Films I watched over Xmas

Where the wild things are – very annoying little child creates a magical world where creatures with giant heads build a fort and all sleep on top of each other until one of then becomes friends with owls which ruins everything because, as we all know, owls are cunts. Unimaginably boring, tedious gash. The greatest advert for children needing video games ever. If he’d had a PS3 or an xBox we would have been spared this shite. 1/10

Inglorious Basterds – A Tarantino film which really didn’t seem like a Tarantino film. Which is probably why I quite liked it. 6/10

Pandorum – bloke wakes up in space to discover the baddies are the leftovers from the Will Smith debacle that is ‘I am legend. Kind of Aliens meets Home Alone in a spaceship but without Joe Pesci. 2/10

The Descent – a group of mostly really annoying women go down a cave for no good reason to find it is populated by underground mole people with sharp teeth on whom the makers of ‘I am legend’ based their baddies. Some good gruesomeness with things going people’s eyes and the really annoying Irish girl horribly breaking her leg which really served her right. 5/10

The Damned United – not as good as the book by a long shot but then the book is really excellent. The film is a bit twee and insubstantial in comparison. Watchable though. 6/10

Kingpin – yeah, I’d seen it before and some of it is a bit dated now but Bill Murray is awesomely creepy and the landlady doing that thing with her fingers to stimulate crusty cunnilingus is a moment of cinematic genius. 7/10

Ghost Dog, way of the Samurai – another oldie but the soundtrack is awesome, the stuff between Ghost Dog and the French speaking ice-cream guy is ace, and despite all the minging pigeons it’s a top film 9/10

The Hurt Locker – I thought they were doing the old Lethal Weapon “I’ve only got 24 days till I retire” thing but they weren’t. More tense than being a bar with Brian Lenihan and the head of news from TV3. 8/10

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55 Responses to Films I watched over Xmas

  1. roryjohn says:

    Saw Avatar yesterday in 3D – great effects (worth going for them alone) but absolute and utter shite dialogue.

  2. Twenty Major says:

    Smurfs in Space. Really could not be arsed.

  3. Fill3rup says:

    Hurt Locker – Excellent movie..
    Reminded me of Generation Kill,but stuff actually happens..

  4. Twenty Major says:

    heh. I watched two episodes of Generation Kill and decided not to watch the rest. Might give it another go. Or not.

  5. Fill3rup says:

    Its good,but theres fuck all action.
    The Dialogue is excellent and it gives a good idea of just how tedious and extremly dangerous it is being an invading force in an Old testemant land…

  6. Holemaster says:

    Generation Kill is well worth the effort. You’re not a true Wire fan otherwise.

  7. Twenty Major says:

    How dare you!

    I think I’ll watch The Wire again this year.

  8. Sherlock Holmes was pretty good. So was The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus. The weirdest film I saw over the holidays was The Visioneers.
    All worth a look.

  9. Twenty Major says:

    I can’t get my head around Guy Ritchie doing Sherlock Holmes.

  10. Fill3rup says:

    I saw Anvil over the xmas again,it is one of my favourites from last year..
    Watchman was better 2nd time around..

    The Hangover was the most hyped unfunny piece of shit i have had the displeasure to waste 2 hours over..

  11. rape-a-tron says:

    an owl is worth at least 10 twentys.

  12. Holemaster says:

    I have a new test for prospective girlfriends. They must watch the Wire and most importantly, get it. They must be saying ‘True Dat’ and ‘it’s all in the game yo’ within a few days. They’re not alloyed say ‘Sheeeee-it’. That’s only for me.

  13. Fill3rup says:

    I have a new test for prospective girlfriends. They must watch the Wire and most importantly, get it. They must be saying ‘True Dat’ and ‘it’s all in the game yo’ within a few days. They’re not alloyed say ‘Sheeeee-it’. That’s only for me.

    ..Still single HM?

  14. morgor says:

    hmm, i remember someone recommending ghost dog to me before and when i watched it I was horribly disappointed. can’t remember enough about the film to say what was bad about it though.

    Also, willies.

  15. Fill3rup says:

    I loved the Mafia guy in it that knew all of the Lyrics to the rap music..

  16. Twenty Major says:

    heh, this bit – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6dMTwURRns

    Warning: contains spoiler after 1’20 or so.

  17. Radge says:

    Best film I saw last year was Waltz With Bashir – I still can’t get over the majesty of it.

    Avatar – I keep saying I will but probably won’t bother. Not my thing, and now all I’ll think is Smurfs In Space.

    Generation Kill – Like yourself, Twenty, one episode and I was done. I’d already seen Jarhead (good) so I didn’t see the point, and I love The Wire.

    Anvil – I didn’t love it. I barely liked it.

    The Hangover – Tosswank.

    Damned United – Book infinitely better.

    I’m currently rewatching The Sopranos. Box-set for Christmas plus some very gay socks which I destroyed.

  18. Damien says:

    The Hurt Locker – a brilliant movie, kept me on the edge of the seat for the entire movie.

    Kingpin, belly laughs all the way.

    I watched season 5 of the wire over the xmas, it’s TV crack… once I started watching again I couldn’t stop. Met David Simon in Dublin last year, an ace writer and he came across as a decent sort.

  19. grimsaburger says:

    Since I’ve been held hostage by a wee tyrant for the last 7 months, I’m forced to recommend movies from back in the musty part of my brain. You mentioned that The Hurt Locker was tense; I recall A Simple Plan, from back when Billy Bob Thornton was 80% actor and only 20% douchebag, as being the most tension-filled movie I’ve ever seen. It’s one of those I’d like to see again to make sure I wasn’t a complete idiot for thinking it was so good, because I don’t remember a big hubbub being made about it.

