How the catholic church in Ireland operates
Posted on | December 2, 2009 | 50 Comments
Scenario 1
“Archbishop, we’ve got a situation here”.
“What is it?”
“It’s Father O’Fiddly”.
“Good sweet jumping Christ on a bike, what now?”
“Some complaints about him, he’s been raping the shit out of kids”.
“Oh for fuck’s sake. Not again. I thought we had words with him the last three times”.
“We did but he’s up to his old tricks. Befriending families, getting them onside, then sexually abusing their children”.
“Right, tell him to pack his bags. I’m moving him to another parish. AGAIN! LOL!!”.
“ROFL! And what should we tell the parents?”
“Tell them nothing happened and that the Father is going to away to ensure nothing happens to lots of other children”.
“Splendid. Now kiss my ring”.
.
Scenario 2
“Archbishop, we’ve got a situation here”.
“What is it?”
“It’s Father O’Tax-Fiddly”.
“What is it?”
“He owed the revenue a load of money and called them bastards and cunts in a rag of a tabloid newspaper”
“What?! WHAT?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE”.
“I know your gracefulness but it’s hardly as if he’s been-”
“I take a most serious view of this matter”.
“I know you do”.
“This is disgraceful. You will call up the father and tell him that he will make a full and unreserved apology to the sweet, innocent revenue commissioners”.
“At once”.
“Think of the hurt they must have endured. The pain. The agony. The trauma. A priest called them bastards and cunts. Nobody deserves that”.
“No they don’t”.
“We are men of God and we will not tolerate foul language being used at simple men just doing their job. This priest has brought shame to us all who are missionaries of Christ”.
“Yes he has. He is very bold indeed. I shall telephone him at once and demand he calls into your palace as soon as possible”.
“Splendid, now kiss my ring”.
“Which ring?”
“I’ll close my eyes and let you decide”.
“Oh, Amazing, your grace”.
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50 Responses to “How the catholic church in Ireland operates”
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December 2nd, 2009 @ 7:45 pm
That tax-dodging priest got caught with his pants down….eh…
I mean they had him by the short and curli….
Damn. Never mind.
December 2nd, 2009 @ 7:50 pm
Well the cunts have there temporal priorities sorted.
Just remember its a corporation and money is what corporations do.
December 2nd, 2009 @ 8:25 pm
That’s bang on the money.
December 2nd, 2009 @ 8:46 pm
Drring drring!
Hello, Father Fingr’till O’Tax-Fiddly speakin’.
Hi. This is Father Fingr’ass Fiddly. I just heard the news, me old matey. Jaysus (bless his holy name), Fingr’till, I’m shocked. What were you thinkin’ man? Rogering the Revenue? Fuck (pardon me French)!
Yeah, I know. Feel a bit ashamed of meself, I must admit. Lettin’ the side down an’ all.
I hear the oul archbish laid into you. Can’t say I’m surprised. Might even hand you over to the wolves, I hear.
Sigh! Yea, black days to be got through – might even be curtains on the ould career. Anyways, appreciate the call. Hows yourself? Bearing up under the Dublin report crap?
Oh that? Water off a ducks, me old. No sweat – full support from the top down – it’ll soon blow over. I’m off on a sabbatical to take over a Donegal scout troop until the fuss dies down. The bishop thinks the youth of this country is in a terrible state of calamity. Sex and drugs. No morals. No respect for the clergy. Wants me to give the little tykes a bit of moral leadership – up the … I mean, on to, the straight and narrow.
Ah, right he is on that. You’re the right man too, Fingr’ass. Any chance I could get in on the gig?
Ah now, I know we’re friends an all, Fingr’till, but that’s a lot to ask after what you did.
I know me old. Just arskin’. Anyway, happy buggerin’ up the passes in Dun na nGall.
Thanks. Now try to keep out of trouble for feck sake. For the good of the church anyway.
I know. Bye, y’lucky ole bugger…
Click!
December 2nd, 2009 @ 10:50 pm
Cunts
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/1202/breaking81.htm
December 2nd, 2009 @ 10:58 pm
It’s alright Maggot, I’m sure he doesn’t mean you.
December 2nd, 2009 @ 11:15 pm
And there’s no such thing as heaven anyway.
Apart from this one – http://www.heavennightclub-london.com/
December 2nd, 2009 @ 11:17 pm
This may have already been posted but you can leave the catholic church officially.
http://www.countmeout.ie/
I’ve been giving it some thought lately but haven’t had the courage to go through with it ‘cos I’m wondering what’ll happen years down the line if I have a kid and want to send him/her to the local school. Could they refuse admission.
