Crime spreeeeeeeeee

Posted on | November 24, 2009 | 69 Comments

So it’s strike day. I read in the paper that Gardai in rural areas are turning off their mobiles so as not to help their colleagues or people or anyone else. They’re going to sit on their holes doing nothing [insert obvious joke in here].

Strikes me it’s the perfect day for organised criminal gangs to carry out a bit of the old illegal felonious yardbird stuff they like to carry out. Response times? Pfff, don’t make me laugh.

It might also be a good day to take out David McSavage. In the interests of public comment I watched the second half of his ‘Savage Eye’ show last night.

It is, without question, the unfunniest thing that has ever been broadcast on TV anywhere in the world. And I include Arab TV where they show live HD beheadings of screaming westerners.

Saying the word ‘Queer’ in a thick bogger accent is not funny. Riverdance sketches? Brilliant. Why had nobody thought of that before? The lads at Langerland would want to have a look at it as well. It struck me some of the stuff was just ripped off from their cartoons. There were ‘jokes’ about paedophile priests and as my arch-competitor in the old Entertainment Ireland awards blog vote thingy Maman Poulet pointed out, they come in the week when the Dublin Diocesan report is to be published, heaping more shame upon the Church and no doubt causing further anguish to the victims.

He tried surreal, we got shite. And I don’t mean any old kind of shite. I mean the kind of shite that it riddled with worms and clumps of unidentifiable body tissue. It was far, far worse than I had imagined.

And we paid for it with our licence fee money. Whoever commissioned this abomination ought to be fired. Whoever viewed this prior to broadcast and allowed it to be spewed onto national television ought to be thoroughly ashamed of themselves them horsewhipped. And there are another 5 episodes to. If RTE had any stones it would cancel it immediately and replace it with half an hour of the test card or simply a high pitched tone. It would have more merit as a piece of entertainment than the muck McSavage has foisted upon an already distressed nation.

If the public sector workers went on strike to protest about this TV show then they would have unanimous support from the whole country. He makes the cunt who invented those Spar ads with Louis Walsh and Bertie Ahern look like the greatest comedy genius that ever lived.

If the Gardai can find the time to stitch up innocent Donegal publicans then the fact they haven’t done a thing to McSavage, who is guilty of so much, is an absolute shame on them.

Put it right, coppers. What else have you got to do today?

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Comments

69 Responses to “Crime spreeeeeeeeee”

  1. Lung the Younger
    November 24th, 2009 @ 10:48 am

    I didn’t see it but it sounds about as funny as a fire at an orphanage.

  2. Fill3rup
    November 24th, 2009 @ 10:51 am

    They can be great craic though Lung..

  3. Git
    November 24th, 2009 @ 10:56 am

    I’m willing to take your word and avoid it, but it’s up on the RTÉ Player for anyone who’s stupid enough to want to see it.
    http://www.rte.ie/player/#v=1060811

  4. Twenty Major
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:06 am

    You know the most of us would avoid having our cock’s bitten repeatedly by a cobra? That’s how much you should avoid it.

  5. Fatmammycat
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:22 am

    Jaysus, he is a hateful fuck ain’t he?

  6. Twenty Major
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:27 am

    Yes he is.

  7. Toronto Icarus
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:30 am

    There are no words to describe how much I hate that man. If I wasn’t 5000 miles away from him, i’d heed your call to arms.On the bright side, i’m 5000 miles away from him.

  8. Quality Waffle
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:33 am

    I have a vague recollection of that knob-head talking about how he suffered from low self esteem a couple of years back when his “career” hit a low. To quote the movie “Spanglish”, sometimes David, your low self esteem is just good common sense.

  9. peadar
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:51 am

    Damien Rice isn’t such a bad fella after all

  10. Fatmammycat
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:51 am

    “Damien Rice isn’t such a bad fella after all”

    Peadar, how could you?

  11. peadar
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:56 am

    perspective, that’s all

  12. Fill3rup
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:58 am

    **ducks for cover**

  13. Mr. Weekend
    November 24th, 2009 @ 12:01 pm

    Praise the lord for small miracles. I just tried to open the player and it cannot be viewed outside Ireland. At least the fucker will stay on the island.

