Do you know what’d be awesome?

If you were a bank worker and you got wind that you were going to be subjected to one of those ubiquitous ‘Tiger kidnappings’, and using your advance warning you went and stayed in a hotel that night and filled your house with man-eating Bengals.

Wouldn’t be long before the criminals lobbied to have the name changed to ‘Puppy kidnappings’. Which by their very nature would be much more playful affairs.

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39 Responses to Do you know what’d be awesome?

  1. gobnait o'lunacy says:

    when this happened first, I wondered why banks were keeping tigers in their vaults. Surely an alarm would be more efficient?

  2. Tomo says:

    In the US, kidnapping is second only to murder in terms of legal seriousness- if there was a mandatory, non-negotiable, non-paroleable, minimum, 20 year sentence imposed on celtic tiger raiders, to be served BEFORE whatever they’re sentenced to for the actual robbery, I’m pretty sure there’d be a sudden decrease in that particular practice. Of course that would take a credible competent administration, so I’m not holding my breath.

  3. Twenty Major says:

    Quite.

    Very quiet isn’t it? Is everyone nervous ahead of France’s 2-0 win tonight?

  4. rape-a-tron says:

    imagine you kidnapped someone’s puppy, kept it for all the awesome puppy months and then gave it back.

  5. Fill3rup says:

    Im worried that Robbie Keane wont be assaulted in the face in a nightclub later on..

  6. Twenty Major says:

    imagine you kidnapped someone’s puppy, kept it for all the awesome puppy months and then gave it back.

    haha.

    Although the puppy months involve a lot of cleaning up and pooing and chewing stuff and maybe when you got it back it had matured into a nice dog. Like if Cesar Millan kidnapped your dog.

    I think we all share that worry, Fill. Fingers crossed.

  7. Sniffle says:

    Thierry Henry ( terry henry ) is very puppyish. Not tigerish like our Damo.

    Oh God, early goal, anyone, anyone ?

  8. Twenty Major says:

    Yep. Anelka, 8th minute

  9. Crank says:

    One bunch of criminals giving money to the banks, another taking it away. What’s the problem?

  10. If the banks don’t cap the wages at 500,000 yo-yo’s then i swear i’ll kill this puppy.

  11. Sniffle says:

    Dare to hope, jesus fucking h christ , it’s horrible ………

  12. RandomNoise says:

    Watching through fingers from behind the couch.

  13. Sniffle says:

    Oh christ , give me strength, give them strength ..

  14. Don’t say it. Hope is a fragile thing.
    Who wants a valium?

  15. Peno? NOoooooo.

    No! Yahoo!!!!!

  16. fill3rup says:

    Disgraceful..

  17. manuel says:

    ha….and I mean that

  18. You can go to FIFA.com and leave feedback under the ‘contact us’ link at the bottom of the screen.

    I (in nice political language) asked them what sanctions they would impose on the filthbag Henri.

  19. triangle says:

    handball x2 wottse storttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyy fukin frenchie cheats,and why are all french team players black

  20. triangle says:

    ooooooopssssssss that is a racist comment but i dont care …..fok u

    pc dikheads

  21. triangle says:

    CUNTS

  22. Holemaster says:

    Cheese eating hand ball monkeys.

  23. maggot says:

    I just ate a mars bar

  24. Holemaster says:

    I’m off to bed now to dream about riding a mars bar.

  25. maggot says:

    so long as it’s not the one in my stomach HM. That is off limits.

  26. Crank says:

    A Mars a day helps you rest, rest and rest…

    Sweet dreams zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  27. Git says:

    ‘Sweet’ dreams…
    fnukk fnukk, fnarr fnarr

  28. maggot says:

    T Henry for Teashop!

  29. SAm crea says:

    predicting silence from the Arsenal fans out there….

  30. maggot says:

    Once again, would all be so different if Ireland had a nuke. Paris smoking emebers, national pride restored.

  31. GLUAISTEAN says:

    THAT’S RIGHT LADS – AS LONG AS YOU HAVE YOUR FOOTBALL AND YOUR PINTS ALL IS WELL WITH YOUR TINY EMERALD-GREEN WORLD…
    I’M BEGINNING TO THINK THE BANKS AND THE GOVERNMENT ACTUALLY ARE IN THE RIGHT OF THINGS, WHO IN GOD’S NAME WOULD TRUST THE PLAIN PEOPLE OF IRELAND WITH RUNNING ITS AFFAIRS…

  32. SuperGrover says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…

    Fuck off, Gluey.

  33. GLUAISTEAN says:

    DRY YOUR TINY TEARS SUPERGROVER.

  34. el cuno says:

    SG, he can’t read normal typing

  35. Fatmammycat says:

    “predicting silence from the Arsenal fans out there….’
    What’s it got to do with Arsenal, he was playing for France and is at Barcelona? Why drag his ex club into it?

  36. maggot says:

    Because Arsenal Fans are cunts FMC

  37. Fatmammycat says:

    Ah, I see.

  38. The Other Ron says:

    “In the US, kidnapping is second only to murder in terms of legal seriousness- if there was a mandatory, non-negotiable, non-paroleable, minimum, 20 year sentence imposed on celtic tiger raiders, to be served BEFORE whatever they’re sentenced to for the actual robbery, I’m pretty sure there’d be a sudden decrease in that particular practice.”

    Yeah, but there’d be an increase in just killing the people once you were finished robbing the bank. Murder in Ireland only gets you 20 years, so if murder = kidnapping, there’s a fair few fucked up idiots who’ll take the “easy” way out and kill the captive instead of running the risk of them identifying them later.

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