Some highlight from the press release for RTE’s new schedule:
Hector and Tommy do Haiti – the madcap pair visit the stricken nation to see how life has changed since the earthquake and to see if their antics can help raise a smile or two. In episode 1 they struggle to find decent wifi.
Tubbers on the Grassy knoll – Ryan Tubridy continues his JFK obsession and gets a chance to plug his upcoming book by traveling to Dallas to present a series of talk-shows direct from the grassy knoll made infamous in the assassination. His first guest will be John Hinckley via video link-up to his prison cell.
Ireland’s next cop model – sexy lady Gardai are put through their paces by Laura Bermingham and Glenda Gilson to see who will win the modelling contract worth a few photoshoots on in the Sunday Independent’s glossy Sunday magazine.
Home and far and away - a real life documentary featuring Irish people who have been forced to emigrate. Regular appearances will include Sean, an architect now working in Sydney, Australia and Colm, a trainee priest who has gone to London to work as an escort. Narrated by DJ Spiral.
Blame it on the weatherman – a new crime drama staring Don Wycherley as an avuncular former TV weatherman turned introspective, alcoholic private-eye after the brutal death of his wife and daughter.
Off the Hook – a new weekly sports interview show presented by George Hook who gets to the heart of matters. In the first show he finds out why Pat Spillane doesn’t have Sky+ and also features a quick fire Q&A with Thierry Henry about that handball and why he doesn’t have Sky+.
Ireland’s Greatest Person – After a public vote the final five involved will be John Hume, Michael Collins, Bono, James Connolly and Mary Robinson. Yes, Bono.
Ireland’s gravest person – John Banville investigates the most serious person in Ireland and at the end of the 21 part series declares it to be himself.
Wheeling in the years – Sean Kelly (subtitled) looks back at the classic years of Irish cycling when he, Stephen Roche and Martin Early ruled the roost.
The Saturday Night Show – Brendan O’Connor gets his own talk show.
Also, a newly revised 30′ Angelus, Podge and Rodge present a new afternoon show aimed at women while Claire Byrne is the new presenter of the Den, The View, The Panel, The Clinic and The Sunday Game.
Grand Designs – A show featuring fairly OK, not bad, just average house designs presented by that Bannon architect fella.
Nonsense, these shows are far too good…
Best of the ‘Weather’
A compilation of some of the funniest and most zany weather bulletins from the 1960s up to today including “Slipping on the ice guy’ and the Jean Byrne ‘Dominatrix’ bulletin of Christmas Day 2009.
Murphy’s Micro Jism-
Heartbraking Documentary on Mike Murphys failing sperm count
It could be worse, at least its Seoige free TV.
Hobbs’ son’s choice – Eddie Hobbs’ son has to decide between saving the nation from bankruptcy or saving his dad from a pit of rabid Anglo Irish Bank executives.
Vodka,Vodka all around and not a drop for Twink:
Twink has to go to every shite opening night in Dublin’s Theatres over the course of a Month but is not allowed get wrecked once..
Let’s Talk about Necks
Profile of some serious cunts in modern Irish History..
Starts with Charles Haughey..
I’m a Celebrant, Get Me Out of Here:
Convicted child fiddling Priests and Bishops try to survive life in Mountjoy.
East to West
Cathal Ó Searcaigh travels from Nepal to the Caribbean stopping off in as many poverty stricken areas as he can.
Can’t believe that cunt o’connor got a show…
It will be him just sitting on the can farting… asking the audience what they are looking at!
All a long way from garda Patrol, Landmark and Mart and Market. Does anyone remember all those liver fluke remedy adds. I can hear a culchie voice saying “Chenowunction,its a quare name but great shtuff. And someone going 10-10-20.
I want to see Brendan O’Connor and David McSavage in a fight to the death. Live and commercial free.
I think it should be stipulated that the winner is also killed.
the asylm
10 mentally ill members of the public spend 12 grueling weeks in a house competing for proper medical treatment. hosted by Brian Dowling and Samantha Mumba.
Via Suicide Bombing by a celebrity selected via phone vote by the viewers at home.
Dogs V Junkies.
