Before the undoubted trauma that is the Dublin diocesan report, time to revisit and old favourite. Change 1 letter, and only 1 letter, in a pop-star’s/band’s name to make a different one.
For example:
The Polite – Don’t stand so close to me, if it’s no trouble.
Stink – Lead singer with The Polite has BO issues
Debbie Gibbon – Hairy arsed, swings from trees, 80s teen sensation
An Emotional Fist – much more dangerous than a fish
David Mowie – he just loves to cut grass
Ojos de Bruno – Frank didn’t need his eyes no more
Musty Springfield – classic chanteuse is quite insistent
Jobbie Williams – he’s a poo
Westlice – Louis Walsh’s men have nits
Badly drawn Bob – a crude sketch of Dylan wears funny hats
Cheryl Mole – Ashley’s missus lives underground
Earth, wand and fire – Magic 70s disco
Alison Monet – Former Yazoo singer is a mean painter too
–
Possibilities endless … I’m in a rush. Have at it.
Tortishead – Shit Trip Hop band
Nice one Fill…
Tom Baits – gruff LA singer gone fishin’
Mary O Blige – ah go on Mary, please…
Feyonce – appears to have some other worldly powers
Bob Dysan – Revolutionary cocaine sniffer
Sink – When you get the party started she’ll be in the kitchen
The Fail – They’ll never have a hit record
Ol’ Darty Bastard – Pub Singer
Fake That – Orgasmic experts
Mariah Cares – She does you know..
The Winks – Double Endendre laden band
Oreo Speedwagon – More than a filling
Bob Harley – Reggae singer on a stupid-looking motorbike
Slim Shitman – Mediocre country ‘n’ western singer
Bobo – Clown
Ask – Norn Iron band with all the answers
Twenty Mayor, groupie with political aspirations who wasted his talents on drink, drugs and bud company ?
The Arcane Fire – much more mysterious than their counterparts
Gleet Foxes – folksy Americana with a nasty penile discharge
Tron and Wine – futuristic acoustic warbling
I’m not a pop star … faggot!
R2 – half of the original space-gangster R2-D2
IB40 – Middle life crisis, mang.
Beg Harper – He’s down ‘n’ out
DC / DC – Not quite as good as the original
Black Pox Recorder – Like the “Black Death” only you get it on your mickey
Poo Fighters – It’s kicking off in the jacks.
Smashing Bumpkins – Louisiana Rock
But Bud Company were !
Too subtle for you Twenty Lou!
Friendly Files – Helpful Paperwork
Aslab – Alchoholic one song merchants
Bizzie Racal – Rapping Liverpudlian Policeman
Pubic Enemy – Seually transmitted Hip Hop Group
sexually transmitted i meant…d’oh
Prance – Light footed camp pop star.
Amuse – funny goths
Linkin Bark – Canine impressionists
Green Bay – Like the packers
Boldplay – Twenty’s real favorite
Body Cunt – [Actually that's a better name than the original]
Bloc Farty – Smell rock
Public Enema – the HSE has gone too far with this one
Boldie – Naughty Drum ‘n’ Bass
Glade – Merry Christmas everybody, ooh, that’s a nice smell
Punk Floyd – Anarchy with a good light show
Pet Shop Goys – southside purveyors of domestic animals
Fight Said Fred – Two bald gym queers fight it out over who’s sexier.
celine zion – the MOR artist of choice of the orthodox jewish community
The Paw Doctors – Veterinary chiropodist musicians who sing about major National roads.
Pox Will Eat Itself – No need for that embarrassing trip to the clinic then
Deaf Kennedys – Hearing Impaired Punk
Sex Pistons – Combustion Based Punk
Buck – A younger Beck
Blank Sabbath – They don’t do Sundays
Iggy Pup – He wants to be your dog when he gets a bit older
The Stone Poses – Cant sing,cant play ,look good!
