Kabooooooom!

So Enda Kenny thinks unemployment will mean an upsurge in membership of dissident Republican groups. To be fair, he’s probably right. There’s only so much Dutch Gold you can drink, only so much daytime TV you can watch sitting around eating Pringles, before you decide blowing things up is a good idea.

Something to help break up the boredom of the day? Explode a car. Or a hotel. Or an army barracks. Without doubt terrorism is the natural progression for the unemployed.

It is similar to those people who smoke hash. As the experts tell us it is a ‘gateway drug’ and unquestionably that’s true because experts say so … on the radio and everything. These are the same experts who tell you to be aware when you make the leap from junior to senior school for there will be no end of ne’er-do-wells offering you drugs every which way you turn. Forget the fact that for most people trying to find drugs when they want them is a pain in the arse, the experts have it. Every person I know who ever smoked a joint is a meth-head crack whore with no teeth who gums people off for a tenner a time behind their local Tesco.

So it is with those who cannot find work. They will become killing machines, ruthless soldiers of destiny, and our nation will look like the world after the big war that the Terminator was sent back from. A concrete wasteland with explosions, smoke and lasers going ‘pew-pew’.

This is what this government has done. Look upon their kingdom, and weep.

And then blow stuff up.

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27 Responses to Kabooooooom!

  1. Gash says:

    Tiocfaidh Scobie Ár Lá

  2. Govstooge says:

    Damn! I want to blow stuff up too, but I work full time, so I wouldn’t be able to devote myself completely to the ol’ dissidence!

  3. Dutch Gold 4-eva........ says:

    Dutch Gold and Pringles is so Dublin, down here in culchieland we’re a little more refined, we prefer KP Scampi with our Dutch Gold.

  4. STIPES says:

    Experts? Fuck ‘em. If you don’t hear it from yer man in the corner down at Rons its not true

  5. peadar says:

    if we could get all these unemployed people who want to blow stuff up together and invade somewhere. Put them to good use

  6. Titler says:

    I was going to join the IRA but if it means hanging around with doleys then count me out

  7. Robert says:

    On the subject of gateway drugs, if hash is a gateway drug (and there is evidence for this theory) then maybe it’s because you have to buy hash off the same guy who can source you all the other, harder drugs.

    If you could buy 20 joints in Tesco, I doubt it would lead to anything other than forgetting where you parked your car.

  8. Jo says:

    Funny bunnies :)

  9. Actually sitting at my fucking desk in my fucking office all day is what really gives me the urge to detonate something. Letting my lie in bed until midday would probably turn all my thoughts to peace and light and buttercups.

    I once heard the definition of an expert as: A man who knows 143 different sexual positions but doesn’t know any women.

  10. rape-a-tron says:

    poverty and deprivation turn young people to drugs and crime. “dissident republicans” are little more than criminal gangs. the more people without prospects the more that will be dragged into the sphere of such gangs, especially if it’s wrapped in some ideological nonsense. fairly stands to reason.

    brits out.

  11. itchybollix says:

    allah ninebar

  12. Holemaster says:

    I went out with a girl who worked for Fine Gael. I told her Enda Kenny was not the man to lead the party into government. We didn’t go out much longer after that. She had the most magnificent breasts though. And she was very hot. And her family is wealthy.

    Shit.

  13. Explanation for the huge public sector in the north then.
    ‘We’ll blow the place to shit unless we get either a united Oireland or £500 a week. Choice is yours!’

  14. razzer says:

    wow. i dont know what to think any more.
    it’s like woody allen coming out in support of the muslims kicking the israelis into the sea or something…

  15. Loco Lobo says:

    Wanta blow stuff up? Come on over to the States, join the army and get your wish. You have your choice of desert or mountains in which to work. No waiting. Lotsa room for enterprising yoots with time on their hands.Boots and clothing supplied free.

  16. SuperGrover says:

    Holy crap, dude! That sounds awesome!

    U.S.A… U.S.A… U.S.A…

  17. Crank says:

    Mind you, when a relation of mine was asked why he joined the Old IRA, he said it was for “a bit of diversion”.

    There was no TV back then.

  18. maggot says:

    Bit of a coincidence – I’m just back from a Pilgrimage to the Bishops Gate in Derry – that’s where James was refused entry as it was after hours. Then a trip round Creggan – dozens of scruffy dogs, not one wearing a license disc. It’s an outrage. Have dog licenses declined in the ROI ?

  19. maggot says:

    Incidentally – Newt in fine form about folks blowing themselves up

    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2010/0127/1224263210196.html

    This bit is especially true – there is a very cliches statue in Derry of 2 men stretching out hands towards each other.

    A peace process memorial must be a large-scale work of sculpture containing two objects entwined or touching, or almost touching for added poignancy. Obvious places to hang a parking cone should also be included.

  20. itchybollix says:

    What age is Newt? 6?

  21. maggot says:

    If he was you might be able to understand him.

  22. Twenty Major says:

    Now now, play nice.

  23. Fat Sparrow says:

    And I here thought it would just mean an upsurge in WoW.

  24. Dreamweaver says:

    Enda Kenny really is light weight. Time after time he delivers the most potent piss and vinegar. A little depth would would really elevate his credibility – not just this kind of generalist/unfounded scare-mongery. Poor elocution too – God knows who in FG has been looking out for him all these years. His demeanor and body language has the fine qualities more often seen in boundary-conscious policemen. We’ll rue the day this man is in a position of power.

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