I sometimes wonder

Have Cadbury’s ever managed to make a crumblier, flakier chocolate than the one they use in Cadbury’s Flakes?

Maybe years ago they though the pinaccle of crumbliness and flakiness had been reached but with new technology I suspect they could improve it. They’re just lazy.

And would a finger of fudge be just enough to give your kid a treat if your kid was a gluttonous behemoth who ate 10,000 calories a day and weighed 8 stone at age 6? I’d say a finger of fudge would be far from sufficient in those circumstances. He’d need a whole hand of fudge, possibly a forearm too.

And remember those chocolates that were kind of square shaped, a little thinner at the top than at the bottom, that came in a long, red wrapper and were really expensive even back in the day? They must cost a fucking fortune now.

I can think of about 400 things I’d prefer on the top of a Walnut Whip than a walnut. I hate walnuts.

Revels – why was it that in every packet the filling of one of them was mould?

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42 Responses to I sometimes wonder

  1. Hank Scorpio says:

    And In the words of Bobby Boucher’s Mama….Turkish Delights are the devil..

  2. blondini says:

    “And all because the lady loves…”?

    Well, yeah, maybes, but mingled with a touch of “also a bit because he’s trying to get into your knickers”, I would wager.

  3. Medbh says:

    Shit, I don’t think I even weigh 8 stone.

  4. Fill3rup says:

    Munchies are the sweets in the red wrapper..

  5. Twenty Major says:

    Munchies, that’s them.

    Medbh, more spuds!

  6. SuperGrover says:

    “Revels – why was it that in every packet the filling of one of them was mould?”

    I had Revels just today. one of the malteseresque ones was soft and all collapsed on one side like a bitten apple. Weird.

    I reckon that Revels are just collected rejects from other more defined manufacturing lines all chucked in together.

    They’re cheap and nasty but they’re great.

  7. Holemaster says:

    I like the Revels russian roulette tv ads.

  8. Crank says:

    When I was young (about 100 years ago) walnut whips were the most amazing thing. Then they made them smaller, the chocolate thinner, used smaller walnuts and changed the filling.

    Why did they think we wouldn’t notice? Pretty flakey if you ask me.

  9. Twenty Major says:

    It’s like trying to convince someone that the new Curly Wurlys are the same as the old ones.

  10. Radge says:

    Do you remember Top Decks? The top half was white chocolate, the bottom half was milk chocolate.

    They were quite nice but only came in the larger size.

    With you on the walnut whips. Walnuts are a key ingredient in lowering cholesterol, that’s their sole purpose to my mind. Plonking them on top of a gooey chocolatey mess is just not sound.

  11. Fill3rup says:

    Radge: Double Deckers you mean?

  12. Twenty Major says:

    Hmmm, I don’t remember Top Decks at all.

    Walnuts look like hardened leper warts.

  13. peckerhead says:

    I think you’ll find it’s Two-and-twos that you’re thinking of.

  14. peckerhead says:

    I stand corrected:
    1818479.jpg
    But Two-and-twos were much more refined.

  15. Scratcher says:

    I always thought the Cadbury’s creme eggs were much bigger, we get them over in the States and they are tiny? Maybe i was just younger and therefore they appeared to be bigger than they were?

  16. Twenty Major says:

    You had smaller hands

  17. Yippee says:

    Creme eggs are definitely smaller these past couple of years, curly wurlies are now tiny compared to what they were like years ago, and the Christmas before last I was so disgusted by the size of all the sweets in the large selection boxes I bought the kids, which consisted of more plastic casing then chocolate, that I swore I’d never buy them again.

    However, I caved in to pressure from outraged consumers, and last year they were a bit better.
    The selection boxes, not the kids, they’re still greedy little bastards!

  18. Holemaster says:

    Anyone remember Whippers? They were of the snowball family (Snowballis Squishis). They had a hard chocolate and rice krispie type outer shell with soft white goo in the middle. They came in a purple and silver wrapper.

  19. peadar says:

    or maybe they’re far away

  20. Crank says:

    Anyone remember a chocolate-covered marshmallow called a Vo-Vo? They were lovely but I was always too embarrassed to ask for one. Stupid bleedin name.

  21. Holemaster says:

    Yes, I was just going to mention Vo-Vos.

  22. Radge says:

    Fill3rup – Nah, Top Decks were different to Double Deckers. They were rarely found and seemed to disappear after a year or so…

    http://www.chocablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/cadbury-top-deck-1.jpg

  23. Radge says:

    Shite, sorry Twenty! You might delete the previous comment if you can. My bad.

  24. Twenty Major says:

    Changed it to a link.

  25. Radge says:

    Great, thanks.

  26. Holemaster says:

    I was pining for a Drifter the other day. Did they get eh, consorbed shall we say by some other bar?

  27. ModestMouse says:

    FLakes are a bit shite really, who the fuck wants a chocolate bar that you have to pick out of your jumper after eating and inevitably end up mashing into it? Actually, maybe I’m just shite at eating them. Give me a He-Man bar any day.

  28. Damien says:

    Had a thing for fizzle sticks and TK lemonade in a can.. that 20p (in old money :) used to go a long way as a kid.

  29. maggot says:

    Walnuts are cunts.

    I wonder if either of these two beauties posts here ? Is that Morgor by any chance ?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/8352729.stm

  30. paysan says:

    ‘Topic, a hazlenut in every bite’, no there wasn’t, lying cunts…

  31. triangle says:

    anyone remember trigger bars,chocolate covered toffee…….mmmmmmmm,no fukin teeth now thanks to them

  32. maggot says:

    Spangles Acid Drops, proper sweets!

  33. Crank says:

    Ah… Trigger Bars – the dentists friend. The cause of more lost fillings than shedloads of Limerick hoodies.

    Unwrap, bite, remove from face, display filling to friends. Scenes From An Irish Childhood.

  34. A lot of those toffee based bars were deceptive bastards when it came to seasonal changes. Curly Wurlys and their like were soft and harmless during the summer months but when winter came round they became hardened death traps. I remember having two of my milk teeth pulled out by a toffee log one February.

  35. Fill3rup says:

    Wham Bars… goodbye teeth..
    And they were bigger then too..

  36. Grumpy scottish cunt says:

    What has a hazelnut in every bite?
    Squirrels shite, thats what has a hazelnut in every bite.

    They come and go, but i find working, resting and playing comes easily, if i deep fry a mars bar in batter and punch it into my gob.

  37. Holemaster says:

    Big Time bars were awful tooth pullers. You’d see kids walking around with one those bars protruding from their mouth, waiting for it soften up after an hour or two.

  38. “a finger of fudge be just enough to give your kid a treat”

    Isn’t that a line from the Ryan Report?

  39. triangle says:

    anyone remember cleeves toffee,u had to use a toffee hammer to break the fukin thing,toffee hammers were sold back then……

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