The Polling Stones – Electioneering Dad Rock
Soft Yell – The sound you make when you’re getting 7 gallons of horse spunk pumped out of your belly
The White Strides – A cool New York who only wear white pants.
Beacon Blue – A band of Scottish sirens.
The Dangles – Wipe your arse properly or walk like an Egyptian
Damien Nice – cos he’s really not all that bad Twenty, give the lad a break!
The Carpesters – They’ll wash your windscreen whether it needs it or not
Bedward – X-Factor twins who just stay in their leabas all day!
Stiff little gingers – uptight redheads!
Daft Puns – Electro puns.
RAM – American rock band with a good memory.
The Fillers – Any oul’ shite, just to make an album’s worth of songs
Quinns of the Stone Age – Insurance brokers turned rock stars
Nine Inch Tails – Rock band full of interesting animal statistics
Tank Tank – Army life’s what you make it
PAL – John Lydon wants to be your friend.
Hat Boy Slim – Brighton based chav with an unfortunate addiction to stupid hats.
The Cunt – Ian Astbury learns how to spell.
Talking Heaps – They never shut up
Rash – Sexually transmitted Canadian trio
Queer – ‘Nuff said
Bloodie – Debbie’s on the rag
The Slash – Punks on the piss
Pearl Jim – dirty necklace fetishist.
The Flash – London streakers with musical attitude
Queers of the Stone Age – that lion-cloth is FABULOUS!
Death Lab For Cutie – much more sinister.
The Shrills – because, let’s face it, they’re not exactly thrilling
Their floors were very clean too.
heh, i’d listen to Pearl Jim.
Thin Tizzy – Skinny band in a constant state of confusion.
Few York Dolls – Some but not all of the original line up.
Bruce Sprungsteen – Now mainly a spent force.
Sadness – Suggs is devestated after losing his Birds Eye contract.
Peter Crampton – Cramps from too much wankin
ELP – Jeff Lynne goes prog rock.
ELO – Greg Lake replaces Jeff Lynne..no hang on…this isn’t working..
Maralyn Hanson – the long-awaited supergroup.
The Fat Pack – the years have not been kind.
Segadeath – anger caused by too much Sonic The Hedgehog.
Bandy Newman – Short people take their revenge.
Frank Zapper – First musician to use an electric guitar
Johnny Hash – stoner.
Bed Zeppelin – Band that slept with a lot of its groupies
The Why – I don’t know, ask Pete fuckin’ Townsend
Rid Stewart – please!
Destiny’s Chile – Santiago, here we come.
Donnie Drew – And they called it Puppy Love me aul shagosha
The Publiners – self explanatory
Celine Dior – Dresses well, still a cunt
Shawaddypaddy – Irish teddy boys
Hate Bush – foolish, drunken whore.
Gary Gritter – That ‘strange bloke’ that works for the council that the kids steer clear of.
Tiny Turner – What’s height got to do with it?
James Crown – had lovely looking teeth.
Preen – Ohh we all look rathar nice
Oaris – 2 brothers always rowing..
Shite Stripes – They’re pants.
Sadness – Our house, in the middle of our ghost estate.
The Spacials – Rude Boys Outta Space.
Pew Order – True Faith is a well-organised church.
Gary Human – Friends are not electric.
New York Rolls – Punk-style deli.
Talking Beads – Joe Coleman predicts rosary beads to play new wave sounds from heaven.
Lazy Ga Ga – Get up out of bed, you freak.
Brothers of Invention – Noisy band always making things
Elvis Paesly – “There’ll be no burgery in Belfast”
Crowded Mouse – he just can’t stand to be in confined spaces
Martin Gaye – Marvin’s much less groovy brother
Depeche Code – What the fuck are their songs about?
Swing Out Mister – The lesser known male band.
Swing Our Sister – Musical group who pimp out their siblings.
Johhny Hates Jizz – Bunch of virgins.
