the road coming out of Real Gourmet Burger in his new Lacoste Jacket when I thought Omigod, that reminds me, I meant to pick up new Ray Bans before heading to Soairse’s Mom’s house Malaga next week. Better pop into BTs before drinks in the Shelbourne later…”
Sam, I have to mind Bastardface for a week.
There are some folk with blogs etc that will plug anything provided they get a bit of a free something
The mere fact that the Nigerian money transfer scam is still up and going just shows that there are still interminable wells of ignorance on the internet that have yet to be tapped.
Names Twenty,we need names!
@Lung: I set up a fake email account to reply to some of those. Strung one guy along for a couple of months. Great Fun!
I don’t know Lung. After all Nigel Soladu turned up didn’t he? Made good on his promise…
Its at times like this I just sit back and enjoy a cool John Player Blue.
Even when it’s blindingly obvious something is a joke
What jokes? I thought everything here was real.
Please tell me that Ron’s really exists …
Of course it does, Tinman. Of course it does.
I hate myself for doing this, but I can’t help it. Err, stupidy?
sorry, sorry, sorry
That John Player Blue was lovely. Good for me too (probably).
Stupidy Jit
I have a cholesterol check scheduled for an hours time – this fasting is an absolute cunt.
I want a fry NOW!
maggot i would love a pint now
Maggot. Apples, walnuts, red yeast rice, all good for lowering cholesterol. Don’t go near things like Benecol, they don’t work. Only natural foods and common sense.
*benecol internet search marketing gimp will be in any minute now*
Oi!!!
Listening to the head honcho aussie dude who runs Anglo Irish Bank – have they stopped rolling out that aloof cunt Dukes? – anyhow, listening to him just now and his words were getting mangled in my head – all I kept hearing was this, going forward.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsDpznl8eIs
my doctor refuses to believe that smoking lowers cholesterol.
Fool.
Do you want a second opinion maggot?
How much will it cost doctor ?
time for stout
i think we’re trading in greek drachma today so I’ll settle for a greek salad barter
Sigh. I only ever got asked to advertise toilet roll. I was disappointed.
I wouldn’t blame anyone for selling out for free stuff, if the free stuff was good. Selling out what, like? Blogging integrity? Pfft.
If anyone is tempted to make a comment connecting my blog content and the toilet roll they can fuck right off, I just got there first.
well – the fasting is over – venison pie and oven chips and salad.
Parp
There’s alot of LSD going around today. Christy mentioned loo-roll in relation to this topic earlier Jo. Christy? Is that an elephant as your picture? I only ask ‘cos I saw a programme last night about Pygmy Elephants in Borneo. Mary Harney was not in it.
Jo. Your blog is solid.
What’s your score Maggot?
love the tarzan clip and the nerd response. Is she single? Though I can’t swim
which leads me to
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zp9wfI66_4
It was 5 but that wasn’t fully fasted.
I need a bertie and a sleep!
Yes it is an elephant Itchy. This one’s not Mary Harney either. She is not fit to call herself an elephant
I meant that Twenty sometimes writes about poo not that his blog is a pile of poo!
Go. Fuck. Yourself.
(and well done for learning the Bertie trick of how nice it is spending other peoples money)
CIF Chief calls for end to ‘blame game’
10/9/2010 07:50
CIF Chief calls for end to ‘blame game’ The head of the Construction Industry Federation says Ireland needs to stop engaging in the “blame game” and focus on job creation. The group is holding its annual conference later. It comes as unions consider a 7.5 per cent pay cut in the industry – the CIF had originally wanted a 30 per cent cut. Tom Parlon says Ireland now has to shift its focus
http://www.tribune.ie/article/2009/nov/08/tom-parlon-leaves-1750-tip-for-patricks-day-limo-d/
Elephants are excellent. I now have a thing for Pygmy Elephants. I remember the elephant in Dublin Zoo was called Susan. The same name as my sister. Oh what fun I had with that.
Of course the CIF is calling for an end to the ‘Blame Game’. They are to blame!
It’s a common utterance these days. But when nobody is blamed and held accountable, people get away with being incompetent, criminal or careless. People become complacent knowing that they will never have to stand over their actions and the same mistakes happen again and again.
Chaos ensues.
Ugh, god, Itchy. And I thought struggling with Joanna Banana was bad.
Elephants are the best. I hear them. There’s so much to say about elephants, did you see that bbc programme last year? It was available on the site, I wonder if it’s still up.
As to Mary, that lady is everyone’s surrogate blogland mother. And is very much married, in Florida. We love her.
Why are you lurking, instead of commenting, and commenting here? That seems inside out :)
Tss, I meant ‘I heart them’. Not like, ‘I hear elephants’ in the same way one might say, ‘I see dead people’.
Trumpet*
That was a nice siesta. I feel brand new.
