“So, customer service lady, the preceding part of the conversation which will not be repeated here on this blog because it’s too long and complicated, is the basis for my complaint. I should point out that despite the measured tone to my voice I am furious”.
“Well sir, I understand why that might be but the thing is I’m just going to repeat back to you what you just said in a highly patronising and-”
“But-”
“May I finish? I let you speak now you can show me the same courtesy? Can you?”
*seeth*
“Thank you. You see, the thing you just explained to me in great detail is exactly what I’m going to tell you. And there you go”.
“Do you think I’m stupid or something?”
“How dare you. I said nothing of the sort”.
“I didn’t say you said it. I asked if you thought I was stupid”.
“No, I don’t think that”.
“Ok then, can you please explain to me why you just explained to me what I explained to you at the start of this phone call?”
“Erm …”
“I. Understand. The. Facts. Perfectly. What I want to do is express to you my extreme displeasure at what has gone on and I am hoping, foolishly I know, that you might be able to do something about it. Can you do something about it?”
“Well, you see, all I can do is just explain the same thing to you again but this time try and sound as if I’m sorry for you but instead just come across as more patronising”.
“I thought as much. Do you have a supervisor there?”
“I’m afraid nobody is available right now”.
“And if I write a letter wishing, with all due respect, to address it to somebody with a little more seniority than you, to whom do I address it?”
“Customer Relations Unit”.
“Is that an android?”
“What?”
“It doesn’t sound like somebody’s name to me. Can you please give me a name to whom I can address my letter”.
“No. Just ‘Customer Relations Unit’”.
“And can you understand how that might be perceived as not particularly customer friendly?”
“No”.
“I didn’t think so. Well, I’m going to hang up now because you have been about as much use to me as a shoe”.
“If there’s anything we can do to help yo-”
*click*
—
This conversation has been repeated so that if, at some stage in the next 24-48 hours I am arrested for causing a disturbance at, in, or around a financial institution, there’s not a judge in the land that would convict me.
I hope.
Burn ‘em all, burn ‘em all to hell!
/sinister Simpsons leprechaun
Ah right,the bills get sent out this week..
bombs you say … oh … bills, yeah.
bills
That sounds remarkably similar to a conversation I had on the phone with one of the customer service androids from the Bank of Ireland quite recently.
It’s like they go to a special training school for techniques of obfuscation.
Having worked in customer service for several companies over the last few years I have to say that they’re extremely limited.
They can’t physically help you with most of your problems and in fact, they’re main function is to act as a smokescreen so people higher up do not have to deal with customers who are pissed off with this particular companies’ faulty/overpriced product or service.
It’s easy to take a verbal dump on them, but they really are the lowest rung on the ladder so you should always try to escalate your issue to a supervisor/manager who could help you with a reasaonable request if they choose to.
i feel stressed just reading that.
twenty post call. death to pretty much everyone
You gave up too easy twenty, if there isn’t a supervisor then ask for someone besides her. It’s obvious there is a concerted effort among companies and institutions to avoid dealing with people, because a lot of the time, a goodly percentage of said people will get frustrated and give up. Those automated answering systems are a perfect example, supposedly to help save time but in fact do the exact opposite. It’s just like the freedom of information scam- it does exactly the opposite of what it’s supposed to do.
Writing letters is futile. At time of commenting, anyway.
Sounds similar to a dream I had last night after returning home from work to receive a nice letter mortgage rate increase from Irish Permac*nt yesterday. Moonpigs of the highest order.
What Tomo said, also be very wary and if possible avoid any company claiming they can only offer e-mail based customer support.
I will not name one of my previous employers, but they went so far as to have us answer the phones pretending we were an entirely seperate third party working on behalf of our actual employer. Therefore we could only help customers with questions about depositing, but we didn’t have any info on how they could withdraw their funds…corrupt to say the least, you get the picture.
A nice way of getting to talk to a Supervisor is to ask for the person you’re dealing with’s name and inform them that you’ll be sending a letter to Chief Executive of the company. A silly letter like that is such an inconvenience to a Chief Executive there’ll be questions asked as to why this wasn’t dealt with in the first place.
They’ll then rather pass you on to their boss instead of dealing with it. That is if they won’t freely pass up who the Head of Customer Care is. But there are always ways of escalating things.
It’s just so frustrating that sensation that you’re banging your head against a wall with no sense that you’ll ever achieve anything by trying to complain to these people or reach a satisfactory conclusion. Makes you feel powerless.
Twenty – have you considered converting ?
Become a traveller.
Become?
Twenty, if it’s a financial institution, make a complaint in writing. By law they have to reply within a week, and that’s just annoying to them.
When they give their patronising useless response, complain to the Ombudsman. Regardless of who’s right, the company pays the Ombudsman for dealing with the complaint.
In fact, regardless as to whether you have a valid complaint, complaining to the Ombudsman is a sure fire way of annoying any financial services company. Which is the sport of kings.
Ooh and a Data Protection request, they hate those.
It couldn’t have been NTL, they don’t answer the phone
They also dont exist anymore stipes..
I shall be complaining vigorously – especially as I’ve just received a letter from them date August 10th advising me of interest rate changes.
The cunts.
At least it wasn’t some cunt in Mumbai Twenty. They really get on my tits.
Become?
Cheeky!
I can see Twenty trading in the Honda 50 for one of these, wandering the roads of Ireland, a Man free of mortgage and income tax, living of the largesse of passing American tourists!
Has the man in that pic just seen a tasty hedgehog ?
Not a hope, maggot.
Crank – thankfully we’re not they’re yet with this institution.
