I was checking back through my drafts folder, as I do from time to time, and came across a 1500 word epic about a man called Robert Colfield whose puppy got stuck up a tree and was rescued by Paddy McAloon from Prefab Sprout who then asked to be completely wrapped in tinfoil as a reward for his bravery.
I have not got the first recollection of ever writing this and how it managed to span 1500 words is beyond me. A sample:
As the grateful owner began to sheath him in the foil, starting at his feet and moving slowly upwards, Paddy McAloon thought long and hard about why he had rescued the dog, . In the end he decided it was because he was a good person, not like Marti Pellow or that big-lipped one from Johnny Hates Jazz and he was thankful he hadn’t joined them when they came to him with the proposal in late 1989.
There is no mention of what that proposal was but I can see why McAloon rejected it. It would be like Adam Sandler and Timmy Mallet trying to solve the banking crisis, but with more heroin. I used to play football with a bloke who looked like Marti Pellow. He had that same spiked hair and those weird straight line teeth. He was a pretty good player all the same and didn’t appear to be as annoying as Pellow, although I rarely socialised with him.
Even on nights out with the lads from the team he more often than not stayed at home. Whether that said much about us, or him, I have yet to decide.
I wonder if your animal loving depiction of Paddy McAloon might be misplaced. I remember going to a Prefab Sprout gig many years ago and he bit the head off a bat.
At least I think it was Prefab Sprout.
Must have been something to do with a plan being foiled.
It certainly was half baked.
sounds proper baked
I’ve got 6 things on my mind, you’re no longer one of them
bonny’s not coming home, he don’t live at home
Save your speeches, flowers are for funerals
random perfection from paddy
Not much mileage in tin foil based puns, is there?
McAloon had decent beards.
I pined over many girls to their songs. Still listen to Steve McQueen a fair bit.
I used to play football with a bloke who looked like Marti Pellow.
I’ll bet he’s the cunt who took the missing football boot – probably to sell for a fortune after your death.
That Prefab Sprout album of demos that was out last year was pretty good.
McAloon is as mad as a lorry though…
“I pined over many girls to their songs.”
pined, yeah right.
OK, I was pinned over many girls.
Are lorries mad?
McMenemy certainly is.
Oh man …
“McMenemy certainly is.”
Back of the net!
You are playing with the best here Twenty !
I dreamed about a dog we had when I was a kid last night…and listened to Prefab Sprout today. Needless to say reading this tonight gave me a shiver
Stay away from the foil