European 44 1/2

I was in the supermarket the other day and I was followed by a man on crutches. Everywhere I went he was right behind. Clickity-clicking that crutchy noise. This bothered me somewhat but not unduly. Until I realised that the reason the man was on crutches was because one of his feet was missing.

Obviously I have no idea what happened, accident, diabetic tragedy, landmine or something else, but I found it most discomforting. Was he looking at my feet with great envy? What if he were an eccentric millionaire who, having already lined up a personal Dr Nick style surgeon, would kidnap me and hack off one of my feet so as to complete his set?

Scary thoughts. I like my feet just where they are, thank you very much. Luckily my recent fitness regime paid off and I was able to outrun him in the canned goods aisle.

He’s out there though, foot watching. I know it.

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26 Responses to European 44 1/2

  1. divneymathers says:

    That was Kaiser Soze….. there’s nothing wrong with his feet.

  2. Mosheen says:

    He might be expecting you to do something with them…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6vdD5HOSgw

  3. maggot says:

    You’ll be lying awake in your scratcher imagining you hear crutchy noises ……

  4. Fill3rup says:

    ah Twenty,what if the shoe was on the other blah blah blah..?

  5. Holemaster says:

    A diabetic tragedy?

    Like suddenly getting his foot crushed by a diabetic driver? Or maybe being shot by an interrupted diabetic burglar?

  6. Radge says:

    Saw him surrounded by a couple of people on Wicklow Street yesterday.

    “He’s faking it,” I wanted to say, but didn’t have the balls.

  7. Twenty Major says:

    I’m pretty sure his crutches are loaded with tranquiliser darts and such.

  8. Git says:

    surrounded by a couple of people
    Hmmmm…

  9. Twenty Major says:

    Fridays usually are.

  10. Fill3rup says:

    Did anyone hear that recording from the Dáil this afternoon of a green party td saying Fuck you twice at Emmet Stag?

  11. Holemaster says:

    That’s an amazing vid Twenty. The Chinese are great are being pixels.

    What do you call a million Chinese in a Croke Park?

    HD!

  12. Ten Park Drive says:

    It was me Twenty. I was storking you.

  13. Holemaster says:

    What’s storking?

  14. Christy says:

    One leg, Holemaster

  15. Holemaster says:

    Ah. Good one.

    Right, I’m off to get a bit locked on an empty stomach only to regret it the morning.

  16. Twenty Major says:

    Laughing at the Gogarty thing, that’s brilliant.

  17. maggot says:

    Democracy in the Dail is healthier than previously thought then.

  18. maggot says:

    So, my ROI Chums, what is the juicy gossip that is too hot for the UK?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8408760.stm

  19. VoiceOfTreason says:

    Maggot, apparently he liked to be taken aggressively from behind with a huge strap-on dildo.

    Par for the course in Florida allegedly.

  20. Jo says:

    It’s like Treasure Island, and Pew. Beware the black spot.

    Tap Tap Tap.

    Ar, Twenty, lad.

  21. Twenty Major says:

    Yes, he’s a dangerous man. I know it.

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