Headline correction

I love the BBC but sometimes their headlines could use a little work.

Click for big.

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Blogging light due to intense consumption of alcohol. Normal service should resume when drinking returns to manageable, 3 bottles of wine a day instead of 6, territory.

Hope you all had a good one, except for those you I don’t like. I your Christmas was shit. Just like your life.

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55 Responses to Headline correction

  1. Conan Drumm says:

    Same to you sir, and a happy new one.

  2. Twenty Major says:

    Cheers, Conan. Hope you had a good ‘un.

  3. Conan Drumm says:

    Indeed I did. Although there still seems to be a surfeit of alcohol around the house, plus Santa brought one of those new, nifty beer-making thingamybobs that makes up forty pints. I’ll let you know how I get on with it as long as you don’t tell Ron or any of his vinter/offie mates.

  4. Fill3rup says:

    Back at work…pisser..
    But had a good Christmas,and looking forward to 2009 fucking right off…

  5. The Mowl says:

    Like christmas, the general shittiness of life can be measured in ratios proportioned on the James Blunt scale. Therefore he may have an intrinsic social value. Or, on the other hand, not.

    Is he related to Damien Rice at all?

  6. itchybollix says:

    happy xmas mutherf$$kers.

    I got to the bit about Dido in the article when I decided to stop reading it and get back to hoovering. Dodi died, the Dodo died, Dido must be shitting it. ugh. She’s the equivalent of that useless cunt…what’s her name, “eartly, haunting, angel believing tripe…fuck..what’s her..Enya, enya and Dido; the new water-torture.

    happy xmas, hope it keeps happy too. and yes, James Blunt is a cunt.

  7. maggot says:

    what did you get Throatripper and Bastardchops for Christmas ?

    What did Santa drop down your Chimney ?

  8. Christy says:

    Glad you enjoyed it & are continuing to do so. I haven’t been around here very long but seem to have become strangely addicted, so I’m glad to see you back – however many bottles of wine.

  9. Loco Lobo says:

    Ah…booze. So good and so much fun the night you pour it into yourself. Then it’s morning.

  10. Christy says:

    PS Am strangely addicted, NOT addicted to strangley!

  11. Twenty Major says:

    Lips sealed, Conan.

    I got Bastardface the usual, a clutch of plump orphans, while Throatripper had to make do with a dolphin.

  12. maggot says:

    I hope it was tuna friendly Dolphin ?

  13. Christy says:

    The collective noun for orphans, especially when freshly presented to Bastardface, is a snivelling

  14. Ten Park Drive says:

    Any of you guys happen to know the price of a bottle of Santa Margherita Pinot Grigio in Ireland?

  15. Conan Drumm says:

    TPD, that depends… which part of Ireland?

  16. moss says:

    One piece of orphan for bastardface would be a snivel.

    sounds rather tasty all the same. Throw another child on the grill twenty

  17. Medbh says:

    John Mayer is a way bigger cunt than James Blunt, by the greasy factor alone.

  18. Twenty Major says:

    I don’t know who John Mayer is.

  19. itchybollix says:

    That’s a bold statement Meabh but I respect your opinion. I don’t know who he is either

    Cunt Factor xmas Top 10 2009*
    * Based on people/cunts who you know who listen to and have positive things to say about the below useless cunts.

    Joint 1st – Blunt/Mayer
    3rd – Dido
    4th – Enya
    5th – Michael Buberry
    6th – Shakira
    7th – That complete and utter useless shite who is Chris De Burgh
    8th – Muse
    9th – Kasabian
    10th – loads and loads more but I gotta go to the pub soon and listen to the useless fucks for the night.

  20. Damien says:

    Chris fuck De nanny Burgh is the biggest Cunt of them all!

    Hope all of you Cunts have a happy new year.

  21. Peadar says:

    Back at work…pisser..
    But had a good Christmas,and looking forward to 2009 fucking right off…

    aha hahahaha. sucker. but sure someone has to peel the spuds :)

  22. maggot says:

    Some wonderful reading in the IT – 1979 papers released, including the discussions about the Papal visit – the state decided not to seek reimbursement for security costs and this gem

    “Releases delayed due to fears Dublin homes would be burgled”

    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2009/1230/1224261407555.html

  23. Feynmans Ghost says:

    >> Throatripper had to make do with a dolphin.
    Save me the head twenty ..I need a new hat

  24. Sounds like Christmas is going well. Enjoy!

  25. Miles O Tool says:

    Among the immortals of annoying cunts – Brian Kennedy and Ronan fukken Keating reign supreme. Even thinking about the bastards makes me feel like opening a vein.