Either way the CountMeOut site is a very interesting read.
December 2nd, 2009 @ 11:49 pm
Oh Twenty I just love you :)
December 3rd, 2009 @ 12:02 am
Check out the following link – read it and weep – Last line in the article says a lot.
http://www.snapnetwork.org/priest_stories/glimpse_mind_pedophile.htm
You can also check him out in the Documentary Movie “Deliver us from EVIL”
Also, When this priest got kicked out of the states he was living, unsupervised, in Dublin at the churchs expense. He is now a wanted fugitive in the States. The church claim they dont know where he is, they obviously don’t want him going back to the states as it’ll cost them a small fortune – Better that he live unsupervised.
THIS GUY IS STILL ON THE LOOSE, STILL BEING HIDDEN BY THE CHURCH
December 3rd, 2009 @ 12:14 am
when I see the word “defection” on that countmeout website all I can think of is the word “defacation”. Mainly because all those damn priests who were non-stick for a few years as regards the shit stickin’ to ‘em, looks like they (may) get their just desserts…ie, their balls chopped off.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 1:18 am
Poor old Eamonn Casey, he got the same doing as this tax dodger, Riding women and tax dodging are natural desires / occurances, aspirations even.
Christ himself drove the Tax collectors from the Synagogue & Saul a tax collector was converted on the road to Damascus, becoming St Paul.
This priest is correct they are bastards and cunts.
So are Fianna Fail & the Greens and Labour who are all sitting back and allowing shit like this happen, why isn’t someone from the Department of Education or Children speaking out against Bishop Murray?? and the fact that he is responsible for the education and well being of thousands of primary school children in his diocese.
At least Kenny at long last grew or found the balls to act in a manner that shows he may be capable of the leadership this country so badly needs.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 4:20 am
Best put by Patsy McGarry in the IT
‘Cowen shows he is ‘second an Irishman, first a Catholic’
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2009/1203/1224259997261.html
December 3rd, 2009 @ 9:09 am
HOW MANY OF YOU WILL SHOW UP AT CHURCH ON SUNDAY?
December 3rd, 2009 @ 9:12 am
Ta for that link Toronto- thats interesting. Because I have argued long and hard in various debates on other forums that someone in public service in the Irish Republic should owe their loyalty only to the state.
Anything else is technically and in fact ‘treason’.
Much of the corruption between church and state in Ireland has been because catholic civil servants have been operating as agents of the Vatican and applying Canon Law (Crimen Solicitationis) rather than civil law.
P Benny will not order that catholics should obey civil law where they live, as the great unspoken shibboleth of catholicism is that it acts as a temporal power- a corporation and does not recognise law which hinders its own internal regulations.
Its as if Coca-Cola Ireland suddenly announced that their employees were bound not by civil law but by the company’s regulations only.
The catholic church is one fucked up and deviant corporation and its serfs must be removed from Irish public policy debates.
Catholics have a right to vote- and thats all they should have.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 9:13 am
Well haven’t done that in about 25 years, but I know many who will. Even my own elderly parents have given up on that sort of thing.
Good article by Patsy McGarry. Cowen is even more unfit to be Taoiseach than he already was. He’s putting the welfare of a foreign state before his own. Gombeen.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 9:16 am
Perhaps the British are right in keeping them away from any grasp at the throne.
Surely though there are grounds to ban Catholics from elected office in that belief in things such as transubstantiation infers a basic lack of intelligence.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 9:47 am
WE REALLY WERE CONNED, BRAINWASHED AND TAKEN….UNBELIEVABLE REALLY THAT THEY GOT AWAY WITH IT FOR SO LONG. EVEN MORE UNBELIEVABLE THAT THEY WILL SURVIVE THIS. MAKE NO MISTAKE – IF ANYTHING WAS TO END IT, THE FR SEAN FORTUNE CASE IN FERNS SHOULD HAVE SEEN TO IT-THE DOF COLLARED BASTARDS SHOULD HAVE BEEN JAILED,DEPORTED AND IMPOVERISHED…BUT NOPE, THE FEAR OF HELL WILL BIND TOO MANY AND THE BLACKMAIL – SOURCED FROM THE CONFESSIONALS – WILL CONTINUE….
WE WERE FOOLS INDEED….
