Fuck off Joe Coleman

Old spoofy bollocks himself, Joe Coleman, claims to have witnessed another appearance by the virgin Mary at Knock. This from the Irish Times:

Jabbing his finger at a cloudy sky, Mr Coleman said: “I seen her there and I seen her there. She did make herself known.”

Dear oh dear. “Seen her”, really?

It’s a shame the blessed virgin didn’t impart the gift of being able to use the past tense correctly. As miracles go that’d be pretty small time. He’s not looking for his bendy legs to be straightened, a tumour the size of a melon to be obliterated or his cross-eyed mate brought back from the dead.

Nope, just the ability to do something a 6 year old can do and use the correct form of verb when speaking in public.

Nevertheless this mystical sky chick gave him a ‘fantastic message’. Apparently she told him the ending to Lost.

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63 Responses to Fuck off Joe Coleman

  1. maggot says:

    His visions will soon dry up now that he cannot get his supplies at the head shop.

  2. The Cap'n says:

    This ‘Care in the Community’ philosophy for mentalists clearly isn’t working.

  3. murty says:

    Fr Séamus Ryan, a priest in Coleman’s Ballyfermot parish – “The idea that Our Lady would appear again 130 years [after the initial vision], well that is not the way these things happen,”

    Apparently there are rules that control when, where and how visions occur. Someone should e-mail heaven and let them know.

  4. itchybollix says:

    The Kinks wrote a song about it with bad grammar too.

    “The seen him here, they seen him there” ….*scratch

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQAR-nx4w88

  5. fill3rup says:

    I wonder what will be on Joe Duffy today?
    A cross between Joe coleman and mothers of unemployed headshop employees..

  6. Holemaster says:

    @heaven: OMFG. Coleman is totally like WTF?

  7. maggot says:

    Mind you it’s pretty tame compared to the moving statues. They were class. You could believe in them !

  8. maggot says:

    “The idea that Our Lady would appear again 130 years [after the initial vision], well that is not the way these things happen,”

    Obviously not – for starters the volcanic ash will have her grounded.

  9. Jo says:

    Ach.

    The Virgin appeared in my porridge this morning, but I’m not making a big fuss about it.

    Blueberries, you know.

    I seen them.

  10. peadar says:

    Nobody knows the ending to Lost. That’s just fucking stupid

  11. Holemaster says:

    I love the way The Irish Times make a statement by merely quoting someone’s bad grammar.

  12. “About 200 people attended yesterday’s event, a much smaller turnout than previous “visions”.”

    That’s because their eyesight was too fucking damaged to drive their caravans to the chapel.

  13. Medbh says:

    We caught an exhibition of Chris Ofili’s work in the Tate Britain which included his “Madonna with Elephant Dung.”
    Great show.

  14. itchybollix says:

    Any TV programme which uses a Flann O’Brien novel a prop deserves an ending on a bar-stool in The Palace. i.e. a never-ending cycle of never-endings. Lost is fucking tripe. I hope Flann shits on the island and smothers the cunts in a big gooey guinnessy shit a lá tayto crisps bits.

  15. itchybollix says:

    Medbh Says:
    May 12th, 2010 at 10:34 am
    We caught an exhibition of Chris Ofili’s work in the Tate Britain which included his “Madonna with Elephant Dung.”
    Great show.

    BITCH!

    I read about it. you lucky you.

  16. el cuno says:

    Apparently Holy Mary is angry at the way Joe has been treated by the authorities at Knock. All the shit going on in the world and she’s angry about that? She needs a bit of perspective.
    Unless she is angry that someone hasn’t put the fucker out of his misery by a quick strangling with rosary beads, in which case, I agree with her.

  17. maggot says:

    I’ve never thought of you as an art gallery sort of chap itchy.

  18. itchybollix says:

    I’m an art loon maggot. sample of some of the stuff hanging in my gaff

    http://i43.tinypic.com/vgtm5k.jpg

  19. Holemaster says:

    Maggot, Itchy is a cultured chap don’t you know.