  26. Seargeant Moran says:

    Hey Twenty, the community police offcie got a bottle of Absinthe from the ould wans this christmas. Me and the lads on the unit are wondering whats the best way to drink it.
    New Years eve might be a good night to get stuck in. Its usually quiet on new years eve when we lock the station door, take the phones off the hook and turn down the radio…….

  27. maggot says:

    Must admit, Brian Kennedy gets right up my nose as well Miles!

  28. Medbh says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT3ufTZJE2A

    He’s the dude who did the song linked above “Your body is a Wonderland” but is more famously known for dating women in Hollywood like Jessica Simpson Jennifer Aniston. He’s Mr. Douchetastic 2009.

  29. maggot says:

    Sounds like, deep down, you fancy him Medbh!

  30. JJ Celery says:

    My Christmas was dreadful, obviously Twenty doesn’t like me.

    It must be because I actually like a few Damien Rice songs.

  31. maggot says:

    The offer is still open JJ! 2010 in NI ?

  32. Tonstant Weader says:

    Blunt the Helium-Voiced Cunt…hate him too.

  33. idlebones says:

    Happy New year, and all that shite. May all your Orphans be Tuna friendly and vacuum packed for taste and freshness.

  34. Git says:

    The offer is still open JJ! 2010 in NI ?

    …’The Best Of Bread’ on the stereo…

    Perhaps a Kit-Kat under your pillow?

    How could you refuse?

  35. Elvis says:

    Happy new year to you all. Yiz bunch of bastards.

  36. maggot says:

    All the viscounts a girl could ever want!

    Git – the offer was NOT based in any way on ( or aimed at leading to the application of) the maggot method. Just a platonic offer to a nice person.

  37. Holemaster says:

    I think I saw a small old lady flying past the window. It’s pretty awful weather out there tonight. All the better for a large Jameson and slice of Christmas cake by a roaring fire.

  38. morgor says:

    I think i might shit my liver…

  39. Size Ten says:

    Happy new year to the host, and all that lot that get here, the Bishops, Priests and Politicians’ must be delighted that you’re suffering from over exposure to the pleasure of the grape, My new year wish is’ that all them Nigerian fuckers that owe me the money’ they’ve promised me’ for the last five years” that they’re teeth turn black, and they’re arse holes turn white’ and make better targets for the great white hunter’ any local white chunter will do.

  40. JJ Celery says:

    Well, maggot, how could I refuse? The expert on warm soapy water… only that NI part repulses me.

    Nah, I will spend New Years on my own as planned.

  41. maggot says:

    I live in a beautiful part of NI JJ – do you like eels ? – and have full central heating!

  42. Drunk Kitteh says:

    I’d kill each and every of those fucking Israeli cunts myself.

  43. maggot says:

    How did we get onto Israelis ? Did you realise you had shagged Dana International ? Could be worse – you might have shagged Dana original.

  44. Dave says:

    Ahhhh, šhîtę – I did fuck Dana. Now – let’s drop a motherfucking nuke on Israel and London.

  45. Globetrotter says:

    You from the Toome area Maggot?

  46. Jack Hackett says:

    I like your style you feckin bollox. Have a shite New Year.

    jack

    Jackstartled.jpg

  47. maggot says:

    Not a million miles away Globe.

  48. Yippee says:

    So I managed to keep every one in the household alive through yet another Christmas, ie; no one choked on the turkey, electrocuted themselves on the fairy lights, tripped over the comatose dog, stabbed themselves with the electric knife that only gets used at Crimbo, inhaled their own vomit, or strangled another family member over the jokes in the crackers.
    So I’d say a successful Christmas, overall.
    Just the next 12 months to face now, and we’ll be grand!

    Happy New Year to all!

  49. JJ Celery says:

    Maggot I don’t believe that there are ‘nice parts of NI’ and eels – yuck, don’t like them at all.

    But I might need this invitation soon, my significant other has failed to make an appearance for new years this year so I will have to kill him – can I stay over in your place for a while to make sure Gardai won’t come for me?

  50. maggot says:

    Of course! What a louse to leave you all alone!

  51. Maria says:

    what is your obsession with belittling women. you are a dirty warped little prick.

  52. Twenty Major says:

    Questions should come with a question mark.

  53. Maria says:

    .. and you should not come at all.

  54. Magoo says:

    I thought it was dolphins you belittled…I’m confused.
    (You evil, fish-hating bastard)

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