Tourism suggestions
Posted on | July 22, 2010 | 40 Comments
So fewer people are coming to Ireland. Numbers are 25% down apparently and tourism bosses want the €10 tourist tax scrapped. Which kind of misses the point. That tax is no expensive, it’s everything else. What would you suggest?
Get hotels to do away with the ludicrous per person sharing rate and just give a room rate. That PPS thing does my head in.
Encourage bars and restaurants to offer real value, especially in Dublin. Gone are the days where location = profits. Fuck you and your €15 salad. Buy drinks all afternoon, get a round on the house. Requires a huge cultural change but it’s better than twiddling your thumbs, right?
Better standards of customer service from those in the service industry is an absolute must. I’ve had some dodgy experiences, I can only imagine what it’s like for tourists for whom language might be an issue, or dealing with people who know they’re tourists. I mean, if they treat ‘natives’ the way some of them do … tourists must get a hard time.
Investment in tourist attractions? We have the old reliables but what about something new? Look at what the Aquarium and the City of Arts & Sciences have done for Valencia. We could keep Biffo – half man, half manatee, in a tank somewhere.
Any more?
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40 Responses to “Tourism suggestions”
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July 22nd, 2010 @ 4:23 pm
”Fuck you and your €15 salad. Buy drinks all afternoon, get a round on the house”
In Madrid tapas bars, you buy a round of drinks and get food for free, deep-fried fish, salads etc…
Never saw anything like it anywhere else. It was awesome.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 4:24 pm
Quite common in many parts of Spain but not Catalunya for they are the Iberian Scots with their T-rex arms.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 4:28 pm
Re-create Temple Bar in a large field in Westmeath with armed sentries around the perimeters. Then restore the real Temple Bar back to the days when there were no stags or hens and you were afraid to go west of Parliament Street.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 4:36 pm
Put a fence around Limerick and open it as a safari park (with full hunting rites for all).
July 22nd, 2010 @ 4:37 pm
Rites – Rights. Interesting, Mr. Freud….
July 22nd, 2010 @ 4:46 pm
Legalise prostitution & drugs. 30 VAT rate on them.
Tourism would increase alright. Recession gone.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 4:47 pm
Bar/resturants is a must.
and more live music.
focking no variety for musical entertainment in dublin.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 4:51 pm
Make it sunny and warm the time.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 5:20 pm
Put the Luas on stilts so tourists can shelter from the rain under it.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 5:29 pm
SCRAP THE SMOKING BAN!! We would be flooded from the UK.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 5:33 pm
City of Arts and Sciences actually fucked Valencia over financially and they’re not getting much return on their investment anymore. The place is practically deserted all the time these days.
Still, a new attraction for Dublin would be good. Surely they could work something in down towards the Point where there’s an awful lot of development going on anyways…
July 22nd, 2010 @ 6:05 pm
Agreed about the PPS thing,a load of money grabbin bollox.
I was in Portugal there recently,i booked through 1800hotels (who had cancelled my booking without telling me,because they went bust)i found out at the desk of the Tiara Park hotel that said booking was cancelled,we would have to pay up front for the room.
We got the room for a snip as its a 5 star hotel,€550 for 7 nights.. We had checked the price on the hotel web site the week before and it had goen up to €800! .Holiday ruined right?
No,they gave us the room (actually better than the one we booked for the original deal price,which they didnt have to do..
Would this happen over here??
Would it fuck!
Also:
I believe they are lining Biffo up for the next series of “Inside Nature’s Giants”
July 22nd, 2010 @ 6:15 pm
Leprachauns and beautiful Irish maidens meeting and greeting at airports oughta do it.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 6:26 pm
In China they had two giant pandas mating in a cage. Maybe we could go with Biffo and Harney.Or if everyone pretends to be a culchie, cos they`re the real Irish that the Yanks like.Or cattle and poultry roaming free, with parish priests and strong silent types gazing wistfully into the distance. One, and I mean only one very attractive girl with a load of old biddies and ugly wagons as hangers on. A simple fisherman who knows all the best places to poach.An eccentric Englishman that everyone likes,whilst hating all the other English.
C`mon everyone, THINK! We can do this.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 6:52 pm
If we put our government in a zoo people would travel from all over the world to see it. Biffo picking ticks off Mary Coughlan, Mary Harney scratching her arse by reversing against a wall, Michael Woods saying his prayers, Ivor Calelly saying he wants to live in his other cage, Jackie Healy Rae aping an ape…
July 22nd, 2010 @ 6:59 pm
“Put a fence around Limerick and open it as a safari park (with full hunting rites for all).”
Raaaaawrrrr.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 7:38 pm
I rest my case.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 7:54 pm
Don’t feed the animals Crank, they might bite.
Raaaaawrrrr.Raaaaawrrrr.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 8:51 pm
change the name of the country to hawaii or barbados or somewhere people would actually be arsed going, then sit back and hope there are as many gullible fuckwits out there as there are here
July 22nd, 2010 @ 9:11 pm
Set fire to the country, claim the insurance and move to Australia.
By the by Fintans, they’ve already opened a leprechaun museum in town recently, if I’m not mistaken..
