Stupid bishops
Posted on | November 11, 2009 | 38 Comments
Story in today’s Irish Times:
IRELAND’S CATHOLIC bishops are “totally opposed” to the redevelopment of the Sellafield nuclear plant in Cumbria, west England, and would also oppose any plans to build a nuclear reactor in Ireland, the Archbishop of Cashel Most Rev Dermot Clifford said yesterday.
Ok, firstly who gives a shit what bishops think any more? Not me. Not that I ever did. I haven’t liked bishops since my confirmation when I went up and he smeared some crunchy peanut butter on my forehead. Instinctively I rubbed it straight off again which irked him, I think. He certainly tutted and whispered something nasty at me but he had a whole line of other foreheads to make filthy. And before my confirmation I had no dealings whatsoever with bishops so I had no firm opinion on them either way. So if I care not a jot for the opinion of the bishop of Cashel, I’m pretty sure that the Board of Nuclear Power Stations in the UK have no interest in anything he has to say.
Secondly, I welcome nuclear power and the expansion of Sellafield. Sure, there’s the whole meltdown risk. A Cumbrian Chernobyl wouldn’t be much fun but if that happens simply get into your car and take a weekend in the west of the country, enjoying the picturesque scenery and excellent seafood until the deadly cloud has passed over.
Ok, there might be some crazy mutant babies but we have to look at the positives – there’d probably be enough for a budding entrepeneur to start his or her own freak show, travelling the country and drawing in crowds to look at Octo-Twins and Arthurro, the flippered lad from Kinnegad.
What’s more environmentally friendly – a bit of nuclear fission or digging up great chunks of the earth to smoulder the peat or burn the oil to make the light to heat the house that Jacko lives in? Like you need me to tell you.
Bishops need to realise that stuff like this is irrelevant. Anti Sellafield rhetoric is soooo 80s. What next? Bishops will be telling us we need to do a big charity gig for the unemployed, perhaps calling it Self-Aid, and it will be the worst thing anybody has ever seen but you can bet Bono will still be involved because if there’s a ‘worthy’ cause you know that cunt will be on it unless the worthy cause is, you know, paying tax in your own country.
Does the bishop of Cashel realise that he has just aligned himself with Greenpeace? Maybe he’s dragging himself into a more modern era, having been stuck in the 1950s, but we’ve moved on. The whales are fine, bishop, there’s no need to save the whales. They’re perfectly happy. I saw them on David Attenborough’s new program and they’re humpbacking and sperming about with gay abandon. Sure a few Japs and a few Scandis are harpooning them but as Darwin so rightly said ‘Any species that gets harpooned on a regular basis but does not develop a harpoon proof hide is not worth preserving’.
How true. I wonder are bishops harpoon proof. Only one way to find out.
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38 Responses to “Stupid bishops”
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November 11th, 2009 @ 10:47 am
You are forgetting the obvious benefit of radiation poison Twenty.. Mutant Powers..
Who could argue with the upside of on being stopped by a scumbag for “Any Odds/a smoke?” You could make his arse explode with a blink of your eye..
November 11th, 2009 @ 10:54 am
Well yes, mutant babies could easily develop super powers.
Although this being Ireland we’d get crap super powers. A nation of ‘Turns his eyelids inside out Boy’
November 11th, 2009 @ 11:11 am
You’re absolutely right, Twenty. The average, sane, Irish person no longer has any interest in anything the bishops have to say. They are a spent force.
The only thing I want to hear is a bishop telling us that all the ecclesiastical kiddie fiddlers are in the Vatican having their nuts removed by the Papal Testical Convocation.
Otherwise, shut the fuck up.
November 11th, 2009 @ 11:15 am
They should just use a railgun to fire nuclear waste into the sun.
Then there’s no problem.
Anyway, I don’t respect any bishop that can’t banish a Bloodthirster demon of Khorne.
November 11th, 2009 @ 11:28 am
Funnily enough, I bashed a bishop last night.
Then I went home for an enormous wank.
