In the place that you live
Posted on | March 11, 2010 | 32 Comments
I’m not the kind of person who would be on Sting’s side in anything. Even during his Simpson’s appearance I wanted the little boy who was down the well – who wasn’t down the well at all until Bart fell down the well – to die before Sting got there.
However, in one thing he is right and that is his insistence that people don’t stand too close to him. Today I was talking to somebody who stood way too close to me. And when I backed up a bit he forwarded down (I assume that’s the opposite).
It is horribly uncomfortable. Worse than shaking somebody’s hand to discover their palms are sweatier than prop forward’s gooch at the end of a game. You don’t want to wipe their sweaty hand slurm on your clothes, nor do you want to leave your hands dripping. Yet I would prefer that a hundred times to one encounter of a close stander.
Stupid making me agree with Sting cunts.
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32 Responses to “In the place that you live”
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March 11th, 2010 @ 5:43 pm
Just cultivate halitosis.
Or involuntary erections.
March 11th, 2010 @ 5:48 pm
I think the gang in Ron’s should join in a rousing chorus when you next cross the threshold: “Why do birds suddenly appear. Every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be….”
March 11th, 2010 @ 5:49 pm
Kicked in the testicles?
March 11th, 2010 @ 5:51 pm
No, that’s not it, though Karen probably wanted to do that to Richard.
March 11th, 2010 @ 5:54 pm
Someone told me that morning glories are to stop you falling out of bed in your sleep.
March 11th, 2010 @ 6:10 pm
Pole vault out of bed to greet the day HM.
March 11th, 2010 @ 6:45 pm
Was he an Arab ? There’s a cultural difference.
March 11th, 2010 @ 6:48 pm
I used to stand very close to the young ones,behind them.
March 11th, 2010 @ 7:35 pm
http://www.ndnguyen.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/personal-space.png
Stand on their toes. And if they persist cough in their face. And if they still persist, and they’re brunette, funny, nice etc send them to me at itchybollix, po box 1, here, in my space, dublin
.
March 11th, 2010 @ 7:52 pm
sting and bad breath reminds me this song written about his house
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BRjMvloXk0&feature=PlayList&p=C4750A77161EA0AA&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=3
it’ll make you dance
March 11th, 2010 @ 8:04 pm
Then there was the time I got a bit too close.Sure it was an act of God, it cleansed their soul.They moved me anyway.
March 11th, 2010 @ 8:26 pm
Timmy O’Toole – personally I’d love a Dymo labeller.
March 11th, 2010 @ 8:32 pm
Was it This guy?
The Close talker
March 11th, 2010 @ 9:27 pm
Heheh, I love all those. Got a high talker on the phone once and totally thought he was a girl. Very embarrassing.
I think Sting was dealing with a whole different issue, in fairness Twenty. That song always makes me think of the teacher/student affair storyline from Grangehill, with Faye. Anyone?
March 11th, 2010 @ 9:50 pm
Tucker ftw!
March 11th, 2010 @ 10:10 pm
I moved onto older ones, no danger of a Bishop Casey.
March 11th, 2010 @ 11:18 pm
http://www.grangehillfans.co.uk/history/alison.php
i once met ziggy in spain
March 11th, 2010 @ 11:20 pm
Who was the smackhead? Zammo?
March 11th, 2010 @ 11:22 pm
he was the smackhead but now he’s cash-rich these days with a key-cutting shop
http://www.grangehillfans.co.uk/starfile/macdonald.php
March 11th, 2010 @ 11:57 pm
He got turfed out of the Natural History Museum after being chased by a mob of screaming locksmiths
March 12th, 2010 @ 12:00 am
or something
March 12th, 2010 @ 1:28 am
uu, I hate those close standers too. I also hate people who hug you all out of sudden when you barely know them, or attempt to kiss you on the cheek (like French do).
I generally don’t like to be touched by people or have them stand closer than 3 feet away or look at me in the wrong way.
I generally don’t like people.
March 12th, 2010 @ 8:49 am
There’s also a higher risk of catching some flying conversational spittle with those personal-space invading cunts. Not to mention getting my size-twelves stood on.
And what about those guys who periodically slap you on the upper arm with the back of their hand while chatting, just to make sure you’re paying attention. Irritating übercunts.
March 12th, 2010 @ 9:01 am
It’s the low-talkers really get to me. Or the spitters.
March 12th, 2010 @ 10:02 am
Pack it in, Benny.
March 12th, 2010 @ 10:16 am
I used to have a client who had a very low voice with a touch of sandpaper – one of those that you can only get if you started off with a nice low voice and destroyed it over the years with booze and smokes.
I mistook her for a man and she was extremely insulted, but got to like me later.
March 12th, 2010 @ 10:55 am
“Crank Says:
March 11th, 2010 at 5:43 pm
Just cultivate halitosis.
Or involuntary erections.
”
Involuntary erection – lucky lucky bastard!
March 12th, 2010 @ 11:03 am
JJ…tune into channel 4 next thursday at 8 pm; you’ll be in heaven
March 12th, 2010 @ 11:26 am
itchybollix are there more sandpaper women?
March 12th, 2010 @ 3:27 pm
em, nope. Not sandpaper women. It’s a programme about aristocrats living in stately homes but have no income source. A “business guru” is employed to show them how to make some cash. Next week the aristocrat refuses to hug – he say’s “stay back”; he refuses the 2 kisses shiteology and then when the business guru asks him what he actually does with his days he tells her “none of your business”. it looks like it’ll be hilarious stuff. Channel 4; Thursday, 8 pm.
March 13th, 2010 @ 4:30 pm
Sounds like a proper fight for personal space alright. And privacy, too.
March 13th, 2010 @ 10:20 pm
Saw the trailer for that – the Aristo looked like he had trod on dog poo.