Northern Ireland explodes again

Here we go again. A large bomb went off last night in behind a British army barracks in County Down. It coincides with the transfer of policing powers from London to Belfast and comes just before a new justice minister is to be elected at Stormont.

We thought we’d seen the end of this kind of thing but Northern Ireland is being ‘dragged back into the past’, according to one politician.

It’s easy to point fingers and say it’s this group or that group but I believe it deserves wider analysis. Who really stands to benefit? Who could capitalise on a series of bombings? Whose profile would be greatly increased if the place descended into chaos and fear of the old times? You can talk about loyalists and republicans all you want, for it’s quite clear there can be only one suspect for last night’s bomb.

Slugger O’Toole.

Norn Iron politics has been boring as shite lately – the most exciting thing to happen was Iris Robinson sliding down the pole of youth and madness and ending up in a nuthouse somewhere. When you put it alongside worldwide scandals like Tiger Woods or Sandra Bullock’s husband going off and riding nazis it doesn’t even merit a couple of lines in the Belfast Telegraph or the Portstewart Chronicle. How is a website meant to maintain its profile with that kind of crap?

So I point the finger at dissident O’Tooleians, fresh from their recent Irish Blog Award. Make hay while the sun shines, so they say, and they know fine well that an upsurge in violence and mayhem equals more hits to their website, more clicks on their ads and increased revenue. They could make literally hundreds of pence from this.

We just have to hope the new Belfast controlled supercops aren’t blind to what’s really going on here.

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37 Responses to Northern Ireland explodes again

  1. The Cap'n says:

    I suspect they are getting bored with the lack of attention- a bit like Kerry Katona.

    You are in the news for a couple of decades and then suddenly there’s a peace process and no one pays any attention any more…

    Call it a Nostalgia Bombing.

  2. Twenty Major says:

    I eagerly await the Hello magazine photoshoot to herald their remarkable and purely coincidental rise in fortunes

  3. The Cap'n says:

    The Troubles II starring Liam Neeson and Clare Danes.

    Clare Danes plays a ruthless IRA assassin commissioned by mafia boss (Meg Ryan) to steal Liam Neeson’s pet dog Biscuit ahead of a magazine shoot …

  4. Lorcan the Lion says:

    John Waters was right. There’s nothing blogs won’t stoop to

  5. Maggot’s being awfully quiet too.
    Could it be a blogger conspiracy?

  6. Twenty Major says:

    A very good point about maggot. If we think blogs are ammoral they’ve got nothing on this guy.

  7. maggot says:

    ammoral ?

    We know where you live ……

  8. Twenty Major says:

    Genuinely scared now.

  9. maggot says:

    You’ll wake up in bed with Fabregas’s head beside you ….

  10. Twenty Major says:

    Have you ever used Ruud van Nistelrooy’s head on a United fan.

    “ARGH! A HORSE. A HORSE!!”, they’d cry.

  11. Feynmans Ghost says:

    Blogs are filthy dirty feckin things …I wouldnt have them in the house

  12. dan says:

    Glad you enjoy the banter about a terrifying bomb.
    Wankers.

  13. Twenty Major says:

    Yeah, if only some people were killed so we could laugh at them too.

  14. Twenty Major says:

    Blogs are filthy dirty feckin things …I wouldnt have them in the house

    Once you get them house trained they’re grand.

  15. maggot says:

    What is terrifying Dan is that all that will stand between us and the bombers will likely be Skeletor.

    1t.jpeg

  16. maggot says:

    That alas is David Ford, leader of the “don’t rock the boat it will disturb the property market” Alliance Party, who will likely be in charge of Policing and Justice.

  17. Fatmammycat says:

    *Weeps over Dan’s pary for our lots. He really need to find way to do instain us before we frigt back and kill ‘em wiv kindnessessss and sarcasmsss*

  18. The Cap'n says:

    Dan it was probably Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein. Thats what the CIA reckon anyway.

  19. Twenty Major says:

    How does he rank on the cunt scale, maggot?

    FMC – who kill their bomby when their bomby can’t fright back?

  20. maggot says:

    He’s as much uses as tits on a boar Twenty. A top-ranking bollix made all the more objectionable by Warp Factor 9 sanctimony.

  21. divneymathers says:

    “He’s as much uses as tits on a boar Twenty. A top-ranking bollix made all the more objectionable by Warp Factor 9 sanctimony.”

    The engines won’t take that kind of punishment for much longer Captain.

  22. maggot says:

    Dan it was probably Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein.

    I heard from a Bishop that it was the Jooze

  23. triangle says:

    what do man united fans do when they win the premiership…….turn off their PS3 and go to bed

  24. triangle says:

    Lech Kaczynski Twin brother has landed in Warsaw to identify his dead brother.

    Which gives me a great idea for a practical joke..

  25. triangle says:

    Because of the Lottery I now live rent-free in the lap of luxury. I play on my X-Box all day, watch TV, all of my meals are cooked for me and someone does my laundry.

    I got caught stealing scratch-cards.

  26. “Dan it was probably Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein. Thats what the CIA reckon anyway.”

    Toicfaidh Allah!!

  27. DD says:

    Boom boom.

  28. manuel says:

    arf….some wag on twitter said it was an excuse for the people of Holywood to be outside in their pjs….heh

  29. amanfromMars says:

    [quote]arf….some wag on twitter said it was an excuse for the people of Holywood to be outside in their pjs….heh[/quote] …..manuel Says:
    April 12th, 2010 at 11:12 pm

    And sadly, probably the highlight of their sorry lives, manuel, whilst the world is remodeled virtually online around them with some Novel ProgramMING from afar.

  30. Rory Carr says:

    Maggot’s assessment of David Ford was scurrillous, deplorable and reprehensible. May we have more, please?

  31. Twenty Major says:

    I’m sure he’d be only too happy to oblige

  32. The Devil says:

    Think it’s a bit rich for Rory Carr to wish to read more scorn being heaped on David Ford, after all Rory won the sluggero’toole prick of the year award 2010 to add to his other awards from previous years

  33. Twenty Major says:

    There’s an award for that?

  34. Rory Carr says:

    Thanks to The Devil for highlighting one of my many achievments. Now I’m going for the Twenty Major Cunt of the Year Award, but I hear that the competition is fierce.

  35. Twenty Major says:

    Damn straight, standards are high around these parts, Rory.

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