There was a man this morning in a place I was who was wearing two hats. One on top of the other.
I have always said the world was a better place when more men wore hats but wearing two hats is just taking the piss. I wanted to go over and remove one hat and say ‘One is enough. You wouldn’t wear two shoes on one foot, would you? So why wear two hats?’.
However, I did not approach him. His pencil thin moustache curdled something in my stomach, which was already in a quite delicate state. I find those moustaches creepy in the extreme. Yet here I am, no longer in the place where Johnny Two-Hats is, and I feel quite disgruntled still. It just seemed like he was having a laugh at everyone’s expense.
“Look at me”, he might as well have shouted, “I’m wearing TWO hats. TWO”.
We could all see him, us folk trying to go about our busy days without having our sensibilities offended by a chap wearing an extra hat. Yet he wantonly flaunted his double-hattedness.
What kind of a man wears two hats? I thought I’d seen it all at this stage but life has a way of surprising you.
I’ll tell you something though, there’s a man or woman out there who will come across this wicked chap and not choose the option I did. The hats will be removed from Johnny’s head, violence might ensue, but he’ll have nobody to blame but himself, the two-hatted cunt.
What? That’s all a bit messi twenty
He was obviously a usually-one-hatted man wearing a disguise.
(w)hats all that about?
Very good, peadar.
Never though of that, Lung. He looked a prat in el prat
Two hats = twats…..no?
Ah everybvody knows him. They call him ‘the Howth Heads’.
Was it two woolly work hats or two proper hat hats?
Two trilby type hats
Two hats = twats…..no?
heh, that works
SG:Probably 2 Trilbeys,the Stylish Two hatted cunt..
How was Barcelona Twenty?
Id like to see half hats of varying styles sewn together to make one kerrazy hat. Look left Im a sophisticat.. look right Im a bad ass rapper
Now that I could live with.
Fill, the drinking was good.
I’m in a right ripping humour today, therefore could you not have, like half this Godforsaken country, just minded your own business and went on your merry way this morning. On the other hand WHY would a man wear two hats. Twenty ya divil ya there was I thinking I had nothing to ponder today. I’m so delighted you met this creature otherwise I’d be lost for something to think about.
Wierd but effective means of drawing attention to yourself.Probably get yeh a hiding too in less civilised parts.
“He looked a prat in el prat”
Probably spends some time in Tossa too.
Gluey is very quiet. Probably out the back trying to figure out which hat to throw away.
Nah,he’s probably writing a fantastically witty and aserbic quip around the phrase “Doffing the Cap”…
Heh
Maybe he was trying to shoplift one of the hats? Thieving cunt.
I think it’s safer to think of people like that in the same vein as brightly striped Bolivian tree frogs or spectacled cobras – don’t talk to them, don’t touch them, don’t even make fucking eye contact.
How do you know he was called Johnny …
He might have been called eric or kyle
are you over-loaded the word johnny to be something its not
“are you over-loaded the word johnny to be something its not”
It’s a question we all want an answer to. Well, are you?
What can I say?
You wouldn’t wear two shoes on one foot, would you?
Tut – galoshes.
Hats all folks!!
Careful Twenty,
“The hats will be removed from Johnny’s head, violence might ensue, but he’ll have nobody to blame but himself, the two-hatted cunt.”
“violence might ensue, but he’ll have nobody to blame but himself” It’s yourself you would need to worry about. I’m an old man now but I’ve some skill and experience, and a strong ash walking-stick.
Yes, I am bald-headed and I have a great many hats. I wear a hat constantly, even in bed.
And I’m taking a hat downstairs I’ll usually do so by throwing it on top of the one I’m already wearing. And sometimes, yes, I forget to remove it, and go out with the two of them on.
It’s okay for you city-slicker writers – with central-heating, double-glazing and the big royalty cheques every day of the year.
Regards.
It’s okay for yo
PS And you are no oil-painting yourself.
I remember a group of them came down from the north during one summer.Wild little things,the one they bullied was my special lamb.Sure no one believed a word out of their mouths.Sweet memories.
Surely one’s relative attractiveness is neither here nor there in relation to one’s degree of hattedness?
Does a toupe count as a hat ?
Quite right.
And perhaps wearing hats in bed is why you’re bald, Ned
And why would anyone want to present themselves repeatedly as a religious community member who has gleefully abused numerous children? Am I having a sense of humour failure?
I wish that I had a head that could wear a trilby, this fat head will be the death of me!
Heh – when Homer got Snake’s hair as a transplant.
must be minted to be able to afford 2 hats. In fact you could say, he’s a multi-milliner.
*scratch
rip malcolm mclaren
Hasidic Jewish men wear two hats all of the time. A yarmuka under a black fedora. Odd thing though, the fedora is worn high on the head and no matter how windy the day, the hat stays put. I wonder, are they screwed on or nailed on.
Why would you wear a hat in bed? In case you have a wet dream?
must be minted to be able to afford 2 hats. In fact you could say, he’s a multi-milliner.
FFS – word envy.
By the time of his death in 1905, Dr Barnardo had established a large network of homes caring for about 8,000 children. After his death the Barnardos child care tradition grew, adapting to the changing needs of children and families. The emphasis changed from caring for children in residential homes to services that support children to stay within their families and communities,CARING NOT ABUSING!!!!!!!
C’mon – Doctor Barnardo was as real a person as Santa Claus.
well if the hat fits get under it
‘If you want to get ahead get a hat.’ Spike Milligan. And I am not arguing with the Spikester.
Keen hatologist was Spike.
“You wouldn’t wear two shoes on one foot, would you?”
Ever heard of galoshes, stupid cunt?
They’re not shoes, cockface.