This weekend

I forgot to pay the M50 rip off charge. Should have been €3 each way, it ended up costing me €12 in total. When they actually had to pay people to man the toll booths it cost €1.90 to use the road. Anyway, I rang up, gave out and now I’m a ‘registered user’ of the M50 and I’ll just be charged on a monthly basis for the trips I make at a recession busting €2.50 a trip. I feel sick.

I went to see Four Lions in the Lighthouse cinema. First time I’ve ever been there. It’s a very nice cinema and I’m sure the other 12 people who went to see the showing thought that too (one of them was Nialler9 but bloggers aren’t real people so he doesn’t count). Anyway, Four Lions is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Those expecting full of Chris Morris uncomfortable-fest might be disappointed, but it’s clever and quite touching and just laugh out loud (if only there was some way to shorten that phrase for handiness) funny.

“Fuck mini Babybels!”

Smithfied Plaza on Saturday evening was absolutely dead but the drunk man on Church Street berating his young son (around 6 or 7) and calling him a ‘crying faggot’ on Church St made up for it.

I lost count of the empty restaurants around town. I always find it depressing looking at the unoccupied tables but then plenty of restaurants were nice and busy. The ones with a bit of something to them, the ones with good food, better service and a couple of Limoncellos on the house afterwards, they’re full. The places that thought they could just open up, dish out slops and exist on passing traffic are fucked. No harm there.

I put up some new lights in my kitchen, underneath the presses type things. All went well but I nearly stabbed my own eye out with a screwdriver. Seriously. It slipped, my arm went flying past my head and had it been a couple of inches to the left it would have been as if my arm was a young lad from Drimnagh.

I drank some rum, on the rocks, with a slice of lime. It was good.

It was very good indeed.

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54 Responses to This weekend

  1. Conan Drumm says:

    I can confess to vin plonc, audiovisual continence, and self-catering. Multiply that by many thousands of folks and it explains why you had it all to yourself.
    Hope you got a spare bulb/units for your under the presses type lighting. Have a connecting string of them here and one of the effin units packed it in. Ten hardware shops, a fruitless email to the distributor, and finally a lucky find in a whoesaler before I could replace it.

  2. Fatmammycat says:

    I find it verra hard to believe he did the lighting his OWN self. Next he’ll be building things and following instructions.

  3. Twenty Major says:

    You better believe it. Did all my own nearly stabbing myself in the eye too.

    Conan – they’re light old hospital flourescents to give that kitchen the homely look I’ve been after.

  4. Holemaster says:

    I was up near Smithfiled on Saturday afternoon and noticed a drunk baby-faced man trying to stand straight. He was with his wife and a couple of small children. He looked very confused, as if these people were just beamed into existence in front of him.

    I wonder was it the same useless fuck of a man.

  5. Fill3rup says:

    No chance of Four Lions getting a screening outside Dublin anyway..
    Town here was buzzing all weekend,the lovely weather helped alot,it was great to see it though especially as after a Bank Holiday weekend it would usually be much quieter..

  6. Radge says:

    Only place I remember getting a free Limoncello was Bocaccio on Dame Street. I think it still does well for itself.

  7. G Ramsey-Oliver says:

    Most people are pig-shit-thick plebs – so busy restaurants are to be avoided at all costs. The discerning diner will find satisfaction in establishments that the masses avoid.

  8. maggot says:

    Did you manage to reattach your arm ?

  9. Jo says:

    Heh. What Twenty Did.

    This post is verging on mommy-blog! Soon there’ll be a Limoncello recipe.

    Looking forward to What Twenty Did Next :)

  10. Kerry Kantona says:

    I got felt up by that Twenty Major in Iceland Finglas – he was buying TV dinners.

  11. Conan Drumm says:

    “Did all my own nearly stabbing myself in the eye too.”

    I recommend one of those welding mask thingys, it makes DIY very safe and prevents oil dripping in your eye if you get under the car to see what’s making an annoying noise.

  12. Twenty Major says:

    I need to be 20% more offensive before I start doing recipes, Jo.

    Radge – Ciao Bella Roma

    Conan – sage advice. At the very least I’ll wear my shades.

    maggot – cunt off

  13. Kerry Kantona says:

    maggot – cunt off

    That’s not very nice!

  14. Jo says:

    Unless Twenty just challenged maggot to a cunt off…

  15. Radge says:

    Never been. Noted.

  16. I did warn you against using that “Leon Trotsky’s DIY Handbook” you bought in Easons the other day.

  17. Pidge says:

    Saw Four Lions in the IFI the other day. Fucking amazing.

  18. itchybollix says:

    The Lighthouse is very nice, I agree. I saw a cool film there about an Iraqi kid in love with a girl, they both have to leave Iraq, he learns to swim so he can swim the channel to meet her again. French jobby. Really good…what the fuck was it called??..”Welcome”..that was it.

    There’s a nice pub near there too..caled Dice..I think..

    I went to a birthday party in malahide cricket club and got trolleyed on guinness, tequila and champagne. Happy Birthday Gilly (and you’re gorgeosu Vietnamese girlfriend (and her sister – hello sister) No rum for me.

    My dad never called my brother a faggot but if he did he would have been right>

    Restaurants – there’s only 2 in dublin – L’ecrivan and….L’ecrivan

    ended up in maggots gaff at 4 a.m. sharing meatballs with Iris Robinson

    This week is going to hell. I will check out the film on wed or thurs; sounds better than matt fucking damon shite that my film going friend insists on going to

  19. Kerry Kantona says:

    Atomic Chilli tonight if you can make it itchy !

