It was always a difficult choice. It could always go either way depending on one’s mood, the time of the year, what you might be having for dinner and, indeed, the time since you’d last had to make that choice.
Yet in the end you made it and it was good. There was never any doubt as to the quality, it was merely a matter of taste. Then one day you realised you hadn’t made that choice in a long, long time and you thought that you would have to put it right next time you had the chance. And the chance came and you looked for them and went back and forth and forth and back and your heart sank.
The choice was longer there. It couldn’t be true. You looked again, top to bottom, bottom to top. Gone. Crestfallen you make do with something else. And then you have a multitude of choice but you’re not in the mood for choosing so you just go with an old reliable.
And you get home and you make coffee and glumly you unwrap a Club Milk when all you wanted was a mint Viscount. Or the orange Viscount.
You never got the chance to make up your mind.
Why would anyone EVER choose a Club Milk? The chocolate is nasty and always breaks away from the biscuit. Viscounts dissolve to a sweet mush when you dunk them. Purple Snack is the only option when it comes to choccie biccies. The two-fingered Kit-Kat is a good second choice too. Mmm, melty :)
The challenge though is getting all the chocolate off the outside of the club milk without breaking the biscuit. One side is always really easy, the other quite difficult.
Once you’ve done that you can seperate the biscuit pieces and get the the sweet mushy goodness of the centre.
But yeah, Viscount does trump that simply for its minty flavour.
I was always a Viscount man while my schoolfriend was very much from the Jaffa school of thought.
I once tried to explain to him that the difference between a Jaffa cake and an orange Viscount was like the difference between a blow-up doll and a real woman.
It didn’t convince him. Possibly because we were 11-years old at the time.
Is Viscount no more?
I saw Viscounts in the shop just this week.
Plus you can always count on ebay.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/BURTONS-VISCOUNT-MINT-CHOCOLATE-BISCUITS-UK%2FBRITISH_W0QQitemZ250534069193QQcmdZViewItemQQimsxq20091121?IMSfp=TL091121175002r23311
They did not have them in the very large biscuit section in Superquinn in Sundrive
The mint ones are lovely, I’ve never tasted the orange ones but they could not possibly be nicer than jaffa cakes. Impossible!
Viscount are shite. Also, they’ve been advertising “100% EXTRA FREE” for the last ten years or so. Surely after that length of time it’s just a fact that the pack contains 14, not 7.
And, Glenda, I’m totally with you on the purple snack. It rocks. Club Milks are just cheap and nasty in comparison.
Can you still get 5 4 3 2 1s?
They were excellent.
United! United!
They drink it in the Cunited!
Despite the name, I loved Uniteds.
When red and white ones came out there was a strange feeling of alliance to the original blue and white.
It’s because Viscounts sound like a cigarette brand, isn’t it? “Could I have twenty Viscount and a box of Swan Vestas, please?”
Mint Viscounts must be the menthol variety, for occasional mentholists.
Some believe that Menthol smokes are better for the environment….
enviromentholists
I liked the Clubs that were like fruit and nut chocolate – can’t remember what they were called. Haven’t seen them for years. And toffee Yoyos.
But Jaffa Cakes are the absolute best
Anyone remember the Telex?
They were nice. Or 5-4-3-2-1s.
Viscounts are a personal favourite but haven’t seen the orange ones in ages.
And thank goodness you listened to Vijay, Twenty
Thats the real test. Come on Vijay … Viscount or Jaffa?
You can do it, baby. You can do it.
what sick depraved mind would ever chose a sneeze inducing nasty in a foil wrapping viscount over a club milk. fucking weirdo.
He’ll be disappointed at the lack of biscuit pictures though, you may have lost him
I remember Telex Radge. It was called a bar of chocolate ‘Internet’.
Best Jaffa Cakes are Delijce or something from Lidl/Aldi.
Jesus, sorry for that complete nonsense of a comment. Meant to say that a name like Telex was like calling it Internet.
jaffa jaffa jaffa jaffa jaffa JAFFA!
http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/previous.php3?item=159
I like Jaffa cakes when I have one but I rarely buy them.
I don’t think they’re good enough to risk being caught shoplifting
Ah orange viscount.Make mental note to buy some on way home!
kit kats and Twix. Real biscuits.
I have told my Dunking Good Hue joke haven’t I?
Yes but was the hue orange?
What do you call a colour with 5 axles?
Hue Lorry
What do you call an articulated truck with nothing on it?
A Jugger Nought.
Mini Driver’s Dad was called Laurie and his brother was Van.
Minnie Driver’s real name is Hilda Vauxhall
Known as Hilda Opel outside the UK.
I’m with rapey.Viscounts are for perverts.
But seen as I’ve stumbled on a den of retro choccy bar freaks,does anyone remember the Brinkey?
It was cheap(probably yellowpack) and wafer-ey,but sweet fancy moses,i’d step over my own mother to get one now.
We’re all perv’s apparently.Not that there;’s anything wrong with it.
BBQ food and porn, its what we have in common.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/6709646/All-men-watch-porn-scientists-find.html
I wonder how much money they spent finding that out. I’ll bet the figure for women isn’t much less. Loads of girls like a bit of porn now and then.
Why would women watch porn?
They don’t have wiggies to play with.
Oh they make do.
That sort of spoils porn for me HM
Why did the baker have brown hands?
He kneaded a poo.
That’s the joke for my Best Man’s speech sorted then.
Jaffa cakes …are just that cakes not fucking biscuits…
Id eye any jaffa cake fancier with complete suspicion
Sweet jesus what I wouldnt give for a packet of viscount right now …cant get them here in the third world
Would anyone rob a packet from the st vincent de paul food box and sent it to me …for christmas like
Viscount biscuit from Supermarket = Yum yum
Viscount biscuit from Discount store = Yeuch !
I wonder why.
There he is. Living in a big apartment somewhere in the East like a plump dissolute Turkish Pasha. And all he wants is a packet of Viscount.
It just goes to show, really. Its just not possible to have it all.
Just to let ye know.Mcsavage is going to be on Tom Dunnes show this morning.
If ye feel like bombarding then with emails containing the word cunt,that is..
Telex bars were my biscuit of choice going to school,two of them in with the sandwiched..
TWO! Rich cunt.
Fill
Anyways of getting that on the internet
I heard a rumour and stockpiled Viscounts. My Garage is stacked to the rafters with the fuckers, and I hate them. But I’ll make a fortune on e bay with them.
newstalk.ie
they may have it in the archive..not sure though
remeber that old ad for some chocolate biscuit with fruits and nuts added? Went something like :
What has a hazlenut in every bite?…etc” to whcih I always answered ‘Squirell-shit” ‘cos they were indeed most foul….
BTW Twenty – I have just penciled in ordering tee shirts made up with ‘Suffer the little children should NOT be an aspiration. How would I go about being able to get that ‘defection’ thingy you were on about a few posts ago also on the tee shirt without being sued by the humble ‘swear an oath of poverty’ dog-collared bastards?
Topic, Gluey.