SUPER POWER

If I was an evil superhero one of the first things I would do is perfect the power to make frozen food be its age the minute it was defrosted.

So you have a delicious t-bone in the freezer, you take it out a couple of weeks later and it defrosts into a greenish/purple lump. Sort of like the way David Bowie aged in The Hunger.

You would fear me.

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21 Responses to SUPER POWER

  1. Icarus says:

    You would be the ruin of both the sperm banker and Captain Birdseye.

  2. Machristo says:

    Good. I never trusted that seafaring paedophile. You go ahead and fucking ruin him, Twenty.

  3. Twenty Major says:

    I will. The bastard.

  4. maggot says:

    How do they get away with selling fish fingers ? It’s a breach of the trade descriptions act.

  5. maggot says:

    I’d love super powers – I’d choose the ability to melt people that annoy me back down to a pool of primordial ooze. Then I’d splash about in it.

  6. itchybollix says:

    Frozen ostrich.

    odd timing. I was cleaning up my desktop last night and came across this. What the fuck was I doing?

    http://tinypic.com/r/6t0mqb/4

  7. itchybollix says:

    Nice dream maggot.

    I saw this on my desktop last night too, Dawkins on Channel 4 reminded me that it was there too

    http://tinypic.com/r/23hm5p5/4

  8. Conan Drumm says:

    “..evil superhero…”

    A supervillain? A hero to evilers?

    All hail the mighty DEFROSTOR!

  9. maggot says:

    Obviously with cunts like Harney it would be swimming rather than splashing.

  10. Tartar sauce is it? Far from fancy marks and Spencer tartar sauce you were reared Itchy.

    Clearly some people are unafffected by the recession.

  11. Jo says:

    Nobody could accuse Itchy of being affected!

    This truly is an evil superpower. Thank god I don’t have a placenta in the freezer anymore…

  12. itchybollix says:

    still on topic; jo cuts to the bone…

    I read this and thought of Bernard Goetz

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/25/michael-enright-stabbed-c_n_694285.html

    I’m off to the scratcher with the beeb and I’ll be dreaming of splashing about in the cesspool of foxnews.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00tg1y1

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00tgf11

  13. maggot says:

    mmmmm placenta omelette

  14. maggot says:

    About to watch “The House by the Cemetary” – apparently there is a deranged doctor ( is there any other kind ?) lurking in the basement for over a hundred years and he has to keep killing to stay alive.

    I’d never buy a house with a basement.

  15. SAm Crea says:

    Fuck the tartare sauce, Moet Chandon on stanby in the fridge? your not an incarnation of Fenyman by any chance are you itchy?

  16. SAm Crea says:

    Destroyer of old-ladies with vouchers;
    slayer of girls in public with Jammies on,
    guardian of 10 items or less…

    I am Supermarket-man!

  17. GLUAISTEAN says:

    YO MAGGOT – HARNEY SWIMMING? NEVER – IF SHE JUMPS INTO A POOL ALL THE WATER SPLASES OUT, IF SHE GOES TO THE SEASIDE THE TIDE CAN’T GET IN…AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD, WELL WHY DO YOU THINK TSUNAMI’S HAPPEN JSUT WHEN SHE DOES GO FOR A DIP IN GALWAY BAY?

  18. maggot says:

    Not the smartest Gluey – I’m taking about the volume produced when I melt her with my superpower.

  19. Loco Lobo says:

    Twenty, if you want to be a superhero you’ll have to run around wearing a cape. Or do you?
    Itchy, the libs who run New York took Bernies gun from him and never returned it and now they’ll take Mike’s shank. Damn Libs. And don’t be afraid of Fox News, the truth will set you free. Stay away from the Beeb and all those left wing propaganda mills and you’ll view the world from a sensible perspective.

  20. itchybollix says:

    SAm Crea
    August 26th, 2010 @ 2:17 am
    Fuck the tartare sauce, Moet Chandon on stanby in the fridge? your not an incarnation of Fenyman by any chance are you itchy?

    heh.

    i think i’d share that with fg. that bottle will be opened pretty soon. I have a feeling mountjoy is about to explode so maybe we can fill it full of lenihans, haugheys, aherns etc, etc, sunday indo, rant, rant.

    I think I figured that Ireland laoned Greece a billion dollars a few months ago at lower rate of interest than we’re paying for our loans. Lenihan; master of the universe. that dozy cunt should walk out the door and leave the building.

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