July 22nd, 2010 @ 9:42 pm
a good fisherman has no need to poach FCM. hi anne hope your getting plenty
July 22nd, 2010 @ 10:06 pm
See Anne, I laid the bait and on you came. Raaaaawrrrr indeed.
Darby O’Gill for President!
July 22nd, 2010 @ 10:10 pm
I was thinking along the fish line too. Whales everywhere. I was thinking that lots of tourists like to hunt, kill, fire off guns at moving animals, and humans too. Americans, Israelis, Norwegians – they just like killing and stealing. So I reckon breed and/or import killer sharks and plonk them off the coast of Dublin and off the coast of Galway 3 or 4 times a year for the fucked-up blood-thirsty tourist brigades to hunt and kill. But. Killer sharks with beards on them pretending to be muslims for the yanks and, say, childrens faces painted on sharks for the Israeli Defence Force to hunt and kill and just as a piece of meat for the scandis.
I don’t think sharks are an endangered species. A kind of racist, xenophobic theme park with punch. The locals will be there chasing and killing Polish and Nigerian killer sharks. Jesus. This could work.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 10:59 pm
Oh god, Harney and Biffo mating in a cage…!
Would that also be in the airport?
focking no variety for musical entertainment in dublin.
Ahem. Purty Kitchen, Friday nights, the Juice. And Wednesdays, minus drums.
SuperGrover, anything to add to that?
July 22nd, 2010 @ 11:22 pm
nina nastasia, the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard, she’s a new album out and will play Dublin. buy and go. saw her play in the small joint in POD last year. A guitar, a bottle of whiskey and a set-list pulled from the few of us there. steve albini produced her 1st album. say’s it all.
http://fat-cat.co.uk/fatcat/artistInfo.php?id=108
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0mXOaAfFuw&feature=PlayList&p=C6909949FDC41AAC&playnext=1&index=28
the lack of variety in musical venues is due to the fact that there are no more ballsy music promoters. remember HOPE Promotions? bringing bands like fugazi, chumbabwaba, alice donut,nofx, circle jerks, to the white horse, barnstormers, the new inn, fox and pheasant…. 21st century kids have things more fucked up then usual and they ain’t doing shit about it with a music scene. it’s quite sad seeing such a docile bunch of losers about these days.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 11:24 pm
Crank,
I will always come to the defense of our beautiful city.
Now, just how Twenty allows these comments is beyond me. Twenty I hold you responsible. Your conscience must be eating at you with those horrible things that are said about Limerick. The lord may forgive you if you repent – hard.
July 22nd, 2010 @ 11:41 pm
Bock is from limerick. nuff said
July 22nd, 2010 @ 11:56 pm
And Twenty’s from Dublin, god love him.
July 23rd, 2010 @ 1:06 am
Put a fence around Limerick and open it as a safari park (with full hunting rites for all).
@ crank – crankiest cunt on the net, fuck off you juvenile cheap shot cunt.
Something around Blarney, something monolithic but kissable or edible like Harney’s Stone.
*light summer coat*
July 23rd, 2010 @ 1:45 am
Hello?
July 23rd, 2010 @ 1:45 am
Fuck it then.
July 23rd, 2010 @ 2:09 am
I might try a day trip to Donegal.
July 23rd, 2010 @ 3:16 am
I know a couple of gay panthers in Limerick that have a date with Crank’s face.
@maggot Fucking hell..what next? Hoisting a tricolour over the smouldering ruins of Belfast City Hall? Semtexting for fun and profit?
It’s a slippery Fenian slope your on pal.
July 23rd, 2010 @ 7:54 am
How about knocking down those god-awful government buildings on the Liffy and seeing how much of Wood Quay we could recover and restore?
At least the land might start actually paying for itself.
July 23rd, 2010 @ 8:37 am
@Jo “Ahem. Purty Kitchen, Friday nights, the Juice. And Wednesdays, minus drums.
SuperGrover, anything to add to that?”
Last night was The Ivy House in Drumcondra. FRIDAY 13TH AUGUST, ODESSA, Dublin 2. PROUDFOOT supported by Penfold DM with Late DJ, a mer tenner in for the whole night.
Thanks Jo.
July 23rd, 2010 @ 9:08 am
I met some German friends in temple bar recently on their first visit here, was in three of the establishments over the course of the evening, mediocre, overpriced, and dull. The standard of food in your average pub here is atrocious compared to just about every other European city I’ve been in. It’s the old “ah, sure it’ll do” attitude.
July 23rd, 2010 @ 9:26 am
its all so simple i cant believe none of the above has mentioned it, if we want people to come to this country in their millions to spend loads of money and the Government gets loads of tax euros there is only one simple thing we have to do
LEGALIZE IT.
July 23rd, 2010 @ 7:33 pm
Couldn’t agree more Bosco, but I still think folks would prefer Amsterdam fot it’s likeable people, better weather, more interesting scenery, better food, legendary heritage, etc
July 23rd, 2010 @ 10:08 pm
Our elevensome is coming to $pend a week. Dublin-Cork-Kerry-Clare-Dublin. You’re welcome.
July 26th, 2010 @ 10:57 am
[...] other recently that inspired this particular rant. The first was from Twenty Major in his “Tourism Suggestions” blog post. Straight out, he touches on a subject I wrote about here some time ago – [...]