  20. itchybollix says:

    thanks kerry but continuing on with The Ramones buzz, I’m gonna hang out on 2nd avenue and have chicken vindaloo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MScmq95UNZs

  21. itchybollix says:

    Irish businessmen and politicians could learn from this – i.e. when they’re caught, again, with money sticking in their hole, they should do us all a favour. I’ll drive the train. And reverse it over them just to make sure.

    http://www.chicagobusiness.com/cgi-bin/news.pl?id=38143

  22. Holemaster says:

    Itchy. You sound like you’ve taken a gram of Coke.

  23. itchybollix says:

    I’d be more a leaf chewer than a coke snorter. I am feeling very disillusioned about most things lately, maybe a gramme of cocaine would be good for me

  24. Have I wandered into an alternative universe? Twenty, clever fillums, posh fud, and diy.

    I hope they are reading this in Ron’s and appropriate punishment is meted out.

  25. Twenty Major says:

    Clever films, check, but then that’s no big thing.

    Posh restaurant – nope, just a good Italian.

    DIY – well, otherwise I’d have to PSE (pay someone else) and I hate letting strangers into my house unless I really have to.

  26. Holemaster says:

    Hence all the wanking.

  27. The Cap'n says:

    Should have reversed through the toll booth a few times and applied for a refund each trip.

    You’d now be 12 euros up on the deal.

  28. porridge says:

    strangers, twenty? stranger than what? didn’t think there were any stranger people around than the ones you already know

  29. Twenty Major says:

    I know them. They’re strange all right but not strangers.

  30. itchybollix says:

    Why did the pervert cross the road?

    ‘Cos he was stuck in a chicken!

    Dada!

  31. porridge says:

    got your gramme of coke then, itchy?

  32. itchybollix says:

    Porridge; If I did I’d be telling my ” a duck walked into a bar” joke. Speaking of coke, It’s Mats Wilanders favourite joke too

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2007/jun/22/smalltalk.sportinterviews

  33. porridge says:

    man walks into a bar with a duck stuck to his forhead. barman goes “jesus twenty, where the fuck did that come from?” duck replies “dunno ron, just woke up and it was there”

  34. Twenty Major says:

    I like the Mats Wilander one.

  35. sakimoto says:

    Il Vicoletto just down from the Foggy Dew, quality.

  36. porridge says:

    at least it wasn’t “man walks into a bar with an owl stuck to his forehead”

  37. Holemaster says:

    Mats likes Smithwicks apparently.

  38. el cuno says:

    That fella, the Iranian president seem to be a bit anti-Smithwick.
    *retreats back into the corner*

  39. murty says:

    A blonde is crossing the road when she gets hit by a car. The driver rushes over to see if she’s all right. ‘Are you okay?’ he asks. ‘I can’t see straight,’ says the blonde. ‘Everything is a blur.’ Concerned, the driver leans over her and says, ‘How many fingers have I got up?’ ‘God no!’ she screams. ‘Don’t tell me I’m paralysed from the waist down as well

  40. Spooner says:

    So, are you, like, an old man now?

  41. Loco Lobo says:

    What a peaceful and relaxing weekend you can have when you stay out of the saloons.

  42. maggot says:

    Saloons are for rough and common people. And Bertie.

  43. itchybollix says:

    Brown gone!

    maggot. Will the unionists hop on with labour/liberals?

  44. fill3rup says:

    Bye bye Cameron,The Lib Dems would definitely prefer to go in with Labour.Browns resignation is the price,at least he recognises this(or was shouted at for 7 hours in the face by Alister Campbell “You one eyed, scary smilin’ CUUUUUUUNT,RESIIIIIIGN!” until he cried)

  45. itchybollix says:

    hahhahahaaha

    filler. here you go. sky/murdoch cunts are fucking fuming…kicks off about 5 mins in

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gkHwU4DRA8

  46. on the dry says:

    home at last

  47. itchybollix says:

    welcome home otd. what the fuck am I going to do? I can’t wait another hour for newsnight. The tension is killin’ me.labour/lib/welsh? the sun will go fucking mental. this is going to be great.

    once more

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkJLWx6H7Gs

  48. maggot says:

    Heh – the libs got screwed in the last lib-lab pact. Mind you they are stupid enough to repeat the experience.

  49. itchybollix says:

    According to Private Eye mag the following is true. And pretty fucking sick too. Peter Sutherland. We all know him. Used to be head honcho in BP, and according to John Browne in his autobioghy Beyond Business, Sutherland ain’t Mr. Nice.

    Anyhow, Sutherland has a lot of history and a lot to answer for. His latest, he is chairman of goldman sachs which is under criminal invesigation in the us of a

    He is financial adviser to Pope Benedict.

  50. itchybollix says:

    still on topic. I think. What is the topic?

    http://www.thelocal.se/25714/20100324/

  51. Holemaster says:

    Sutherland is a ruthless power hungry cunt. Business success at all costs. He has no compassion for his fellow man. He’d be of the ‘My family and I and fuck everyone else” club. Those people cause societies to disintegrate.

  52. SAm Crea says:

    someone posted a clip from that film on facebook, the bit with the beardy guy and the bottles of bleach, and I thought it very unfunny… if I thought that clip very unfunny will I have any chance of thinking the rest funny?

  53. Twenty Major says:

    I don’t know how you didn’t find that funny. So you probably won’t like the rest of it then.

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