Mental students
Posted on | November 9, 2009 | 61 Comments
One in three college students in Ireland is experiencing mental health problems, according to a university report.
One if three college students need to fucking get a grip, if you ask me. What is college life about? Going to a couple of hours of classes every week, going out at night, drinking, copping off with classmates, drinking more, smoking stuff, taking drugs, going to terrible parties where some cunt always pulls out an acoustic guitar and loads of earnestly drunk twats sit there in silence or keen badly along with the singing guitar playing cunt and then doing all that and more when you get lots and lots of holidays.
What the fuck have they got to trouble their mental health?
Peter Mannion, President of the Union of Students in Ireland, said it was important that students were aware of the help services available to them on campus.
I should set up a help service on all the major university campii. Like in Charlie Brown – The Doctor is ‘IN’. I can sit there and they can pay me €20 and say “I’ve got mental health problems. I’m so stressed. Poor me. Look at me. I’m all upset” and I will cure their mental health problems by slapping them right in the snout, telling to fuck off and grow up and unless they want me to find them and break all their legs to never darken my door again. None of this molly-coddling bollocks.
They just need a gentle shove in the right direction. Of course for some that right direction should be off the top of a tall building but you can’t help those kind of cunts anyway.
Mental health problems in college? Fuck right off. If you’re struggling in college wait until you get out and you’ve actually got stuff to worry about.
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November 9th, 2009 @ 10:15 am
Oh fuck off twenty…
November 9th, 2009 @ 10:22 am
If 1 in 3 college students are having mental issues and these are supposed to be the brightest of the bunch, then what percentage of people who don’t go to college have mental issues?
I would guess more than don’t go to college… just thinking of the freaks and alcoholics from my hometown who never escaped and never will.
November 9th, 2009 @ 10:25 am
maybe our current crop of students are all flawed, tortured geniusiises. as soon as these cocksuckers come through we’ll be well on our way to full recovery…
November 9th, 2009 @ 10:32 am
Oh fuck off twenty…
Why? We practically encourage people to blame normal stress and worry on ‘mental health’ issues when they just need to grow a set most of the time. Seriously, what have any of these college students got to worry about?
Grades? Give me a fucking break.
November 9th, 2009 @ 10:44 am
“oh no,i’ve to have that project in by April…”
“It’s November..”
“yeah,but its so close..”
SLAP!
November 9th, 2009 @ 10:48 am
The problem is they are suddenly realising that they don’t deserve everything they want and they are not the specialist little boy or girl in the world and worst of all, Mummy had to sell her SUV and Daddy had to downgrade to a Hyundai Santa Fe. Mortification.
November 9th, 2009 @ 10:51 am
Explains a lot.
In fact, the only way to reasonably explain a lot of what goes on in this country and around the world is to conclude that a significant portion of your fellow human beings are completely batshit insane.
Don’t dwell on it too much though, because the last thing you want to do walking down Grafton St is realise that a third of the punters milling around you are fucking nuts (more if you’re anywhere near BT).
It’d drive you round the twist.
November 9th, 2009 @ 10:54 am
100% agree, and it’s not just in Ireland. Back home, a girl got expelled from Uni for “wearing inapropriate clothes and behaving in a provocative way”. The students bullied her calling her a whore when she showed up to class in a mini-skirt and she got expelled.
Unis have also banned smoking on campus – all this shite because students were feeling pressured and disturbed by the smokers and now by short skirts.
Bizarre world…
November 9th, 2009 @ 10:58 am
One in three college students in Ireland is experiencing mental health problems, according to a university report.
Dobbing themselves in. Sweet Jaysus Wept
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:00 am
I’m taking a stab in the dark here Tatty but are you from America?
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:01 am
@fill3rup – Brazil (which is in America :)
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:03 am
Well, I’ll have to go ask that first year when I was in college who decided to throw himself in front of the DART… Is there a cemetary look up service on line?
I’d imagine a college student has the same set of problems any person has… I certainly did.
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:09 am
How many people were in first year?
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:12 am
To be fair, i prefer working to college.
At least i have some money to show for what I do rather than constantly scrounging.
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:16 am
@Tatty – I got good grades in Geography,thats near iceland isnt it?
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:16 am
TUG, I don’t think anyone is denying that are people who have genuine and serious mental health issues and need and real help.
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:17 am
Well, it all depends on how you define ‘mental health problems’.