  20. Holemaster says:

    Hey Itchy, Banksy isn’t cool anymore. Take that down before your friends are over again or you’ll be eye-rolled to death by them.

    * HM makes note to move his banksy prints into the bedroom*

  21. itchybollix says:

    “A state of wide lawns and narrow minds” – Hemingway describing Maryland.

    And me describing this shithole of a country.

  22. el cuno says:

    Just replace the “l” with a “y” and you have it spot on, mr scratchy

  23. itchybollix says:

    it’s a dude called DolK HM. I love banksy…he’s just way, way, way out of my wallet league.

    http://www.print-london.co.uk/Dolk.html

  24. maggot says:

    Maggot, Itchy is a cultured chap don’t you know.

    His crabs wear berets and smoke gauloises ?

    Needs one of these on his wall – a proper painting

    King%20William%20on%20horse.jpg

  25. itchybollix says:

    or el cuno, after hearing Cowen speak like a pig on The Matt Cooper Show on monday – “A state of wide mouths full of shit”. Anybody hear him spluttering and spitting like an elephant the other day? A fucking embarrassment to mankind.

  26. Holemaster says:

    Itchy, who came first, the Dolk or the Banksy?

    The prints I own are only rip off prints, not originals. £20 a pop bought in London, innit.

  27. Jo says:

    I got Banksy’s book, it’s great.

  28. itchybollix says:

    Banksy came first and is on a different planet to dolk. His street art is amazing. I read that a guy bought a building which Banksy had graffi’d and then took the wall down and sold the wall at auction Banksy has a very good documentary type film called “Exit through the gift shop”. It’s pretty wild. documentary type film, can’t make my mind up.

  29. itchybollix says:

    Whats the name of the bansky book Jo? givvus a lend of it please.

  30. Twenty Major says:

    Itchy – yeah, I heard that. It was disgusting. A snorting, snot swallowing pig he is.

  31. “And yay, seeing how unhappy the people were, Joe did take the sacred powder and changed the water into mustard”:
    First Miracle of Coleman according to the book of Scobe, Chapter VI, Verse 23.

  32. maggot says:

    We had a fall of hail stones this morning – what’s it been like in your neck of the woods ?

  33. Holemaster says:

    From the Old Testicle:

    “And he will be known as the black diamond man and he will befriend cross of eye and gather a hoard of the freckled skin and flame of hair and will behold the glorious vision above the land of the pointless airport”

  34. Laurence says:

    Fr Séamus Ryan, a priest in Coleman’s Ballyfermot parish – “The idea that Our Lady would appear again 130 years [after the initial vision], well that is not the way these things happen,”

    Ha Ha!

    That’s almost as good as the Limerick diocesan office spokesman who was talking about last summer’s tree stump worshipers, and said “While we do not wish in any way to detract from devotion to Our Lady, we would also wish to avoid anything which might lead to superstition.”

    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/frontpage/2009/0709/1224250319175.html

  35. Holemaster says:

    Maggot, is that old King Billy himself?

  36. Drunk Kitteh says:

    Bertie comes to The Island and starts Fianna Fáil.

  37. Holemaster says:

    Indymedia is a load of fucking bollocks. They don’t publish my comments.

    Impartial my hole. Front for the IRSP and the likes.

  38. divneymathers says:

    Banksy is like just so noughties, ya get me bro?

  39. kenny says:

    IT’s hard (VVVV hard) to believe that these chancers have any credibility?!

    Be fun to tighten his nuts with a vice grip til he admist he is a lying cunt!

  40. porridge says:

    always like to think of joe coleman as a retarded version of tattoo from fantasy island – “hey boss, the virgin, the virgin”.

    imagine the amount of sightings he’d get if he hung around heathrow instead of knock
    http://keetsa.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/virginapril242007.jpg

  41. RandomNoise says:

    Banksy is pretty awesome. I gave the brother his Wall And Peace book last year two days after his birthday cos I hadn’t finished reading it.

  42. Holemaster says:

    Can you read a Banksy book?

