Now that’s what I call something something

Posted on | November 6, 2009 | 32 Comments

I backed away slowly. This was not right. The voice was not right. Hair stood up on the back of my neck.

“What do you mean ‘Why am I talking like that?’”, he said.

“That’s not your voice”.

“We all talk like this now, Twenty”.

“No. It can’t be”.

“It is. And you know it is”.

“Fuck you”.

“It’s your turn next”.

“Never. I’d kill myself before I let that happen”.

He laughed.

“Have you noticed the subtle change?”, he asked. “From insistent and hectoring, to friendly and enticing”.

“Fuck you”.

“You can’t escape. There’s no escape. And soon you will be one of us”.

I turned and ran. Ran like Logan who ran so much they named a film after his running. Ran from the land where everybody spoke with Ben Dunne’s voice. I got away. I escaped. By the skin of my teeth.

I woke shortly afterwards. I know what happened. This was not just a dream. It was a message. A vision.

He’s got to be stopped. Before it’s too late.

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Comments

32 Responses to “Now that’s what I call something something”

  1. Mosheen
    November 6th, 2009 @ 12:13 am

    I concur

  2. Crank
    November 6th, 2009 @ 12:27 am

    Having once worked in Dunne’s Stores, I have this lovely recurring dream where Ben Dunne is on the top floor windowsill of an American hotel, coked out of his box, threatening to jump, having just done the dirty with a brasser in a jaccuzi.

    Then the fucker wakes up.

    Pity.

  3. Ibanez
    November 6th, 2009 @ 12:34 am

    Logans Run.. Run Lola Run.. Cool runnings. All about running .. running away from the truth. Deep. Theres only so far we can run. Its cos were on and island and John Candy is dead. DEAD I TELLS YA.. RUN!!

  4. Twenty Major
    November 6th, 2009 @ 12:36 am

    You can’t run fast enough, Ibanez.

    “45c a day”.

    “Try it”

    “Hygiene, art, gallery, art, gym, Bendunne dot com”

    It’s over.

  5. itchybollix
    November 6th, 2009 @ 12:41 am

    they’re everywhere

    jack o fuckin’ conor too; same as.

  6. Twenty Major
    November 6th, 2009 @ 12:42 am

    Jack O’Connor is a stuttering, sub-Pronsias cunt

  7. truthisfree
    November 6th, 2009 @ 2:50 am

    WTF does the greedy fucker want even more money for anyway? How much is enough?

  8. sam crea
    November 6th, 2009 @ 9:31 am

    oh sweet jesus, save us from this man. News talk is constant with the ads. The lunatics over on the forum are boycotting that website which we shall not name.

    On a positive note, Clive James is on Tom Dunne at 11. Just finished his fifth book of memoirs, looking forward to number 6.

  9. Fill3rup
    November 6th, 2009 @ 9:35 am

    Crank:You can blame Bono for saving Ben Dunne,Id say he would have taken a short walk off that balcony if the hotel management hadnt got Bono (U2 were playing a gig in Miami the night before)to calm Ben down..
    You can blame Bono for a lot of things in fairness..

  10. Grumpy scottish cunt
    November 6th, 2009 @ 10:03 am

    Yeah, finger snappin, tax dodgin, Bob Geldof outdooin, little cunt that he is.

  11. SAm Crea
    November 6th, 2009 @ 10:17 am

    Bono and Irony.

    There was a feeling of disquiet among u2 fans in Berlin yesterday, when they erected a temporary ‘Wall’ around the area in which they were performing their ‘Free’ concert. It was to commemorate the 20 year anniversary of the fall of the Berlin ‘wall’

  12. Fill3rup
    November 6th, 2009 @ 10:20 am

    Most people at that concert would probably ,if given the choice,like a new even bigger wall built with extra machine guns and killer dogs on guard..

    Like Bill Hicks said when people were rejoicing about the break-up of the USSR “Now there 12 countries with nuclear weapons,fuck you”

  13. SAm Crea
    November 6th, 2009 @ 10:42 am

    Oh I just heard the new ad.
    Fuck your right, its worse!

