Sweet ones

I woke this morning extremely tired because I had one of those really real dreams. In this dream I was out until 5am drinking like a fish. Even in my dream I was giving out to myself saying ‘You stupid cunt, out till 5am drinking and you know you have to get up in a couple of hours. When will you ever learn?’

So I woke up with a hangover and that empty, hollow feeling you get when you haven’t had enough sleep, even though the reality is that I was asleep before midnight and all I had to drink was a shifty gin & tonic (slice of orange, natch).

I didn’t get the boost I got the week before last when I dreamt that the lead singer of Living in a Box was responsible for the BP oil spill. In an effort to ingratiate myself with an American man who was thinking of investing in my portable heart transplant business I hunted him down and killed him. However, instead of everyone being really happy with me for two reasons (I’d got the bloke who started the oil spill and killed a terrible 80s act) they were all really cross and sentenced me to life in prison on Spike Island.

Waking up from that one was a bit of a relief, especially as Barry Egan was the Warden at the prison. If there’s anything worse than being denied freedom for the rest of your life it’s knowing that Barry Egan can make your life more miserable.

I’d tie the sheets together and dangle from the window bar if that were my future.

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41 Responses to Sweet ones

  1. razzer says:

    barry egan. what a useless piece of skin. couldve been worse – was gavin friday the governer twenty?

    and did you see ol’ holy joe on telefis eirean last night – little oul ones pressing envelopes of cash into his paw. cunt

  2. porridge says:

    sleep drinking. if the lads in ron’s start complementing you on your natty paisley pyjamas, elegant dreesing gown and the fact you can see too much through the gap in the front when you sit down, you know what’s been happening

  3. Eat cheese before you go to bed and dream the dreams of the demented.
    So much cheaper than drugs.

  4. porridge says:

    “eat cheese” but only if it has the national dairy council sticker on it (don’t eat the sticker – not safe for animals). poor old paul o’connell would be devastated otherwise – twat

  5. Dave says:

    “I’d tie the sheets together and dangle from the window bar if that were my future.”

    Go out in a blaze of strangulated wanking?

    Barry would certainly like that.

  6. Twenty Major says:

    heh, he’d lap at my deathly discharge

  7. plop says:

    Strangulated wanking! HA! Doin the Hutchence Shuffle…. aka the Carradine Crank

  8. DD says:

    The lead singer of Living in a Box was Richard Darbyshire. I wish I didn’t know that right off the top of my head.

  9. Damien says:

    What a pimple on the arse of humanity that Egan Cunt is…

    He fell off of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

  10. “The lead singer of Living in a Box was Richard Darbyshire.”

    I wonder where he is now. It’d be ironic if he were homeless, wouldn’t it?

  11. moss says:

    ‘tie the sheets together and dangle from the window bars’
    would like to see Jedward do this in my dreams or preferably in real life

  12. Twenty Major says:

    I wonder where he is now. It’d be ironic if he were homeless, wouldn’t it?

    heh

  13. Twenty Major says:

    Richard is still involved in the music industry, developing new artists and working closely with girlfriend and vocal coach Sonia Jones, running a successful songwriting and vocal coaching workshop.

    http://new.uk.music.yahoo.com/blogs/where_are_they_now/292/living-in-a-box/

  14. dude says:

    you would have to take out egan’s eyes and cut off his fingers before taking the plunge, one final selfless act!

  15. Holemaster says:

    Used to get the teeth falling out dream a lot. Not so much these days. They’re awful.

  16. Jo says:

    Oh. now I remember I had vaguely bad dreams this morning. I don’t remember what they were but now I have a disconcerted feeling.

    It’s not half so poetic as yours.

  17. Twenty Major says:

    Mostly I forget my dreams, especially the cinematic efforts. Even so they leave you feeling something during the day, mood affecting almost. Odd.

  18. Twenty Major says:

    Used to get the teeth falling out dream a lot. Not so much these days. They’re awful.

    Oh, I had that one last week. You’ve just reminded me of it.

  19. Holemaster says:

    I used to have flying dreams where I could hoosh myself up off the ground and then fly above all the houses and into town. I was always paranoid about hitting the ESB cables – an example of my creative mind fighting with my cautious mind.

    Story of my life.

  20. Jo says:

    Teeth falling out are classic. Nasty, though. The closest I’ve got to dreaming of flying is a glide downhill through soft pink cloud, but only about 6 inches off the ground :)

    HM, maybe the ESB cables represent the boundaries of Ireland, and how they hold you back. Fly above them!

  21. Conan Drumm says:

    Once that new legislation is in someone will do for Egan, “He was here on a pretext and I caught him pilfering my life story.”

  22. boscospants says:

    im sure i do dream but i never remember them its really fucking annoying

  23. divneymathers says:

    I get the teeth falling out dream quite regularly.
    Glad it’s not just me.

  24. itchybollix says:

    I saw possibly the worst film I’ve ever seen last night and it was about dreams. Inception. Two and a half hours of total tripe, similar to Bertie Ahern in not having one redeeming feature. Shame; I’m a fan of Di Caprio.

  25. Twenty Major says:

    I wonder is that a genuine worry about teeth falling out or symbolic of something else.

    Itchy – no surprise, for 2 reasons.

    1 – Most of his other films are fucking shite

    2 – Apey like it.

  26. fill3rup says:

    Itchy,Did you and SG go on a date last night?

  27. itchybollix says:

    we did. he didn’t put out, the frigid fuck. lucky for me I brought along another gamey friend

  28. fill3rup says:

    yeah Johnny5 said something similar alright

  29. Jo says:

    Of course teeth dreams are symbolic, unless you’re in the middle of real life dental issues.

    There’s varying explanations out there, not all terribly convincing, but one that makes a certain sense is that it’s about insecurity about trasitioning from one phase to the next – like ageing, or losing milk teeth and leaving childhood etc.

    They could also be about power and force, or rather, powerlessness.

    But I suppose as well, teeth are what we use to process our food with, I think I read once the dreams were about lack of control, maybe lack of ability to process or cope with what you’re dealing with.

    It probably all points to anxiety in some form or other.

  30. Jo says:

    Funny, I’ve had two glowing recommendations from bright and reputable sources… different strokes…

  31. SuperGrover says:

    I don’t go to third base on a first date…

    Footloose, we’re footloose…

  32. SuperGrover says:

    Jo, ’twas the equivalentof somebody shouting LOOK HOW CLEVER I AM at you for 2 and half hours, while playing repetitive shite techno at you.

    Shudder.

  33. itchybollix says:

    Jo Says:
    July 20th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
    Funny, I’ve had two glowing recommendations from bright and reputable sources… different strokes…

    That’s what Cowen said about the Neary advice on Anglo and the Bertie advice on the Bertie Bowl. Though strokes is the operative word with FF.

  34. itchybollix says:

    SG? Did you get the flowers I sent this a.m.?

    Boing

    Boing

    Boing

  35. SuperGrover says:

    If you think a crappy bunch of geraniums from the garage are going to win me around, you’re sadly deluded.

  36. itchybollix says:

    that’s ok SG; it’s the thought that counts though eh?

    for all you teethgrinders

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oH_yivWallk

    on another note, The Killer Inside Me is an excellent film. 10/10

  37. DD says:

    Havn’t had a dream in a long time
    See, the life I’ve had
    Would make a good man bad
    Tra la la la la la la la la

  38. on the dry says:

    had you a bad dream bull’ i dont dream bird

  39. Drunk Kitteh says:

    Fuck, what films DO ye like?

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