December 3rd, 2009 @ 10:16 am
We were had Gluey. But what do we do now? We have to act.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 10:35 am
Larry- spot on. I assumed like millions of others that the ban on catholics marrying the heir in the UK was based on prejudice. It fucking isn’t. Its good common sense.
If the Queen is head of state then the state cannot take the risk of her falling under the influence of a foreign power which is most definitely what the catholic church/Vatican is.
It wasn’t prejudice at all. It was a smart move. The French have separated church and state. The Spanish are in the middle of doing so. Macedonia has banned religious symbols in schools.
Time for Ireland to wake the fuck up.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 10:45 am
The best option for action right now HM is the 50th International Eucharistic Congress which is set to take place in Dublin in 2012.
The idea would either be to get it cancelled as maggot suggests or to use it as a platform to protest the actions of the church in abuse cases and to demand that Ireland become a truly civil society. I almost prefer the second option. Publicly shame the fuckers.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 10:58 am
Ta for the news re the EuTragics Congress- didn’t know that. Seems like a good event to disrupt on a number of fronts.
Going to need hackers, demonstrators, agitators, muggers, buggerers, thugs …
December 3rd, 2009 @ 10:58 am
HOW MANY OF YOU WILL SHOW UP AT CHURCH ON SUNDAY?
I don’t know anyone my age (early 30s) who goes to mass. Religion as it was is fucked anyway, regardless of this. Or maybe it’s because of this.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:04 am
I don’t know anyone my age (early 30s) who goes to mass.
Me neither (late twenties).
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:17 am
Me neither. I’m eleven.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:24 am
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December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:30 am
Stirring praise there from Vijay.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:37 am
Good man Vijay. I second whatever he says.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:37 am
Indeed..
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:38 am
Vijay has convinced me. I’ll keep doing more.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:41 am
Going to need hackers, demonstrators, agitators, muggers, buggerers, thugs …
I recommend clowns.
Thae a leaf out of the book of The Cacophony Society.
Demonstrators or even thugs dressed as clowns disrupting whatever events they can.
Why wait till 2012? How about doing it next Sunday?
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:45 am
Thats the kind of positivity we need around these parts..
Praising peoples efforst and accomplishments instead of begrudgery towards anyone getting ahead..
It would make a big difference to the cuntry.
..anyway..back to reality..
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:55 am
Holemaster Says:
December 3rd, 2009 at 10:16 am
We were had Gluey. But what do we do now? We have to act
Simple really – stop going to mass, stop showing support for an archaic and corrupt organisation, and stop putting money in the church coffers.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 12:12 pm
Twenty, I don’t think there’s sufficient wriggle-room for ‘mental reservation’ in your first scenario. I think they do it like this…
Fr Buckpastor PP – You know Fr Abusey?
Rev. Monsignoevil – Yes?
Fr Buckpastor PP – Well.
Rev. Monsignoevil – Ah.
…..two months pass…..
Rev. Monsignoevil – Oh Jim, as I’m on to you, I was talking with Fr Buckpastor a while back. He mentioned Fr Abusey.
Most Revd. Jim AuxBishoprick – Leave it with me.
…..more months pass…..
Most Revd. Jim AuxBishoprick – Hello Fr Abusey, Jim AuxBishoprick here, we’re transferring you to a Chaplaincy.
Fr Abusey – Certainly, Your Gracefulness. Where am I to minister?
Most Revd. Jim AuxBishoprick – At the Capitation Sisters’ orphanage.
Fr Abusey – As you wish, Your Gracefulness.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 12:19 pm
The business of split allegiance between state and faith has long been problematic. It dogged Kennedy in the USA in the run up to his election as US President.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 12:31 pm
Yup- which shows that the French, British and US governments have all been aware for a long time that catholics present a danger at the highest level in terms of loyalty.
I’d like to see Irish Civil Servants asked to sign a piece of paper outlining what is expected of them in terms of loyalty to the state. If they can’t sign it for religious reasons they are not fit to serve as officers of the Irish state.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 12:32 pm
Letter in the IT from Vincent Twomey, Professor Emeritus of Moral Theology, Maynooth. A good man who has written “The End of Irish Catholicism? (Dublin, 2003)”, well worth a read.
” To begin with, all bishops mentioned in the report should resign immediately from their current pastoral positions.”
