I’ve taken to reading a bit of science fiction lately, as a change from the usual. Space, future, wars, telecasting, fugue states, time travel of a fashion, and loads of other stuff. It’s all good.
There’s one bit in the book I’m reading the moment where the chap in question has too many martinis (good to know we’ll not have descended into a race of Jaeger-bombing halfwits, even fictionally) and wakes up with an enormous hangover. He then simply takes a pill the next day and within seconds his hangover is gone. Disappeared. I want this.
I’m enjoying the stories but every so often I stop and really regret the fact that I’ll never get to see any of the cool stuff they’re going to invent in the future.
Wife: What’s up with you, you seem a little off-sorts?
Husband: Ah, just a touch of cancer I think.
Wife: Did you take any Squamadeine?
Husband: I’ll pop down to the Chemist after breakfast and get some, that’ll get rid of it in a day or two.
Wife: Will you get some tampons for me while you’re there?
Husband: (fuck sake)
hah, I like how some things will never change.
I just wish I could see some of the really cool stuff the underserving cunts in the future will have.
There is a thing on the market at the minute for hangovers. You take a couple of pills before you start drinking, one every hour while you’re drinking and then a couple when you’ve finished.
But I know what you mean, I’ll never be around just to see it reduced to one fookin pill.
“I’ll never be around just to see it reduced to one fookin pill” – cyanide. one pill and no headache everagain.
getting a bit jaded twenty. take a look around your house at all the technological wonders you take for granted, some of which would be magical (satanical in the case of anything from mr. jobs) to people from a few hundred years ago. having said that am pissed there aren’t any real lightsabers yet
All I want for Christmas is a hoverboard and Huey Lewis’s greatest hits.
and a magic shower which as well as washing you, awesomely removes aches, pains , ligament tears, hyper extended hurts, creaking hips and soothes bruising and swellings , so that when you walk out, you walk straight and without pain, smelling and looking something like one on those pilot guys in that homo-erotic scene from top gun.
A language chip in the brain. So when you’re on a bus in a foreign country, you realise that they’re having the same inane conversations as back home. it just sounds sexier.
If its not too much trouble i’d like the spaceship from Flight of the Navigator as well. Without the gay robot.
Electric Picnic sounds like something cool from the future.
But it’s not. Not even close.
I hope some day someone comes up with an alternative to the umbrella.
ella ella ella ay ay ay
Face the facts, the world is going broke and the future is poverty. Twenty years from now you’ll be sitting in the glow of candles and kerosine lamps telling your great grandchildren about all the wonderful things you had back in the day. They’ll look at you in pity believing you to be fulla shit or crazy. There’ll be no hospitals or loony bins where they can drop you off so they’ll wait for winter and lock you out of the house and let nature take its course. That’s your future, look forward to it, it’s coming.
Not playing the Picinc SG?
Apparently an old nurses trick is to take Nexium before you go out drinking (or the over the counter Zantac). They are normally for people with acid reflux. It protects the stomach somewhat.
Also, drink a pint of water before bed. Or a pint of gravy which, while doing nothing for the hangover, will be amusing for anybody watching.
I also heard that sticking a finger up a badger’s arse helps, but I heard that from a guy in a bus station
”Twenty years from now you’ll be sitting in the glow of candles and kerosine lamps telling your great grandchildren about… ”
Thats remarkably quick. Twenty, you’re clearly going to have very slutty and fertile children and grandchildren.
Won’t happen Icarus – the doctor burst his ball…..
In the future, there’ll be no cash. Because Dermot ‘The Nazi’ Aherne will charge you to withdraw your own money rather having the Gardaí do their jobs and prevent cash in transit robberies.
So not only does your tax money go to the banks instead of hospitals but they’ll now charge you to withdraw your own money.
Aherne, you’re a sleveen beady eyed snake. Catch the crims you lazy fuck and stop looking for yet another way to take my fucking money.
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2010/0902/breaking49.html
Jesus HM,you really have a talent for finding the real Blood Boiling Links…
Cunts..Taxing you for getting at your own money..
getting a bit jaded twenty. take a look around your house at all the technological wonders you take for granted, some of which would be magical (satanical in the case of anything from mr. jobs) to people from a few hundred years ago.
That’s what I have been doing. Thinking about the cool stuff my grandfather never knew. Which makes it all the more painful to think about the cool stuff I’ll never know.
Bondholders: Hey, Cowen you fat fuck, find every possible way you can of taking every last cent out of the public’s pockets and give them all to us. We need more drugs and hooker money.
Cowen: Right away boss, yessir boss.
Sorry. Back on topic.
Can you imagine going back to 1980 and showing someone Google Earth (After they get over seeing the flat screen colour monitor that wasn’t beige that is).
Even the iPhone would freak them out.
Future’s never as good as people thought it would be.
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/614958/What-People-Thought-the-Future-Would-Look-Like100-Years-Ago
I mean where’s our fucking trasnporter and hover-technology? Bastards!
I think the future is fighting for base survival under an atomic desert sun though, yes.
