Warp speed, Mr Zulu

It’s been a trying week so I won’t mention the rage I got listening to Brian Cowen on the Last Word last night. I also won’t call him a fat, incompetent fuck.

Nor will I mention the fact that Senator Eoghan Harris, Bertie stooge extraordinaire, made me want to tear my own face off with his ‘analysis’ afterwards. I shan’t mention a thing about how easy it is to make excuses and condemn others for their concerns when you’re raking it in off the taxpayer’s dime.

Instead I shall accentuate the postive and the World Cup preparations in Ron’s are all complete. The flat-screen TV we got for the last one has been donated to a worthy cause (my Playstation, so I can watch TV and play video games at the same time late at night), and we rocked up to Harvey Norman, did a bit of bargaining and walked out with a 50″ job for less that €700.

A Sky official wandered into Ron’s one day and told him off for not having a special pub subscription, required to show football in his bar. Ron had a word and last week a free HD box was installed along with a 14 year free trial period.

He says he’s not that bothered by what happens but is looking forward to see Maradona cocked off his tits on the sidelines trying to ensure Lionel Messi is nobbled so he doesn’t take his place as a football icon.

The rest of us will watch the games and call this player shit and that player shit and then when he scores we’ll say we always knew he had something about him. There are those who will bemoan the fact that Ireland aren’t playing but frankly I think the world can live without the silky skills of McShane and Andrews and Zindine Kilbane.

It’s not as if we won’t have a vested interested though. England are in it.

I’m up for whoever they’re playing.

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70 Responses to Warp speed, Mr Zulu

  1. can't be arsed says:

    morning

    gonna watch some much needed fubble after i go out and play spot the eejits various here for Bloomsday

    bye

  2. Radge says:

    I’d shout for England if it wasn’t for the blanket arrogance of the media. After all, I’m in thrall to English football for nine months of the year – I don’t really go in for that aul’ enemy bollocks.

  3. fill3rup says:

    Shit,i missed it,you wouldnt have a bit of audio would you,i havent been in a raging fit yet this morning?

  4. The Cap'n says:

    Same here. This ‘auld enemy’ stuff is bollocks and doesn’t explain the oppression of the last 100 years.

    There are people in Cork who wear Man U shirts because (a) a Corkman played for them (b) their shirts are the same colour as Cork county colours so it saves a few bob.

    I’d regard them as much more annoying than England fans.

  5. Holemaster says:

    Those buzzing blowpipe fecking yokes they have are going to become the sound the SA World Cup. They are really fa-hucking annoying.

  6. rapemachine says:

    i recognise the massive hypocrisy of fervently supporting an english club team yet always willing failure on the national team, what can i say? im a hypocrite.

  7. Twenty Major says:

    Much as it pains me to say it, I’m with the machine here. Far too many cunts in the English team.

    I hope JT gets a vuvuzela stuck up his hole

  8. SAm Crea says:

    Love the way the papers and sky news build themselves up into a frenzy about winning the world cup… and then go nuts when they dont.. they will be calling for Capello’s head by months end…

  9. Tis not that we have anything against england ..

    The fucking thing is putting up with the bias commentary (lineaker ..maggggggnificent goal ) and then if they win the fucking thing they wont shut up about

    There bad loosers and even worse winners …. gettttttt to fuck

  10. sniffle says:

    Also , “never doubted him”

  11. I’m tellin’ yis, this is going to be North Korea’s year. Mark my words.

  12. sniffle says:

    Very comfortable with the dichotomy of supporting united and hating engerland.

    Fuck off cunts

  13. Radge says:

    Suppose there aren’t even any Liverpool players to get behind. Gerrard’s off to Spain, Carrragher’s 87-years-old and, even if he did steal a toilet seat, Glen Johnson’s still a Spurs player waiting to happen.

  14. Radge says:

    I’d love to see the North Korean media coverage during the tournament, where they get the DMZ’s equivalent of Skinner and Baddiel to ‘recreate’ the events in South Africa for general consumption.

  15. maggot says:

    God Bless America!

  16. fill3rup says:

    On North Korean TV…

    North Korea will win the World Cup.And the Population will actually believe it..I shit you not.
    All Players and Officials of North Korean Football Asociation will perish in a tragic plane crash..so there are no leaks..
    Off to Paddy Powers it is..

  17. Twenty Major says:

    Glen Johnson’s still a Spurs player waiting to happen.

    heh

    I’m hoping for a USA v North Korea grudge match.