  43. Twenty Major says:

    I only look at the pictures

  44. Holemaster says:

    It’s so picture-skew

  45. The Cap'n says:

    We’re a kind race. Anywhere else Coleman would be hunted away with big sticks.

    Althugh death stalks village life in Ireland some of the idiots are still in public practise.

  46. fill3rup says:

    Justing to some audio from the “Riot” at Leinster house..
    Why do people make up stupid songs about what they are protesting about?
    Makes my blood boil..I dont know why..

  47. Twenty Major says:

    Are they reworking classic hits or pop favourites?

  48. Jo says:

    12 euro in HMV itchy. Compelling reading/looking. Pictures and comments and little stories.

  49. Crank says:

    “Another prick in the Dail”?

  50. Icarus says:

    “Another prick in the Dail”?

    We don’t need no pension taken…

  51. RandomNoise says:

    Yes I can HM, yes I can.

    The question is….. Can [/i]you[\i] read a Banksy book.

  52. RandomNoise says:

    Goddamn it!

    Stupid italic inputting stupid bastard stupid thing.

  53. Loco Lobo says:

    If Joe saw her on his way to the bar he’s a nut. If he saw her after he left he was in his cups.

  54. Peckerhead says:

    Is that the ending to Lost?

  55. itchybollix says:

    two others from the gallery of scrotum, both ncad students flogging their wares. first one is titled “sadam international airport- an original drypoint on fabiano” 2004. i love it. 2nd one is an untitled print. two of my mates. support your local artist, circular flow of income and all that

    http://i44.tinypic.com/hx12ft.jpg

    http://i40.tinypic.com/j82pvt.jpg

    http://www.defastenism.4t.com/

    http://www.garyfarrelly.blogspot.com/

  56. itchybollix says:

    holy fuck. the charlatan is on the front page of yahoo. this is fucking third world voodoo shit. we have become nigeria-zimbabwe-haiti in the eyes of the world. it’s official. we are a fucking basketcase. yeah, yeah, yeah, i hear ye…mother teresa will be here next aka niall lickarse mccarthy sapian stab-in-the-back quinn.

    http://uk.news.yahoo.com/21/20100511/tuk-crowds-await-apparition-at-shrine-e1cd776.html

    thanks for heads-up on banksy book jo.

    HM; here’s my print of one outside my bathroom, well – not a print; nicked it from the www and got a friend to clean it up dpi and shit – says to me – “come to disneyland and eat mcdonalds or i’ll fucking kill ya”

    http://i40.tinypic.com/4g6esn.jpg

    , and 1 more from steve bell which said it all

    http://i42.tinypic.com/29vgj77.jpg

  57. itchybollix says:

    right. i got the bell just there. i’m off to the pub with a mate. we got a taxi into town on tuesday night and between this and that the taxi-driver and I got yapping. Me mate is very quiet. ive never had head-shop stuff but my quiet mate consumes the stuff like mary harney at a free buffet. he gave us his card and told us that he does a delivery service of head -shop stuff. normal fee for the goods followed by a tenner delivery charge, local. He also has/has a stall in a market which opens on sundays. we discussed biz ideas which is one the reasons i’m interested in head-shops products. filler, he loved flogging bzp, it was a money tree. anyhow. meeting a friend of a friend who knows him and will give you update of scene. ireland of the welcomes my fucking hole.

  58. Holemaster says:

    Nice prints there Itchy. That one of the Vietnamese war child is fucking disturbing. I’m going to have to watch some porn now so I can sleep.

  59. Drunk Kitteh says:

    To include in Twenty’s list: absolutely everything this cunt has ever said, about anything ever in the history of the entire universe, ever.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hO33i4XchuA

  60. Mosheen says:

    I wonder if you’d draw a big crowd if you made an elephant with Madonna’s dung?

  61. Mosheen says:

    P.S. I’ve been to Knock.
    They are all virgins there.

  62. eamonn says:

    Was it today he was predicting the next appearance at knock? Or tomorrow?

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