I had a dream that Tom Parlon, Mary harney and Brian Cowen were all wallowing. I took out my elephant gun and had a ball. Then I woke up. It was only a dream. puh.
I will post in the right place next time Jo. This is like being back in school.
My 91 year-old uncle, Faithi (Syrian), lives in Florida. He used to live in Bethedsa. He also used to own a chunk of Marbella in the 60′s, refused to be corrupted and basically got run out of town, but that’s another story. 10 years ago he divorced my mothers bitch of a sister and hooked up with a 61 year-old blond woman. Oh how we laughed. I wonder if it was Mary?
@lung and @actionman:
Here’s a decent site about them scammers.
http://www.419eater.com/
Ihad a very strange dream. Venison is such a cunt.
Oh deer.
thanks Taximan; saw that site before but lost the link…so great stories on there
I roe the day I discovered venison.
I never get sika it.
http://i53.tinypic.com/2u9j3fm.jpg
dinner
That will give peadar wood itchy.
mmmm sweet sweet benecol, good for my cholesterol and it added a solid 2″ onto my john hopkins.
Was in Wexford yesterday and had a few lurvly pints of Tiger, went to the jacks and some witty person scribbled “I don’t use drugs, I just like the smell of coke” on the door, made me chuckle.
This class!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-11267470
I never thought I’d ever say these two words. Poor pig.
this on the everton pa
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akVwfUBUOzQ
I didn’t mean to be teachery, itchy.
maggot, mayhap the combination of rich meat and carbs on your stomach while you slept was the culprit, more than the venison itself.
That, or it’s Bambi’s Revenge…
if you like fishing for trout’this is it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4pOOMpFW_8
time for more stout
The first minute was cool OTD;nice piano, nice mouse. Then it all went downhill; crap soft-rock MOR shite and fishing. Shame. What’s the story with catcing a fish; holding it in the air for a photo so it can’t breathe, causing brain damge to the fish and then fucking it back into the river? bastards
Traumatic tv moment: Jackie Charleton presenting a fish programme – at a fish farm – walking down a leafy avenue, holding a giant salmon and … wanking it, to demonstrate how they get the sperm and mix it together with the eggs in big boxes.
When I say wanking, it ws more like he was milking the side of the fish. While walking up a leafy lane.
It had a surreal, nightmare quality to it.
*scrunched up face saying UGH in my head at the above.
Was it dead? i.e. was Jack guilty of necrophilia and beastiality?
Nope, I think it was alive. Strange planning, eh?
The fish can tell his mates Jack Charlton wanked him off. But he probably shouldn’t say anything. I wonder. Does Jack have any sisters?
No, just a keen interest in fish fancying cultivated early on. Fish and football, but the football was just to throw his hard Northern pals off the fishy scent.
“The football was just to throw his hard Northern pals off the fishy scent.”
No need, gays don’t fish. Unless that’s some sort of sexual innuendo amongst the gay community. Strokin’ a salmon etc etc
Things that are excellent. When Clijsters is playing against Zvonareva in The US Open Final. The sound of the ball. Neither lady screams when hitting the ball. Venus Williams, Serena Williams, Maria Sharapova must be taught a lesson with duct-tape.
C’mon Vera.
Poor Vera has gone gaga. Again.
Clijsters is still talking and yapping away about nothing, first thing she said was about 9/11 which brought the mood down from sombre to suicidal . Everyone is leaving and wants to go home. I think she’s singing a song about 9/11 now. fucks sake. you won. Everyone has gone home. Poor Vera.
Look, this fish thing – we’ve all done it.
Less of the sanctimony.
Heh.
me fucking head
god bless america
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjfiPhND6_Y&feature=fvwk
Nadal v Djokovic tonight. I will be commentating on that too. After last night when poor Vera was wopped off the court and started crying uncontrollably, with me crying too in sympathy, I don’t think I’m looking forward to the serial arse-picker Nadal taking out Djoko. Maybe there’ll be an upset. Nadal gets on my wick with his shitty habit of continually picking his hole when preparing to serve,
have a look at this cunt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C80RG3bFDrA
yes its that time
Here is the news.
Brian Cowen said some shit on the radio.
Nobody believed him.
The end.
Itchy, what kind of ideas about Maria Sharapova and duct tape is it that’s rolling around in your head? Ps. You forgot to mention the handcuffs.
Ass per Usual: Gays may not fish for herring or such but they can be found trolling the toilets of the New Jersey Turnpike for one eyed eels in the manner of one of our more recent Governors, Jim Mc Greevy.
I’ve never been a tennis fan but I’m seeing it in a whole new light with Itchy as commentator, it’s really entertaining. I’m not going to watch the tennis though, that would spoil the experience for me.
Rafa’s piles are acting up. The rain is heavily heavy in NY.