  14. paysan
    November 6th, 2009 @ 10:44 am

    “Try it once, if you don’t like it…” Ben Dunne’s views on cocaine use. Now if he sold drugs on his site it might have some useful purpose…

  15. Fill3rup
    November 6th, 2009 @ 11:01 am

    Go here:www.bendune.com/hookers-n-pills

  16. rape-a-tron
    November 6th, 2009 @ 11:32 am

    now that’s what i call BENDUNNE better blogging.

  17. Git
    November 6th, 2009 @ 1:39 pm

    I was working in Tower Records when they had a fire and we moved temporarily into the old Dunne’s Stores offices on George’s Street. The offices upstairs were empty, and that’s where we went to smoke our joints.
    There was a massive oil painting of Ben Dunne that had been left there which looked like it cost a few bob to have done. It now has a Hitler moustache, it’s missing a few teeth, and his massive cock is peeping out of his trousers.

  18. Holemaster
    November 6th, 2009 @ 1:54 pm

    I like Ben Dunne

  19. Twenty Major
    November 6th, 2009 @ 2:02 pm

    Why don’t you marry him then?

  20. Toronto Icarus
    November 6th, 2009 @ 2:22 pm

    eh???

  21. Yippee
    November 6th, 2009 @ 2:44 pm

    It’s like the Twilight Zone, where the Dunnes Stores strikers never happened, the suppliers to the supermarkets were never run into the ground by Ben Dunne , while he did his Bond villian impression by refusing to discuss anything with them, answering only “Dunnes Stores Better Value” over and over, and he was never hog tied and carried out of a hotel, raving about soldiers and snipers.

    I’d have paid good money to see that!
    He’s a dangerous nut, a la The Dead Zone!

  22. Git
    November 6th, 2009 @ 3:10 pm

    My first job many, many moons ago was with Dunne’s Stores packing shelves. I clearly remember the panic and terror in the eyes of every jumped-up, spotty little ‘manager’ in the shop if they thought Ben Dunne was about to pay us a visit. They were terrified of him.

  23. Holemaster
    November 6th, 2009 @ 3:43 pm

    Now I said I liked him, not fancied him. I’ve seen and read interviews with him. He seems like an alright bloke. His latest ventures are somewhat misguided though.

  24. idlebones
    November 6th, 2009 @ 3:59 pm

    He’ll be on 50 foot high talking billboards a la 1984 before you know it, you know. Ben Dunne is watching you……

  25. Ben Dunne
    November 6th, 2009 @ 4:00 pm

    Yes I am.

  26. Git
    November 6th, 2009 @ 4:20 pm

    Holy shit!
    I’m outta here.

  27. Margeret Heffernen
    November 6th, 2009 @ 6:12 pm

    Come back to bed Ben…

  28. Fat Sparrow
    November 6th, 2009 @ 9:55 pm

    Oh, and here I thought you didn’t have Wal-Mart over there. Now I’ll know where to shop!

  29. Mosheen
    November 7th, 2009 @ 4:39 pm

    There you go Fat Spa, Ben Dunne’s hero is Sam Walton. Fuck the employees and the suppliers. Buy from China unless local manufacturers want to pay Chinese wages. Cheap goods appeal to the same customers who lost their jobs when you decided to buy the stuff they used to make.. from China. Dunnes just has to deal with better rules for employees because they are in Europe.

  30. Mosheen
    November 7th, 2009 @ 4:42 pm

    *rrow

  31. Fat Sparrow
    November 7th, 2009 @ 9:34 pm

    Cheap goods appeal to the same customers who lost their jobs when you decided to buy the stuff they used to make.. from China.

    Wasn’t much of a “choice” for me, Mosheen. Disabled, on the dole, lived in the ghetto. It’s what I could afford, end of. Half the time I got my clothes at the thrift store because I couldn’t afford Wal-Mart’s clothes prices.

  32. Mosheen
    November 8th, 2009 @ 2:16 pm

    I’m in bits

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