Some interesting points overall re: customer service. I know she’s front line and there as a buffer, have done CS in my time so know how it works, but godammit she was an annoying cunt
‘I know she’s front line and there as a buffer’
Sounds like you got one that actually thinks she’s something. You know the type, full of their own self-imoportance.
Has a lot going for it Twenty – no mortgage, no tax – you could phone that person back and tell her to go take a….
Ah yes, Telephone Customer Service where you usually get a wonderful combination of oxymoron and moron.
What Ireland needs is a few Harry Tuttles from the fillum Brazil. An urban terrorist repairman who operates outside the system, going round fixing things efficiently.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNFuySgwQ30
You should phone Joe Duffy – he’ll sort them out!
You should ring Joe Duffy and call him a cunt..It wont solve you problem but it would be funny as fuck..
The gas thing is…A lot of the time this website IS our Joe Duffy. People need a place to whine. This is the more intelligent people’s whine forum.
Yeah I said it!
Is anyone else out there unemployed and feeling shit?
twenty is the joe duffy of the interporn then, plop? ooh, don’t fancy your chances
Heh! I think there’s definitely something to it alright!
That’s how they vocalise their misgivings with no real benefit or gain… This is how we vocalise ours.
They have silly poetry….We have punfests.
I Guess at least with theirs they get sh!t done.
Operator ‘Carl’ has joined this chat session.
Welcome to Training Support
Carl Says:
Hello! My name is ‘Carl’. How can I help you?
Maurice Says:
Hi I want to get started with the course, I had problems with initial downloads and now I click on the study guide I get an error, so I clicked help
Carl Says:
ma’am the study guide is a book that will be mailed to you, in order to start the course you would need to click on the training program located above or below the study guide
Maurice Says:
ok miss, then there shouldn’t be a link for me to click. The fact that I’m in a page which represents my already paid-for course material and there’s a link there suggests “click it” but anyhow thanks for your help ma’am
Carl Says:
ma’am the reason the link is there is only to show you what you were charged for
Maurice Says:
a link is to click.. it should be just text otherwise, wouldn’t you say, miss?
It is something you might want to bring to their attention but anyway thanks ma’am.
Carl Says:
Ma’am, I will put it through as student feedback. And ma’am, I am a sir
Maurice Says:
Oh, so Carl isn’t a girls name?
Carl Says:
no ma’am.
Maurice Says:
Neither is Maurice
Carl Says:
My apologies sir,
Maurice Says:
You can go back to sleep now Carl
Carl Says:
Thank you for contacting us, have a wonderful day sir
BANG!
volume and click to hear mister nice hands
http://www.misternicehands.com/
Never, ever deal with any organisation over the phone.
Always use email. You can then resend it again WHEN required (as in when complaining).
It may seem to be a slower way of dealing with them, initially. But almost invariably it’s quicker and saves your sanity.
I’ve had great success with this, especially with Dublin County Coucil (where they’re fond of deleting pesky incoming emails).
This is where they train..
http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?title=popcopy&videoId=189931
twenty. I know I’m stating the obvious but – if you have a gripe with banker cunts and they are fobbing you off with their pawns you should speak to the financial ombudsman and/or regulator. Bankers, especially irish bankers (Gillian Bowler a banker?) like politicians and the vatican are vile cunts.
Vaguely heard that the spawn of CJ Haughey is telling the world that he thinks Ivor Calley is a –0. ISn’t it ironic, don’t you think? It’s like rainnnnn. Ah fuck it. Thank fuck I’ve a sense of humour. I would have fucked myself under a train ages ago if I was compus mentis.
In other news I was buying The Phoenix this evening and I was sure I saw the front of Gaydar Magazine on the lower level. Ryan Turbridy was posing for a gay magazine. Blue jeans, white shirt, a business jacket, or is it a sports jacket…I think he was pole dancing too. Abrown belt. Me bollix got shifty and told me to run. Milk, Phoenix, bag of glue. thanks.
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/ef7fbe7c-b154-11df-b899-00144feabdc0.html
Editorial of The Financial Times. One thing my friend Paco told me about the finacial times. “Be careful, it’ll turn you into a conservative.”
Interesting claim on Politics,ie
Radio na Gaeltachta has reported that FF Senator Brian O Donnell required stitches after a vicious attack last Sunday
http://www.politics.ie/fianna-fail/136707-fianna-fail-senator-needs-stitches-after-attack.html
I’ll post the bail money.
However, with Irish sovereign debt now topping €80 Billion (adding NAMA’s total brings the sovereign debt up to over 120 Billion), the country is in no position to inject an additional 10 Billion into AIB, never mind the 10 Billion Brian Lenihan is currently determined to pour down the Anglo Irish Bank drain. If both of these bail-outs are carried out, the national debt will be approaching 100% of GNP. As any economist will explain, at that stage the interest charge will be so large that the economy will be crippled and remains so without a massive debt forgiveness programme.
stolen from the phoenix markets/aib analysis.
thank god for brian lenihan. rte and the sunday indo say he’s trying hard.
the ft article was saying the same thing though that said the government -useless money-grabbing inbred cunts – should not wait for forgiveness it should tell anglo gamblers to go fuck.
Lenihan was Minister for Justice too. Another FF tool.
whaddya reckon?
http://www.itsjustlunchireland.com/
*scratch
Cheaper to use an honest hooker itchy.
“a buffer”
Now Boss, there’s no call for dem epithets.
“……as I was saying, [10 times already] my chances of paying the disputed amount would be much improved since I’m hardly using your service at all now, and I am well beyond the initial contract period, if you would please cancel service and stop sending me monthly bills for for a service I am hardly using….”