It’s the worst toaster ever. It takes ages to make toast. I could nearly go out and fetch kindling then wood and build my own fire, on a wet day, then toast my bread using a stick.
I wish Dyson would make a toaster like those fancy new hand-driers. If you can dry a man’s soaking wet hands in less than 10 seconds it should be possibly to make a piece of toast in less than 30.
Have we really achieved anything as a society when shocking and fundamental flaw like this exist? I don’t think so.
But wouldn’t it toast your hands too.
Queues for pub toilet hand dryers are bad enough with feckers making toast as well
I’m guessing that the “Burn” setting is working perfectly Twenty?
Ah Twenty, just wait around.
Sure within a couple of years they’ll be selling mobile phones that can make toast. Just like I was explainin’ to Joe Duffy on de radio de other day……….
Just get someone else to put on your toast, 5 mins earlier than you normally do.
Then just walk into the kitchen, and Hey Presto, Toast!
Are you sure the toaster is plugged in? If so run it under a warm tap. while it’s plugged in
walk into the kitchen in the nude. put the toast on, get dressed and by the time you’ve donned your name tag and cap it’ll be good to go.
Wire it up to a car battery and you can bring it with you on the bus.
N’yom, n’yom, all the way to the petrol station.
fast toast doesnt taste as nice as slow toast. Its a sad fact of life.
If it’s really stale bread, you could put it in the microwave, toaster and all.
fast toast doesnt taste as nice as slow toast. Its a sad fact of life.
I strongly disagree on this very serious issue.
Slow toast dries out too much and can become like cracker bread. Fast toast is lovely and hot and brown on the the outside but still soft and spongy in the middle. I always turn the toaster up to the highest setting. But then I have to stand over it and eject it when it starts to burn
Toast (two slices)
Cheese (cheapest available, loads)
Microwave until it has the appearnace of napalm.
Eat.
On nom nom and indeed nom.
with ketchup scaryduck, with ketchup.
Microwaved toast? What fresh madness is this?
Have you tried ironing the bread?
Dyson is the Jock Bono. Made a huge thing of playing to the ethnic gallery, Scottish workforce, white heather club, tartan shortbread, kilts etc then when he got successful he moved the operation abroad so as to become even richer.
A very thin layer of Bovril or Marmite gives the appearance of toast for those mornings when you just don’t have the time. Apply it in layers until you reach the correct amount of ‘burn’.
I know a man who eats Bovril on toast
Have you a Gearge Foreman Grill?
Put the bread in that..
Its like a George Foreman but from Tipperary..
Bovril on toast is nice.
Bovril? You minging bastard.
Tuna fish mixed with onion and mayo. Completely delicious, even if it means you can’t go within 10 feet of anyone else for the rest of the day.
We used to get Bovril on toast as a treat when we were kids. And we lived in a brown paper bag on the side of the road. But we were happy.
You were lucky….
toast on a superser tastes nicer
You can’t beat a dash of Lee and Perrins on a cheddar cheese toastie.
Isn’t that a Welsh rarebit?
We used to dream of eating Bovril on toast, living in luxury in a brown paper bag by the side of the road.
We were huddled under a dockleaf between the rails on the Dublin Galway line with no more than a crouton dipped in marmite for breakfast.
If your toaster is shit, you should “Talk To Joe”, that cunt will have the answer.
Yes, think it is Twenty. Although I hear Duffy has taken that mantle now.
My toaster on the other hand, is frackin’ cool:
I’mma let you finish, but Clint Eastwood & General Saint were 2 of the coolest toasters of all time.
my toaster has been broken for months, i just use the grill, one sided toast is great
Bovril, blech, boiled up TB cows that were too grim even for mince pies or Iceland burgers
That is a cool toaster, Gimme, but I’m not sure I believe it’s actually yours.
Hannah Montana toaster on the other hand …
Off topic:
I had a few last night and went to bed a bit locked. Woke up disorientated and needing a piss. Got up and walked into the wall banging my head.
You think that’s something? I have the loudest kettle known to man, it would give an old skool Boeing 737 powering on a run for it’s money!
Ah, remember the days when kettles whistled like canaries.
HM – heh. I got up for a piss last night and when I looked into the kitchen on my way I was convinced the plastic bag, which held all the plastic and paper for the green bin and which was hanging from the press door, was an evil little man sitting swinging his feet back and forth.
Took a few moments before the flow started.
Maybe that evil little man broke your toaster?
It’s not broken, it’s just shit.
And I hereby publicly apologise to Gimme for doubting the awesomeness of his toaster.
That doesn’t mean I don’t think he’d like a Hannah Montana one though.
Maggot says “Dyson is the Jock Bono. Made a huge thing of playing to the ethnic gallery, Scottish workforce, white heather club, tartan shortbread, kilts etc then when he got successful he moved the operation abroad so as to become even richer.”
Correct. For some reason however, only Bono is regarded out of these two to be a cunt. Oh well, at least Dyson has created some useful things.
http://www.likecool.com/Dyson_Toaster–Design–Gear.html
Is that a Jesus appiration on Gimme’s toast ?
hanging from the press door, was an evil little man sitting swinging his feet back and forth.
redstars again twenty?
Fuck the toaster, use a blow torch. Gives yer breakfast that added edge of danger.
Then apply marmalade by mixing an orange, some sugar and weedkiller and exploding it over the bread.
That’ll wake you up of a morning.
Fuck Dyson, all he does is put his name, and made in Britain on expensive shite, he brought out a wheel barrow with a ball wheel just like that fuckin vacuum cleaner, and no one on earth could get it to go in a straight line in wet conditions, he also brought out a double drum washing machine, what a load of wank that was,he’s supposed to be the great British inventor, Rodger Baylis is way better than the smarmy prick, so get a toaster made by some one with not much of their eyes showing and you’ll be alright.
It’s a cylon, Sniffle.
Frackin’ toasters.
you didnt buy one of those fancy tefal ones with the brushed aluminium finish and the bun-warming attachment, did you major? Slow as fuck
Bovril and butter mixed and spread on both sides of the bread, then stuck on a frying pan.
Sexual to the max.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the shop.
I never understood why toasters burn toast….I mean they have one job, to toast bread, so why do they have a setting that allows bread to burn….meh
Two words.
Croque, Monsieur.
the thing i never understood is why every toaster has a setting that burns toast to a crisp? who eats that shit?
and at what point of the toasting process does bread become toast?
Two words.
Croque, Monsieur.
That is four words
Did you know you can pop stale Cream Crackers in the toaster for a minute or so and they come out all crunchy like.
Potato cakes and Boxty can be toasted to perfection in the humble toaster.
A toaster is not suitable for drying out teabags.
Its the reason the world is in such a mess. Imagine the luxury of a 30 second toast cycle.
It would cheer everbody up no end, the accumulated saved time could be spent dreaming up weird and wonderful concotions to emblish the new age toast.
I can seee the dfay when we all have cold fusion toasters and the like, happy days.