Monthly Archives: October 2009
Unspeling corectley for treebutes
Why is when you read about someone who kills themself, and they use some quotes from the messages (which always appear to be left on their Bebo page), the messages look as if they were left by people who for … Continue reading
We’re all Lisbonians now!!!
So, here we are. Lisbon has been passed. After rejecting the treaty in the first place the Government played us like a fiddle. Remember that sketch in the Fast Show with the bloke who agreed with each side of the … Continue reading
Goddam M50
I just paid for some tolls yesterday because I had to use the M50 because those cunting taxi drivers were blocking the roads through town. €3 per trip. When they had staff to man the toll booths and they had … Continue reading
Decisions decisions
Today’s the day. LISBON II – The Revotening. There can be only one … answer, and we’ll keep making you vote till you get it right. Yes to Europe, nice roads and healthy EU funding and open market and sexy … Continue reading
Public sector workers earn 20% more than private sector
According to one report anyway. Unions, of course, have said it’s balderdash. As they do. IMPACT General Secretary Shane Cody said: Most public servants work hard for modest incomes. Every one of them has suffered a pay cut averaging 7.5% … Continue reading
Suspiciously suspicious
We were having a discussion about the merits of custard in Ron’s last night. Well it wasn’t so much a discussion. It went a bit like this: Me – “Custard is completely ace. Anyone who doesn’t like custard is a … Continue reading
We were having a discussion about the merits of custard in Ron’s last night. Well it wasn’t so much a discussion. It went a bit like this:
Me – “Custard is completely ace. Anyone who doesn’t like custard is a cunt”.
Stinking Pete – “I don’t like custard”.
Me – “See?”
Honestly, there are things which normal people should like and any deviation from these things should make one suspicious of that person. Custard is one of them. Here are some others:
Football – I am most dubious about any man who doesn’t like football. Most dubious indeed.
Beer - I know a man who never drinks beer. He prefers Jack Daniels and Coke. He’s good man, for the most part, but there’s always that bit that makes you think ‘He doesn’t like beer. What the fuck is wrong with him?’
Toasted cheese sandwiches from a Breville sandwich toaster - They’re cheesey, toasty, triangly and with nice crunchy crusts. What the fuck more do you want?
Meat – it comes from animals who are made entirely of meat. It is delicious. A man who turns down meat in place of a ‘nice piece of fish’ or, God help us, a Quorn based meal of some kind makes my eyebrows twitch with skepticism. Now, I do like fish but fish love should not take the place of meat love. If animals were not meant to be eaten they’d be made of clay or some kind of substance which is as tasty as bark. Were there any cavemen vegetarians? No there were not. And look at how successful they were. We wouldn’t be here without them.
Boxer shorts - the wearing of briefs, y-fronts, thongs or any other kind of underwear shocks me to my very core. Of course there’s the whole ‘How do you know what underwear that chap is wearing?’ question, but this can be combined with Football. Even a man who plays football and then changes into a pair of paisley y-fronts after the game warrants some measure of disstrust.
The internet - “Ahh, I don’t bother with any of that old online stuff”. Words which should make anyone wary. Why not? The greatest source of information ever created at your fingertips and you prefer to do what? Refuse to play football while not eating a toasted cheese sandwich from a Breville sandwich toaster while drinking a Pimms eating a veggie burger wearing crap underwear, that’s what.
These might be just my personal foibles, feel free to share yours, but if you don’t like any of the above I’ve got my eye on you. If you don’t like them all then come the revolution you’re up against the wall.