Holemaster
September 2nd, 2010 @ 7:12 pm
Sorry. Back on topic.
Can you imagine going back to 1980 and showing someone Google Earth
here ye go
again
http://www.thewildernessdowntown.com/#314+Morsemere+Ave,+Yonkers,+NY+10703,+USA
& at the picnic too
“I mean where’s our fucking trasnporter and hover-technology?”
there you go jo – transporter plus hovering people. plus explosions
Tough day today…that cheered me right up. Specially the backwards head bit.
Of course that was meant for the other mad doctor one…I should be in bed but I have a gig
I think HM had Michael J. Fox in mind. (What is is with cunts who put their initial in lights. And by cunts I mean americans. It’s their habit.)
as a mtter of interest…is this (a) out of date and/or useful?
jailbroken software here, http://quickpwn.com/ it’s very straight-forward. when you run quickpwn it tells you exactly what to do.
after jailbreaking (which installs cydia), run cydia and search for an app called PdaNet. install that.
you can now use your iphone as a wifi router, per instructions here http://www.junefabrics.com/iphone/index.php
if you’d like to tether through your USB, download the PdaNet desktop client from http://www.junefabrics.com/iphone/index.php and follow instructions.
fuck this future shit, Roger Federer is on court in NY
twenty. I saw this and thought of bringing your mutt for a stroll
http://i55.tinypic.com/jpx3j7.jpg
Funnily enough it’s so nice here today I reckon I’ve tanned up to just the same colour as that bloke
*thought of you bringing your mutt for a walk
excuse for one more back on topic(ish)
http://i54.tinypic.com/2zs8yn5.jpg
Is that Limerick itchy ?
The pic of dog walking ….
Yep maggot. That’s some fucker looking to talk to Willie O’Dea about lying about him in an affidavit
HM: I read the article on your comment about thieves using the old fashioned stick up method. Had they paid attention in school and gotten a good education they could have gone into politics and walked away with a damn sight more than a mere 300,000 euros. And with little worry about doing prison time.
excuse for one more back on topic(ish)
http://i54.tinypic.com/2zs8yn5.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSgiXGELjbc
yeah…just reading that too about AHern. fucking hell. he’s a religious fruitcake, like our prez, who is applying something that he see’s every sunday in church to society as a whole. donations.
every politician in positions of power in this country are little hitlers. and there is correlation between their fascism and catholic religious zeal. Ahern doesn’t exactly do politics for the common man. his latest justice bill is a sick joke. the department of justice is like the gestapo
jesus. i sound like glen beck with all this hitler bullshit. soory.
I’m very suspicious of Dermot Ahern. That man has plans.
Eamon Delaney makes me puke.
Yea HM, I’m very suspicious of Dermot Ahearn too. First he was on about ‘incentivising’ people to spend money, now it’s ‘taxing’ ATMs. For whose benefit? Not yours or mine, that’s for sure.
Stick a crucifix backwards up your weather-beaten spincter Dermo, along with your blasphemy bill, ya god-bothering bollix.
Dermot Ahern’s comments show just how out of touch our government is.
Does he not fucking realise that the people most likely to be using ATMs are the tax paying workers who are already, and will be for an eternity, carrying the weight of FFs economic ruin of this country.
Go FUCK yourself Dermo, you stupid Dundalk wanker!
It’s not about tax you cretins. It’s just a way of pushing people onto laser / VISA for everything so there’s a paper trail of everything you buy and everywhere you go.
Who the fuck needs UK style ID Cards when they know where you are ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
And I really mean it. Think of how many times each day you spend cash. Bus fare / Dart fare. Coffee in town before you start. Sandwich from the shop outside at lunch. Couple of pints after work (cause it’s Friday). Taxi fare. Kebab.
Think about it – FF are on a fucking raging boner thinking about this. If you know where everyone is the whole fucking time, you don’t need to police anything. This is only the tip of the iceberg. In 10 – 15 years, there will be no cash. Just quick swipe cards for everything.
CUNTS!
Dermot Ahern : “We’re the only country in Europe that doesn’t charge for money coming out of the hole in the wall and that, I think, is something that will have to be looked at.”
That’s very misleading. In the UK some ATMs charge but they are in the minority and are required to state that they charge, both next to the machine and on the screen and ask you if you wish to continue and pay a charge. They are usually in shops and are easily avoided in favour of ones that do not charge. It is very far from the norm to be charged.
I’m looking forward to the future when anyone, anywhere will be able to offer a personal opinion about MCD/Denis Desmond without a solicitor getting a hard-on phonecall…
Re ATM charges – those of us old enough will remember that ATMs were going to do away with bank charges, greatly reduce banking overheads, and ushered in the era of the gopher bank cashier with zero career prospects.
Hi Mr Major,
I took a photo or two of an alarmingly inventive begger. I know you will be mighty impressed with them. But I have a problem, I mailed them to myself from my blackberry and whilst you can clearly see everything on my phone the e-mailed copy is poxy well blurred up. Is there a way to fix this or use an alternate application to open them? They are a nasty combination of funny and repulsion. You will like them.