Q – What do you call a footballer who can speak loads of languages?
A – Ryan Babelfish.
—
I said terrible. What more do you want? Let’s see you do better.
Q – What do you call a footballer who can speak loads of languages?
A – Ryan Babelfish.
—
I said terrible. What more do you want? Let’s see you do better.
does that make sense to anyone else?
Beats me.
Recieved by text:
Are you free in June/July? You’ll never believe it! I’ve just won a trip to the World Cup finals on 98fm. Its for me and 3 friends, 4 weeks all-inclusive in South Africa with 5K spending money. Flights leave Dublin 10th June so let me know if you’re free as I need someone to put my wheelie bin out for me.
Replied by text:
You fucking cunt!
I got that text too but was thinking about how to say no before I got to the end.
And I can’t believe people don’t get that joke, terrible and all as it is.
Louth man beaten to death in Jo’Burg reggae bar. Eye witnesses said he was parading around drunk shouting “I’m the Caffer”.
Oh Jesus.
What sound does a Portuguese ambulance make?
Na-ni Na-ni Na-ni
*grabs any available coat*
I thought the answer was going to be Wayne Rooney, but what do I know.
Which Italian footballer is deceptively short?
Andrea Pirlo
Did you hear about the Brazilian striker who is given abuse by his team mates for his love of Hollywood films?
They call him American Grafite
Or the English centre back who’s condition is now described as …. grande.
*gets coat, fucks off before is told to*
fuck all to do with the world cup but here goes anyway.
Robbie, the Scouser, [person born in Liverpool, England], is touring America on holiday and stops in a remote bar in the hills of Montana. He’s chatting to the barman when he sees an old native American sitting in a corner-complete with full tribal gear, long plaits and wrinkles.
‘Who’s he?’ enquires Robbie.
‘That’s the Memory Man,’ responds the barman. ‘He knows everything. He can remember any sporting fact. Go and try him out.’
So Robbie wanders over and asks, ‘Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?’
‘Liverpool,’ replies the Memory Man.
Robbie is flabbergasted.
‘Who did they beat?’
‘Leeds,’ is the reply.’ And the score?’
’2-1.’
Amazed but not totally convinced Robbie Dave tries something more specific.
‘Who scored the winning goal?’
Without blinking the native American replies, ‘Ian St John.’
Robbie, the Liverpudlian returns home and regales his relatives and friends with his tale, and he’s determined to return and pay his respects to this amazing man.
Ten years later he has saved enough money and returns to America. After weeks of searching through the towns of Montana, Dave Robbie, the Scouser steps forward, bows and greets the old man in his traditional native tongue, ‘How.’
The Memory Man squints at Robbie and says, ‘Diving header in the six-yard box.’
Similarly nothing to do with the world cup… what does an ethnically differentiated Irishman who lives at the side of the road say when he scores?
Gowwwwwwwwwwwllllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!
*backs out in a hurry*
I’m going back to the earlier post for a moan.
I just had pasta and bacon and borlotti beans in tomato sauce so you can all fuck off!
I’m supping a nettle tea with some acacia honey.
I’m supping a nettle tea with some acacia honey.
Sounds a bit suspicious – have you a doilie ?
The police rescued a small lad from his parents who beat him constantly. He was placed with an aunt, who sadly beat him too. Then he went to a foster home, where again he was beaten.
He has now been placed with the England football team who, as we know, cannot beat anyone.
What do you get when you cross John Terry with a cunt? An even bigger cunt.
I tried for something punnier but that irredeemable fuckbag is on the telly, and I’m a bit jarred.
What do you get when you cross John Terry with a cunt?
A knacker cunt ?
The England centre half pairing is now King John. I just wanted to point that out.
Moving briefly to another sport:
During a golf tour of Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, who was never the sharpest tool in the box, and knows nothing about the game, greets him in a typically Irish manner completely unaware of who the golf pro is.
“Top o’ the marnin’ to ya, sur,” says the attendant. Tiger nods his head in acknowledgement and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
“What are dose?” the attendant asked.
“They’re called tees” replied Tiger.
“Bejasus – what on God’s earth are dey for?” asked the Irishman.
“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving.” replied Tiger.
“Fookin’ Bejaysus!” exclaimed the Irishman, “Dem Germans tink of everything!”
(tenuous)
What do you call an honest irish streetlight in the midfield for England?
Frank Lamp Ard
Joachim Low?
No, I went in hard about knee high and said “Take that ye cunt”
What do you call a football player who steals underwear from ugly women?
Didier Dogbra
John Terry, Robbie Keane and Didier Drogba are waiting outside the delivery room for news of their newborns. The doc comes out and says that everything is fine but there’s a mix up and they are not sure which baby is which. Robbie Keane says he’ll sort it out and marches in and comes out with a black baby under his arm. Drogba looking a bit surprised says ‘ehhmmm that might be my one ye have there robbie’ to which keane replies – I know but I´m not taking any chances and getting stuck with Terry’s kid’
Fabio Capello addresses the team and announced “We’re going to need some new faces around here”.
“Great, can I have one?” says Rooney
seriously though, “Ryan Babelfish” – multilingual. i dont get it, “babble” is how little kids talk, fish is a fucking fish. someone explain this nonsense.
You are such a ‘tard – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babel_fish
What do French footballers get when bored?
Teary Ennui.
“You are such a ‘tard – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babel_fish”
you dork.
There are these great things called ‘books’. Try reading one.
Hey, looks like we got ourselves a reader.
“There are these great things called ‘books’. Try reading one.”
think i just i been served
What do you call an Argentinian player who, before every match against England shits, pisses and spits on their coat of arms for good luck.
Lion all messy.
Why should you never throw your hurdy gurdy about? Cos it might Landon Donovan. Taxi!
haha at both of those.
Wayne Rooney comes home from the World Cup and replaces the front entrance to his house with a frozen Spurs player.
“What’s that, Dad?”, says Wayne’s little lad.
“My cool door, son”.
*jumps into DD’s taxi*
Ha ha!
— One of them, Spanish journalist Miguel Serrano, said: “Imagine. It was absolutely terrifying for him with a gun in his face. They were shouting: ‘Sleep! Sleep!’” —
http://www.independent.ie/breaking-news/world-news/gunmen-rob-world-cup-journalists-2213554.html
The worst dressed player in the World Cup?
Shabby Alonso.
Somebody at the door…..
I hear there’s a Cameroon player who’s had his skin dyed a few shades lighter and changed his name to…wait for it….
Sam Mulato’o
Is that my bus?
Ryan Babelfish … Whats not to get ?
http://babelfish.yahoo.com/
“Ryan Babelfish … Whats not to get ?
http://babelfish.yahoo.com/
”
hey Mully, the 90s called, it wants it’s search engine back.
Old world cup joke from english dressing room a few years back They were preparing to play the germans Bobby Robson says ‘We will have to watch out for that Rumminigge’ John Barnes looks up and says’ What Rumour?’
Don’t get it, what’s a Norwegean rock band got to do with football?
Football humour.
Give me shooting in the face any day.
I appreciate you for the truly great post. Together with the world cup coming about you’re starting to find much better articles on sports all over the world. Continue the good work please. The web needs it.
Cunt
Great joke!!!lol
and for anyone that doesn’t get it maybe pick up a copy of the ‘Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy’