Like many of you I’m fond of a couple of evening cocktails once the hour has come. After a long day it’s a nice way to relax. Some pints or a glass of wine or a G&T or a whiskey sour or a strawberry daquiri, it’s all good.
I find, however, that this does not tally well with my other evening habit – reading before I go asleep. Some nights I go to bed, pick up my book where I left off the night before, and I don’t really remember the bits I’d previously read. This means having to re-read them and even though you don’t remember what it is you’re re-reading it still feels like a chore. Instead of cracking on with the book you have to go back. This frustrates me.
I have discovered that it is almost impossible to partake of evening drinks and read James Ellroy. No matter how much re-reading you do you just can’t get into the book. I’m assuming that’s because of the drinks and not because his latest book is overly stylised and complicated bollocks (although I suspect the truth may lie somewhere in the middle).
So what to do? Remain sober and abstemious so I can read better? That doesn’t sound like a good idea at all. Reading earlier seems like a reasonable alternative but the whole thing about reading in bed is that it’s habitual. I can’t fall asleep without it, unless I am absolutely cunted drunk.
I think I’m just going to have to carry on as I always have, two steps forward, one step back, where steps = chapters.
Coincidentally had a few glasses yesterday evening and went to the scratcher whereupon I picked up the book without need of revision (and it’s a complicated Neil Gaiman thingy). That said, I left the skylight blind open which meant I was woken by glare at an ungodly hour.
I’m reading a Will Self book for about a year now.
Anyone read Easy Riders, Raging Bulls?
That’s my current ‘two steps forward, one back’ book. It’s quite brilliant.
Would it be any different if you were listening to the book rather than reading while after a few
Im sure you could get some lad in africa/india or china to record a reading of any book you wanted.
Youd have to tell him not to do special voices for the characters though ..unless you like that sort of shite
For example …
And the little piggy said ” whose been eating my porridge” ..im mixing my fairytales here which is fucking dangerous
Always have a couple of books on the go.
The main one, and most challenging should be kept on a small pedastal next to the lavatory..
Keep something re-readable and not continuos for bedtime – such as a collected writings or series of articles or whatever…
KEEP DRINKING
Its quite handy sometimes if you are a habitual bedtime reader. I can’t settle either without reading something.
Some books you can getaway with I think, fiction. But if its historical/biography/science or something vaguely academic then having to read it again the next day makes me retain the info better I sometimes think.
I get annoyed if I’ve lost the thread of a non-fiction, factual thing but fiction it can be just as amusing filling in the little blanks if you can’t be bothered to go back and cause most fiction is formulaic nine out of ten times you won’t throw yourself off the scent of the story.
(Disclaimer: This post may be as much as 100% bollocks. Who knows.)
FG – we had an English teacher who fancied himself a bit of an actor and did the voices of characters when he read from the novels.
“OI’VE GORT THE COOOOONCH”, said Piggy.
Awful. Not sure I’d be into audio books though.
Radge, it is brilliant as a book or brilliant as a two steps, one step book?
SAm – the main book is for bed. The loo is for stupid books, quotes books etc. Although that has been usurped by iPhone games now.
Just read factual book before sleepies, that way it won’t matter a tinker’s curse if you forget where you are or not.
I think Finnegan’s Wake was actually written in the way you’re describing.
Do you think that blind people read Braille books before going to sleep at night?
“’Night Dear, I’m going to crash. I can barely keep my fingers open.”
heh
‘Radge, it is brilliant as a book or brilliant as a two steps, one step book?’
Just as a book.
I drank my way through a four-pack of Leffe last evening (to forget the football) so I’m not at my clearest.
So what to do? Remain sober and abstemious so I can read better?
Get yourself a wife .
Kindles are great if you’re driving because you can increase the font size.
Steady on, maggot.
heh, HM.
That Leffe’s good gear, Radge – had some on draught last week. Superb.
Last weekend in a pub in Cloankilty – Paulaner on draught, 2 nights running with lock ins. Nice.
Beside the bed – The Butcher Boy, a few pages, then the woozy takes over. Poor lad’s mental.
In the jacks – Jon Snow’s autobiography (someone on the forum recommended. good stuff).
On draught? In Dublin? I’ve only ever known it on tap on the continent. It’s the whiskey of beers, for me.
Lahndaaaahn, innit.
Shame. I was just about to down tools.
It’s a disgrace nobody does it here.
A national outrage, even
We should lobby for it to replace Budweiser. It’ll make the natives more fighty, but still..
whatever about reading with a few shandies on board when you find yourself reading with only one eye open you should just accept drink has carried the day and go to sleep.
Butcher Boy – wonderful book!
You have to close one eye
I use the non page turning hand pressed just below the eye to help focus
Never bring coffee to bed when your drunk reading it tastes terrible and then you have to drink it cold because you forgot you made it
I don’t sit on the jacks long enough to read a book but I’m strangely attracted to reading deodorant cans and shampoo bottles and even the missus’ sanitary towel packs for some reason.
Save money on sanitary towels murty- get the missus up the duff.
I am a Fianna Fail economics advisor.
think you can get leffe in the dice bar on draft.. certainly could a few years ago.
you might have to wade thru the rockabillies tho..
In the bog – old copies of Viz.
Twitterature in my bog.
leffe on draught gone from dice unfortunately. made for some interesting nights though. drunk writing much worse than drunk reading. last attempt resulted in page of hieroglyphics with only last word legible: retard
Save money on sanitary towels murty- get the missus up the duff.
I am a Fianna Fail economics advisor -
sound advice – so thats why the country is a shining example of how to prudently manage an economic boom and minimise the effect of the subsequent downturn instead of a country that has flushed it all down the toilet – You wouldn’t be Charlie McCreevy in disguise would you?
No. Even on the internet admitting to being Charlie McCreevy is a step too far.
But i can tell you going forward that if you take all the red ink in the national accounts and colour it black again with a biro then everything looks grand.
So you see the downturn is a matter of perception. I’ve a job lined up at Davy’s for when I click over on the Ministerial entitlement.
I am your local Fianna Fail economics advisor. Cumann feel the noyze.
Cumann feel the noyze.
Heh – nice one.
Chuckling here – Mike Parry at Talksport was having a whine and phone-in about the MIA ginger-killing video. Cunt phoned supposedly from Colorado with a tale of Woe which they lapped up – it was the Southpark plot !
Not even Charlie McCreevy admits to being Charlie McCreevy
iphone has put an end to toilet reading. bittersweet.
only one book has ever kept me awake while drunk reading stephen kings pet cemetery, went to bed at one or so after 7 or 8 cans of prazsky (cheap czech beer) got to the part where he is digging up his sons coffin and snapped wide awake
Postman dropped off a load of election literature – will do for bog reading.
Bog reading gives you piles. It’s true!!
Anyway, I’d recommend Danielle Steel novels as the perfect drunk read, for male or female.
Cliched, simple, manipulative and emotional, just a perfect match!
Gerry Ryan dead. Found in his apartment this morning.
Just heard. Didn’t care for him, but wouldn’t wish it on him.
“Postman dropped off a load of election literature – will do for bog reading.”
Maggot. For once, I wish that was happening to me now.
Is that true about GR?
Apparently, Holemaster. Miriam O’Callaghan confirmed it on her Twitter.
Wasn’t he a mate of Joe Duffy’s? Fuck sake if thats the case the Holy Ghost has bollixed it up again.
I’m hearing it too. Choked on a pie?
Don’t forget his kids folks.
I prayed for them when he was alive and I’ll continue to pray for them now…
Bit disappointed though HM – all the usual twats except SF. Their election literature is only beaten by Eamonn McCann’s mob. but they don;t have a candidate.
The SF candidate for some reason isn’t Billy Leonard – who isn’t a bad lad. John Dallat isn’t standing for the Stoops either.
Lesley Macauley
I’d give her (my) one
Afraid she’s in the “Wimmin” camp though HM
In the past women like me stayed out of politics. We kept our heads down. We tried to make NI a better place by devoting our time to our families and schools and voluntary groups and youth organisations and women’s groups and churches. But look where this has got us. A community united in anger against failed politics. It’s time for change!
http://tinyurl.com/374haup
“I prayed for them when he was alive and I’ll continue to pray for them now…”
if you’re going to pray for anyone, spare a thought for the poor bastards who have to manhandle his bloated corpse out of his flat into an ambulance
I think I know I’m a cunt because I don’t really care that Gerry Ryan died. But this is Ireland, and when you die you are eugalised as some sort if great even if you were a cunt and were shite at your job.
It’s always been like that, DK.
I’ve already seen him described as a ‘great man’.
So it begins.
I will forever remember him for this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p6cerxq4rk
Operation Resurrection anyone?
“We can rebuild him… We have the technology… We just don’t want to spend a lot of money…”
It’s always been like that, DK.
I was so moved by your obituary for Haughey Twenty – hardly recognised the man.
Never a fan of Ryan but Haughey was an evil cunt fuck and still considered the great man just because he died.
The office is awash with ‘too soon’ jokes. I, on the other hand, learned my lesson after September 11th and am keeping my mouth shut.
last bit prophetic, dk: “have you had your heart checked recently?”
I’m not going to pretend that he was anything else but the personification of everything that is vile about this bloated cunt of a country. Arrogant, greedy, self-important, pompous mé feiner.
He’d split up with his missus – suicide or strangly wank gone wrong ?
Maggot, thank God there’s still some realists in this fantasy land we live in!
Best comment on the “tragedy” so far!!
gardai have ruled out fowl play, so choking the chicken not involved.
Should have been Brendan O’Connor.
Should have been Brendan O’Connor.
I’m not suggesting for a moment that it was a strangly wank that put Cardinal Brady in hospital earlier this month.
Ha, Radge.
Already updated on Wikipedia…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerry_Ryan
Just to be clear, HM, that was an intentional echo of your thoughts.
Oh I guessed that alright.
http://www.politics.ie/media/128893-gerry-ryan-found-dead.html
Fuck me… The pure insincerity of it all is making my head explode. Even BIFFO is getting in on the action.
Gerry Ryan Death Book – minimum bet – €600,000 a year with gross indignation if a pay-cut is imposed followed by a loud burp and loud fart.
Evens – Heart Attack
2/1 – Choked on his regular morning breakfast of a 5kg Box of Leonidas Marzipan Royale, Cognoc and a Cigar
4/1 – Suicide
100/1 – Fell down the stairs and cracked his head on his way to delivering his own food and money to his local SVdP
He had started to eat himself in his sleep and chocked half way through his arm.
Oh shit, the kids.
Always got the impression GR fell into his line of work (college – pirate DJ – mainstream), starting out as a cheeky-charlie and changing with age into a buster-bluster. I was never a fan and couldn’t say when I last listened to him or saw him on the telly. I think his career happened in an innocent way, ie not as calculatedly as the younger generation of broadcasters. The power may have gone to his head, which is a fairly human thing. And signs on the Taoiseach and others have issued statements to mark his death, which seems ludicrous to me. There were some nasty rumours several years back regarding some of his conduct, interesting to see if those stories emerge.
His missus was and I presume it still is a lovely woman. I met her way back in her retailing days and I really hope she and their kids are left in peace.
I have honoured this great man’s life by putting twice as much cheese into my ham and cheese toasty.
Oh shit, Conan.
Conan, very much a case of being in the right place at the right time, like a lot of the initial 2FM jocks. Had absolutely no time for him, his radio show, his style or his pomp, agree with you re: his wife and kids though.
Not hard to replace.
still reading [a quite belief in angels] a month at it now ‘ all to do with stout and gr is dead and i am off for more stout. do read this book
a quiet belief in angels Gerry ryan be able to confirm or deny now
He will be truely missed by one and all.im reading his absolutely wonderfull book at the moment,can hardly put it down.
I like drunk Reading as long as just just read the entire thing at once then ya don’t give a shit if you remember it or not. Tis always better to just have the gist. Although wondering how long it’ll take some eejit to publish a Gerry Ryan book of shite now that the fella can’t annoy us himself anymore.
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 560
Adverts | Friends Gerry Ryan – An institution and an icon
Will be very missed and irreplaceable.
RIP
It could be just a publicity stunt.
Of course you’d have to have some neck to pull off a stunt like that.
I rest my case.
World War Z. I wasnt expecting it to be as good as it was and the less than subtle subtext was enjoyable. You can beat zombies, except maybe with a shovel to the forehead.
The answer to the book q is to keep an old faithful no brain type thing by the bed, for sleepy-reading. And save the complex stuff for daytime.
Though it all depends what time cocktail hour starts Chez Twenty I suppose.
Gerry Ryan dead! Well, he hadn’t been looking the healthiest in a while, it’s true, so I suppose it’s not the biggest surprise.
I’ll refrain from nastiness for the sake of thinking of the children! You’re a moral compass, Hm.
Why read when drunk? Seems like a terribly unexciting thing to do when cunted. Why not listen to music or watch shitty action movies?
I watch shitty porn movies when drunk, DK. Not shitty porn literally, that wouldn’t do it for me. Thought GR was a reactionary, egotistical cock on his radio show, but am feeling surprisingly sad that he’s gone. It’ll pass, I’m sure…
What’s a book?
lolz @ Heywood Jablome
I’m in the process of drinking 10 cans of Karpackie tonight, I’ll watch Avatar when I’m suitably cunted.
Karpackie? Sounds racist to me, DK, go easy on him…
At least Gerry’s done his bit for the irish economy. How much was he getting from state-owned RTE again?
Gerry Ryan ate my hamster.
lolz
On The Dry and I should have babies, he sounds like a legend.
(Holemaster; oh shit the kids)
Did he?
Good looking alright, and no offence to the transgenders on here but I wouldn’t be voting for a Unionist & Conservative he-she if you paid me…
http://tinyurl.com/374haup
“Lesley Macaulay is the Conservative and Ulster Unionist-New Force candidate for East Londonderry. Based in Portstewart, he she outlines her background.
Jaysus, Ireland are 55-6 against the WIndies. And cricket our national sport. The mortification…
heh – I’m old enough to remember the Irish team beating them at Sion Mills in 1969 – bowled the West Indies out for 25!
64-9 now. That’s pathetic. And they were only chasing 139….
68 all out. the shame, the shame…
Post that I made on P.ie:
“Broadcasting standards can only improve. We have enough vapid fluff on RTÉ Radio as is.
In Gerry’s defense, however, when I was a teen I used to be a chronic truant – I’d stay in my room for days away from the world. When I’d miss school (as I often did), I would listen to Gerry and used to laugh my hole off at his irreverent humour.
Now that I’m in my 20s, however, I only had contempt for him and his shallow crudity – I can however, sincerely understand how the idiots and cretins of this country liked him though. We are, after all, an island of crude, populist c***s.”
geri ryan 7 of 9 from star trek ‘as long as shes above the ground i am happy’ its a little early for stout dont you think
“Some nights I go to bed, pick up my book where I left off the night before, and I don’t really remember the bits I’d previously read.”
Funny, I meant to list that as one of my pets hates in the forum thread but I forgot.
Heywood Jablome Says:
May 1st, 2010 at 1:21 am
64-9 now. That’s pathetic. And they were only chasing 139….
nice start with a 4 off the 1st ball. 2nd ball a wicket. downhill from there. They had the windies thinking for a moment. it wasn’t a bad performance considering the windies are allan stanford 20/20 champions..
Heywood Jablome Says:
May 1st, 2010 at 1:21 am
64-9 now. That’s pathetic. And they were only chasing 139….
nice start with a 4 off the 1st ball. 2nd ball a wicket. downhill from there. They had the windies thinking for a moment. it wasn’t a bad performance considering the windies are allan stanford 20/20 champions..
Whatever the fuck all that means
It got wobbly for the WIndies because the organisers won’t allow their fans to bring their pets into the stadium. Its a thing among the WIndie fans to bring little songbirds to the ground in cages. Its the sort of anxiety that transmits to the squad. Obviously.
Possibly the most interesting Sky Sports item I recall seeing over breakfast in the caff on a Saturday morning.
They showed a tense Guyana standoff when a guy with dreads up under the Marley bonnet arrive with his little songbird under his arm and was turned away.
He sort of looked at the security person for a second and turned around and loped away.
This is almost civil insurrection in Guyana it appears.
Tweet tweet baas. Tweet tweet.
‘Don’t worreh- bout a ting
‘cos
Every little ting … gonna be arite
Singing don’ worreh’
Tweet tweet.
Soz lads and lasses. Just had £100 worth of Dutch Cheese pressed upon me and ‘lo it worketh its miracle as you can see.
Fuckit.
well dk it is time for stout’ and i hope some of the wankers are gone off for the weekend. fuckers are in your ear golf or ruby or the wife fuck off down the bar and get the fuck away for me. yes i do need a pint
lol at songbird item captain. The adage is true – you really do learn something new everyday. dk; i’m getting texts from as far away as india about gerry. and they’re pretty similar to dublin texts. all this tripe from our unelected president, unelected taoiseach – kinda – mary fucking 4 pensions hanafin, miriam o’callaghan, joe duffy, it reminds me of that story about the fella who went to a funeral of a guy who he knew. when he heard all the people at the funeral saying how the deceased was such a nice guy he was sure that he must have walked into the wrong funeral.