  14. Adie
    November 24th, 2009 @ 12:15 pm

    Twenty my dear friend.

    That David McSavage is an odious, talentless cunt is not in question.

    But you have to understand that RTE can’t do comedy, look at the mewling cabbages they give a platform to; Brendan Fucking O’Carroll, Killina fuckingskully and that fat bird who just wears stupid clothes and acts like a fucking eejit.

    The panel was funny for about 5 minutes until they all started giving each other knowing looks and jealously protecting their “celebrity”

    If you want to find good Irish Comedy go to London, Channel 4, BBC2.

    If you want Plank Kenny, Ryan Turgid-y and Brendan Grace, stay with RTE.

    If we were to demand value for money for our license fee, we would be owed a significant refund. If you expect disappointment from RTE, you will never be let down.

  15. Twenty Major
    November 24th, 2009 @ 12:17 pm

    Not arguing with that at all.

    I did not have any expectations going into this, believe me.

  16. Martin
    November 24th, 2009 @ 12:17 pm

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_McSavage

    refers to him as an exeptionally unfunny comedian.

  17. Toronto Icarus
    November 24th, 2009 @ 12:21 pm

    Thats an outright fucking lie Martin. He isn’t a comedian.

  18. Adie
    November 24th, 2009 @ 12:25 pm

    The shame is that we have accepted our fate vis a vis RTE’s output entertainment wise.

  19. divneymathers
    November 24th, 2009 @ 12:59 pm

    “refers to him as an exeptionally unfunny comedian.”

    Hah, and it goes a lot further than that…..

    David Andrews is an exceptionally unfunny Irish comedian who works under the pseudonym of David McSavage. His career stems largely from the fact of having family as current and former members of Dáil_Éireann and a cousin as one of the highest earners in Ireland’s national broadcaster. Therefore Andrews, and generations of his family before can be considered spongers and are subsisided enormously at the Irish Tax payers expense for no discernable reason other than their lineage. Nepotism is far from dead in 21st Century Ireland

  20. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 1:03 pm

    The quality of mercy is not strained.

  21. Crank
    November 24th, 2009 @ 1:20 pm

    That other shite ‘Val Falvey TD’ or whatever the fuck it’s called was pretty horrendous the other night. Actually, Nationwide is often funnier and that’s saying something.

    Now back to our Twenty Major in the County Dublin who’s been checking it out…

  22. gimmeaminute
    November 24th, 2009 @ 1:31 pm

    You’re advocating the pound of flesh murder method there, Maggot?

  23. Lafsword
    November 24th, 2009 @ 1:41 pm

    On a lighter note

    What do you call a woman with two cunts?
    Mrs Grimes

  24. Robert Sweetnam
    November 24th, 2009 @ 1:42 pm

    I have to hold my hand up and admit that I was the one who edited McSavages wikipedia entry last night, twice actually. (After copious amounts of booze too I might add hence all the typos!)

    Interestingly 12 hours later it hasn’t been changed back so I think I must have hit the nail on the head.

  25. triangle
    November 24th, 2009 @ 1:45 pm

    has anyone noticed the size of the cunts nose….could poke cats from under a bed,oh and hes not funny….sad to watch,wont be watchin again,im off now to write to rte and talk to joe

  26. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 1:51 pm

    Too fast gimme. too fast.

    You’ll need to explain that one Lafs. Mrs Grimes?

  27. Lafsword
    November 24th, 2009 @ 1:56 pm

    His Daddy has kinda of a kiddie fiddlers face, so maybe when McSavage was suggesting that the passing father was having sex with his young daughter, he was actually suffering from flashbacks to his own childhood.

    Did Daddy visit your room at night David ? Did he get you to bite down on the pillow ? You fucking Wankstain.

    His family are all Fianna Fail scum, so what else could he be but a cunt.