Followed by Midgets V Dwarfs
hosted by Marty Morrissey
Big Bogger:
Twelve accountancy students from small midland market towns live in a bedsit in Rathmines on a diet of microwave sausages and rashers and Buckfast. Contestants are voted out for failing to score in Coppers. Show runs for years.
Wheeling in the years – Sean Kelly (subtitled)….
haha
What the fuck is it with RTE?? They take two of the most talentless fuckwits, namely McSavage and O’Connor and give both Cunts a show.
Ireland is abound with talent and yet these Cunt buckets continue to get air time!
A show featurine midget tossing would go over big. Winner gets an all expense paid week in Port a Potty, Haiti.
monkey tennis!!!!!
pub crawling with ben dunne!!
New Garda Patrol,Live from Fagins Drumcondra.
You’ll never get onto RTE unless you know the right people. It’s nothing at all to do with talent.
It’s enough to make drive your car into the doors of RTE just after the Late Late Show.
Station chiefs have Sile on the radar as beauty considers radio switch
SILE Seoige has set tongues wagging that she is on the verge of becoming a full-time radio presenter.
Now there’s REAL talent.
Charlie switches to radio as Marian’s stand-in
Charlie Bird has flown on to Marian Finucane’s perch with the news hack set to take over from RTE’s €570k star for a month of her summer holidays.
you really could’nt make this shit up could you. €570k star? fucking complete waste of money.
Operation Transformation returns … but can Kathryn fill Gerry Ryan’s shoes?
RTE’s hit show Operation Transformation is returning to our TV screens, despite the passing of the show’s former presenter Gerry Ryan.
Hopefully she’ll go the same way.
Ivor’s in the money
PROBES: As three investigations loom into his expenses claims, Callely is guaranteed €159,000 lump sum and €56,000-a-year pension if he quits
Like i said ,you could’nt make it up.
Live from the Dáil would be fascinating viewing.
Operation Transformation returns … but can Kathryn fill Gerry Ryan’s shoes?
Kathryn Tomas? She’s lovely
Operation Transformation returns … but can Kathryn fill Gerry Ryan’s shoes?
Kathryn Tomas? She’s lovely
Peader. I meant onwards and upwards,just like her fat predecessor!
Celebrity Deathmatch:
Ryan Tubridy versus the Pepperami cartoon.
Cunts turned down my latest pitch. ‘Wookies- the Celtic Connection’.
Fuckin’ woooooarrraffaaaggggggghhhhhhh. Murr? Murrrrrr…
graffiti times back when the tour de france came through malahide. 4 a.m. hard at work with california sunbursts teeming through our blood -we had POLICE STATE on the wall across from the red school in no time and
SEAN
KELLY
IS
A
CUNT
on the road. we got it on tv the next day from the chopper too until they copped it and panned back to the bridge.
will he interview paul kimmage?
rte makes me puke; a fucking disgraceful apology for a public service. pure and utter mind-numbingly populist shit throughout. rte, the drug of the nation. and child-abusing organisations get to play their litle ditty for free too. rte, get off the air now.
Holemaster
August 5th, 2010 @ 6:46 pm
Celebrity Deathmatch:
Ryan Tubridy versus the Pepperami cartoon.
heh
what the fuck did we ever do to deserve the pack of talentless cunts destroying our senses? we have to endure such shit from a pack of talentless cunts who think they’re adequate at what they do
Miriam O’Callaghan or Jeremy Paxman? um.
Ryan FIANNA FAIL Turbridy or My dead granny? um
Marian “I’m in such a casual lazy rut that I realy don’t give a fuck anymore, so much so that I cough incessantly straight into the mic with no apology to my audience or my poor sound engineer” Finucane or Kirsty Young? um.
Aine “I want to tell you all about me and my kids and me, me, me and I don’t want to hear you answer my questions, which I keep interrupting with other questions. I’m probably the worst interviewer on rte and that says alot” Lawlor or John Humphrys? um
I fucking detest the fact that we can’t opt out of the licence fee to pay these totally useless cunts
Holemaster, I’m a Celebrant is a stroke of genius.