I think Twenty demonstrated that reading is totally unsuitable to being while bollixed drunk, or even somewhat tipsy.
If I was going to ever read anything under the influence, it would be under the influence of cannabis, and I’d be reading something like Shakespeare’s sonnets, Yeats’ poetry or the Bhagavad Gita, or something a little psychedelic.
OTD: Where’s another alcoholic when you need one?
Sup guys. If you’re hungover or just want something interesting, check out this 13-part debate about the Catholic Church.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3DVJRoUYIE
Drunk Kitteh’s reference to being stoned and reading Yeats…
I am now encumbered by a large stiffie.
lol, explain please.
GOOD MORNING BANANA REPUBLIC!
*BURRPP.
I’m sitting here with my uber-astute boxing expert friend – of all nicks he’s nicknamed the captain – and he’s, for once, unsure about this one.
prettyboy mayweather is hot, hot favourite but mosley is on a run which is inversely proportional to his age, we’re pissed as on the dry and could be talking shite. a draw?
http://boxrec.com/list_bouts.php?human_id=352&cat=boxer
http://boxrec.com/list_bouts.php?human_id=4952&cat=boxer
cont
my boxing friend is a man u supporter and detests keano because of saipan
i am a gooner and love keano becasuse of saipan. training on a pitch like a minefield located at the oldest whorehouse in asia
we are both in agreement that tom humpries is a stroke of genius
where’s the fight? it’s 2.30 a.m. and red wine
“By Thursday evening he was gone again, leaving behind a trail of quotes and thoughts like breadcrumbs in a fairytale.”
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/sport/2010/0501/1224269478826.html?via=mr
Joe Hernandez, trainer to the boxer Lock, sitting on his stool in the corner getting breath for round 10 of 12, both boxers fucked
Joe Hernadez – “You the bad muthafucker here!”
Lock – mumbling ‘cos he’s fighting like a champ -”You said it”
Sky commentary – “Apologies for the bad language”
Joe – “That mutherfucker is a bitch!”
Sky – “hmmmmm”
boxing is the real deal
3.27 a.m.
there’s a young, big, red-headed mexican fighting a smaller, slower hispanic as a lead to the big-fight and it’s kicking.
there’s a whole a bunch of asian money occcupying real-estate all over the money seats.
this is vegaas.
Ali has just walked in the door
it doesn’t get better than this
i’d like to thank my editor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE1lLZFoKRQ
time for a walk a long the dodder to clear me head
Drunk Kitteh- Cap’n meanto say ‘got a large spliffie’ but a male dna/brain thing took over and temporarily embaraassed its owner.
Tweet tweet.
They have Leffe on draught in Solas.
Urgh.
That is all.
Odd that I choose this moment to check in. You’ll be the death of me yet.
leffe beer ten minutes wiping your arse and thats just the cheeks
Aaarrggh!!!
I have this horrible image in my head now of the Cap’n smoking a stiffie.
Go away!
FFS go away!
I get the sense that Itchy had a *few* pints last night…
*Gives you a cup of tea and a double panadol*
ugggh
How many did you have?
met “the captain” in gibneys at 10 building up to the fight, stayed up all night watching the fight ’til 5 drinking red wine which I notice this afternoon has stained a piece of my floor. the captain has left my building. the fight should have been stopped, mayweather is so, so, so quick. it’s all coming back to me now. ali was there. and paris hilton. and that annoying slapper with the huge knockers…what’s her face…..ddd..mariah fucking carey. anyhow, ali is a dude.
http://i42.tinypic.com/2rniy50.jpg
have a nice day; i’m off to the beach for puritanical penance……yeah, yeah, yeah..i know thats oxymoronic’ish . me fuckin head….red-headed mexicans too. there’s something about mexico and redheads, i nremember ross thomas writing about “never trust a red-headed mexican”
I have a schedule: drink every second day and read every second day. Reading drunk mushes up my brain.
Love your blog. Thanks for another good read!
Hey There I am having a problem seeing your posted comments on my ipad machine.
Just wanted you to know.
Thanks
Awesome point of view. Keep it up. Cheers
Awesome post. Will visit again. Cheers
Great article!
Thanks
Good blog!
Thanks