Abbs- Swedish supergroup with great stomachs
erusure- Kerry based self doubting synth poppers
Hay Z- rapper with bad memory
pot shop boys- have a successful hash selling operation on the side
elves (Presley)- tiny pointy eared music god
the thieftains- light fingered Irish trad band
the red hat chilli peppers- Russian funk rockers
D2- irish supergroup from merrion square
Living in a Fox – the difficult is where on earth do you get a cardboard fox?
Ewing Our Sister – Band who get audience members to dress them up like Bobby.
Def Leopard – nearly there boys.
Silly Joel – You didn’t start the fire on purpose but how many times have you been told not to play with matches?
The Teatles – Breast band ever
Leven 42 – Flat Funk-Pop combo
D2 – Grafton St based Stadium rock
Radiodead – Zombie Art-Rock
Fool and the Gang – Jester fronted Funk
WC and the Sunshine Band – Portaloo Disco Shite
FU – Up yours, Bono!
Ian Jury and the Blockheads – Courthouse Rock
RadioLead – You can now record their stuff off the radio without having everyone in the house shut-the-fuck-up!
Bad Tanners – Band formed from former substandard leather goods outfit.
or Radiolead – Heavy act from Oxford
Ludwig van Beethaven, a brilliant but excentric musician descending from Australian aristocracy.
New Yids on the Block – Israeli West Bank settlements continue.
Sample Minds – Experi-mental band.
Jimmy Somervilla – Flash cunt with property abroad.
Matallica – a heavy metal band you could walk all over
Flayer – They don’t kill you, they just strip you of your skin
Pill Bailey – This comic is like a musical version of Andrew Maxwell
Lady Raga – Rhavi Shankhar’s daughter
Gills Aloud – Fish-pop
Nat Kong Cole – Soul singing king of the jungle
The Dours – Bad humoured Californians
Johnny Bash – Country sihging sensation with a masturbating compulsion
The Why – Pointless 60′s rockers
Gina Turner – dublin tribute to teh mother of rock!
ACCA – Swedish Boy/Girl foursome of chartered accountant songsters.
Oh shit that’s two letters
New Kid on the Blocks, talentless, ugly and permanently menstrual chanteuse
V2 – How to Deliver an Atomic Bomb.
Rolling Scones – Good with rotating tea.
Right Dead Fred – I’m too Sexy for my tomb.
Ronan Bleating – When you sheer nothing at all.
Shitesnake – self-explanatory.
Erosure – Worn down from so many years on tour.
Kruftwerk – electronic music with a real pedigree.
Yew Order – Manchester band and friend of Ronan Bleating.
Oh shit that’s two letters
Twenty Lou told me off because he missed my letter change, but you do this atrocity and ….. nothing.
It’s discrimination. I’m off to the EU.
Booker T & the BG’s – Memphis Soul singer replaces Maurice for their last tour.
Eslan – Balinasloe tribute band of dublin junkie rockers!
Lung if that New Order thing is an ovine reference surely it should be Ewe Order?
Yours pedantically
Peter Frappton – I don’t need you to show me the way.
Peep Purple, heavy rock with indecent exposure.
Isao Tomata, synthesizer virtuoso who loves ketchup.
Gordon Lightfool, just a little foolish.
Gipsy Kongs, hairy, scary gipsy music broadcast live from the Empire State Building.
Pooper – Stuart David gets all incontinent!
Conway Twatty – He went from bad to worse.
Leopard Cohen – Susanne takes him down to a place by the river.
Sink Floyd – Band on the Titanic
Saul McCartney – Yesterday.
B2 – Bomb the music fans by stealth
The Rogues – Uncouth Irish band…oh…
Rob Marley – never really made it!
Peter Nosh – Hungry after smoking all that maryjane
Jami Hendrix – He managed to get to Woodstock and the Isle of Wight festival. Lucky bastard.
The Bailers – Jailhouse Rock
10 BC – One of those rock dinosaurs wiped out by Punk music
Barry Shite- more hole than soul.