If for example, you include “trying to study boring tripe that you’ll probably never need again in your entire professional career while nursing the mother of all hangovers and consciously trying not to look at the breasts of every single girl in the library” in the definition of ‘mental health problem’, then I can honestly state that I suffered this terrible debilitating psychological disorder throughout my student years.
I will be duly suing the Irish government into awarding be all the disability benefit that I am owed for those traumatic years and will invest this money in medicinal piña coladas while convalescing on a beach hammock under a palm tree somewhere.
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:20 am
Personally I find work much less stressful than uni. I studied engineering and worked much later hours than I do now.
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:25 am
AS USUAL TWENTY – MOCK PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO BETTER THEMSELVES…..
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:30 am
Not at all. I just think people are too quick to ascribe ‘mental health’ problems to everyday stress and strain.
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:54 am
I seen a girl crying in trinity one day… they didnt have her size in a dress she wanted for the ball!!!
Poor girl, she was devastated.
November 9th, 2009 @ 11:55 am
im goign to take guess here that a LOT of assignments comign in late, exams getting rechecked, absentiism etc while all being down to students goign on semester long benders are actually blamed on “acute stress” and “mental health issues”, very easy to get a doctor to sign off on that, so i take it this is where this figure is coming from. if they were collating this info 9 years ago i’d be in there too, nothign wrong with me other than i was a lazy bastard.
November 9th, 2009 @ 12:27 pm
Most so-called mental health problems are just a swizz. Get the drugs into them, keep ‘em placid, when a good pint of whiskey and a fist fight is all they really need.
November 9th, 2009 @ 12:30 pm
Then again, the 100% of mentally unstable students at Limerick University probably skew the statistics somewhat.
November 9th, 2009 @ 12:34 pm
I know that, as a student, any mental health problems I had were caused by excessive drinking, drug taking and sleep deprivation.
That and not getting laid for long periods.
Fucking students me bollix.
November 9th, 2009 @ 12:39 pm
@Holemaster, I’m not sure that chimes with Twenty’s comment above:
“They just need a gentle shove in the right direction. Of course for some that right direction should be off the top of a tall building but you can’t help those kind of cunts anyway.”
It’s as cavalier an attitude to suicide as our esteeemed former TeaShop once took.
Kudos twenty…
November 9th, 2009 @ 12:55 pm
I dont think it was suicide that was being advocated,murder yes,suicide no..
November 9th, 2009 @ 12:57 pm
Yes, murder it was.
Not that I have any problem with suicide jokes though.
November 9th, 2009 @ 1:34 pm
I had mental health issues when I was in college but after a few years of raping and kidnapping young boys I’m perfectly fine.
November 9th, 2009 @ 1:37 pm
Your one of the lucky ones Jorge
November 9th, 2009 @ 1:42 pm
Its all down to too much Daytime TV from the US of A.
November 9th, 2009 @ 1:47 pm
Do you mean Walker Texas Ranger?
November 9th, 2009 @ 1:55 pm
Walker, heh…
November 9th, 2009 @ 1:55 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ5w4MkFofc
no embedding here, eh?
November 9th, 2009 @ 1:59 pm
That is one of my favourite things of all time.
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
It is truly wonderful
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:06 pm
fuck am i one of the in three, i have been talking to myself alot lately maybe i should look for some college support
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:09 pm
I’m available to help.
I’ll even give you a fiver discount.
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:11 pm
I’ve noticed over the years that the mental health brigade are always trying to make out that “it could happen to anyone”.
Going nuts, that is.
I don’t believe that, however.
You’re either nuts or not.
BTW, Supergrover,what is April Ewing doing with Walker, Texas Ranger???
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:16 pm
its a pity Haley doesnt have aids…
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:19 pm
WTF, we’re creating a poxy nanny state with all this molly coddling of students!
I was a part-student until earlier this year, whilst holding a full time job. The last thing that I had time for was depression. My biggest worry was having time to eat properly and an occasional pooh.
The full-time students seemed care and worry free as they chased tottie, and smoked grass..
These Liberal three hugging Cunts are preparing students for a life of legal chemical dependancy, when in fact a bit of exercise in the fresh air will do more good.
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:22 pm
“BTW, Supergrover,what is April Ewing doing with Walker, Texas Ranger???”
What am I, a scientist? Go ask someone who gives a shite.
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:22 pm
Sorry
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:36 pm
Touchy, touchy!
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:38 pm
Being narky is the first sign of mentalhealthproblems!
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:43 pm
Weird, that’s what the voices have been saying.
November 9th, 2009 @ 2:55 pm
It’s perfectly normal to talk to yourself.