    Also, Ghost Dog always ranks somewhere on my top 10 or 20 of all time.

  20. Radge says:

    A Simple Plan is brilliant – bought it recently and it stands the test of time.

  21. cocopop says:

    royal family xmas special was great

  22. I heard about this comedy where the government of a certain country, during a prolonged period of subzero conditions, decided to grit and salt the outside lanes only of motorways.

  23. The Mowl says:

    Sam Rockwell was great in ‘Moon’ if you’re into sci-fi..

  24. Twenty Major says:

    I liked Moon, but I think that’s because I was glad for Bowie’s son more than anything, Bowie freak that I am.

    A simple plan, is that where they find a load of money?

  25. Grimsaburger says:

    Yeah. And that’s about all I can remember of it except there were also snowmobiles.

  26. fill3rup says:

    Sam Raimi directed it.. by all accounts,it got him the Spiderman gig

  27. maggot says:

    Watched bits of various Matrices but too much keanu.

  28. maggot says:

    Film linked :

    Front runner for 2010 Cunt of the Year ?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8439200.stm

  29. Twenty Major says:

    Cunt of all time.

  30. itchybollix says:

    It’d be nice to send Bono to Saudi to get his tongue cut out. He just never, ever knows when to shut-the-fuck-up.

    HM – I can count myself as a wire fan but generation kill kills me with feelings of ennui.

    I will rent The Hurt Locker; I saw the trailers and thought….maybe…but now that it’s recommended by a such a distinguished bunch of cunts it’s a definitely. I love Kingpin…especially the guy who grabs his balls…oh no…that’s the one with The Dude…Kingping is the crunchy hand one.

    My fave films this xmas were Reversal of Fortune, Annie (from my Billie Barry days – “you, move back 2 rows”..*whimper) and My Left Foot. I seem to keep watching old stuff which I’m comfortable with..must consult my shrink and/or move on.

    RIP or whatever he’d like for himself to Michael Dwyer the film critic; he was a dude.

  31. Dodharchu says:

    Jesus! I take it you won’t be winning the RTE Film Critic of the Year Award. For this year. Or last year. Or this decade. Or last decade. Or … (fill this space)

  32. Magoo says:

    The only thing I can remember watching is Rita,Sue and Bob too, but I know there were definitely more, must have blocked them out.

  33. maggot says:

    Rita,Sue and Bob too, one of the greats.

    Just had a splendid dinner. Lentil curry with home made yoghurt, salad and pitta bread – delicious!

  34. itchybollix says:

    maggot is the dalai lama

  35. Maria says:

    Twenty – a suggestion – how about a guest blogger from time to time when you are running low on ideas. These last two efforts were a bit tired.

  36. itchybollix says:

    you must have seen Memento Magoo. That would explain it

  37. itchybollix says:

    Maria? Do you do the gee?

  38. maggot says:

    maggot is the dalai lama

    I prefer sheep

  39. Maria says:

    Sorry, Dublin vernacular is lost on me.

  40. Twenty Major says:

    Jesus! I take it you won’t be winning the RTE Film Critic of the Year Award. For this year. Or last year. Or this decade. Or last decade. Or … (fill this space)

    Short and to the point. Those are the kinds of reviews people want in this Twitter generation world we live in.

    Maria, fuck off, boring cunt.

  41. maggot says:

    a cunting cunt.

  42. Maria says:

    Twenty there there, a bruised ego really hurts.

  43. itchybollix says:

    Mar. Why not do one of two thigs. Contribute to the blog in the spirit of the blog or don’t.

  44. Maria says:

    Because this blog could do with a little spice. It is a very cosy little club with maggot, magoo and others meekly echoing Twenty like a group of fawning lapdogs. Twenty says cunt, magoo says cunting cunt – big laugh all round. Disagree with Twenty and you are boring – most terrible of all insults.

  45. Twenty Major says:

    So you think scattergun insults to me and the people who read and comment adds ‘spice’?

    The reality is that you are boring, you’re a fairly poor troll by any standards, and you should probably find something better to do with your time.

  46. maggot says:

    magoo says cunting cunt

    Cunt cannot even insult the right cunt.

  47. Maria says:

    Films I watched over Xmas 46
    New year’s resolutions 2010 54
    Happy New Year, cuntos 186
    Headline Correction 55

  48. Holemaster says:

    Aw. I remember my first blog posts.

  49. fill3rup says:

    Maria:I find your contributions shallow and pedantic..
    You could actually muck in,instead of standing at the side throwing in the odd insult and stroking your chin..
    You never know,you might have a laugh,if ,that is, you have a sense of humour?
    Although maybe you might be better off over on Boards,where our sort of profanity is strictly prohibited..

  50. rapeathome says:

    avatar is a decent watch people and you will see it eventually so best see it now in cinema’s before the hype and bluster ruins it completely.

    if you like apocalypto you’ll like avatar, if you dont liek apocalypto you are a jerk. or maybe a jew.

    maria i dig your buzz with the trolling and making fill cru and that but i fear you’re a dude and that’s just, well it’s a bit paedo if you know what i mean, creepy like.

  51. The Mowl says:

    ……..yyyyawnnns.

    …………scratches head.

    ….and so on…

  52. Conan Drumm says:

    Ghost Dog is one of the greats. Looking forward to Hurt Locker when it reaches my living room.

  53. Damien says:

    I’ll have a bunch of your finest bananas Senor Lidl!

    Bananas and Charlie, a weird but effective combination for those of you who suffer with lack of energy.

  54. maggot says:

    Damien – bananas are rich in tryptophan to protect the mental health which renders the charlie quite safe.

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