Uriah Hemp – Return to Fantasy
Wishbone Ask – Who are they?
Yis – Australian tribute band
Nob Marley – Bit of a dick really
The Plaice – Dockers band
Guns N’ Hoses – Firemen do gangsta rap
The Bars – You really shouldn’t drive home tonight
AC/AC – For those about to Alternate
The Jesus and Mary Chair – Higher that a high stool.
UltraPox – caught in Vienna by Minge Ure
Iggy Cop – He’s got a lust for a life of lockin’ up bad guys
Climie Fister – Love changes everything … especially the size of your ringpiece
Muddy Holly – After the Crash
Bingo Starr – His true calling
UN – Bringers of peace to troubled spots (wait a munute????)
Snob Patrol – D4 neighbourhood watch
Climie Fister – Love changes everything
..Bastard..heh
Boy Division – Anal love will tear us apart
Dustin Timberlake – Zig and Zag’s mate went out with Britney, you know.
David Pray – please forgive him on the other side
James Brunt – He always gets the shitty end of the stick
Slide – They’re frum Bruum, ain’t thy?
Michael Lublé – Greasy anus
Heil Diamond – Nazi singer of Sweet Caroline
The Libertunes – free downloads and CDs
Everything But The Gril – Almost perfect fitted kitchens.
Whipping Toy – BDSM Rock.
Donna Bummer – She’ll do you right up the jacksie with a strap-on
Simply Ned – Ginger, Glaswegian ASBO-toting “soul” band.
Muffy – just a big cunt
Pimply Red – stuck in puberty as he holds back the years
What – A Duo where the 2nd guy doesnt sing or play and instrument?
Slate – brittle 70s glam rock combo
Mariah Farey – Time to come out of the closet love
The Sleet – slushy 70s glam rock band
Blade – Wolverhampton Slashers
Med at Work – Down Under Doctor
Kate Sash – Cockney Loyal Order member
Geezer – Cockney Nerd Rock
Yid Creole and the Coconuts – Jewish Big Band Disco Funk
Alah Parsons Project – Muslim Progressive Rock
Thomas Dolly – Barbie Loving singer/producer
The Sluts – Permissive Punk Band
Hoards of Canada – Ork made mellow electronica
Aphex Twit – Idiotic electonic drun n Bass
Bib Marley – suffered a massive stroke
Emerson Bake and Palmer – experimental super-group heavily into buns
Pimply Red – stuck in puberty as he holds back the years
one of the best.
Swing – loves to practice in Fields of Golf
Gerry and The Palemakers – tanning got so passé.
Elfis Presley – fairytale King of Rock
Savage Warden – Affirmation that the Truly Madly Deeply awful “comedian” should be locked up
Dare Straits – Go on, one more shit album, bet you wouldn’t!
Cack L – The real name of the rip off merchant cunt bag suburban pub playing Gary Glitter lookalike.
Roberta Slack – the first time ever she saw their faces she was theirs
A2 – Look good on paper.
Toy George – Small but perfectly formed.
Pony Bennett – Well known Finglas horseman.
Heather Stall – Run by gypsies, supposed to bring good luck, boss.
KP Lang – loves peanuts.
Fan Lovin Criminals – Like to be cool.
Gaul Brady – francophile irishman says a long adieu
Swoop Dogg – Hanggliding rapper.
Tom Pesty – Singing nuisance.
Cheryl Chow – Always eating, but still skinny as a rake.
Wu Tang Clap – Love the roar of the crowd.
Crystal Gable – breaking headfirst through the glass ceiling broke her nose & made her brown eyes blue
T.W.A – Transatlantic like a muthafucka…
Chris Pea – Fool if you think its mange tout
ive lost my mojo listening to the murphy report..
I’ll be there wont be 170 comments on whatever you write about that Twenty..
Echo and the Funnymen – Comedy group with big hair, similar to the Chuckle Brothers with scouse attitude.
