Despite sending my email to joe@rte.ie yesterday I got no reply bar an auto-response which wanted my phone number. They can go and shite. I don’t give my phone number to just any old cunt. This is a reasonably new thing on my part because I’ve given my phone number to some terrible cunts in the past but hey, I’ve learned from my mistakes.
I have recently had a spate of poxy marketing calls which are most annoying. I don’t know where they’ve gotten the number from (probably one of the terrible cunts being a terrible cunt) but I have found an easy solution. When they say, as they always do, “I’m just calling because … ” or “This will only take a few minutes but …”, it can be difficult to get rid of them.
Trying to tell them you don’t want to speak to them is no deterrent. They go through rigorous training to get around such things. So what I have taken to doing is making a sound like a retarded lion being violated by a rhino’s horn.
“Mmmmmrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooorrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!”
For whatever reason this shuts them up instantly. When they try and speak make the noise again. And again. Until they get so uncomfortable they end the call. And the beauty of it is you can use this even if it’s someone who isn’t a bottom feeding scumbucket like a phone marketer. Don’t fancy listening to your Ma drone on about her latest illness?
“Mmmmmrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooorrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!”
Customer getting you down as you try to get them to reinstall TCP/IP?
“Mmmmmrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooorrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!”
School on the blower to complain that your youngest son has been involved in a ‘trying to explode other kids faces’ incident?
“Mmmmmrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooorrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!”
Try it, you’ll never look back. I mean, you could just hang up, I suppose, but that’d be rude.
I don’t have much talent for animal noises, but saying,”Sorry, I have to go, I left the baby in the bath” always works for me.
Can we also use it in here when people post shit comments?
Mmmmmrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooorrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!”
Ha! I’ve been using such a tactic for years! It’s also brilliant for discussions in the pub that you’ve no interest in continuing.
And for fuckwits who misspell Shakespearean characters?
“Mmmmmrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooorrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!”
does it work on maggot?
doubt it
I actually did a very (very!) brief stint of telesales work for chorus/ntl when they were only Chorus. It was soul destroying. I still hate myself for it.
Liveline listeners have more important things to be doing. I think they’re all shouting “Mmmmmrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooorrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!”
does it work on maggot?
tedious is the best description for you.
the woman with the wooly cap is saying no but means yes
This is a must-read on the Willia O’Dea scum
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2010/0218/1224264713504.html
My technique with cold callers is to tell them I’ll have to get a grown-up & I wander off & leave them hanging on until they get really fed up waiting or worried about their targets or their call costs & they hang up. That way the inconvenience to them has been at least as great to them as to me.
Give me tedium anyday compared to other peoples xenophobic, homophobic, sectarian bigotry.
One advantage of having irish, Scottish, Welsh or the Hamely Tongue – once can launch into gibberish.
Saw that pic earlier, Conan.
Just stops short of Fr Ted’s “Down with this sort of thing”.
maggot and Itchy, will you invite us all to the wedding? The chemistry is sizzling.
And can I just say thank you to Peadar for always making me smile.
Carry on…
will you invite us all to the wedding?
Only if you promise to come in that sequined shell suit. Most fetching on you.
You’s are all invited to the wedding. Keeping with orange order tradition women will have to wear burka’s.
Can I be a flower girl? I can hide my knife in a posy dead easy.
Will the confetti be urine soaked?
heh, only the green flakes
Will the confetti be urine soaked?
You would be disappointed if it wasn’t.
And of course Itchy’s side would take care of the reception.
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2010/0218/1224264713484.html
All together now:
“It is old but it is beautiful
And it’s colours they are fine…”
Sing up at the back there.
Will there be much marching? Only I’m trying to decide which shoes go best with my burkha
Christy – our weemin float along like butterflies !
Hey Maggot? Whats the score and who’s winning?
Do your women sting like bees too?
I’d better give it a miss anyway, orange is such a difficult colour to wear attractively if you’re not hare krishna ish
Shame was looking forward to seeing Cap’n as flower girl.