  18. Chema says:

    What do ye think of Spain’s chances? I’m thinking I should support them as I live there at the moment, though their media have been annoyingly smug and complacent since winning the Euro championships in 2008.

  19. maggot says:

    On the radio yesterday – some punter has placed £55,000 each way on France.

  20. fill3rup says:

    On the radio yesterday – some punter has placed £55,000 each way on France.

    Peadar?

  21. Twenty Major says:

    I think Spain will win it.

    Whoever put that much money on France is retarded.

  22. The Cap'n says:

    Netherlands is available at 14/1. Thats a good bet with the quality they have in their team and an ideal base with lots of Afrikaners turning their games into home matches.

    Providing they don’t selfdestruct with players walking out etc and if they get out of their group I think they’ll be hard to stop.

    Van Persie is fresh and back from injury- if he hits form then he could be the golden boot winner.

    14/1 … can’t be bad. Think I’ll have a few quid on that.

  23. fill3rup says:

    Providing they don’t selfdestruct with players walking out etc

    The very reason i wouldnt put a penny on them..

  24. The Cap'n says:

    Yeah but the Dutch camp appears quiet at this point … most Dutch walkouts happen before the start of the tournament so they’ve only got a few hours left to decide.

    Lot of good players playing at a high level in that team … if they click at all there’s no way they should be at 14/1.

  25. “On the radio yesterday – some punter has placed £55,000 each way on France.”

    Like a poker-playing gambler he’s obviously hoping for a good hand.

  26. P.C. Plod says:

    I Got Engerland in thw world Cup sweepstake draw at work
    My hands are tied
    i have no choice
    200 notes to the winner
    i have 2 support the cunts now

  27. Twenty Major says:

    Not sure the Dutch have the defence to go all the way, very potent up top though.

  28. maggot says:

    I just had a World Cup Poo.

  29. fill3rup says:

    I just had a World Cup Poo.

    One Shit of Plenty?

  30. Action Man says:

    I don’t understand the mentality of the typical Irish Football fan who week in, week out for the best part of a year sings the praises of this player and that player, yet when said player dons a different shirt, he’s the biggest cunt ever. Mind boggles.

    And for Cowen and Co, 3 words.

    Petrol…. matches………. BOOM!!

  31. sniffle says:

    @action man – it’s not mentality, just mental but in that positive hating bitter way.

  32. Holemaster says:

    At last. A subject I cannot comment on.

  33. The Other Ron says:

    “Cocked off his tits”. heh.

    Coked?

  34. fill3rup says:

    “Cocked off his tits”. heh.

    Coked?

    He has Joe Cole on the brain the last few days…

  35. on the dry says:

    funny if nigeria meet germany in the next round ‘in the top corner of your tv NIG-GER

  36. The Cap'n says:

    Time for stout, OTD?

  37. on the dry says:

    SOON

  38. can't be arsed says:

    what a fuckin’ carry on !

    many’s the brit and native west brit hanging on ponces variouses’ words

    BLOOMSDAY !

    all back to David Norris’s for a kebab and a hooley

    #Knees up Mother Dave !
    #Knees up Mother Dave !

  39. on the dry says:

    time for stout

  40. Radge says:

    From The Fiver:

    ‘And so, ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys, humans and Daily Mail letter writers, after what has seemed like an interminable wait, it’s finally upon us: the 2010 Fifa World Cup sponsored by Asics, Dr Pepper, Air Greenland, Skoda, Hitachi, American Express, Swiffer, Skol, Skoal Bandits, Poundstretcher, the Keynote range of clothing, Gibbs SR, Reggae Reggae Sauce, Oldham Batteries, Fine Fare, Crisco, Sunny Delight, Jif, Cif, Mr Sheen, the Egg Marketing Board, BP, Greggs, Oracle, ACME, Smiths Crisps, Hovis, Tupperware, Brentford Nylons, Bisto, Guiney’s of Talbot Street, Marlboro Lights, Cohiba, Talisker, Hendricks, Laphroaig, Nurofen, Anadin, Nurofen Plus and Toilet Duck. Yes! And by that, we mean OH YES!!!!!!!!’

    Guiney’s of Talbot Street. Damn near pissed myself.

  41. WuuHuu says:

    the hypocrisy is the same for the english fans…
    in terraces abusing terry for the last 9 months…. and down the battle cruiser tomorrow night “JT” will clear the ball and will be a fackin legend

    top stuff!