Franky Goes To Bollywood – Gay Indian Musical?
The Ra’s – And I just can’t contain, this semtex that remains.
Pissy Elliott – wetting your pants is a Misdemeanour not a felony
Bjorg – Resistance is futile erm no thanks Iceland is too cold for me
Lung John Baldry – The smoker’s choice.
The Cores – Boring right to the centre.
Penisis – Well, they are since Gabriel left!
Fananarama – Suppose they had to be really saying something.
Ape of Base – one Cruel Cruel Summer an owl lost its Beautiful Life
haha
Poni Basil – Horse mickey, you’re so fine
Bolivia Newton John – let’s get coke
Sugar Pill Gang – Placebo tribute band..
Kill Young – Hope they die before I get old.
What the fuck… i have the best one ever and it just won’t appear. Have you got a blocker on ones that are super clever?
I’ll try again…
Sugar Pill Gang, a Placebo tribute act.
Genius!
Dexy’s Midnight Gunners, dungaree-clad assassin squad with night-vision.
Or something.
The Strikes – a favourite of Newry shopkeepers.
Pig Country, swine in check shirts
Blobby McFerrin – don’t worry, be spotty
Rollerskate Spinny – Dizzy Psychadelic rockers
Rape Against the Machine – Does Copperface Jacks have a Carpark?
The Devs – Donegal Fianna Fail tribute band.
The Belle Stabs – Limerick-based all girl ska pop skanks
Sharleen Spiterr – I don’t want a mouthful.
Glue in Heaven – Bind us together Lord.
Hatie Melua – Watch out, she’ll puncture your bicycle.
Bussycat Dolls – Arrive at gigs on the 77A.
Casement Jaxx – the windows in the house music
Elvin Costello – A good year for the little people
The Fureys and Ravey Arthur – The green fields of trance.
Share McGowan – drinks are on him.
Mungo Terry – John’s ma in the summertime
“Casement Jaxx – the windows in the house music”.
Toilet windows
Ron Bon Jovi – hard core in both the film and music worlds
Feminem – legendary transgender pineer from 8-Mile
Madam Clayton – back-door man from the Dublin mountains
Ricky Fartin – he could really bring the house down
Tom Jonas and George Jonas Jnr – the original Jonas Brothers
Terry Lacks – Season in the Sun-derland back four
Mandy – Mundy in a nice frock.
Katy Terry – fun-loving pop princess saved from the dabauchery of Russell Bland by a last ditch sliding tackle from EB John Terry
Randy Manwarmer – Don’t give up on us, Gayby
The Fureys and Ravey Arthur – The green fields of trance.
Damn, that is good.
Pestlife – Day to day existence of 4 cockroaches.
Terence Trent B’Arby – Sign your name across my anatomically incorrect heart.
Adam and the Anus – Stand and deliver but be gentle.
Julian Dope – World shut your …..uh….what was I saying?.
Echo and the Munnymen – Only rock group ever to be bailed out by Fianna Fail.
Kakagoogoo – describes their music perfectly.
The Gee Gees – Neighin’ Alive
Dilbert O’Sullivan – Cartoon crooner alone again, naturally.
Freddie Uranus – hang on – thats a planet not a letter
Leo Gayer – You make me feel like cruisin’
Chesney Hawker – the one and only sports socks seller on Moore St.
Billy Gay Cyrus – Achy Breaky Arse
Stevie Nacks — Tracksuit wearing coke-bummer..
Belton John – Tough queer
Dick Jagger – that about describes him dontcha think?
The Perve – a filthy sweet symphony
Stevie Winder – legendary barrel organist
Jelly – larger than life rapper
Meal – big croonster with legendary appetite
Prick Springfield – should have stayed in Australia
The Hedge – hardly
Paul McFartney – lead singer with Winds
Sister Pledge – a polished act
Midge Ire – still angry at Sir Bob Geldof
Boris Gardener – I want to wake up with yew
Midget Ure – pint sized Scotsman who never ate his greens
Christy Moose – deerly loved folkster
Japes – Sit down and stop the messing.
