Movin’ on

“I’ve never gotten over her, Twenty”, said a maudlin Dirty Dave sipping his pint.

“Who?”

“You know, her. HER”.

“Oh. It’s been a long time now, Dave. You really should just move on”.

“I know I should but I cant. I simply can’t”.

“Until you do you’re never going to be happy. So much time has passed, so much water under the bridge. You’re not doing yourself any favours here”.

“I saw her the other day”.

“You did?”

“Yes”.

“Oh for fuck’s sake. I thought we agreed the last time, you’d stop that”.

“I know”.

“So?”

“I just couldn’t help it”.

“You’re a weakling”.

“I know”.

“You’re living in the past”.

“I know”.

“Quit living in the past”.

“I know”.

“What?”

“I mean, I will”.

“You’d better because I’m sick of this now”.

“Aw, come on-”

“No, Dave. I’ve fucking had it”.

“You’re supposed to be my friend. A shoulder to cry on and all that”.

“Yeah, but this has been going on too long. And when we think you’re over it you go and drag it all up again. I’m tired of it, Jimmy’s tired of it, Lucky’s tired of it, Splodge is tired of it, Ron wants to have you fed to a bear …”

“Ron always wants to have me fed to a bear”.

“Look, even Stinking Pete is tired of it and he’s a giddy cunt who can watch the same film five times in one night. He has the attention span of a retarded bison and even he’s up to his tits with it”.

“Right, well if that’s how you all feel”.

“It is. How many times do we have to tell you? Well?”

“I just want to-.”

“Sherilyn Fenn is now a middle-aged lady living somewhere in America. Audrey Horne was a character she played. It is never going to happen”.

“But I … I love her”.

“Shut up, Dave”.

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53 Responses to Movin’ on

  1. SuperGrover says:

    Oh. Her from Twin Peaks.

    Dave’s got taste, at least.

  2. Don’t let him see Boxing Helena.
    Might give him ideas.

  3. blondini says:

    fenndetailss.jpg

    Mmmm!

  4. Fill3rup says:

    Many a duvet was destroyed beyond repair because of her…

  5. morgor says:

    i had to look her up. Mmmm nice.

  6. So why doesn’t he find himself a nice Irish girl….like….like…

    ….Lara Flynn Boyle?

    1434_LARA.jpg

  7. Fill3rup says:

    Shes so skinny you could use as a toothpick..

    Sherylin Fenn is a real woman

  8. Aw come on Fill. Skinny?
    You could park your bicycle in that cleavage.

  9. maggot says:

    the tone is slipping.

    Introduce Dave to Jodie Foster Twenty.

  10. Fill3rup says:

    eh,they had to sew her up into that top to push her tits up so she looked like she had some,i remeber reading that at the time that movie was out.. I have bigger tits than she does…

  11. peadar says:

    and ginger hair. You’re obviously a fine looking man Fill

  12. Fill3rup says:

    I’m a ride Peadar…

  13. maggot says:

    For Sale

    Viscounts, £11 a packet, P&P £4.00

  14. Holemaster says:

    “I saw her the other day”

    That made me think of my old car.

  15. Ianoo says:

    Pub conversation last night. Who is the best looking woman in the world and in Ireland.
    We went for – Sharron Ni Volan wan on the news
    and – Megan Fox..

  16. JJCelery says:

    I just need to loose a half a stone and I’ll be as goregeous as she was.

    Diet from Monday, this is it.

  17. JJCelery says:

    But at least I don’t have to pretend I have cleavage. You could park a lamborgini.

  18. Holemaster says:

    “Sharron Ni Volan”

    Did you mean: Sharon Ní Bheoláin

  19. inane says:

    About 10 years ago Sharon was my Irish teacher. Jesus it was fucking brilliant!

  20. Ibanez says:

    where am I parking this lamborghini?

  21. Holemaster says:

    I like a woman with a bit of meat on her.

  22. peckerhead says:

    A bit of *my* meat, preferably.

  23. Holemaster says:

    Oh did I type ‘in’? Sorry.

  24. Holemaster says:

    ‘on’ ah bollocks

  25. Holemaster says:

    Why would Tiger Woods need to cheat when this is his wife?

    ElinNordegren.jpg

  26. I suppose she’s alright…

  27. Thriftcriminal says:

    Two moon junction, shit film but much SF nudity.

    And Audry could eat a cherry. Grrrrrr.

  28. Crank says:

    Tiger Woods wife: very shiny. He must give her a dose of the Pledge of a morning.

  29. JJCelery says:

    Lamborgini can be parked on the two E’s I carry on my front.

    With all that meat talk I think I will become a vegetarian.

  30. Holemaster says:

    Do you like a good marrow JJ?

  31. maggot says:

    Pics please JJ

  32. maggot says:

    Just been out for a smoke, wonderful Orange moon, it’s a sign.

  33. …that it is night.

  34. maggot says:

    Lara Flynn Boyle looks a bit like Jacko Lung

  35. Mosheen says:

    No chance of a Viscount discount maggot?

  36. maggot says:

    Do you shag Mosheen ?

  37. Mosheen says:

    Biccies first

  38. maggot says:

    I’m not that stupid!

  39. Git says:

    Try him again Mosheen. He is.

  40. maggot says:

    no shaggee no biccie!

  41. maggot says:

    maudlin, classy word

  42. itchybollix says:

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/2nocnk.jpg[/IMG]

  43. itchybollix says:

    Ah bollix.

  44. vijay says:

    I am interested in adding your blog

    http://twentymajor.net/ in my space station shuttle blog

    http://spacestation-shuttle.blogspot.com/

    which might help the young people in knowing about your classical blog Congress and religions.

    Please could you add my blog in your great blog.

  45. maggot says:

    Horrible pic Itchy.

  46. maggot says:

    Stockpiling the real thing, will have to rent storage space as the garage is to the rafters with Viscounts, which are available, as you know, at a very reasonable price to readers of this blog.

    Viscounts, £11 a packet, P&P £4.00

    Still waiting for JJ pictures!

  47. Size Ten says:

    Twenty was spotted near Knock airport at the weekend, he was having a drink with two Knackers and a Bishop, he has some kind of golden glow around his head?

  48. JJCelery says:

    Maggot, they are not distributed to random people on the web :) but I’ll let you stare if I ever meet you.

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