  28. Lafsword
    November 24th, 2009 @ 1:59 pm

    You’ll need to explain that one Lafs. Mrs Grimes?

    John & Edward – Jedwards mother, so I’m told, heard this from a girl in the office this morning.

  29. Adie
    November 24th, 2009 @ 2:04 pm

    Technically, that would make her a woman with three cunts.

    Technically

  30. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 2:21 pm

    What sort of woman takes the name Grimes?

  31. Twenty Major
    November 24th, 2009 @ 2:25 pm

    Ashley Grimes is Jedward’s dad.

  32. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 2:36 pm

    Any relation Twenty ?

  33. Twenty Major
    November 24th, 2009 @ 2:37 pm

    No clue really

  34. el cuno
    November 24th, 2009 @ 3:15 pm

    I had never heard of this andrews/savage person until this blog, so out of interest I had a look at the rte player link above (quiet day, not quiet enough to be on strike though). I would argue that, although puerile, obvious and not very funny, this is not the worst programme put out on RTE. Of course, it’s crap, but we have come to expect crap – it’s just not the very worst crap on TV and I think, Mr 20, you have been over the top in your denunciations.

  35. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 3:20 pm

    remember el cuno, it is personal.

  36. divneymathers
    November 24th, 2009 @ 3:32 pm

    I’ve only seen the cunt on YouLube.
    That was enough.

  37. el cuno
    November 24th, 2009 @ 3:57 pm

    Apparently NI is jammed today with strikers up doing the Christmas shopping. This could be an annual thing…

  38. DD
    November 24th, 2009 @ 4:03 pm

    Well, it’s not a great day outside to on a picket line, is it?

  39. DD
    November 24th, 2009 @ 4:04 pm

    Any truth in the rumour that the teachers stopped picketing 3 hours before every other worker?

  40. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 4:12 pm

    I thought they are on strike because they don’t have any money?

    We should close our borders!

  41. el cuno
    November 24th, 2009 @ 4:14 pm

    preferably close them while they are still up there

  42. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 4:15 pm

    economic refugee camps established in Larne

  43. Twenty Major
    November 24th, 2009 @ 4:30 pm

    Anyway, fuck McSavage, those beautiful savages at beaut.ie are creaming the votes – http://entertainment.ie/pages/AnnualAwards/

    Vote Twenty!

  44. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 5:28 pm

    Not after what you said about Spurs matey! Couldn’t bring myself to vote for U2 though.

  45. Crank
    November 24th, 2009 @ 5:32 pm

    There, I voted for ya twenty (lots). It’s neck and neck now…

  46. Git
    November 24th, 2009 @ 5:43 pm

    You haven’t a hope against Beaut.ie Twenty.
    They have much faster fingers than any of us.

  47. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 5:45 pm

    I voted for the scrawny spursophobic little git as well, but don’t tell him .

  48. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 5:51 pm

    Fuck me, over six hundred cunts have voted for Tommy Tiernan as best Irish Comedian. That cannot be right?

  49. Mike
    November 24th, 2009 @ 7:17 pm

    erm….

    and “Talegaver til børn” (Oral presents for children) – Charity show.

    This from the wiki?

    :O

  50. daniel
    November 24th, 2009 @ 7:20 pm

    Probably thanks to Git it is the most watched show on RTE player.

    It was ass cringing before the queer bit already when I decided to “reported a problem” because it was the unfunniest thing I’ve seen. I pressed send and the screen froze with the player running in the background. The queer bit started and I just couldn’t wait for a confirmation to appear.

  51. Bogart
    November 24th, 2009 @ 7:42 pm

    Jesus, what a terrible programme and what a first-class, hook-nosed cunt! If he’s against the Irish language then it’s dead cool in my book.

    Katherine Lynch isn’t particularly funny but she was bang on the fuckin money when she slagged him (as Sheila Sheikh) in Temple Bar – you can watch it on youtube – here’s the link (it’s near the end of the clip).