UFU – Go fuck yourself.
Sinéad O’Conker – Singer of old chestnuts.
OK, everyone stop. The abuse report is out.
Kinks of Leon – they had a mishap with candle wax bedroom games & now her sex is on fire
Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Park – Bleak synthpoppers change style to oompah bandstanders.
some good news
“A GROUP of academics and students at NUI Maynooth has called on the university to suspend its appointment of former taoiseach Bertie Ahern as a visiting professor pending the outcome of the Mahon tribunal.
Campaigners said up to 1,000 signatures opposing the appointment had been collected among the student body and a public meeting on the issue took place last week.”
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/frontpage/2009/1126/1224259488850.html?via=mr
Maggot, please repost that comment in the new posting. Save this one for the light-hearted stuff.
The Stroked – American rockers who spent time in a catholic boarding school.
Delete these as necessary.
He has it in for you today Maggot.
Wily Allen – Oh My Gosh that coyote has a sly Smile
Lily Alpen – She’s a bit nutty
The Shiths – Frontman Morrisey has a lisp
Lee Scratch Terry – Chelsea V Birmingham; A fight breaks out between Bowyer and the Chelsea captain.
(Not bad for someone who knows nothing about football, eh?
Pixie Lost – Uh Oh, Uh Oh… there’ll be trouble
Tail Cruz – aka kerb crawling
Anon – whatshisname with the smurfs
Ironic – this one can spell
Gravis – seriously silly videos
Dole-The recession affects even Courtney Love
Tote – Hold the line, AOR group like to flutter on the GGs
Average White Wand – normal penis size
Lionel Richte – R&B star likes his dry biscuits
Dozy Powell – Stupid drummer
Alison Monet – Alf meets the Renaissance
Neil Sinn – New Zealand based republican singer
Spandau Bullet – New Romantic snipers
The Bray – How to save a life in Wicklow
The Waferboys – back to biscuits again
Tom Cones – smoking the green green grass of home
The Stale Council – Paul Weller goes off again
Steely Tan – Jazz duo open up a sunbed suite
NAMA Mouskouri – Greek bailout
Jethro Pull – Playing the flesh flute
Cyndi Pauper – Recession victim
George Bunson – Science instrument soul star
Blancminge – White French Fanny
The Stragglers – Punk group just can’t keep up
Bot Wow Wow – go wild in the country where snakes in the arse are absolutely free
The Beach Toys – Good Vibrations
Deff Buckley – Hear today , Gone Tomorrow
Boybone – Manager Louis says the name came to him one time when he got an erection.
Take Twat – Actually, it takes five of them.
He has it in for you today Maggot.
Just a tiff HM, it will pass. I’ll forgive him when the flowers and choccies arrive!
Men Without Cats – Canadian 80s pop group also started a canine appreciation society.
Dire Rea Two shite sound of the 80′s in one
KD Twang Texas Lesbian chanteuse.
Guns and Doses. Need I go on.
DeafMau5
Miles Mavis
Midnight Buggernaughts
Gammy Davis Jnr
Nat King Hole
Modest House
Virgin Prawns….Pagan Fish
Shagged Catholics….Dublin skinhead band/gang caught up in church sex scandal shocker.
Bat for Gashes – Likes the cricket bat treatment
Willy de Wille – RIP
Lemon Welly – Electro footwear
Bland Melon
Empire of the Bun – Walking on a cream(bun)
All these bands have a great stage act at the local bondage club:
Kid Creole and the Cocknuts
Kajapoogoo
R.I.M
The Dangles
Jobby Brown
Herbie Mancock
Howard Bones
Gloria Estefan & The Miami Pound Machine
Orchestral Manoeuvers In The Dork
Florence and She Machine
Lady Gags
Rings of Leon
Cackson Brown – Somebody’s baby
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