I’ll stay the way I am
Posted on | October 30, 2009 | 48 Comments
Dirty Dave is having a fancy dress party tomorrow night. I am, naturally, invited. So I have to choose between dressing up in a costume, standing around in a room full of witless clits dressed in costumes all going ‘Oooh, your costume is soooo funny!!!’, or sitting at the bar in Ron’s drinking pints of plain.
It’s a tough decision.
I do wonder why people choose to get dressed up. Apparently it’s ‘fun’ but I’m not sure I understand what’s so fun about it. As a small boy I remember having to go to a fancy dress thing and I went as a cowboy with my rifle which went ‘bbbkkkeeeeeewwwww’ when you pulled the trigger. It was an awesome rifle but I did not enjoy the costume side of things.
And the idea of hiring a costume makes me want to barf out of my anus. Costume hire is like bowling shoes x 10000000. Disgusting.
Some other idiot has been secreting their goo and ooze, their goooze if you will, all over the inside. I’m sure they claim to clean them after each hire but I am dubious about that. Maybe they get a young Chinese girl to give them a bit of a dust-out but repeated washing of such clothing would render it useless in no short space of time and when you need to maximise profits by getting the most hires as possible out of one outfit then I’d say they err on the side of not cleaning.
So this weekend, when you’re dressed as a womble, you’ve got Ciaran from Ballybrack’s gooch dandruff nesting in your pubes.
Lovely.
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48 Responses to “I’ll stay the way I am”
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October 30th, 2009 @ 11:00 am
Fuck costumes. Fuck Hallowe’en. I’m spending it naked and in complete isolation.
Please, no follow up questions.
October 30th, 2009 @ 11:01 am
I had a good question but I shall respect your wishes and not ask it.
October 30th, 2009 @ 11:44 am
Aw, I hate bought Hallowe’en costumes. Make it yourself, make it well, make it witty or piss off.
Had a lad in work yesterday telling me about this amazing costume he saw last year in Barcode (!). Some fuckin’ Star Wars thing. Apparently what was really impressive about it was that it cost this doofus several hunderd to buy.
A look of blank incomprehension was the response to my reply dismissing such an action as that of a spasmo.
October 30th, 2009 @ 11:56 am
anyone over the age of ten who dresses up is touched!
Holloween is for kids and middle aged tards!
October 30th, 2009 @ 11:59 am
I’m dressing up as a ninja. I may also go on a killing spree if i get drunk enough.
Then just disappear in a cloud of smoke.
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:00 pm
I hate cunts who go as Batman and the silly bints who click into auto mode and instantly think they’re hot.
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:02 pm
To be fair to this cunt he put a bit of effort in – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC08Lx-zkhI
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:04 pm
Being a huge fan of both Batman and ninjas – two of my favourite things in fact – I surmise that both of you are cunts, and should go to a party dressed as inverted hairy triangles.
I even dress like a ninja when its not halloween.
I am a ninja.
Can we talk about ninjas and ninja movies for the rest of the day??
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:10 pm
Don’t knock the Womble suit, it has magic powers.
This is kinda good: http://www.wtfcostumes.com/costumes/toy-soldier-costume.jpg
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:15 pm
I’m saying nothing….
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:17 pm
Womble suit = pubedruff, Speewah. You know it because you’ve got it.
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:17 pm
Dressing up is good if you make the costume yourself. And its a decent costume.
Go in just a pair of boxers. People will (sometimes) ask what you are? “Oh, I’m a premature ejaculation! I came in my pants…”. Always worth it.
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:28 pm
My last two costumes were Patty Hearst (from the famous shot of her under the SLA flag with the gun) and the year before that I was Circe trailing a stuffed pig.
Costumes are fun.
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:33 pm
I’ll get Dave to send you an invite, Medbh
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:43 pm
i bought one of the €20 lidl suits when they were selling them, i never did get the job so i’ll be turning it into a zombie costume tomorrow.
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:50 pm
I’d admire that somehow.
October 30th, 2009 @ 12:52 pm
Or, simply leave the suit as is and go as Green Party councillor.
October 30th, 2009 @ 1:03 pm
Woo, smokin, Twenty!
Yeah, dressing up. Not for me. I heart morgor’s enthusiasm though, bless him. Ask him to show you his helmet.
October 30th, 2009 @ 1:19 pm
I’m going as the 11B bus.
When anyone asks when I’m coming, I’ll just say I arrived early and left before they got there.
October 30th, 2009 @ 1:57 pm
I’d love to slide into a costume lined with Britney’s intimate secretions.