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZL2M29DDLI

  52. itchybollix
    November 24th, 2009 @ 9:55 pm

    that beaut site is weird. It has a poll in perfectly good taste with regards to music, yeahyeahsyeahs, bat for lashes, Sonic Youth and then has a poll with best expose presenter…from class to scrubber quicker than bertie with other peoples money

  53. amstadhg
    November 24th, 2009 @ 10:17 pm

    long-time reader, first time poster, and the tipping point was that five minutes i wasted on youtube checking out who this Dave McSavage is. My prose could never do it justice, but it’s utterly astonishing how bad that show is.

  54. Gluaistean
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:24 pm

    Holy Jesus! – Even I thought Ireland could not sink that low!!! This McSavage wanker makes even Maggots jokes look funny!!!
    Good luck with getting a refund on your TV licences lads!!!

  55. Lafsword
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:29 pm

    Who the fuck is voting for the fucking Panel, STOP IT, CUNTS.

  56. Lafsword
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:44 pm

    Liverpool crash out of the Champions League, What a fucking Brilliant week I’m having.http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/rss/-/sport1/hi/football/europe/8372942.stm

    Liverpool & Crime Spreeeeee seems to fit somehow..

  57. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:53 pm

    Ever heard of the Nasal Bot fly Gluestain?

    Cousins of mine, there are squadrons of them heading your way with instructions to oviposit in each and every orifice.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/32977858@N02/3252202722/

  58. maggot
    November 24th, 2009 @ 11:59 pm

    Scousers whining, it’s great!

    Hope they keep Rafa.

  59. Lafsword
    November 25th, 2009 @ 12:58 am

    They Have to keep Rafa, they can’t afford the £20m it would take to pay him off – feel a bit sorry for Paul Hart though, hope he got a good pay off, got royally fucked ther this year.

    Still Liverpool are really shit and that’s all that matters today..

  60. GLUAISTEAN
    November 25th, 2009 @ 5:38 am

    OBVIOUSLY THE BETTER LOOKING MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY, MAGGOT.

  61. Lung the Younger
    November 25th, 2009 @ 8:33 am

    Ah, that’s more like it Gluey.
    I didn’t recognise you in lower case but it’s nice to see you’re back off your meds again.

  62. Damien
    November 25th, 2009 @ 8:35 am

    Did anyone read that feature they had on Savage in the magazine section of the Sunday Times last week. It opened with Savage explain how he found his childhood diary recently, which revealed to him how he mercilessly bullied his younger brother. I guess the writer assumed this would make appear reflective and sympathetic, when in fact it merely confirms that he’s always been a massive prick. His “comedy” now is what he probably did to his brother back then.

  63. GLUAISTEAN
    November 25th, 2009 @ 9:20 am

    JEEZ LUNG – I COULD BE ON MEDS SURE, BUT THE REST OF YOU MUST BE ON CRACK TO BE BENDING OVER AND TAKING IT LIKE YOU ARE!

  64. Fill3rup
    November 25th, 2009 @ 9:33 am

    We’re on Craic Gluey, not Crack.. But its running out fast..

  65. GLUAISTEAN
    November 25th, 2009 @ 11:53 am

    AH WELL – GRIN AND BARE IT ; )

  66. Grumpy scottish cunt
    November 25th, 2009 @ 1:09 pm

    Only real funny man left is “Obnoxious Frankie Boyle”.

    Another grumy scottish cunt, the world is a beeter place wiff us cunts in it.

    His subtle and endearing chaffs are such a joy on ears.

  67. Lafsword
    November 25th, 2009 @ 1:16 pm

    Frankie Boyle is a Legend

  68. Fill3rup
    November 25th, 2009 @ 1:43 pm

    He is alright..

  69. Radar
    February 7th, 2010 @ 8:07 pm

    Just stumbled upon this now and felt compelled to say how much I dislike McSavage

    McSavage is about as funny as a venerial disease !

    I’ve seen his stand up in Temple Bar where he pics on Random people while they walk past and slags them….amazed nobody has hit the unfunny cunt yet!

    Anyone know if that hate filled voice mail he left for the sugar clubs manager after they banned him from the venue is on the web ??

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