November 9th, 2009 @ 3:08 pm
Not normal when you think someone else is answering you, though!
November 9th, 2009 @ 3:20 pm
Send all the fucking students to Joe Coleman. That’ll fix them.
November 9th, 2009 @ 3:21 pm
you mean if i talk to myself its normal but if myself talks back its not normal
November 9th, 2009 @ 3:57 pm
A swift kick in the ass will cure most of them. The others can be sent to the U.S. and put in the Army. A year or two in Iraq or Afganastan will give them something to be mental about and we can use the cannon fodder.
November 9th, 2009 @ 3:59 pm
@Yippee
“I’ve noticed over the years that the mental health brigade are always trying to make out that “it could happen to anyone”.
Going nuts, that is.
I don’t believe that, however.
You’re either nuts or not.”
This comment regarding health issus shows the ignorance that exist in the world on this matter.
The fact is it CAN happen to anyone and, to elaborate, it is very often a temporary affliction.
Luckily they task people that have actually been exposed to and understand mental health issues to making decisions in this area.
In saying that, I did meet one or two students in my time who cited depression (for example) as a reason for bad grades- which was not always genuine. It wasn’t always a lie either.
November 9th, 2009 @ 4:04 pm
A swift kick in the ass will cure most of them. The others can be sent to the U.S. and put in the Army. A year or two in Iraq or Afganastan will give them something to be mental about and we can use the cannon fodder.
Yeah, you’d want to tell them you’re sending them away for some sunshine training in Florida before you ship them out though, lest they go all rampagey like that cunt last week.
November 9th, 2009 @ 5:18 pm
Is Jacko whacko?
November 9th, 2009 @ 5:39 pm
I can’t agree, Jacko.
I have seen mental health problems at first hand, and there’s a big difference between REAL mental health trouble and people not being strong enough/too lazy to cope with their lives.
Harsh but true!
Every second skanger is on anti depressants.
It must beat working!
November 10th, 2009 @ 10:04 am
Sorry Twenty, but I kinda have to agree with your first commenter. Seeing as I am a college student with a registered mental disability – this entire post is offensive to me.
November 10th, 2009 @ 10:15 am
Real mental health issues, i.e. schizophrenia or schizophrenia really shouldn’t me fucked into the same category as a ball gown or exams. They’re relative stress issues and hardly reasons to lob yourself in front of a DART. Most students haven’t a fucking clue what they’re talking about so referring to their “oh my God, DRA-MA” issues as such is a farce. I’m a mature student and having to share classrooms, air, space with some of them is insufferable.
November 10th, 2009 @ 10:15 am
But do you not see the difference then?
November 10th, 2009 @ 10:18 am
TheChrisD
Nobody is trying to offend you, but the term mental health when talking about living like a hog in the fat house is offensive to me. Living in Ireland is what causes stress, not living an insulated life in college. Your personal zen diagram might contain all of the above but try to establish what causes mental health issues as opposed to assuming it’s college.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:03 pm
I only started college this year, and I’ve spent the last five years working a job I hate after finishing my Leaving Cert. I’ve had mental health problems since my teens, including depression and suicidal ideation.
I’m a hard working student, I don’t drink, smoke or do any drugs (I have enough trouble with my mind as it is, without deliberately pouring shite into my body that will make it worse), I fucking HATE accoustic guitars and I’ve had to pay every red fucking cent of my course fees and supplies costs myself.
While I can appreciate that your post is intended as a joke, I found it offensive, especially with commenters saying that people with mental health issues are “nuts”.
Plus that, your whole “They just need a gentle shove in the right direction. Of course for some that right direction should be off the top of a tall building but you can’t help those kind of cunts anyway.”
Very caring attitude right there.
Depression and suicidal ideation can happen for lots of reasons, even just a simple chemical imbalance in the brain. It really can happen to anyone. It’s opinions like yours and those of the commenters on this particular post who keep the bad attitude towards mental health in vogue, rather than helping to break it down. Do you know what my thoughts were on reading that 1 in 3 students have mental health problems? I thought, “Fair play to them. Despite their problems, they’re getting a further education and working towards a better future for themselves.”
I’m not looking for sympathy for my problems or anything stupid like that. I just think that a bit of kindness towards fellow human beings would be quite nice once in a while, but I suppose that I’m not going to find it by reading Twenty Major’s blog.
November 11th, 2009 @ 1:50 pm
Lulu – the post was not about people with genuine mental health issues.
I just don’t believe that 33%+ of all students have those kinds of issues.