  42. conaninexile says:

    am practicing shouting ‘America… fuck yeah!!!’ since I’m over the water in Blighty.

  43. jj mgreer says:

    my girlfriend is from baja california.

    she, and the rest of the mexican nation, want to kill guille franco tonight.

    what a fucking cabbage of a striker that man is. jesus!

  44. jj mgreer says:

    “am practicing shouting ‘America… fuck yeah!!!’ since I’m over the water in Blighty.”

    we need a montage

    even rocky had a montage

  45. on the dry says:

    any cider in the fridge ‘ a month of this world cup i will be dead

  46. on the dry says:

    warp speed for a cure

  47. kevtherev says:

    A Welshman put 37 grand on Rooney to be top scorer at the world cup Both insane and deloooded Mon Brav

  48. conaninexile says:

    eh, how did Greece qualify?

  49. porridge says:

    just finished watching the isle of man tt highlights on setanta. fucking brilliant. that’s my sport for the weekend done and dusted. football me hoop

  50. conaninexile says:

    green fingers…

  51. maggot says:

    Live in Joey Dunlop country porridge.

  52. mags says:

    I’m up for France, cos if it wasn’t France it’d be us, so if they win it means we would have won had it been us.
    hey 20 – come visit my blog! http://arsekick.blogspot.com

  53. jj mgreer says:

    it’s not easy being Green.

  54. Deviatrix says:

    Ta very much Mr.Green.

    Should I bring you the revolver with the single round now or after dinner?

  55. conaninexile says:

    Mr Green… Glove Muppet

  56. divneymathers says:

    “just finished watching the isle of man tt highlights on setanta. fucking brilliant. that’s my sport for the weekend done and dusted. football me hoop”

    Watched some of that, those fuckers are mad in the head!

  57. Holemaster says:

    Why is motorbike racing and rallying so big in Norn Iron?

  58. Git says:

    Would it be an insurance issue?

  59. porridge says:

    nto quite the same as being on a bike, but look up “mcguinness onboard” on youtube.

    as for popularity of in northern ireland, maggot might have an idea. one thing i do know is that for bikers, having a bike is a lot more important than little things like where you come from, what you do or what you believe in. sort of a religion in itself, but one that is inclusive, not exclusive. hmm, dry roads, bit of sunshine, going off to pray

  60. Holemaster says:

    Makes sense alright Porridge. Can only be a positive thing so.

  61. porridge says:

    biggest sporting event in ireland (north or south) is the northwest 200. around 100,000 people with just one thing on their minds – motorbikes. been there a good few times, have met people from all over the world and never, ever had any trouble from anyone. everyone should be on a motorbike

  62. sniffle says:

    Slovenia – gayest goal celebration ever.

  63. Holemaster says:

    You don’t see so many farmers on the old Honda 50s these days. Down in Connemara they all had them. They were great for the poor fellas left on their own in the middle of nowhere. It would get them to a dance or the pub. The things probably kept them alive through having regular contact with others.

  64. Mosheen says:

    I didnt hear those buzzing blowpipe fecking yokes during the USA game, strange

  65. porridge says:

    “the things probably kept them alive through having regular contact with others”. too true – they all used to meet up and go for rides in the countryside together

    AMPB4E.jpg

  66. maggot says:

    I don’t really know why 2 wheel road racing is so attractive- but it’s huge. Roads here are suitable, as with the IOM, for really exciting sport.

    When I was having physio there was a chap in a wheelchair learning how to walk again – his ambition ?

    To get back on his Suzuki.

    There’s a ton of Joey Dunlop material on YouTube. When he died round here it was like the day JFK was shot.

    I remember an interview with him about a vital walled corner at the Isle of Man – had to go round it about 100 mph. He said he knew he was taking it right when his head was touching the wall as he went round – and there on his helmet were the scratches to show he wasn’t bullshitting.

    A really decent bloke.

  67. Bock the Knobber says:

    Stupid vuvuzelas.

  68. jj mgreer says:

    germany march on.

    ozil looks a great little player.

    delighted to see that violent cunt lucas neill humiliated with the whole world watching.

  69. dan says:

    Johnny Piles and Sounness discussing the problems of playing at 5000ft altitude and Dunphy pipes up that he’s that high all the time.
    :o)

  70. perfidious albion says:

    Who are you all going to support if England play France ??

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