November 11th, 2009 @ 11:58 am
Ah, kiss me ring bishop.
Dermot Clifford is an anagram of Comfort Fiddler.
November 11th, 2009 @ 12:12 pm
The Irish sea becomes a hot spa *ahem*, and Dublin could heat it’s houses Reykjavik style and Mary Hannifin becomes our Bjork and takes her glasses of provocatively . But twenty, we’d never find out what the actress said ..
November 11th, 2009 @ 12:34 pm
“Take your cock out of my mouth, I’m only 12″?
November 11th, 2009 @ 12:55 pm
MUTANT BABIES – HOW IN HECK WOULD THAT BE DIFFERENT WHEN YOU LOOK AT THE ‘ADULTS’ IN IRELAND???
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:04 pm
Gluey:I have ye figured.. You doth protest too much..
I put it to you Sir that you infact:
Love Ireland.
Its ,like, your Special Friend..
You want to have its Babies..
You have Gluaistean (Hearts) Irelnd written in your Copy book.
What do think of them apples??
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:10 pm
I would be in favour of nuclear power as I think it is the only realistic solution to oil running out. The only thing that worries me is that 7 out of 10 planned new reactors are to be built on the Irish Sea coast. If they are so safe, could they not build a few down near London? Johnny Ronan has Battersea power station lying idle, if they need a site. I’m sure he would oblige.
The bishops, of course, can go fuck themselves.
Which is what the mitres are for.
Allegedly.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:11 pm
I thought the Catholic Church was dead against Self-Aid. Not to mention humpbacking. Very keen on old sperm though.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:22 pm
A friend told me that he was told by MJ in a seance that the reason the release of that Dublin report has been delayed is because it contains graphic accounts of sexual exploitation of Dolphins by the clergy. And he never lies.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:25 pm
Did the bishop have any ideas on how we are going to solve our medium term energy problems? Use some religious voodoo hocus-pocus to change water into oil? Bishops should stick to their y-fronts.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:29 pm
Sure we’ve made a deal with Britain to buy some of its nuclear power and I’m sure we have taken some off the continent. We’re quite happy to use nuclear power when we want to.
The problem I have with Sellafield is that the Brits run it and I don’t trust their ability to keep our isle safe. So I’d be in favour of our state having a supervisory role in any expansion of Sellafield along with a neutral continental. If the Irish state pledged to buy a certain amount of its power from the facility, the nuclear company might more easily agree to that sort of supervision.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:46 pm
Yeah, the only problem with us having our own power plant is the fact that we’d have to keep it from blowing up.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:48 pm
Back in the 80′s, the UUP were against the development of Sellafield saying it posed an enormous risk to the people of Northern Ireland and the Isle of Man. Apparently the rest of us are going to be fine.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:49 pm
The problem I have with Sellafield is that the Brits run it and I don’t trust their ability to keep our isle safe.
FFS don’t forget Cromwell and the Famine.
Really, if anything goes wrong we’ll all be screwed.
And which “Isle” is this that is yours ?
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:51 pm
Yeah, the only problem with us having our own power plant is the fact that we’d have to keep it from blowing up.
I’m sure Mary Harney would do a great job Twenty !
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:52 pm
I’d equate cancer misdiagnosis with exploding core.
No thanks.
We could use her as solid fuel though till we got the nuclear plant built. Plenty of burning on old Mary
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:56 pm
The other thing, where would you put it without squeals of indignation from Concerned local yokels ? Imagine the potential for corruption, Land and building contracts etc, and the party manoeuvrings.
Limerick would be good though as if anything went wrong the locals wouldn’t be missed and hopefully the wind would take any unpleasantness towards the cheese eating surrender monkeys.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:59 pm
Leitrim. Nobody cares about Leitrim.
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:01 pm
Ireland doesn’t have the population to make a nuclear plant viable economically so I wouldn’t worry about it. Though it would imporve Limericks image.
”…reason the release of that Dublin report has been delayed is because it contains graphic accounts of sexual exploitation of Dolphins by the clergy…”
So thats what the blowhole is for.