And I love the Irelands’s Gravest Man one, that’s lovely. I would watch that.
perricrisp
August 5th, 2010 @ 6:13 pm
Ivor’s in the money
PROBES: As three investigations loom into his expenses claims, Callely is guaranteed €159,000 lump sum and €56,000-a-year pension if he quits
Like i said ,you could’nt make it up.
perricrisp
August 5th, 2010 @ 6:13 pm
Ivor’s in the money
PROBES: As three investigations loom into his expenses claims, Callely is guaranteed €159,000 lump sum and €56,000-a-year pension if he quits
Like i said ,you could’nt make it up.
ah bollix. ranted on about how FF and The PDS did make it up so that they could pillage the public purse for their own persoal financial gain but then mis-clicked…
to sum up – When Bertie Ahern made John O’Donoghue the minister for culture he told him to “go and enjoy yourself”
FF/PD/Independent – Lowry/Cooper-Flynn/Healy-Rae (40 grand special independents allowance on top of their 100grand) a rule/bribe made made up by FF/PD. these greedy scum (to use that cunt paul williams word) have run this country into the wall.
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid62612474001?bctid=407524038001
e.g. of how shit rte are. imagine HOW LOUD Charlie Bird would be reporting on this
Irish robot wars
Sharon Ni Bholain v Grainne Seoige
My Big Fat Obnoxious Taoiseach
I live here, get me out of here
I like john banville. I think I want to pet him.
only way to get a job in rt fucking e is take it up the hole
this is funny http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7nI_5AoHvc
1. mellow
August 5th, 2010 @ 5:23 pm
monkey tennis!!!!!
heh, i’d pay for that too.
wimbledon finalist who say’s it’s important to play with passion and show passion. up there with mcenroe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmdRrDqErkY
i jumped too otd.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/06/programmes_enl_1146749877/html/1.stm
Southside Horrified:
Over-privileged kids from the leafy southside suburbs are made to walk alone at night through Darndale and Coolock carrying a rugby ball while wearing a ‘Rock jersey collars up and openly texting on an iPhone.
iCunts. Singing Irelands Call. Though they may be safer in coolock/darndale than at nighclubs on their side of the liffey. That case was well weird and worthy of a Chandler novel.
the split infinitive
to boldly go
newsnight
you don’t get this on rte. you get marian finucane trousering 5 grand a weeek for asking the minister for finance how he likes his eggs in the morning, spitting into her microphone and wiping her mouth.
Fail Wars.
Highly qualified Irish students attempt to sail a famine ship to the Antarctic to help protect whales.
Sea Shepherd ram them off Ireland’s Eye and machine gun all survivors.
I like this bird!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKjxp6L7UDM
I live here, get me out of here
heh, really like this.
Just watched the Thick of it! If there’s one good thing RTE have done this year, this is the programme. Classic.
Any truth in the rumour that Bertie Ahern is coaching Naomi Campbell?
Jesus – imagine the offspring if they bred itchy.
Knackers with attitude.
a terrible beauty is born
She was annoyed that she was forced into giving evidence in the trial of an alleged war criminal. What a stupid selfish cunt. And Bertie Ahern. Stupid selfish cunt. Two stupid selfish cunts on the stand.
She usually chins somebody when upset
Mary Robinson?
I always though it would be nice to get one of those nodding dogs for the back window of the car and replace the head with hers
imagine if you did cross bertie with that cunt naomi campbell’ you would get a slimey two faced horrible corrupted cross dressing bastard who would give you great head and charge you vat’
McSavage and O’Connor… Jesustittyfuckingchrist…
The Knacker Factor
28 Knackers battle it out to see who is the best at fighting, training scruffy great shaggy fucking dogs to grab chickens, decorate forty foot chrome skips with lids in the most garish designs, draw unemployment while covering half of Dundalk with a two inch layer of tarmac, and having as many fucking offspring as they can pack into a five year span.
Billy the Thlid
Hilarious take on Billy the Kid. Watch Billy’s antics as he tries to reach for his six shooters, mount his trusty steed and lasoo some steeds.
hah
Thank god for wuh wuh wuh. tvshack.cc I say!
I’m so happy Brian won the Ultimate BB. Can’t think of a better winner! Well done Brian.
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