Christy -If you Spotify have a search for Frank Harte singing about the wife of “The Lambeg Drummer”. Donal Lunny accompanies.
I was in Lisnaskea a few weeks ago – was gobsmacked to see Hare Krishnas.
Hey Maggot? Whats the score and who’s winning?
“Mmmmmrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooorrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!”
Thats the most intelligent thing you’ve said in two days…
I went down to your level so that you could understand me Toronto.
Mmmmmrrrrrraaaaaaaoooooooorrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!
should be the new national anthem.
”I went down to your level so that you could understand me Toronto.”
You mean off your moral high ground when it comes to your concern for the poor catholic children being abused by the priests?
Or your dismissive attitude to abuse of kids by Prodestants. A ‘one-off’, isn’t that what you called it?
I’ll never understand fuckers like you. SF’s Gerry Kelly would though since you’re the same breed. You should talk to him, he’s your type.
Chaps, if you want to continue that argument, please use yesterday’s post. Many thanks.
Fair point.
I think i’m going to use the line ‘i’ll have to go get a grown-up’ when a telemarker calls from now on. Its class.
Why the fuck would you answer the phone ? It’s never for you. ( well not in my gaff anyway)
My trick is to list off very offensive words and comments. Health and Safety laws generally mean that they cannot continue the call.
I got a call from Gallop last week and the lady was so flirty and phone-sexy she got me to agree to putting my name on their DB for future surveys….
That was me, Itchy. You sound like those scratchy recordings of James Joyce singing ‘Down By The Sallee Gardens’. Sorry.
I don’t answer numbers that i don’t know or that are withheld. Why would you want to talk to someone you don’t know
I gave the joyce buk a go last summer and failed miserably
That’s because you’re a cunt, at least thats what maggot said
Itchycunt!
haha..
I feel like I should behave like Kevin Myers and take a hissy fit but with a nick like mine I deserve all the abuse I get.
I see that a romance is blooming on the comments page. You’ve became a matchmaker Twenty.
That’s a scary thought, all things considered
So now more sadness about your lovelife ok Itchy? You have Cap’n sexily flirting on phone to you and Maggot for a bride – what more could you want?
a hole in his head?
Willie’s gone.
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2010/0218/breaking13.html
Wohoo.
This is fairly on-topic in some way or another, but I can’t work out how. Twenty, here’s a blog you might like.
http://isacunt.blogspot.com/
Joe Duffy is an utter cunt and the world needs to know…
Wedding is off. I’m eloping with Iris Robinson.
Thanks for the heads-up on Willie. So now the DPP will go after him?
Wait ’til you hear all the brown-nosing about the cunt now from FF & The Greens. Gormley is amoral
OK – O’Dea was FF and in a shit Government – but as on outsider looks to me as if he was fairly innocuous and unimportant as Minister for Armed Forces. Harney on the other hand I can see as a big target ( no pun intended ) because of the Health service problems – Am I missing something about O’Dea or was it just that he was vulnerable ? Had a look at Wikipedia – OK, I know it;s noit terribly relible, but I don;t see anything terrible and at leasthe was opposed to Haughey ?
This guy on RTE interviewing Micheal Martin is very good at latching onto Micheal Martins weasel words.
ah bollix. more religious fuck destroying lives while elected politicians fiddled.
O’Dea is as bad as they come maggot. He’s rrunk on power like harney, coughlan, cowen, etc. I want the greens to do the right thing. The greens are like that friend I have who I keep giving one more chance. fucking spineless fucks sometimes.
Cowen has taken on the department of defence. Good time to invade again maggot.
Cowen has taken on the department of defence. Good time to invade again maggot.
We have enough cunts of our own here – and plenty to spare. We could do you a swap though – Sammy Wilson for Willie ? I’ll even throw in a box of Viscounts and a Jedward ticket.
A departing Minister for defence is always a worry – you could be in for a Niger style Coup.
Be warned, President O’Dea.