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:02 pm
I fear we are going to see a sectarian split on this, as I note that the Bishop of Carlisle, James Newcome, supports Sellafield and also the prospect of another nuclear power station in West Cumbria: “I will defend my position on nuclear power by saying we need it as part of the green energy mix. A new nuclear power station at Sellafield would also provide thousands of jobs. I understand people’s concerns about safety but God has given us the technology as a gift and it’s up to us to make wise and safe use of it.”
And in May 2006, The Archbishop of York, the Most Revd Dr John Sentamu, made a visit to Sellafield. Speaking on his visit, the Archbishop said: “The workers at Sellafield are confident about the future of their industry, which is quite rare today. I think there needs to be more confidence about nuclear technology and the jobs that it provides.”
Oh dear, are we going to witness a theological debate between the churches on this? I think it’s time that Pope Benedict issued a papal edict, and consigned ecological heretics to eternal damnation.
See http://puckstownlane.wordpress.com/2009/11/11/some-questions-for-the-anti-nuke-archbishop-of-cashel/
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:07 pm
The Bishops are just trying out their new PR machine. I think you’ll find the Church speaking out on a lot of issues to appear to be in touch with the folks.
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:11 pm
Fuck’s sake, NedWithTheHead. Why would you think that the Irish supervising anything would make it safer? We can’t supervise our banks, TDs, councillors, FAS, mobile phone licences, health service, social welfare, and on and bleedin’ on.
We’ve given away all our gas and oil resources and any ‘supervision’ of Sellafield would be just another payola day for some cunts higher up the food chain than us. As fucking usual.
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:15 pm
I had to look at a map to find where Leitrim is, always thought that part was a large Landfill. But it is too close to NI. Sorry.
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
what crank said.
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:22 pm
I reckon there’s something more behind the bishops’ denunciation. Just check out these two photos, one of Sellafield and the other of St. Peter’s Basilica. Pretty similar huh? Now tell me there’s nothing Dan Brownish going on here.
…excuse me one moment. This tinfoil is making my scalp itch.
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:38 pm
We already have a nuclear reactor…
http://tinyurl.com/yhnb6dd
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:43 pm
It’s time FF gave the Irish people what they need, a nuclear bomb all of their own. It’s the only was a state is taken seriously these days.
November 11th, 2009 @ 2:56 pm
We wouldn’t be a State for very long.
November 11th, 2009 @ 3:07 pm
Things can only get better HM.
Ireland, losing Eurovision song contest, launches nuke.
November 11th, 2009 @ 5:25 pm
Mutation can be a good thing: People with two heads will never want for company unless they’re at odds with each other. Those lucky enough to get extra sex organs can double their pleasure, especially if one organ is male and the other female. And those that enter politics can fuck themselves instead of fucking others.
November 11th, 2009 @ 8:50 pm
And which “Isle” is this that is yours ?
The island of Ireland for the people of Ireland, which by the GFA we’re allowed to aspire to.
November 11th, 2009 @ 10:18 pm
LOL, aspire to, fair enough but the Island of Ireland is at present part British anyway , and will stay so for the foreseeable future, thank God!
November 11th, 2009 @ 11:10 pm
“..Arthurro, the flippered lad from Kinnegad”
Heh heh.
“Bono will still be involved because if there’s a ‘worthy’ cause you know that cunt will be on it unless the worthy cause is, you know, paying tax in your own country.”
OK – he is definitely a cunt of the highest water. But, in fairness, I don’t think I would pay tax in Ireland either, if i could get away with it. Just ask yourself “what are they going to do with this money? Pay themselves a bit more? Give it away to a useless bank/property developer?” I think i would rather give it to the Dutch, who at least spend tax money on prostitutes and drug cafes, like it should be spent.
November 12th, 2009 @ 4:40 am
Bishops are Kool .
They are like priests but with superpowers.
ArchBishops are mad kool even more superpowers
The Pope now he’s infallible ie. he can’t fall