Ireland was on red alert last night after a severe weather warning. Met Éireann urged people to take care on the roads due to icy condidtions and gave notice of the possibility of intense freezing then unfreezing over the coming days.
“It looks as if there’ll be a bit of snow”, said Dr Albert Cumulus, “which will, of course, make the whole country grind to a complete halt. A light dusting = all emergency services closing down, people barricading themselves into their houses after panic shopping and buying all the bread and milk they can in the supermarket”.
The worst is still to come though, according to experts. Seamus Cockbunion, who can guage the weather by the stench of his own urine, reckons things will get worse before they get better. “Dere’ll be a some o’ dat old snow all raight … twill look nice an’all when it’s white and dat … but before de kids have even put a carroh in de nose of de snowman de rains’ll come. And when de rains come den you get … de slush”.
While many have fond memories of the ‘big snow’ in early 1982, the fun of being able to leap off roofs without breaking your back has forced a kind of collective amnesia regarding the ‘big melt’. Ireland had to wade through billions of gallons of dirty, brown wet snow, as if the roads were covered in shit flavoured Slush Puppies. The place looked dirtier than a knacker’s camp after coming down off a load of acid.
“Beware de slush”, said Cockbunion. “Don’t say I didl’t warren ye. Dere’ll be slush everywhere”.
Fianna Fail have asked for calm though saying they’d been collecting funds for such an eventuality for years.
Bring on the sliding buses.
It’s trying to snow now. Boo
I wonder how our African bus drivers and taxi drivers will cope with snow. There’s not much of that there unless youre driving people at the top of kilimanjaro
It just snowed here for exactly 4 minutes. Then the sun came out and the snow has now all gone. Good.
Lorcan, snow will not affect our African taximen in the slightest – they still won’t know how to get to Ballybough.
Snowballing cyclists was one of the highlights of the big snow.
Driving in snow or ice is cool, though. I love that sensation of the car drifting unexpectedly sideways around a roundabout. Really keeps you on your toes.
Then again, I also derive an inordinate amount of pleasure from driving under motorway flyovers in the rain and hearing the brief silence of no rain on the car, followed by the sound of the rain again, so maybe I’m just easily pleased.
are the travellers at the auld acid now too?
snow is fun for Gods sake.
make yourself feel better go out and buy a child car-seat as a christmas present for someone you hate, but pretend you like. Tell him Gay Bur-ens told you to buy it. Either that or tell them you sent a chicken to Africa with their name on it..
Supergrover, I’d say you’re mildly autistic like myself.
@ daithi – good point!
I like driving with my wheel directly over the lines for the cycle lane. It makes a great ‘thum thum thum thum thum thum’ noise
Useful when you drift off from from drinking too much cough syrup.
Cough syrup is for fools. I use Cointreau
Autism eh? thats whats wrong with me.
Cheers Holemaster!
Autism is great.
Three weeks after the big snow melted, I found the remnants of a snow man in a shaded part of bushy park. It was mainly yellow and brown snow though.
Snowed yesterday in Jockland, freezing hard today.
You’ll find lots of yellow and brown stuff in the undergrowth of bushy park. It’s a proper little jungle of sin.
No snow here yet. But we got the cold, -7 at the moment. Need to get a furry dead animal type hat for my head.
I can’t wait, that would give me an excuse to come to work in my heavy duty thick red leather trekking boots, and I would kick them bastards in their shins with metal reinforced parts of my boots and pretend that it was by accident and snicker when they get out of sight, limping!
What’s snickering?
It’s laughing for 26.385 miles.
How will the doggers manage?
Laughing in a covert or partly suppressed manner.
Or it might have something to do with laughing after you ate snickers, with your teeht covered in chocolate.
I’m never sure.
So what’s sniggering then?
oh come on, use Google before you ask :>
So what’s sniggering then?
Racist laughter
Laughing after you eat an african taxidriver.
I think
^ DAMN YOU AND YOUR SPEEDY TYPING MAGGOOOOOOOOOT!
Using Gluey’s puter Ron?
Dere’ll be slush everywhere”.
Fianna Fail have asked for calm though saying they’d been collecting funds for such an eventuality for years.
Took a while but I got there in the end.
Happy Christmas maggot
http://tinyurl.com/yh5erjv
Oh my, that is shocking.
I thought the Shinners were pretty quiet about the Murphy Report. Or was it just RTE censoring them?
Considering the number of children they maimed and murdered they know they are on a sticky wicket HM, and despite what they say about being a secular party, they really don’t want to lose the rosary bead republican vote.
Ah yes. Forgot about the child maiming.
I was using Glueys keyboard alright. We were surfing the auld net together ;)
As long as that is all you are doing together, we don’t want any immorality
FF know a thing or two about slush funds alright.
are the travellers at the auld acid now too?
don’t be so fucking stupid, knackers are very religious and drugs are against their religion. A bit of robbing, beating and scrwing theri sister is ok though
No apparently the cunts are mad into the drugs these days… I mean you would be wouldnt you?
There’s a blizzard raging 3000 odd miles west of you. A spike in the heart attack stats will occur tomorrow when we try and dig out from the bastard.I wonder if they keep chilblains stats…
Good thing about the cold weather is that long term it saves a fortune as the crumblies turn their toes up!
Winter is cool.