December 3rd, 2009 @ 12:49 pm
The fact that Dail sessions start with a prayer is particularly hypocritical, as if it gives some heavenly dispensation to the lies and general arse-fucking of your average day in Leinster House.
It is particularly insulting at the moment to all the victims of abuse. More fitting would be a rectal insertion of the Angelus bells.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 1:22 pm
I hear that they rolled out Mary O’Rourke in the Dail to appease the poor faithful. No mention of prosecuting the offenders, just some obvious criticism of the Church. Fianna Fail always bring her out in a crisis to act a bit mad and entertain us.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 2:45 pm
Your’re all individuals…erm no I’m not…sshh
December 3rd, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
Sounds scarily plausible, Conan.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 6:39 pm
Doublespeak, Sisters of Mercy my arse
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/1203/breaking62.htm
December 3rd, 2009 @ 8:15 pm
I’m seriously upset tonight. Just had a conversation with 2 friends of mine, male mid 30 urban professionals who think all this is in the past. “It’s your own faith that matters, there are good people in the church”. Good apples in a rotten barrel I replied but there was no convincing them. Despair is a word I’ve never used before about Ireland but now I don’t know anymore, We really are fucked as a nation if this generation can’t see what’s wrong. It’s too depressing for flipancy.
Maybe we could get oneinfour to do a church gate collection every Sunday until action is taken because I do believe that the only way to hurt the church is financially. There has to be someway of punishing these scumsucking evil hypocritical parasites….oh I don’t know anymore.
December 3rd, 2009 @ 11:58 pm
The thing to do – it’s easy, practical and will work – is to boycott, literally boycott,the dog-collared scums and their ‘sisters in faith’.
I would also be most interested in getting togther with like-minded individuals and using another potent Irish tactic against the oppressor….what if everyone just sat outside the doors of the churchs and refused to speak, move or in any way give the bastards and their State-ensconced cronies an excuse to ‘spin’ the process….
As you know, the one thing an Irish person fears more than ANYTHING is -
PUBLIC EMBARRASSMENT AND HUMILIATION…no way will the ould biddies last the cousre, I’d say three sundays and most of them will stay home…
Oh – and one in four will be getting a very respectable donation from me and my corporate finance dept this month…and form now on NOBODY i bed with the dog-collared bastards will get a cent in donations for any cuase whatsoever.
Anyone got an Idea for a T-Shirt slogan? Wear those in public and watch the government panic this summer s the tourists start avoiding us…
December 4th, 2009 @ 9:07 am
‘Suffer The Little Children Should Not Be An Aspiration’.
December 4th, 2009 @ 1:11 pm
One wonders where and by what means the “Sisters of Mercy” amassed the not inconsiderable sum of 127 million Euro – this is definitely NOT from the collection plates handed round to innumerable Mrs Doyles
December 4th, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
What about asking those people who still go to mass to put a receipt from the ISPCC or 1in4 into the envelope instead of cash.
As for the t-shirt campaign, well in twenty’s own words “Cunts”.
December 5th, 2009 @ 1:10 am
‘Suffer the little children’ should not be an aspiration…
I love it Captain Con – and I am going to have some tee shirts made which I will wear and distribute on an upcoming trip to the emerald bile this january.
Thank you sincerely Captain – at least now I don’t feel like all my efforts to strike at the dog-collared bastards will be in the shadows by neccesity.
December 5th, 2009 @ 8:50 pm
Again Spot on the money, you left out references to ‘canon law’ and ‘sin’.
Listening to Cardinal Bradys interview on RTE today, The abuse was against the law, canon law and a sin. A sin!
The Law is all that matters, this crowd have been so concerned with Canon Law they’ve missed morality.
Time to ban canon law. If the Swiss can have a referendum on Minarets, we should have one on outlawing canon law.
December 7th, 2009 @ 12:03 am
Lafsword Says: December 3rd, 2009 at 1:18 am
‘Poor old Eamonn Casey, he got the same doing as this tax dodger, Riding women and tax dodging are natural desires / occurances, aspirations even.’
Come off it, Lafsword – ou’re joking aren’t you !!! Are you are so innocent as to believe that? Do you still believe in Father Christmas?
What about that money? And have you read the mentions of him in the Ferns Report?
Casey was a bishop for twenty-odd years, and a very powerful one on account of his big mouth.
When the Irish Times got hold of a story in 1992 he fled the country at once. The Church took control of the issue.
The whole country was very deferential to the Church then. The Irish Times would only print what it could prove, and there was no follow-up.