October 30th, 2009 @ 2:02 pm
Heh – Steve Bell’s greatest cartoon. Bush in Darth Vader outfit, saying “is this Yurp, can I show ‘em my light sabre ? “
October 30th, 2009 @ 2:13 pm
maggot Says:
October 30th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I’d love to slide into a costume lined with Britney’s intimate secretions.
oh baby, baby
October 30th, 2009 @ 2:18 pm
“a stuffed pig.”
One of those sorts of parties ?
October 30th, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
I’m going in my own clothes and when people ask me what I’m supposed to be, I shall reply “a dry shite”.
Also check out these cunts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIjBqFMwM08 t
hey really need to get a missus.
October 30th, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
This is good, and costume-y.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiuxG_PQCoU
NOW can we talk about ninja’s?
October 30th, 2009 @ 2:20 pm
Delboy. And, more particularly, Rodney.
Enough said.
October 30th, 2009 @ 2:32 pm
My ninja costume is cool, it comes with a balaclava.
It’s a genuine martial arts store outfit.
I find it hard to take off again.
it was only about 30 quid which is cheaper than renting the pieces of shit that you get in those shops.
October 30th, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
I think Holemaster may have the copyright on Rodney.
October 30th, 2009 @ 2:59 pm
I have a black-lined-with-white kung-fu suit that I bought in Singapore some years back. It even has the little slippers and all.
I’ve never worn it for any reason but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
October 30th, 2009 @ 3:26 pm
I heard that SG.
October 30th, 2009 @ 3:39 pm
so i’ll be turning it into a zombie costume tomorrow.
Going as Michael Jackson rape-a-tron ?
October 30th, 2009 @ 3:39 pm
You plonker
October 30th, 2009 @ 4:24 pm
“Going as Michael Jackson rape-a-tron ?”
real zombies dont touch up kids, they bite fucking lumps out of them, i’ll be somewhere in between.
October 30th, 2009 @ 4:50 pm
Be warned: ‘Not Suitable For Minors’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZW0fDCbwqE
October 30th, 2009 @ 5:47 pm
I’m going to eat 500 pork pies, go for a jog to get all sweaty, feed some cattle and take a nap, not brush the hair all while dressed in a cheap suit and i’ll miraculously look like Brian Cowen.
October 30th, 2009 @ 6:23 pm
I got invited to a fancy dress birthday party recently, 60′s theme.
I wonder how it went?
October 30th, 2009 @ 6:26 pm
Awesome.
I’ll put my hair up and go as Joan Holloway.
October 30th, 2009 @ 8:21 pm
She’s fantastic…
October 31st, 2009 @ 12:15 am
Christ almighty!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hereford/worcs/8334313.stm
October 31st, 2009 @ 4:45 pm
Quiet today – you buggers all gone to Knock ?
October 31st, 2009 @ 6:05 pm
Whats a 60′s party? Do you wear comfortable shoes and talk about your retirement?
October 31st, 2009 @ 10:37 pm
Happy Halloween !!!! to y’all
November 1st, 2009 @ 12:05 am
I dressed up as Gary Glitter and had a ball.
November 1st, 2009 @ 4:22 pm
Regarding spooky people and places, a friend asked me to check out a Bloggers site called Bock the Robber. This Bock chap is not a well person. It is a scary and depressing blog, he simply has not a good word to say about anything or anyone, except himself. His use of profanity is extreme which generally indicates low intelligence and an inability to be articulate. He, in my opinion is an unfortunate fool who lacks any contentment in his life. A cranky, old and bitter person who likely lives alone ( who could live with that?). Any poor sod can run a blog which mocks everything in site, that is so easy. Has anyone come across this chap?
I know that he has barred a few people for disagreeing with him or sharing a different opinion. Apparently he is a bully and likes to control his contributors. Just another sicko I expect. Takes all kinds I guess.
November 1st, 2009 @ 4:50 pm
His use of profanity is extreme which generally indicates low intelligence and an inability to be articulate.
Imagine.
Maybe you should express your reservations directly to Bock though. This isn’t the place for it.
November 1st, 2009 @ 6:41 pm
Ghost Rider Says:
November 1st, 2009 at 4:22 pm
. His use of profanity is extreme which generally indicates low intelligence and an inability to be articulate.
I know that he has barred a few people for disagreeing with him or sharing a different opinion.
He sounds like my da. Though with regard to profanity; check out The Thick of It on BBC2; that’ll learn yu.
November 1st, 2009 @ 10:25 pm
Just checked out Mr The Robbers site. Read first 2 lines of his comments policy. Wanker.
November 1st, 2009 @ 10:34 pm
Bock – a cunt.